by Laura Marie
She thought that she had wanted to be alone forever. To never love again or feel intimacy with a man again. With Johnny she felt blinded by desire.
She felt his hands undoing the zipper to her jeans to gain better access, and then his fingers pushed down the material of her panties before continuing to touch her most intimate parts.
She found herself lifting her hips higher toward him, giving him freer access.
Panting, moaning his name…
“Johnny, oh, Johnny.”
His fingers did a number on her body as his other hand pulled the jeans and panties down her thighs. She released her feet from confinement in a hypnotic trance from his technique.
It was too late when the reality set in. He could see her scar.
Her eyes widened in shock, and her hands slapped against his chest harder than she intended in an attempt to stop him. It echoed through the room.
The slap didn’t seem to faze Johnny one bit.
She knew she panicked and sounded breathless, but how could she let him get this close? This had to be a mistake, a disastrous one.
“Stop.” One hand lay meaninglessly flat against his chest while the other covered her scar best she could.
Johnny held her with little strength, but she still attempted to pull away.
“What is it, darlin’?” he asked in a raspy voice as his eyes followed her line of sight to her stomach. Her hand was flush against the scar in hopes that he hadn’t noticed it.
Her heart pounded, and her eyes welled up with tears.
“Stop, Johnny. Please don’t look.”
* * * *
He pulled her hips flush against his own then took her hand away from the scar. He locked gazes with her and firmly took the palm of her hand towards his lips and began to scatter gentle kisses along her wrist and palm. Johnny expertly moved his one leg between Julianna’s legs, cocooning her body beneath his own. She was lying on the mattress, her hands by her side.
Knowing he caught her off guard didn’t faze him, but the sight of the scar close-up, and the knowledge of what caused it, drew in his full attention.
Staring at the discolored flesh and remnant of what that monster of a man had done to her sent a wave of anger and disgust through his body.
Julianna appeared to take his expression and intense stare the wrong way. He watched the pained expression wash over her face. She thought he was looking at her scar in disgust as she tried to pull away and get up from underneath him.
He wouldn’t allow it.
“Julianna, it’s okay.”
“No it’s not. It’s not okay,” she cried out, shaking her head side to side, trying her hardest to move her hips from beneath him.
Johnny covered her body with his own, holding her arms by her side with his elbows as he held her head and face firmly but gently between his hands.
The tears flowed from Julianna’s eyes, and his heart ached for her.
“Look at me. Look at me, Jules.”
She tried to resist, but it was no use. He had her firmly buried underneath his body and right where she belonged and right where he wanted her to be.
“You’re breaking my heart, darlin’. Please don’t cry.”
Johnny found himself wanting to rid her of any reminders and pain from Lawrence.
“I know about the scar. I know what happened.”
Obviously overcome with emotion, it appeared she didn’t hear a word he said. He repeated his sentence more calmly while holding her gaze.
“Jules, I know what he did to you. I know what happened to you.”
Julianna cringed. He felt her shock and could see it in her eyes. He would have to speak calmly, make her see why and how he knew.
“How? What do you mean you know?” she asked in a panic, her voice shaky.
“I investigated your background. Called an old Marine buddy in New York. I know about Lawrence.”
The anger seemed to fill Julianna to her core as she pushed against him, trying to use all her might to get him off of her.
“Please, Julianna, understand why I did it.”
“No! I knew you didn’t really care. I knew you had selfish intentions. Is this what you do? Make women fall for you then rip their hearts out? You bastard!”
She shook her head side to side, and the tears streamed down her cheeks, but he wouldn’t release her.
“No, Jules. I was worried. You were acting suspicious and…”
“And that gives you a right to invade my privacy, to look into my past? How could you?”
He was silent as he held her gaze.
“Probably the same way you chose to investigate me.”
Julianna stopped fighting him but remained silent.
* * * *
The file. He found the file in the truck when he rescued me. Her heart sank in her chest. In a panic, she looked around the room trying to find a way to escape. If he saw the file, if he investigated her, then he knows about Lawrence and the FBI. What if he was hired by Lawrence to kill her?
She closed her eyes and cried.
He slightly released his hold.
“Julianna.” His voice sounded so far away as her mind erupted with thousands of scattered thoughts.
Is he going to kill me? Have his way with me first? How did Lawrence get to him so quickly? I don’t want to die.
“Please, Johnny. Please just leave me alone. I don’t know how much he paid you. I don’t care what he told you. Please let me live. I’ll give you anything,”
Not caring that she sounded hysterical, she pleaded for her life. There wasn’t a chance in hell she would be able to defend herself in this position or against a man the size of Johnny.
She backed up from underneath him as he moved to kneel above her. Her head reached the headboard and she froze.
The file had given her false hope, a false peace of mind that the sheriff could be trusted.
Johnny was reaching out to her. She tightly clenched her eyes and brought her knees to her chest in an attempt to cover her naked flesh and defend her body from the strike.
Nothing happened. All she could feel was the bed dip forward as Johnny inched closer. The touch of his hand on her knee made her whole body jerk. He didn’t budge.
“What did he do to you? You think he paid me to?”
She cautiously opened her eyes even though she was afraid that he might strike her. She knew that if Johnny chose to, that she would not survive a hit from a man his size.
Seeing the anger and the shock in Johnny’s eyes had her full of confusion. She covered her face with her hands, pulled her knees tighter to her chest, and cried hysterically.
The mattress slightly dipped again and she knew Johnny was coming closer. Feeling his fingers touch her ankle then glide up her calf, her thigh, and all the way to her shoulder, she knew he was facing her.
She felt him embrace her shoulders, and then she heard his words. Words she wanted to believe, to let penetrate and trust.
“Darlin’, don’t be scared. Please stop cryin’.”
He gently caressed her legs to a laying position then straddled her thighs and hips being sure to keep most of his weight off of her.
Julianna refused to uncover her face until Johnny gently moved her fingers.
He took her hands into his own and kissed each palm.
Eyes closed, afraid to look, to attempt to read what was hidden beneath the surface of those dark eyes. Until she felt his lips cover hers in a soft, slow kiss. When she opened her eyes, he held her gaze.
With a firm voice and an intense expression, he spoke to her.
“I’m not on the take, Jules. Lawrence didn’t hire me. I never met the man. ’Cuz if I did, I’d kill him,” he whispered.
She tried to let his words register. She wanted to believe him.
“Please let me go,” she begged in a whisper as the tears continued to flow.
“I can’t.”
She cried, feeling defeated, and letting the tears flow from her eyes, she
took short rapid breaths.
“Why?” she asked then felt the confusion as Johnny smirked.
“’Cus I’m fixin’ to make ya all mine.”
The silence fell between them as Julianna tried to absorb what the sheriff was saying.
She finally got enough courage to ask.
“Why me?”
He chuckled at her. That toe-curling, drive-her-wild-with-want smirk of his drew out an instant desire, sending waves of warmth and wetness between her legs.
She felt her cheeks heat and knew she had to be blushing.
Her stomach was doing a roller coaster of emotions. Fear, hope, desire, and confusion ripped through her heart and soul. Her sanity was lying on the line, and she was utterly defenseless.
“I’m a stubborn man, Jules. Can be ornery, heartless, and downright mean sometimes, but you, you make me feel alive.”
She swallowed hard at his confession but found it hard to believe that such an attractive, charismatic man didn’t have all the women swooning over him, making him suppers, and baking pies like some women do in an effort to get a man.
As if reading her mind, he continued.
“I’m a man, Jules,” his finger gently glided over her lips, “not a saint. I can have a woman anytime I want.” His thumb caressed her cheek then he rolled over to his back, taking Julianna along with him.
He held her steady against his hips, her naked body straddling his manhood, as the palms of her hands lay flat against his chest, keeping her distance from him.
His words lingered in her mind. He could have any woman he wanted anytime. The jealous and angry feeling consumed her all at once. Then came the other emotions completely out of left field.
Excitement, desire, and lust.
The solidity of his thighs beneath her bottom and the feel of muscles and manliness against her palms were making her lose all self-control.
Confirming she had finally lost her mind, she mentally accepted the fact that she desired this cowboy. He turned her on. He made her feel alive and all-woman. Her first inclination was to label it carnal need, flesh against flesh, woman against man in a race to devour one another, body, mind and soul. Sex, plain and simple.
She inhaled then used all her inner strength not to show her thoughts or give Johnny any inclination of what lustful thoughts were spinning in her head.
She had to do a better job of guarding her heart. Her life depended on it.
As much as she wanted to believe his words and that he didn’t know Lawrence, nor had he ever met him, she still felt the need to hold back. Don’t trust him, you can never love again.
In an attempt to maintain some composure and not reveal her attraction, she forced herself to suddenly give an attitude. He didn’t have to know how inexperienced she was nor how susceptible she was to his attributes. She glanced down at the bulge between her legs and the feel of stone beneath her fingertips, and she swallowed her fear for as long as she could muster.
“So you want sex? You just want a roll in the hay with the new girl in town?”
She hoped she sounded nonchalant, experienced, and as if she was used to this type of foreplay. She sensed the rush of heat hit her cheeks at her spontaneous use of the word “foreplay.”
She attempted to pull her hips from his, but he held her hips firm against his own. The feel of empowering, callus-covered, hardworking hands against her flesh made her giddy with desire. He had amazing hands. Hands that held a gun, arrested criminals, a service man, who fought in the war for his country and a man who rode man-eating bulls as a sport, wanted to have sex with her.
Damn it! The need to have him inside her, satisfying her every fantasy, consumed her to her soul. He could be her knight-in-shining-armor, ultimate cowboy that could whisk her away to another time and a better life.
Simultaneously with the thought, she felt his one hand travel over her backside before pulling her flesh into better position above the large bulge.
Then came the sinful, deep, rugged sound of his voice, and it felt like the sound actually touched her. It was like inching her body into a sinfully hot bubble bath. She could practically feel each muscle relax with every inch deeper into the water.
She felt the warmth of his breath as he spoke, his words, the sound, sliding down her throat, smooth as honey.
“No, Jules. Not sex. You’re more than that. Now I’m just settin’ the record straight. I’m gonna make ya all mine. I want to make love to you.”
Julianna’s body stiffened at the sound of his words and the determination in his voice laced with a sexy Southern drawl. She wanted to believe him. She wanted him to love her even if it were just one night.
One of his hands moved up her waist, past her rib cage, then to her breast, cupping it in his hand.
“Tell me you don’t feel the same, darlin’, and I’ll stop.”
Her libido was doing the tango. Her stomach muscles quivered, and damn it, she wanted hot, wild, uninhibited sex, and she wanted it now, with Johnny.
His hands rubbed and caressed her flesh as she closed her eyes and allowed nature to take its course while the desire to have him intensified.
Eyes closed, she battled between sexual desire and past mistakes.
The positive sensations of his large hands against her skin and the bulkiness of his body beneath her led her to a decision of pure desire. It was against every promise, every declaration of self-control and hopes of a renewed direction in life.
As nervous as she felt, there appeared to be a stronger, deeper sense of trust in the man touching her. Drawn towards him by some indefinable power, she could not resist.
His fingers trailed between the valley of her breasts, to her firm stomach, and then the valley below. The motion of each digit drew out the resistance and tossed the denial, the fear, out of her. He had her arching her back, calling his name, demanding he stop but hating him if he obeyed. There was brightness, explosions of emotion, and a need, a deep inner need, to get closer to Johnny.
“Oh, Johnny, please.”
The feel of his fingers leaving her then trailing to his belly before those same hands grabbed her hips and lifted her was too much.
She needed him inside her, needed to be connected, glued.
There was a back and forth struggle in her mind. Damn the pants he was still wearing and keep the pants on, this had to be a mistake. The bulge pounded from confinement against her nakedness. Eyes closed, she embraced the sensation despite the captivity. The most erotic, feminine, sexual feeling and attitude came over her.
Slowly, she lowered her body to his, their lips a breath apart. She whispered, “I want you, too.”
A tear escaped her eye, her body pressed deeper against Johnny’s, and their lips united.
* * * *
Johnny never felt so alive in his life. Julianna’s words lingered in his mind as his hands and lips explored her body.
I want you, too.
The significance of the need she professed, the trust, the emotion, and depth of her admittance was not taken lightly or for granted. She wanted him, she needed him, and the feeling was mutual. Absorbing the scent of her skin, the softness of her flesh, and the femininity of her embrace had him hooked. He found himself head over heels for a young woman he hardly knew yet felt he knew far too well.
Her need to isolate herself from emotion, to hide from affection and attraction, was understandable. Hadn’t he been doing the same thing over the years after the war? If one doesn’t use their heart, then there’s no risk of it getting broken.
He glided his hand gently behind her head through her hair, and he held her in position where her lips were inches from his own.
The urge to remove his pants was increasing to the point where he would rip them off if he could.
“You’re so beautiful, darlin’. I need to be inside you,” he whispered, knowing how breathless he sounded.
The sensation of her body clinging to his chest was as delicate as silk. Her voice, her purrs in response to
his touch, had him on a high.
Johnny gazed into her eyes, identifying the look of shyness and uncertainty, and he waited impatiently for her command to continue. The thought of her declining brought on a hollow feeling in his stomach. That concern was quickly relinquished as he followed the movement of the tip of her tongue as it glided out and over her swollen lips. He loved her lips, could kiss them all day long if she would let him. “I’m about at my wits’ end, sugar. You all scoot on over and let me up.”
* * * *
The pounding in her chest was enough to make her lose her breath. The sound of Johnny’s voice, his Texas accent, and the finesse of his style left her weak and wanting. His experience, his comfort with his sexuality, made her nervous and made her desire him more.
She gulped the lump of fear and uncertainty farther down her throat at the sound of him pulling down the zipper. It seemed to echo through the bedroom despite the crackling embers from the fireplace.
Each motion of his hands as they pushed the jeans down and off his body had her screaming for his touch.
Ironclad thighs, trim waist, and a well-rounded, muscular backside had her heart trying to escape imprisonment in her chest. She could have sworn she felt the skin protruding right above the organ’s designated position.
She wondered if the crime rate was up in Claire County for female criminals. If it were so, she knew exactly why. No sheriff had a right to look so damn sexy. One glance at the naked work of art and women would surely be committing crimes just to have Johnny’s hands on them, cuffing them and throwing them into the back of a police car.
She wouldn’t act so silly, so affected, revealing her lack of experience.
No way could she allow Johnny to see how much control he had over her already. One look, one touch and…
Johnny removed his camouflage boxers.
Covering her mouth with one hand, she felt the instant explosion of fire and ice. Where the hell did the confident, don’t-let-him-see-how-inexperienced-you-are bullshit go? Heat sprang upward from her pink manicured toenails to her sex-crazed, lustful, and Johnny-intoxicated mind, making her blush to what she was certain was an ungodly shade of red.