Faking It

Home > Other > Faking It > Page 5
Faking It Page 5

by Nikki Bella


  “I get to choose what goes in their smoothies? Oh, joy!” Tarquin clapped his hands together in mock delight. “Hmm, is spaghetti a fruit, I wonder…?”

  He made me laugh again. “I think we could have guessed they would have ordered that,” I smiled.

  “Wow, check out Miss Third Stew over here,” teased Tarquin as he dropped some fresh blueberries into his blender. “What makes you think you know so much?”

  “Paul is a professional motorcycle racer, Veronique’s a catwalk model,” I pointed out. “They’re both going to avoid fat and refined sugar as much as possible. Plus, they would be up earlier because they are both used to partying all night and still making early starts. It’s the nature of their businesses.”

  “Never knew you had such a deductive and analytical mind,” said Sarah, without a hint of cattiness. “Go on, then, who will we see next?”

  I thought for a moment. This was an odd skill I’d picked up over the years. It was pretty useless but I liked it when I was right. “Tyler, I reckon,” I predicted, “and soon.”

  “Your hero boyfriend, you mean,” Tarquin tried to torment me, adding some mangos to his mix.

  “Oh, will you shut up?” I squealed at him. He wouldn’t let Tyler’s courageous actions go so, in Tarquin’s mind, we were now some sort of prince charming and damsel in distress.

  “Oh, you know you love it! Anyway, go on.”

  “Tyler will be out soon, by himself. Ada will make an entrance later and it’ll be a proper entrance. She loves to command a room’s attention. Tyler will order coffee but nothing to eat until Henry joins him, which won’t be long after. Guaranteed those two have breakfast at least six days a week together.” I was sounding confident and the other two were more than impressed with her predictions. “Henry’s girlfriend…”

  “Bella,” reminded Sarah over the noise of Tarquin blending up the smoothies.

  “Right. We won’t see her after the fight they had last night. She’s too young and spoilt. Henry will order her banana pancakes but she won’t show up to eat them. He’ll send them to her room but she’ll send them back.”

  “So, I still have to make them?” asked Tarquin.

  “Afraid so,” I nodded.

  “Bollocks.”

  “At the same time, Tyler will have ham, sausage, and scrambled eggs, Henry will have waffles. Both will have orange juice,” I continued.

  Tarquin shook his head at Tanya, pouring the blended fruit cocktail into two tall glasses. “And what of our hip-hop loving guests? D Cash and his two porn-star playmates”

  “Ruby and Britney? We won’t see any of them until lunch is ready.”

  Adam strolled into the galley just as Tarquin handed Sarah the tray with the glasses on. “Here you are, darling, tell them their omelets will be up in a trice.”

  As Sarah headed back up, Adam leaned in closer to me. I hadn’t had a chance to speak to him since our light flirtation the night before the charter. “And how have you been?” he whispered to me with a winning smile.

  “Apart from falling overboard and being hopelessly embarrassed? Just fine, thanks,” I smiled back. Adam was really nice. He was good-looking, honest, and capable of hilarious moments of self-deprecating humor, but I just couldn’t let myself get involved with anyone right now.

  “I heard about that. You know I would have dived right in after you, clothes and all, right?” he said.

  “I know you would,” I smiled back. I gave his firm bicep a loving squeeze. I so wanted him to think of me as more of a friend than a romantic possibility.

  “Misty,” Adam spoke nervously, “after this charter, do you want to, maybe, go for dinner…”

  I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I could say either ‘yes’ or ‘no’, but neither really did me any favors. ‘Yes’ would be leading him on and ‘no’ would just cause friction that I didn’t have the patience for right now. Luckily, before I could answer, in walked Captain Harper.

  “Adam,” he said, “come up to the wheelhouse, please. Tell Keith I need him too. Are you the only steward around at the moment, Misty?”

  I nodded. “The others are busy with breakfast.”

  “Then you had better come too,” he added, before turning on his heel and marching out. Adam followed him, so I hopped down from the counter to follow Adam, only for Tarquin to call me back.

  “Wait, darling,” he whispered to me. “What was all that hush-hush with Adam?”

  “None of your business, luv,” I said, trying to mimic his British accent.

  “But, did he finally say those three little words to you?” hissed Tarquin.

  “Which three little words?” I grinned.

  “Me want sucky…?”

  In his dimly lit, yet elegantly presented wooden-paneled wheelhouse, Captain Harper stared out of his wide forward windows at the horizon. Adam and Keith were there, as was Mr. Harper, the first mate. I didn’t get into this room very often. Stewards and deckhands had no business up here unless we were invited. And we were only invited to be praised for an exceptional job, or fired for misconduct. The captain smiled a welcome to me and motioned for me to sit on the chair next to Adam. I felt nervous, a knot forming in my stomach.

  Since I joined this crew, two months ago, abandoning my position as chief steward on a Mediterranean yacht and flying down here, lying about my years of experience so I wouldn’t be overqualified for the third steward position that was available on Aphrodite, I’d been waiting for the other shoe to drop. Is the jig finally up? I wondered, have I been found out and am about to be fired? If I was, I was pretty sure Adam and especially Keith wouldn’t need to be in the room. I allowed myself to breathe a small sigh of relief at that thought.

  I quickly decided I may have reacted too soon, because I then noticed a looming darkness in the distance, off the port bow. I could see that the normally clear blue skies of the Caribbean were being smothered by black, foreboding clouds that hadn’t been there at dawn.

  “It’s bad news, I’m afraid,” frowned Harper, his English accent making every word seem slightly more ominous than it needed to be, “A storm, of which we had no idea was headed this way, switched its trajectory in from the Atlantic and is now aimed right at us. Whatever we decide to do, Misty, the guests are going to be having an indoor day today, and it might even be a rough ride. Can you brief the other stewards?”

  I nodded to him.

  “Aruba is sixty miles southeast of us, through the storm, Cap’n,” said Adam, looking at the satellite map on the monitor.

  “He’s right,” agreed Harper. “We’ll never make it if we try to head home.”

  “And even if we did make it to port and try to ride it out,” pointed out Keith, “that’s exactly where the weather will be at its worst.”

  “So, we don’t head back to port,” I said, more to myself than anyone else. The assembled men turned toward me.

  “Go on,” said Harper.

  “There’s an atoll, five miles west, it has a bay facing away from the storm. It’ll give us some shelter if it does get this far,” I told him, pointing it out on the map.

  “She’s right,” smiled Harper. “We might get some thunder, lightning, and rain, but we’ll be out of the worst of the wind and waves. Good thinking, Misty.”

  “How did you know about the island?” asked Adam.

  “We passed it two charters ago. I thought it was pretty,” I giggled. He didn’t need to know that you pick up certain things after seven years as cabin crew.

  “Well, it falls to me to deliver the bad news to the primary charter. Let the rest of the crew know what to expect, will you,” instructed the captain, “Everyone else, to your stations. I think we have about two hours.”

  I headed back below to give Sarah and Tanya our orders, and together we started trying to work out how to we were going to keep nine wealthy clients, none of them used to being told they can’t do anything, entertained while we all waited out a hurricane.

  “Toga par
ty!” suggested Tanya. That was pretty much her go-to plan for any eventuality but, for once, Sarah and I thought it might not be the worst idea for this group. “Seriously?” Tanya looked stunned that we’d listened to her. “I was joking! You realize a toga party with this group is likely to turn into an orgy, based on yesterday’s sundeck action.”

  “That’s their business,” said Sarah in her usual ‘seen-it-all-before’ fashion. “The deckhands will be nearby in case things get out of hand. Together I’m sure they could even handle D Cash if we needed them to.”

  “I was more worried about Misty, TBH,” Tanya smirked. “How do we know she’s going to be able to control herself once her hero starts dancing around naked? Just remember, sexy, all it takes is one quick face-ride to earn you your ticket home!”

  “Bitch!” I snapped, slapping her playfully on the arm. “Like you wouldn’t bend over for D Cash if he handed you a diamond necklace!”

  “Hey, I may be a slut but I do have standards,” cried Tanya, defensively, “I’d need matching earrings!”

  “Okay,” appealed Sarah. “Can we focus, please?” Tanya and I tried to pull ourselves together. “However, Misty, you were wrong about the breakfasts.”

  “No way!” I was shocked.

  “Yes way,” Sarah continued. “Tyler had bacon, not ham.”

  Tyler

  When the captain came by with his unfortunate announcement, I can’t say I was too annoyed. Most of the ladies were upset, no doubt looking forward to another day of baking in the glorious sunshine, and a couple of the younger ones, the sultry Latino Bella and D Cash’s slim blonde Britney especially, seemed to be acting like the captain was deliberately being no fun, perhaps creating this bad weather just to upset their plans.

  I could tell, though, Harper clearly had years of practice in dealing with petulant one-percenters and was able to calmly pacify them, reassuring everyone present that things would return to normal as soon as possible. His quiet yet firm voice and pleasant demeanor did the trick and he promised the stewards would try extra hard to ensure we all had a great time. As he spoke, the skies darkened noticeably and a distant rumble of thunder added some extra weight to his argument, and he quickly excused himself so he could pilot us to safety.

  Only minutes later, the stewards appeared. All three came in full of smiles and energy, joined by the cute little deckhand, Azure, and holding champagne bottles and glasses. I could feel Ada’s eyes on me as Misty came in last, and I was painfully aware that all four girls, this time, wore only white sheets wrapped carefully around their slim and shapely bodies. Wolf whistles filled the air. Each girl had their hair piled and pinned high on top of their heads, were liberally covered in shimmering golden glitter, and had used a kind of gold paint to draw some ancient pagan symbols on their faces.

  “Nobly gathered Gods and Goddesses,” announced Misty. She’d never looked more stunning, the gold flecks in her hair and glistening on her skin, the golden lipstick and eyeshadow she had used to highlight her beautiful features. She actually does look like a goddess, just like she did in my dream, I thought. She’d clearly drawn the role of compare in this little skit. “Now our Lord Neptune has departed to shelter us from the storm, allow me to introduce your hostesses for the afternoon.” I could see she was quite at home, playacting like this.

  The other girls were bringing in more white, rolled up sheets. “Before you, I stand as Juno, queen and goddess of the sky,” Misty continued, taking a bow. “While this delightful creature is Diana, goddess of the hunt” she pointed at Azure, who produced a small plastic bow and arrow as proof. “To my left is the mythical goddess of love, Aphrodite,” Misty indicated Tanya, who raised up to her full height and mimicked the goddess’s pose on her clamshell, from the famous Botticelli nude. “And last,” Misty introduced Sarah, “Athena, the fearsome goddess of war and wisdom. Try not to piss her off.” Sarah waved a plastic sword fiercely. There was laughter all around.

  Some of the other guests were already tying sheets around themselves as togas, while I took the offered champagne. Even Henry and Bella were smiling at each other as she stripped down to a bikini and he helped her cover herself with a sheet. D Cash barely moved, but his eyes widened as more of the girls decided to discard their shirts and tops to wear the togas more comfortably.

  Ada confidently and expertly coiled the white material around her shapely body before shimmying out of her sun shorts, cleverly keeping her underwear hidden from view, then laying a long, bare, and beautifully shaped leg across my lap. I smiled up at her but shook my head as she offered a sheet for me to wear.

  “The nymphs are prepared?” I heard Misty ask in a regal tone.

  “All set,” Sarah called back, as she struggled to pin a tight sheet in place around Ruby’s impressive bust.

  “Then we must anoint our gods.” Misty continued. The other three staff produced golden wreaths and stepped toward the male guests. Azure walked solemnly up to Paul and placed her wreath on his head. “Mercury,” said Misty, “the fastest of all the gods.” He beamed a smile around the room, happy with his title.

  Tanya approached D Cash. “Vulcan,” called Misty, “god of fire and symbol of male virility.” D Cash threw up a gang sign as Tanya crowned him and quietly acknowledged his fertility symbol status.

  “Pluto,” announced Misty, as Sarah placed her golden wreath on Henry’s head, “god of wealth and the underworld. Bella laughed and shoved him, knocking his leafy crown off. I couldn’t help a chuckle as he scrabbled around on the floor looking for it. The staff had clearly put a lot of thought into this party.

  “And finally,” I couldn’t help my eyes widening a touch as Misty singled me out and approached. My heart was thumping in my chest as she came, looking me straight in the eye. “My king of the gods with the power of the thunderbolt.” My mouth was dry and my skin felt like it was sizzling. Why did this seem to mean so much? All I had running through my head was the image of her kissing me, last night.

  Misty raised her hands to crown me but Ada stopped her. She looked petrified as her gaze jumped to my girlfriend. Ada smiled a polite smile at her, then gently took the wreath and placed it on my head herself. “Jupiter,” Misty finished, looking as though she finally let out the breath she was holding. Incredibly, thunder crashed in the distance, adding some dramatic meaning to my anointment and causing a gentle laugh all around. “That was supposed to happen,” grinned Misty, regaining some composure and getting a bigger laugh. I looked around the room at all the others. I was the only one still wearing a shirt and pants, but I was determined to stay that way.

  I tried to catch Misty’s eye again. I just wanted some acknowledgment of the kiss from her but, frustratingly, she seemed always busy. I thought I managed to get a quick smile from her at one point, but it vanished just as fleetingly as Henry asked her for more champagne.

  Aphrodite seemed to be moving along at a brisk pace now, while rain had begun to lash at the windows. Inside the main guest lounge, however, we were being served lunch. The chef had originally prepped an exotic seafood salad, with crab, oysters, shrimp, and lobster but, considering the weather, at the last minute, he paired it with a thick, fish-based soup with plenty of cream, to keep everyone a little warmer. It was so successful, I asked Tarquin to come up personally so everyone could all thank him.

  As the afternoon wore on, even once we were moored and sheltering in a secluded bay, Aphrodite was suffering through some choppy waters. The girls kept the party going, but playing twister as the boat lurched from side to side made it a fight for anyone trying to maintain any dignity. Paul and D Cash mainly seemed to be entertaining themselves as spectators, enjoying the view as Veronique, Ruby, Britney, and Bella, only wrapped in short togas, bent over and around each other and left very little to the two guys’ imaginations.

  Henry looked pretty green around the gills for most of the afternoon. The poor guy was not enjoying the rough seas. Ada and I sat at the bar again. However, when Ada finally excused herself,
I saw Misty hand the spinning pointer over to Tanya and make her way over to refill my glass.

  “I’ve been longing to talk to you,” I whispered as she poured more scotch. “It’s been so hard, though.”

  She smiled back at me. “It’s okay, we don’t need to talk.”

  “What do you mean? You kissed me, Misty!” I hissed, a little too loudly.

  Misty looked around the room. Thankfully no one seemed to have heard me. “Please don’t,” she pleaded. “I’ll lose my job.”

  “I’m sorry,” I told her. I didn’t want to get her in trouble. I just liked her and I felt like she liked me too. “It’s just… I can’t stop thinking about it…” About you, I was going to say. I opened my mouth to tell her, only there was a sudden and almighty crash right above us, and it felt like the world was ending.

  I had no idea what was happening. I heard a colossal bang, followed by a loud shattering of glass. Then screams. I looked over to see guests and staff alike diving for cover as broken glass rained down on the whole lounge.

  I had only an instant to react. I didn’t think, I just leaped over the bar, grabbing Misty as I flew through the air and taking us both toward the back wall. I couldn’t stop myself landing prone on her but, at least, I could use my body to keep her shielded from anything that might come down on us. We lay still, silently staring into each other’s eyes as I sensed sparks flashing around us and felt pieces of glass bouncing off my back. It was intense. Neither of us knew if this was about to be our last second alive. I wanted to kiss her again. In that moment, about to die, it was all I could think about.

  “Is everyone okay?” I heard Sarah’s strong voice, after what seemed like an eternity. All the commotion had died down. Alarms were going off across the boat and I looked up to see Azure gather up her toga and run to help the other deckhands. Fortunately, it seemed the glass that formed the skylights in the lounge was made of that toughened safety glass and we now seemed to be surrounded by small, ragged, marble-like pieces capable of doing us no more harm than a little light hail so, happily, there were no injuries more serious than a couple of bruises.

 

‹ Prev