by Holly Rayner
“You’re right, of course. I’ve never given up on anything, and when it comes to you, I certainly won’t. Let’s get some sleep, little one.”
Sophia was on her way to bed when her phone rang from the bedside table. When she looked at it, her eyebrows rose in surprise.
Lifting the phone, she pressed the answer key and held it up to her ear.
“Well, this is unexpected,” she said without preamble.
Jed cleared his throat.
“Yes, well, I had some time to think about our interaction today, and I wanted to apologize for my behavior. It was unwarranted.”
His voice was rushed, like he had been practicing what he was going to say all day and just wanted to get it out. Sophia leaned against her bed, staring at her bedroom wall.
“An apology from Jed Shields. I don’t imagine many people get one of those.”
“You might be the first,” he admitted.
“Well now, that is progress,” she said.
There was a silence. Just one in a million that had dotted the landscape of their sordid relationship.
“Sophia, I’m not good at this. I am good at one thing—convincing people to see things the way I want them to. You are the first person that I haven’t been able to crack, and frankly, I haven’t known what to do about it. You are, to me, the biggest failing of my career, because no matter what I have tried, you have refused to change your way of thinking about anything.”
“Really? I am entirely unaware that you were trying to get me to think anything at all.”
“That’s the point. If people know you’re turning their thoughts, they would guard them mercilessly. I wanted you to believe that I won’t be there for you, so that you could come to terms with what I wanted to do—help you minimally and forget this whole thing happened.”
Sophia’s heart cracked a little at his words. This whole time she had been working to convince him that being a family man would better his life, he was covertly trying to convince her that she was better off without him.
“Do you want out of this, Jed?” she asked in a whisper.
Jed hesitated before he answered.
“No. I don’t.”
Her heart was racing. Their future was on the line, defined by this moment. He was either in, or he was out, and she was tired of trying to make him into something he wasn’t. It might be the first battle she lost.
Wait, what did he just say?
“What?” she asked, dazed.
“I don’t want out. I still don’t want to be where you want me to be. Maybe that’s my own stubbornness talking, I don’t know. All I know is I have felt worse than I’ve ever felt in my life this afternoon, and I imagine it’s because I don’t want you to be unhappy. That doesn’t mean I’m ready to play happy family, but there it is.”
His voice was terse, his frustration with his own feelings glaringly apparent. Sophia realized in that moment that she had been quietly wearing away at his defenses. While he was unwilling to admit that he was coming around to the idea of being a father, he had just told her without saying it that she was getting through to him.
Her heart warmed.
“I suppose I can understand that,” she conceded. “I appreciate you calling. I think this might be the first time you have.”
“It might,” he agreed.
Another pause.
“I have another checkup tomorrow afternoon, if you’d like to join.”
“I’ve got a meeting,” he said, the excuse readily available.
Sophia bit back her frustration. The fact that he called, apologized, and admitted what he was doing to push her away were all major victories. She would hold them close and hope that before the baby came she would be able to get him more than just halfway there.
“I understand. I’d love to go for a walk again sometime this week, if you’re game.”
“I think I can make one of those,” he said, his voice filled with relief that she wasn’t going to force him to visit the doctor with her.
“Sounds good. I’ll be in touch.”
“I know you will,” he said.
“Hey Jed?” she asked.
“Yes?”
“Thanks.”
“No need to thank me. I know when I’ve been wrong. At the very least, I think you deserve to know where I’m coming from. This isn’t exactly easy for me, Sophia.”
“Why?”
“Do you really have to ask? You think having a child sprung on you is easy?”
“Do you really have to ask me that? The difference between you and me is right here, Jed. I’m ready to face the challenge head on. You’re doing everything you can to run away with your tail between your legs.”
“You’re calling me a coward,” he said, tersely.
“You bet I am. Do you have any idea what it’s been like to face this situation not only alone, but forced to do everything in my power to ensure that my baby’s father is the parent my child deserves? Even you don’t believe you are. It has been a herculean task!”
Sophia sat back as she heard Jed breathing to calm his temper. She probably shouldn’t have said that. They had actually taken steps towards a better place. She couldn’t help herself. The man was infuriating.
“Look, I called to apologize for my behavior. I don’t need my character questioned by you, or anyone else.”
“And yet, when you’re running for office, it will be on full display. I encourage you to consider that as you dodge me every step of the way towards parenthood.”
“Well let’s cross that bridge when we come to it, shall we?”
“I’m not sure if I’ll still be on your bridge when that time comes. Or have you forgotten that I matter when it comes to being seen as a good father? How am I going to lie to the public when they ask what you were like during my pregnancy? Am I going to tell them that you catered to my every need? Ran out for ice cream whenever I wanted? Massaged my aching lower back?”
“I call you to say I’m sorry and you threaten my career. How do you expect me to support you when you behave in such a way?”
“It’s not a threat when it’s the truth. Why don’t you examine your own behavior, again, and you’ll see that you’ve been the one who needed to change all along, not me.”
The conversation was veering wildly out of control again. How was it that Sophia couldn’t talk to Jed without it turning into an enormous fight? Is that what she would expose her child to, if they stayed together? Perhaps cutting him out was the right answer.
When Jed answered, his voice was laced with exhaustion.
“I don’t want to fight with you, Sophia. I get it. I haven’t been supportive of any of this. Maybe someday you’ll concede that you weren’t exactly understanding of my position, either. In any case, I would like to end at least one of our conversations on a positive note.”
“Really? And how do you intend to do that? After all, I can’t do all the heavy lifting here.”
“By repeating to you that I am sorry for my behavior. I’m not lying to you—I really do have a client meeting tomorrow afternoon, but let’s plan on walking together the day after. Would that be sufficient?”
Sophia bit back a cutting retort. She reminded herself that in spite of his terrible manners, he was trying. It was up to her whether to accept his efforts or not.
“It would. I’ll meet you at the park.”
“Until then. Have a restful sleep, Sophia.”
“Good night, Jed.”
She hung up the phone then, holding it in her hand as she stared out into the depths of her mind. Pregnancy was hard enough without having to deal with the likes of Jed Shields. As she snuggled under her comforter, a wave of exhaustion washed over her. The baby woke then, shifting in a myriad of directions. She cradled her belly with her hand once more as she drifted off to sleep, wondering just what the future held for all of them.
Chapter Thirteen
Two days later, Sophia was standing at the edge of Central Park, talking on he
r cell phone.
“You’re seriously meeting up with him again? I don’t like any of this, Sophie. I think you should just cut your losses and run. That baby will be loved by us enough to not need a father in his or her life.”
“Come on, now. I’m not giving up until the fat lady sings, and I’m not singing,” she joked, her hand resting on her belly.
“Do you really think that this is ever going to work, Sophia? The man is stubborn and rude, and I’m afraid that he’s making your pregnancy more difficult.”
“I’m fine, Gen. I need you on my side here. What else can we do to get him on board?”
Genevieve thought for a moment.
“You know, Chris and I have plans to go to Vermont for the weekend in a few weeks. I was going to ask one of our friends to watch the kids, but what if you did it?”
“You know I’d be happy to watch them, Gen. Why didn’t you ask before?”
“I’m not just asking you. I’m saying, what if you and Jed come and watch them together? Even I have to admit they didn’t give the best first impression the last time we were all together. Maybe if he sees what parenting can be like without all the puke and mess, he might start to see the good in it.”
Sophia’s mind raced at the thought of spending a weekend with Jed. They had only ever spent one night together, and that didn’t exactly end up happily. Still, could her sister be right? Could Jed see the good side of parenting, or at least be better prepared, spending more than an hour with her beloved niece and nephew?
“Let me talk to him. I’ll see if I can convince him. Either way, I’ll be there, so don’t ask anyone else.”
“Okay. Good luck, Soph.”
“Thanks, Gen. I know it’s a risk letting someone you don’t really know around your kids.”
“He’s going to be a part of our lives, no matter what. In any case, I think there’s about a zero percent chance of his kidnapping them, so between the two of you, I think we’ll be good.”
Sophia saw Jed making his way down the sidewalk towards her.
“I’ll keep you posted,” she said, and ended the call.
When Jed approached, he stood back a little from her, gauging how their interaction would be. She couldn’t really blame him. When the two of them got together, sparks always flew. She was so tired of fighting.
“Hello,” she said.
“Afternoon,” he greeted.
“Shall we?”
“Let’s.”
They fell in stride, walking in silence side-by-side, Sophia listening to the breeze through the leaves, which had transformed over the summer and through autumn, a cascade of brilliant colors surrounding them. How had time passed so quickly?
“I was talking with my sister,” Sophia said, breaking the quiet.
“Oh?” Jed replied.
“She needs help in a couple of weeks watching Jaden and Emma.”
Jed remained silent. Sophia stopped walking, and he halted beside her, his gaze questioning as he asked with his eyes what the holdup was.
“I’d like you to join me,” she said, her eyes holding his as she made the request.
Jed laughed.
“You can’t be serious.”
“Am I ever not serious?”
“Last time…”
“Last time was a bad impression. I’d like you to get a real taste of what having kids around is like. How better to do that than to spend a weekend with some?”
Jed stared out at the park, searching his mind for an excuse that could get him out of it. Sophia watched him carefully, his angled chin encased in a light smattering of beard. When did he start growing a beard?
After a moment, he glanced down at her, his lip twisting up ever so slightly.
“You’re not going to take no for an answer on this, are you?”
“Nope.”
“What if I have a client from out of town to entertain for the weekend?”
“Move it. This is practice for being a father. What could be more important?”
Jed sighed, and he began walking again, Sophia joining him.
“I couldn’t possibly imagine.”
Sophia grinned. They were in for a weekend of surprises, but at least Jed was willing to try. Perhaps they might make it through all of this, after all.
Chapter Fourteen
Jed was exactly on time to pick Sophia up from her apartment, and together they drove the short distance to Genevieve and Chris’s place. When Jed pulled into the parking garage and parked the car, he took a deep breath as he turned off the engine.
“Scared?” Sophia asked.
He cast her a sideways glance.
“I’m never scared,” he declared.
“Liar,” she said with a grin.
They exited the car, and when Sophia moved to lift her bag from the trunk, he held out a hand to stop her.
“I’ve got it,” he said, easily lifting the bag onto his shoulder before closing the door.
Sophia stared at him. It might have been the first kind gesture he had ever made toward her of his own free will, though the past few months had been such a whirlwind, it was impossible to remember. They took the elevator up to Genevieve’s apartment and rang the doorbell.
The sound of little feet rushed up to the door before it was opened, and Emma looked up at them with wide eyes.
“They’re here!” she called.
Sophia wrapped her in a hug as they stepped inside. Jaden was seated at the table again, this time his mouth full of what appeared to be sliced peaches. Genevieve was writing on a piece of paper, but she looked up when they came in.
“I’m just writing down emergency numbers and any weird quirks the kids have going on right now. Don’t worry, Mr. Shields, Jaden’s surprise flu has long since passed. You should be in the clear this weekend.”
“That’s good news,” Jed replied.
There was a general bustle as Chris and Genevieve bid farewell to their children, both of them hugging Sophia and giving an awkward wave to Jed as they made their exit. When they closed the door behind them, Jed and Sophia locked eyes before looking at the two small children who were staring at them.
“Well, here goes nothing,” Jed said.
“Are you a lying, good-for-nothing creep?” Emma asked Jed.
Jed stared down at her, clearly stunned.
“Emma!” Sophia admonished.
Emma shrugged her shoulders.
“That’s just what I heard my mom say. I don’t know if it’s true though, because he’s really cute.”
Sophia felt her cheeks grow warm, though she couldn’t tell just who she was embarrassed for. Jed knelt down on the ground again, his green-eyed gaze warm as he looked at Emma.
“Your mother might have been a little right, but I’d like to prove that I’m a little better than I may have led on. Would you like to give me a chance?”
Emma nodded enthusiastically.
“Yeah! Do you like building forts?”
“Um,” Jed said, casting a lost look at Sophia.
She had been watching him with interest as he interacted so well with her niece, but she realized in that moment that he had no idea what Emma was talking about. She stepped in to save the day.
“Of course he does. Everyone likes to build forts!”
“I wanna play!” Jaden called from the kitchen, and he bolted into the living room, where he pulled out a series of very comfortable looking blankets.
They began placing blankets over the sofas and tables, with Emma giving strict directions to Jed on how to place them to ensure a strong structure. When they had run out of blankets and pillows, the four of them crawled underneath.
“It’s dark in here!” Jaden declared.
“Ow, that’s my toe, Jaden!” Emma complained.
“I fail to see what’s so exciting about making a cramped cave for everyone to lie in,” Jed said.
“You don’t get it! This isn’t just a cave. This is a magical cave. Everyone who lives here has special powe
rs,” Emma breathed.
Jed had no reply to that.
“What are our magical powers then, Emma?” Sophia asked, enjoying the sense of play, even though she had to move extra slow with her growing belly beneath her.
“Auntie Sophie and the baby can talk to fairies, and Jed can use mind control.”
“That sounds good to me,” Jed said, and even in the dark of the tent Sophia could hear the smile in his voice. She couldn’t help but chuckle at her niece’s ability to pick out the power that he used in his work.
It was as though a completely different man had walked in that door. Was Jed always like this with children, or was he trying something completely new? Emma led them through a series of magical quests that took up the entirety of the afternoon. Finally, Sophia’s back began to ache from kneeling around on the floor.
“I think your aunt needs to be pampered,” Jed declared.
Sophia looked up at him with surprise, and he grinned down at her, winking.
Her heart did a little flip. After all they had been through, all it took was one wink from Jed to have her stumbling all over herself. The man was certainly powerful, in that way. For all intents and purposes, she should hate him. Somehow, she found it entirely impossible. Especially once Emma ran with the idea and began giving her a foot massage and a manicure.
“Now this is the kind of spa day a mage can appreciate,” Sophia sighed.
“I’m bored,” Jaden said.
He then proceeded to knock down all of the blankets. A lamp wobbled precariously as he tugged the blanket out from beneath it, and Jed dodged.
“Look out!” he cried, managing to catch the lamp with one hand.
Jaden looked up at him, his shoulders slumped as he prepared to be scolded for nearly breaking an expensive piece of furniture. Jed stared down at him, looking unsure.
“You should probably be more careful. I’m pretty sure this lamp isn’t cheap.”
“Sorry,” Jaden said.
“It’s all right. Let’s just fold these up so we can have the living room back. We don’t want your parents thinking that we’re slobs, right?”
“They tell us that all the time. My mom says that I’m the best at cleaning up, though,” Emma said, her little chest puffing out proudly.