“I’m just looking forward to relaxing,” he continued, “Seems like you won’t be getting too much of that.” Mira turned to him, eyebrow still raised. He nodded toward her sling. She let a small groan escape her throat. “Your therapist any good?”
Her eyes widened, “Excuse me?” That was a pretty personal question. Aside from that, she found it a bit insulting he would just assume she routinely visited a therapist. She did, but that was beside the point. “Your physical therapist? Helpful or not so much? It can go either way, really, depending on experience and patience.
She breathed out and noticed how tense she was. She registered it and, immediately, confusion flooded her again. She was unsure why she was so tense. She convinced herself it was because of his unexpected presence and her panic at his mention a therapist. She relaxed after he clarified physical therapist, after all. She noticed him staring at her expectantly and, at this point, slightly bewildered. “Oh, well, I stopped visiting him a while back.” He pursed his lips slightly. “I know, that’s bad. He wasn’t any good and I never bothered to look for another. I’ve done exercise on my own but it’s not nearly as good as a professional. I guess it’s my own fault it’s healing so slowly.”
He nodded in understanding more so than agreement. “It can be discouraging, I get it. Well, if you’d ever be interested, I can help you out with that.” He clamped his mouth shut and looked down. It was quick and short; he wasted no time in gathering his friendly face and looking right back up at her. She did, however, notice it. What was that about? Did he not want to help her after all? As if reading her thoughts, he said, “Well, my name’s Delv. I live in the complex so just let me know if you need some help.” With that, he hurriedly put his sandals back on and left the pool area.
It was hours later; Mira was back in her living room, showered and dried. She sat on her couch, staring back out onto the pool. She had spent a relaxing hour there, after Delv left, just soaking her feet. She didn’t think about him or his offer during that time. She just let herself enjoy the breeze, the water around her legs, and the best she had felt all summer. Plus, she couldn’t deny her happiness at finally wearing her bathing suit. She wasn’t frivolous, by any means, but she did believe in taking happiness from even the small things. She had learned to appreciate every thing and every moment in life. Rather, life had forced her to learn the lesson.
She sighed and opened the small drawer of the end table next to her, pulling out a covered picture frame. Holding her breath, she removed the small cloth covering the glass over the photo. There they were, happy as ever, never imagining this photo was taken on the precious, last days of his life. She thought they would wear those smiles forever, together. She never worried about betrayal or their love falling apart. She much less worried about other drivers taking it upon themselves to break them apart. How naïve she had been. A teardrop hit the surface of the glass, splattering on contact. Then another. She quickly wiped her tears away and cleaned the glass before covering it. She couldn’t even feel the pain in her shoulder anymore; all she could feel was the ache of his absence.
She forced herself off the couch and stepped outside. The sky had a dusky glow and the breeze was still about. She started to walk in the vicinity of her department, needing to clear her head. She shut her eyes and began deep-breathing exercises while standing under a tree. She was only broken out of it by the sound of footsteps, which, incidentally, belonged to Delv. “Twice in one day, what are the odds?” She gave a small laugh. “Especially going from never having met before,” she replied.
He stopped in front of her, dazzling smile and all. “Well, I only moved in a couple days ago. Might have been strange if you saw me walking around here before then.” He could have practically winked after saying it. She smiled again, this time a bit wider and more genuine. She could not deny there was something interesting about him. More than that, there was something about him that made her stomach churn. She was unsure if it was good or bad, she couldn’t tell. In this light and proximity, she couldn’t fail to notice he was an attractive man. She concluded he was definitely older than her. It was not his gray-streaked hair that gave away his age; it was his mature facial features. His demeanor. But he also gave off a bright, youthful energy. Perhaps this was his draw; the divine mixture of maturity and youth people can only aspire to.
“So, do you ever spend any time actually in your apartment?” She laughed at his question and ability to break a long silence. She shrugged and began to slowly walk away from him. “Care to join me on a walk?” She asked this looking over her shoulder. It had definitely come out a lot more seductively than she intended. She didn’t let it faze her. He smirked and nodded, taking a long stride to meet up with her.
“So, what are your hobbies aside from loitering around the apartment building to talk to strangers?”
“Excuse me, I believe you talked to me first.”
“Ah, that’s right. I approached you both times. Damn, can’t hold it against you then. Or maybe I can.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’d say the second time ‘round was your turn.”
She gives out a breathy laugh. He is so easy to talk to. It’s refreshing. “I invited you to walk with me.”
“I guess it makes up for it. So, what brings you out here?”
“Just needed to clear my mind.”
“Oh?”
She slows her pace and bites her lower lip. It’s so smooth to talk to him she didn’t even realize the answer she gave. She invited questions. But she processed his response. It was inquisitive but not pushy. It was an open invitation to do or say whatever she felt comfortable with. He had extended a helpful, even caring, hand without expecting anything. Not many people could pull all this off with one, monosyllabic word. She turned to look at him and her stomach churned once again. Right at that moment, the light hit his eyes and she gasped before she could help it.
That was it; she finally knew why she felt what she did around him. It was definitely not a good churn. His eyes were strikingly similar to Kevin’s. Her lip trembled and she had to look down, away from Delv’s eyes. She couldn’t bear to look into them, not when it made her think of looking into Kevin’s. Those perfect, striking eyes she could never possibly see again. She didn’t notice the silent stream of tears staining her cheeks.
“Hey, do you need me to walk you back to your apartment?”
She was pulled out of her heartbreaking trance by Delv’s gentle question. He was indeed kind. He knew exactly how to be sensitive, not to pry but show he was available if needed. How could he accomplish so much with so little? And how could he be so caring with someone he barely knew? She nodded and began to slowly walk toward her apartment with him by her side. The entire walk was silent. She stopped in front of her door and looked up, still avoiding eye contact. “I’m sorry, I must seem-“
“Don’t worry. I make no assumptions. I understand sometimes… Well, we just feel the way we do. There is no need to apologize. Is there anything I can do to help you?”
In spite of herself, she nods. “Would you like to come in for some tea or coffee?”
He seems a bit surprised but he nods anyway. He must not have been expecting the woman who suddenly shut down to invite him inside. The truth was, she could not allow herself to be alone at this moment. Even if it meant keeping the company of a man possessing exactly what caused her to break down. As she set the kettle on the stove, she realized the very same eyes that broke her made her want to keep him around. Was she going crazy? No. She knew what it felt like to be on verge, this definitely was not it. She decided to sort out her reasons and feelings later.
She set down the warm cups of tea on the dining table and carefully took her seat across Delv. He seemed interested in looking around but was careful not to look like he was being nosy. He reminded him of a curious animal. She then gave a small, quite laugh. She momentarily thought fuzzy, noting his facial hair, grown out just a bit past stubble. It didn’t look m
essy. It gave him character. Not that he needed any more.
“What’s going on?”
She could understand his confusion. What impression had she given off today? With her long silences, sudden crying, and now a random laugh, she did not even want to think of what he thought of her. “Are you not afraid of being in a strange woman’s apartment? Specifically, my apartment?”
“Why should I be?”
She gaped at him. He seemed genuinely confused as to why she would even ask. He did not seem too concerned with appearances. He knew there was always more to a person and actually cared to explore that. No wonder she wanted his company. His character was just as striking as his physical appearance.
“I was joking, I just felt odd about the impression I’ve given you today.”
“Oh. Honestly, you shouldn’t. I know you probably can’t help it but I didn’t start cataloguing you based off the few interactions we’ve had. Wouldn’t that be unfair?”
“I suppose but it’s also part of our nature to do this. I tend to do it but I’ll also reshape my view of a person as I get to know them more.”
He nodded.
“Your eyes remind me of my ex-fiancé’s.”
There was a moment of silence. He softly rubbed two fingers across his lips, thinking how to respond. Assuming he had nothing, she continued to talk.
“He died a year ago. Or a year-and-a-half ago if you count the coma he never came out of.”
He set his hand down and looked down at his tea. Something about the way he did it made her think it was out of consideration. He knew it was best not to give her direct eye contact considering what she just told him. She was struck not only by his forethought but also by his way of conveying why he was doing it. She found herself almost marveling at him.
Something about her sadness mixed in with hope, with a strong feeling she couldn’t quite identify. It was like she had a piece of Kevin back through these eyes. These eyes belonging to a man whom, by all accounts, seemed quite amazing. This was the first time she found herself noticing a man since Kevin’s passing. This was the best she had felt all summer. This was the only time she had ever experienced this indeterminable feeling.
Suddenly, her hand was on his. His eyes were boring into hers. There was mild shock registered behind them but also confusion. Not the kind of confusion about the situation, confusion on his end. Probably similar to her own.
She wondered what was going on inside his head. She willed herself to look directly into his eyes. She felt a jump inside her and her heartbeat accelerated. Her breath caught in her throat. She could, for a moment, feel she was looking into Kevin’s eyes. Her mouth went dry but, this time, she did not feel the threat of tears. She felt a completely foreign, bewildering mixture of emptiness and thrill. She almost hopeful. It was as if, in this moment, she was not to be stuck with the pain of losing Kevin for the rest of her life.
She suddenly got up and walked away from the table, back turned to Delv. She was looking at nothing in particular; she just needed to step away. “I’m not so melodramatic so as to think I’m fated to be miserable forever. I never thought that way, not exactly. It just truly felt like the pain of losing him would never leave me. I know it’s illogical and unlikely, but it felt like the rawness of it would never decrease.”
“Everyone thinks time heals all. It doesn’t. Some people never move on from a terrible experience in their lives. I think the expectation that you have to move on makes it harder for a person to actually do it. There’s no timeline or correct way to get over that kind of loss.”
Mira sighed. She didn’t want to be one of the lost souls who couldn’t move on. Wouldn’t that make her a weak person?
“It doesn’t mean you’re weak. It’s just that everyone deals differently. You don’t think you’re fated and, believe it or not, that’s a start in the direction of healing.”
She whipped around so fast she got dizzy and stumbled. She grasped the edge of the table for balance. Delv had gotten up immediately to help her. After regaining her breath, she looked up at him. How could she possibly have come across a man like him? Everything about him was charming, caring, and cautious. He was handsome. He was understanding and insightful. He had a great sense of humor and an ease of talking to people. He even had those striking eyes, the eyes bearing an uncanny resemblance to Kevin’s. And how unique those eyes were.
They were what she most loved about Kevin in the physical aspect. It was not so much about their color, though that was beautiful as well. His eyes were a beautiful mix of blues, a type of cerulean and teal. What was striking about them was how they glimmered in a highly specific way. They echoed the ripples of a pool in a low summer sun. They had the same effect as those small waves shadowed on the pool floor in a relaxing way. They were gorgeous and alive. They soothed her. They reminded her of what she most loved; and, how fitting, that she should see what she most loved in whom she most loved. She had never seen anything like them. And, until now, she never thought she would ever see anything like them again.
She had been so lost in thought, or memories, she did not notice when Delv had moved so close to her. She did not even notice when he wrapped his hand around her forearm. She only noticed when his face was close to hers and his raspy voice said, almost whispered, “Mira, are you okay?”
She was not okay. She was completely befuddled. She kept flashing back to memories that were painful to her. Memories she would never let go, memories of everything that had meant pure happiness. She felt confusion because she could not bear to look into Delv’s eyes but also could not stop from doing just that. She could not even begin to process what she felt toward Delv. Of course, she didn’t necessarily have to feel anything, right? Why was she making such a fuss? She knew the answer deep down but couldn’t admit it. She felt frustrated because this was all too much, seemed a bit too ridiculous, and she hated feeling senseless.
She had been silent, again, for a few minutes. Delv had not let go of her. He had not stepped back. He had been patiently waiting for her answer. Finally, when her breathing slowed a bit, she turned to him. She faced him, faced everything. His face was even closer than he anticipated but she forced herself not to flinch. He stood stock still, waiting. It didn’t matter what he was waiting for because, she knew, he wasn’t expecting anything specific. The next move was completely on her, he wanted to give her all the control. He wanted her to feel free to do what she felt comfortable with.
She did not exactly feel comfortable with her choice, but it was hers. She inched forward slowly. She didn’t stop and, soon, their lips met. In a brief moment, she let go of all her thoughts and inhibitions. She allowed herself to just feel his lips on her own. She fell into the kiss, and so did he. He shifted his body so they were closer to each other; she turned hers to fully face him. His hand swept up from her forearm to the nape of her neck, grazing her shoulders along the way. She shuddered. She had not kissed anyone since Kevin. She had forgotten what it felt like to be touched.
She was completely falling freely into bliss when something suddenly pulled her out. It took all her strength not to instinctively shove Delv away from her. But she jerked back in such a way she may as well have. The trouble in his eyes was unmistakable. Her chest heaved with her racing heart. “I’m sorry, I think”
“Okay. Good night.” He walked out quickly and quietly.
She was left with a small pang upon noting the difference in his voice. She couldn’t blame him. But she couldn’t blame herself either.
“So, what happened?”
He was straight to the point. She had to admit she really liked that about him. It was just another quality to add to the roster. “I don’t regret kissing you, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“I’m not thinking anything.”
The seriousness in his tone was clear, strong. She should have known he wouldn’t be his usual self, full of charm and banter. She also should have known he probably wouldn’t walk in here full of assumptions
. She had invited him in, after secretly peeping out her window all day to catch when he walked by, to talk about why she, so suddenly, stopped kissing him.
“Right. Well, I don’t. I actually enjoyed the kiss but I-“She broke off and decided not to fight the tears. “I haven’t kissed anyone since Kevin. I haven’t even looked at anyone since he passed away.” The tears continued to streamed down her cheeks. She gingerly wiped them away with a tissue and continued, “You did something he always did when we kissed and it broke me.”
He nodded in understanding but kept quiet. This was her moment. He was nobody to impose his thoughts or feelings. She couldn’t decide if she wanted to tell him what he did. She didn’t know if she wanted to tell him about his eyes, though she had thought about it more than once.
She got up and walked over to Delv, who had taken a place at the corner of her couch. She easily reached out for his hands and he just as easily gave them to her. She gave a gentle tug to indicate he should stand. He did. She didn’t allow herself a single second of hesitation. If she did, she might change her mind. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned in for a kiss. He carefully closed the gap and, just like that, they were kissing again. It was slower and softer this time; even more so than the first kiss. She could tell he was measuring every movement, afraid of making her break down again. She smiled against his lips while reaching down for his hands that remained still at his side.
Paranormal Curves (BBW Collection) Page 4