“I think so,” I say. “I definitely know you can tell a lot about how a person’s feeling by looking into their eyes.”
“It’s all related,” Cassius assures. “Some sentient beings hold on to their defenses and guard their soul into death. Others let their defenses down when they feel they are in good company. Humans don’t show their true colors unless they are with someone they trust, usually, correct?”
I nod.
He continues, “While all of this is true for mortals as well as immortals, humans can’t see souls in the way that an angel or demon can. This is where I must warn you. If you allow a demon or an angel, a natural demon or angel, to see inside of your soul, if you decide to bring down all of your barriers and allow them entry, it is much harder to resist them should they want more from you.”
“More?” I ask.
“The soul has many corridors. It’s like a maze. If an angel or demon really wanted to explore every inch of the soul, they would have to spend much time inside of it. Though, I would argue such a thing is impossible—unless you are God. Seeing into a soul is taxing on the one looking in. It can also be painful for the receiver depending on what is being done to them. An angel or demon typically won’t spend long periods of time inside another’s soul because of the difficulty.
“The most important thing to note is that once you let a natural demon or angel see your soul, you can potentially be lost to them. It’s possible you could build your defenses back up, but it is unlikely.”
I let out an involuntary shudder. “You don’t think that Arsen’s already in my mind, my soul?”
“No. I don’t. You have never truly been at ease around him, even with your connection.”
“I guess that makes sense,” I say.
“There is something else you must know. Each soul has a unique resonance. If you allow someone to see your soul, to find that resonance, then you will be forever marked in their vision. You would never be able to get lost in a crowd, because you would shine like a beacon in their sight.”
Cassius watches me unblinking as he says, “Now I must ask, do you trust me?”
“Why wouldn’t I trust you? You saved me. I wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for you. I don’t really understand all of this letting down my defenses stuff, but I don’t think I’ve ever really had any around you. At least not for a while now. Am I wrong?”
A soft smile spreads across his lips. “True. I suppose that answers my question, doesn’t it?”
“I trust you,” I say. “I’m ready to do this when you are.”
“Then let’s begin,” he replies. “Take off your white diamond and place it in your hand.”
I do as he says.
“Now lay your hand down at your side, palm up with your white diamond.”
I do that too.
Cassius places his hand on top of mine. Then he leans in closer to me until our faces are practically touching. With his other hand, he holds my face still. It’s nearly impossible not to look into his eyes now.
“Now you need only relax,” he says in a soothing voice.
I watch the colors as they come and fall away inside of his eyes. It’s like there’s an entire galaxy in his eyes. It’s mesmerizing. I start feeling sleepy. It’s almost like the changing colors of his eyes are hypnotizing me. I don’t know if he’s doing anything other than looking at me, though. I don’t feel anything different, except I guess my panic is finally going away. I don’t even know what I was panicked about. Everything is just fine. Arsen is on his way to see me, but that reality doesn’t seem scary anymore. Nothing seems scary. I can’t even remember what my anxiety felt like.
I’m not sure how much time passes, but it feels like not much time at all before Cassius blinks, and I’m brought out of my trance.
He sits upright and places both of his hands in his lap. I sit up too.
“Thank you,” I say, perfectly calm. “I feel better already. I didn’t even feel you do anything.”
“You’re welcome. I only connected the white diamond to your soul, to help soothe you and to stop Arsen’s side of the bond from influencing you.” He pauses. “Arsen, when he comes, will try to confuse you. He will try to make you bend, but with your white diamond now connected to your soul, as long as it’s with you, you will be safe. He won’t be able to tug on your bond at all. Keep this white diamond with you at all times. Keep it safe.”
He touches my open palm with the white diamond in it and gently coaxes my fingers to curl around it.
“I understand,” I say.
“You are ready to face him,” Cassius says. “Keep Arsen close. You need to show him that he has no power over you. You need to show him that you are the one in control. ”
“I’m ready,” I say, and I can feel the conviction in my words. I place the white diamond back around the silver chain, next to the black diamond, and tuck them safely into my shirt.
“Are you coming back to the base for this?” I ask. “I want you to watch me. I won’t let you down.”
“Yes, I’m going back with you. And I know you won’t. There’s no possible way you could let me down.”
I FEEL SO NERVOUS. Tasia was practically falling apart in my hands. She said she saw Arsen kill another demon like it was nothing. She was in hysterics. I hate seeing her like this. More than anything, I want her to be happy. I’ll do anything if it makes her happy.
I pace the Mirror Room, waiting for Tasia and Cassius to return. About an hour has passed by now. The soldiers in the Mirror Room have been watching me pace back and forth. They haven’t told me to calm down—which I appreciate because I don’t think I could. I just want Tasia to be okay.
I hear footsteps and feel the bright presence of what must be the oracle. I turn my head to the doors leading into the Mirror Room and let out a sigh of relief. Cassius and Tasia are walking side by side. Tasia looks calm now. She isn’t shaking, and she’s walking perfectly well on her own.
I start walking forward, anxious to get to her. The closer we get to each other, definitely by the time we’re standing in front of each other, I notice a strange feeling in the air. Tasia feels different somehow. It must be that calmness. She’s never this calm and collected. She’s always had this underlying anxiety, but I feel no trace of it now. She isn’t doing any of her nervous habits, and she’s looking me in the eye without the slightest hint of hesitation. She seems strong, not that she wasn’t before, but she doesn’t look like she needs me to lean on now.
“How are you feeling?” I ask.
Tasia takes my hands with an unreserved energy.
“I’m ready,” she says.
I’ve never heard her speak with such conviction. I believe her words without question. This is the kind of influence only the most confident of people have, but this is Tasia. What did the oracle do?
The oracle returns to the base along with me and Tasia. When we get there, the whole place is under alert and it’s more packed than usual since the representatives are still here, figuring out where to station seven of Valor’s angels to better help the rest of the EEA. Nothing has happened yet, but everyone is on edge. Everyone is waiting for Arsen to arrive.
Blade takes Tasia aside when she spots us, and the confidant takes the oracle. The confidant and the oracle leave the lobby, whereas Blade and Tasia stay. Blade asks the typical questions, trying to make sure Tasia is all right, and Tasia is giving perfectly calm responses. I don’t know what I should be doing right now. I don’t know what to do for a Tasia that doesn’t need comfort. It’s a strange feeling. I’m glad she’s so calm, but I also don’t understand how it’s possible. And it makes me nervous in a different way.
“I have something I need to take care of,” I say quickly, as I rudely interrupt Tasia and Blade’s conversation.
“Okay,” Tasia says too easily.
Blade frowns at me, but she doesn’t say anything as she continues her conversation with Tasia. Judging by the look on her face, she’s feeling as uncertain about
this calm and collected Tasia as I am.
“We’ll all be standing behind you when he comes,” Blade says.
That’s the last I hear of their conversation. I hurry in the direction I saw the confidant and oracle disappear in. I find them again quickly enough. That’s when I slow my pace and continue following them from a distance. There are plenty of others around, so it doesn’t look like I’m following them exactly. I silently curse my bad luck when the confidant pulls the oracle into a storage room where she shuts the door—but I don’t give up.
I’m very quiet about each step I take as I creep up to the door. I stand at the side of the door, leaning against the wall. I take out my phone so it doesn’t look like I’m listening in on their conversation, and then I focus on my hearing.
“What did you do?” I hear Confidant Valor say rather harshly.
“I made it so her white diamond would protect her,” Oracle Cassius replies, perfectly calm.
“But is that all you did?”
“Yes, that’s all.”
I hear something clatter inside. Maybe something fell over. I have a hard time believing that either of them knocked something over on accident.
“Please do not take me for a fool, Cassius,” the confidant says.
“I have never taken you for any sort of fool,” the oracle replies. “Whatever is troubling you, I’m sure we can discuss it later. We have more pressing matters to deal with at the moment.”
I don’t bother trying to rush away. I’m almost certain the oracle and confidant are aware of my presence, so doing that would look more suspicious. I stare at my phone and bring up a news article I’m pretending to read.
The oracle opens the door, and I turn my head toward him. I expect him to look my way, but he overlooks me entirely as he makes his way back to the lobby. I search through some random news articles a moment longer, and then the confidant comes out of the room. She looks at me.
“Eavesdropping is unbecoming, Rynne,” she says.
“I wasn’t”
“Do not lie,” she says sharply. “Cassius and I both know exactly what you were doing. You needn’t try and hide it.”
“I apologize,” I say, pushing off the wall to stand up straight as I bow my head. “I’ll accept any punishment you deem necessary.”
She puts a hand on my shoulder, but the gesture is harsh. “There’s no need for punishment. You should return to the lobby and support Tasia. She needs you.”
I lift my head and search her deep sea eyes, trying to understand the meaning behind her words.
“She seems to be doing just fine without me,” I say, interested in hearing the confidant’s response. “You feel a difference, don’t you?”
She doesn’t answer. She lets her hand slide off my shoulder as she steps past me, back into the direction of the lobby.
I wonder what that was about.
THERE’S A POUNDING in my skull that won’t stop. It’s barely night, and I’ve made it back to the hunters’ property in Philadelphia with the angel. I would attribute this sickness to all of the terrible relics, herbs, and shit the hunters fortify the area with, but this shooting pain in my skull started before we even got here.
I easily jump over the fence surrounding the property. Imae just lands beside me in some already trampled snow when another angel shows up dressed all in silver.
“He’s okay,” Imae tells the soldier.
I notice he’s the same soldier I had in a choke hold last time I was here. He looks at me nervously, so I give him a wolfish grin in response. Despite my personal discomfort, I must be convincing, because the angel shrinks back.
He dashes on ahead, entering the largest warehouse on the property and the one that acts as the hunter base.
“I don’t think I have to tell you that you should behave yourself,” Imae comments as we continue on at a leisurely pace.
“I’m only here to talk. That was the deal,” I reply snappily. “It was all I wanted in the first place. All of this was unnecessary.”
She shakes her head at me.
I wince as another pain shoots through my head. These angels’ presence amplifies everything repelling evil. All the objects the hunters have are more powerful tonight. Silver crosses are burning in my vision and the smell of garlic makes me want to vomit. It has to be because of the angels. I don’t have any other explanation.
But it doesn’t matter. I’m ready for her. I’m ready for Tasia.
My beast thrums in my chest. It’s full of energy. It wants to see the girl, and it wants to make a good impression. My logician reminds my beast that making a good impression is impossible, regardless of what it wants to believe. We’ve already made a bad impressions on Tasia. She has the worst impression of me she could possibly have. I’ve tried killing her. How much worse can it be? Right. And she also thinks I killed her parents. Perhaps asking me to kill my own kind was some sort of payback in her mind. Too bad for her, I don’t care much for my own kind, but she is dangerous. She somehow got me to do what she wanted. She made me do it. I didn’t want this deal. I wanted everything out in the open. We could’ve talked right then and there, but she didn’t allow it.
Why did I think coming to her was a good idea? My beast hums louder, reminding me of the strange bond I share with the girl. If I can get her on my side, I won’t have to play these angels’ game any longer. If I can get close enough to her, she will be mine. My logician disagrees. The best I can do is destroy this connection binding me to her. This whole thing is temporary. My beast doesn’t agree, but my logician insists the girl has no love for us. I have to play this right.
A small, unassuming door opens for me and the angel, before we’ve even reached it. It lets out a stench of something awful. Rosemary, sage, rue, and so much more I can’t decipher because it’s all concentrated and muddied together. I sneeze.
“Sorry about this,” Imae says. “The main entrance goes through a room filled with herbs and charms. It’s one of the ways the hunters test potential hunters before they are accepted into their ranks.”
“You mean test them to see if they’re demons in disguise,” I sneer and end up sneezing again.
She’s so damn pious. I know there are plenty of other entrances, but if this is the one they want to humiliate me through, so be it. But I won’t let them see me squirm.
I brace myself as my headache grows stronger. I enter the room, and now I really want to vomit. Tasia’s home, where I first met her, the site of her parents’ death, was nothing compared to this. They had herbs, crosses, charms, and all sorts of things that repel evil. It’s true I wasn’t in the same room as all of that shit when I went into her house, and that a lot of it had been thrown around and destroyed, but it hardly bothered me at all compared to what I’m feeling right now. This room is dense with things I hate. The worst part is it’s narrow, making it almost impossible to keep myself from brushing against things. Imae stays walking at the same pace, keeping me trapped behind her when I could have sped out of this room already.
I can’t let them see me squirm.
I breathe in a quiet breath of air after we’ve stepped foot into a large lobby full of way more hunters than were at the base the night of the attack. The place looks like it was never touched. The angels and humans did their job fast. My head is still pounding, but at least being inside the lobby is bearable. The soldier angel that went on ahead shuts the door to the room behind me and Imae, allowing me to feel a little more relief. I guess I’ll have to get used to the itching sensation of this place, though. And maybe this headache. I swear this place never did this to me before.
There are angels scattered about the hunters as well. It has to be all their damn light doing this to me. The humans and angels stare at me. They’re all here because they were obviously waiting for me. Imae called in, saying we’d be returning, but I wasn’t expecting this. Not that I care.
I scan the crowd, interested in only one human that I might find here. I can smell her sweet scent, a
nd then I spot her.
“Tasia,” I whisper under my breath.
“I have brought Arsen back,” Imae announces. “He’s reckless, and he used me as bait, but he technically didn’t allow me to come to any harm.” She says that last part begrudgingly. “He did what he was supposed to do. I witnessed him kill two natural demons.”
“Thank you, Imae,” the oracle replies, stepping out from the crowd.
Seeing Cassius’s face sets me on edge. Why is he spending so much time here all of a sudden? He hardly ever left Ilenima before now. It’s all because of Tasia.
I keep my eyes trained on the girl as she steps forward to stand beside Cassius. She seems different somehow today. It’s the way she walks. She’s not looking down at the ground. She’s looking right at me with hard brown eyes, and she’s doing it confidently. I’d like to see how she would act if she didn’t have Cassius as a shield.
I want to go to her, but my logician provides the restraint I need. Instead, I ask, “Do I have permission to speak with you now, Tasia?”
“Yes,” she says with a nod that’s entirely too carefree. “You can talk. Say what you want to say.”
“I want to talk to you alone,” I say flatly.
“That wasn’t part of the deal. You can talk to me here, in front of everyone.” She gestures to the crowd around us with her hands.
“Sure,” I say, “but what about when we conclude our business? I’m not killing the angels right now because that is part of our deal as well.”
“Are you threatening us?” she asks.
I hesitate. She hasn’t been taking any hints from Cassius today. What’s gotten into her? It’s like she’s become a different person overnight. She’s still Tasia, but without all of the insecurities. It’s peculiar. It even makes my beast unsure.
I shove past Imae and walk straight up to Tasia. She takes a few steps forward as well, so it’s only me and her, standing out among the crowd gathered around us. She doesn’t even flinch when I could reach out and touch her. She still doesn’t flinch when I take a step closer and could easily lean in and kiss her.
The Pull of Destiny (Undying Love, Book 2) Page 19