by Matt Troy
"You know Naomi?" The intonation of Ree's voice was a little weird, but I couldn't work out what was wrong with it. Another shrug seemed to be my best option.
"Not really, that's sort of the whole point of me being here," I explained, neatly leaving out the fact that only twenty-four hours earlier she had been nothing more than a badly written character in an equally badly written book. I glanced over at Ree, hoping her expression might explain the strange note in her voice, but she was staring fixedly at Callum.
Either unaware, or uncaring about my stare, Ree addressed Callum in a quiet voice. "So it's all still going ahead then?"
Callum turned to study the entrance with affected disinterest. "Well it's not like there's any reason for it not to, right?"
Ree blushed and looked at her knees. "I guess not," she muttered. Then remembering my presence, she turned to me with another big grin. "Is Naomi looking forward to the wedding?"
I shrugged. "No idea. I haven't seen either her or William since I got here." Seeing the question that was forming on Ree's lips, I quickly waved my hand again. "And I'm in no rush to. I'd rather unwind a little first. Getting here was unusually stressful" I made a big show of relaxing only to spring upright as the next song started. "Tapping the Vein? I've died and gone to heaven."
No doubt about it, Callum was definitely regarding me in a less hostile fashion. I felt absurdly pleased and then realised how much easier stalking him was going to be if he was going to turn out to have the same interests as me. "Bit of a fan, are you?"
"How could you not be?" I countered, now talking music and therefore oblivious to the fact that a few hours earlier I would have quite happily punched guy. "Listen to that voice … she's amazing."
"You should hear Kidney thieves," Callum commented.
"Already have, had to download their stuff though as it's not been released in the UK," I informed him and was rewarded with another of those slight curves of his mouth which might have been a smile.
Beside us, Ree pretended to pout. "And now I have no idea what you guys are talking about," she complained with a roll of her eyes that ground to a halt when she noticed the large clock. "Is that the time? Hell, I'm supposed to pick Alex up."
"Thanks again for showing me this place," I told her with a grin, before an idea sent me rummaging in my bag. "Hey, you don't have a mobile number, do you?"
Ree blinked for a moment. "Huh? Oh, you mean my cell? Sure." We swapped numbers and promised to meet up again so she could show me some other places around town. Then Ree climbed out of her seat and surprised me by hugging Callum goodbye before making her way outside.
Without Ree's mediating presence, I was temporarily struck for something to say. Callum seemed to be in much the same situation. We were both saved from embarrassment when the phone in my hands trilled loudly. I glanced at the caller display and winced. Carly. I had to be in some kind of trouble.
I accepted the call and raised the phone to my ear. "Hi Carly."
"What kind of a greeting was that PG? Where's the enthusiasm?"
I growled. "Don't call me that. Why are you ringing me anyway?"
"Oh this is just charming. I don't have to listen to this you know. I've got a good mind to just hang up on your grumpy self and leave you in the lurch tonight."
"Carly," I sighed. "Get to the phone or I really will hang up … hang on. What was that about leaving me in the lurch?"
"Oh, now you want to know…"
"Carly…"
"Fine. Fine. Blake, darling, you really need to lighten up a little. Following killers is obviously affecting your personality."
I rubbed my forehead, aware that Callum seemed to be watching with great amusement. "Is there a point to this?"
"Huh? Oh, right. Well Kate and Matt met up with Naomi and William and as far as that couple are concerned, we're some sort of cousins that have travelled over for the wedding."
"Well that's nice to know. Thanks for telling me that."
"And Matt decided to work this angle so we could keep a better eye on them and now we're staying at the house."
"Uh-huh. Right. Okay …. Sorry, what?"
"We're already moved all our stuff, so you don't need to worry about heading back to the motel. Spiffy, isn't it?"
I hung up and turned to face Callum. "It appears I'm now your houseguest."
I swear the guy leered.
Alright; so I'd always suspected my friends were sadistic arseholes, but never before had it been proved to me quite so conclusively. At the moment I was stood in a rather lavish guest-room staring blankly at the four people who seemed to conspire to make things as awkward as possible for me. And the only reason for my blank expression was due to me not being able to decide on disbelief, shock, self-pity or homicidal rage. I had the feeling I was veering towards the last option.
"Let me get this absolutely straight," I said again for the umpteenth time. "Kate and Carly are meant to be cousins of Naomi."
Carly, the ringleader for sure, grinned and nodded as she redid one of her braids. "Yup, we figured any more of us claiming to be relations would be pushing plausibility and anyway, she seemed to recognise us."
I nodded. "And so what are the rest of us doing here with you?"
"Well, Matt is quite obviously my boyfriend," Kate began in a somewhat apologetic manner that really wasn't helping me feel any better about this. "And Keiran seemed to latch onto the idea and claimed to be dating Carly."
Keiran nodded and grinned. "What can I say? I got a thing for the braids."
I waved a hand. "If I wanted to know about your kinks, I would ask. Where do I fit in?"
Carly clapped her hands together and leaned forwards. "You, my darling Blakey-boy are our oldest childhood friend and official, parental-approved chaperone! We told Naomi it was the only way we would be allowed to travel with our boyfriends."
I made a strangled croak. "But … chaperone makes me sound like a monk," I grumbled. I was fully aware that this was a feeble protest, but it was all my brain could come up with at the moment. I guess I was still in shock or some shit.
Keiran gave me a look that was almost evil enough to pass as one of Carly's expressions. "Ah, well if that's what you're worried about, there's no need. Carly came up with a whole back-story for you at dinner."
"She did…?"
Carly nodded again, positively bouncing on the bed. "Sure did! I told Naomi all about how you were here to heal your broken heart and put some distance between you and your ex."
Okay, so I'd suspected there was reason to be afraid, but now I was learning far more than I wanted to know. "You guys made up a back-story for me without even informing me? And what's this about dinner?"
Kate patted me on the arm. "Blake, sweetie, you're pouting again. We did text you about dinner but you never replied. Where were you anyway?"
Drinking coffee and discussing music with the psycho-boy, I thought but surprising enough decided not to share. Instead I shrugged. "I don't know. Hanging around. Doing that whole surveillance thing you tossers are so keen on."
"Language, Blake," Matt warned. "Anyway the back-story thing was supposed to cover your absences and why you only ever went out alone unlike the rest of us who are doing this whole shift thing. We didn't want the Norringtons to think you were engaged in dubious activities or something."
"Although," Carly added thoughtfully. "It might have endeared you to Callum. You know, given the pair of you some common ground."
"Do you want me to watch the guy or date him?" I asked in as biting a tone as I could manage.
"Well dating him would give you a reason to hang out with him," Kate admitted. "But I think he'd be a bad influence on you. As bad as some of your past exes have been, none of them have stooped quite so low as fratricide."
I glowered. "There's never been anything wrong with the people I dated. Thank you."
Almost on queue everyone else burst into laughter. "Oh come on mate," Keiran said with a roll of his eyes. "What about that w
annabe vampire guy?"
"He was a little eccentric, true…"
"The guy had porcelain fangs shipped over from the fucking States! He only ever drank red wine and tomato juice!"
"Okay, so he got a little carried away in the end," I conceded. "I'd already dumped him at that point. But he was normal when I met him."
"I hear he's working in Tescos," Kate chipped in. "The meat counter."
"Ewwwww," Carly squealed, falling backwards and kicking her feet in the air. "Him and dead animals? That's just wrong."
"And then what about that girl who looked like a human pin-cushion?" Matt added, clearly enjoying this latest attack on poor defenceless me.
"I was drunk!" I bellowed. "Remember, you were the one who told the DJ it was the twins' birthday to get the free champagne! Anyway, I wanted to know what it was like to kiss someone with a tongue piercing…"
"Excuses, excuses," Keiran sighed. "But with your history dating Callum wouldn't be that much of a stretch for you."
I glowered. "Don't give me ideas. Maybe after he's finished slicing up his brother, he'll be willing to help me dispose of you lot."
I was promptly buried under a pile of squealing Carly as she flung herself at me in a flood of mock tears. "Blakey! Don't say thing like that! You'll make us think that you don't love, adore and cherish us."
"We're getting off topic," Matt noticed, only a touch too late. "Anyway, we told the Norringtons and Naomi that you were dating this guy and you thought it was The Real Thing."
"But he turned out to be a wanker and broke your heart by running off with someone else," Carly informed me. "A girl."
I rolled my eyes. "And they actually believed that pile of crap?"
"You should be grateful, Carly was originally going to say he cheated on you with your sister," Keiran informed me.
I looked at Carly in disbelief as the blonde hauled herself off me and sat up in a defensive position. "Well it would have explained why he wanted to leave the country," she objected.
"Couldn't I just have a love of travel?" I suggested wearily. All I received in return was a collection of blank looks. My friends. Never ones to think of a plausible excuse when there was the chance to embarrass their supposed mate. I sighed and tried to get back to business. "Well what have we found out so far? Is anything beginning to make sense?"
"Well, there's certainly no love lost between Callum and his family," Kate informed me as she sank down onto a corner of the bed. "He also didn't show up for dinner this evening."
I nodded and decided not to tell them that was because he'd been playing pool with me. As I decided earlier, it would only give them the wrong idea.
"Yeah, Mr Norrington, William and Callum's father, didn't even comment on it," Matt added. "So I guess it's a case of mutual dislike. William and Naomi were really talkative though."
"William's nice, if a bit dim," Carly told me. "He just doesn't seem very aware of the here and now. But then again, Naomi's just as bad so it's a good match."
"She must be smarter than she appears or we wouldn't have been able to lift the book," I reflected. "Well either that or the killer does a tearful confession right in front of her." Something from the afternoon made me trail off as I remembered the odd way Ree had asked if I knew Naomi. And then there had been that question about the wedding that Callum hadn't seemed willing to answer. Maybe there was something in that; I'd have to look into it.
The others didn't seem to have noticed my little lapse into thoughtfulness as they continued to discuss possible means and methods. Carly was pumping for a dramatic showdown just before the wedding involving the knife used to cut the cake, but when pressed couldn't find any motivation other than 'well it sounds dramatic'.
"Callum isn't much of a drama queen," I informed her, cutting that idea down dead. "How many of the sullen, brooding types do you know that are also given to overblown theatrical gestures?"
"Well that vampire boyfriend of yours for one…"
"Thank you, but the brooding thing was just part of the act," I gritted out.
Kate shrugged. "Well you're the one who's been trying to follow the guy all day. How do you think he's going to do it?"
I shrugged. "With the candlestick in the Conservatory. I don't know! How the hell am I meant to form an in-depth psychological profile on someone I didn't even know existed twenty-four hours ago?"
"As quickly as possible," Keiran told me with a smirk. "So what are you planning to do tomorrow?"
I sighed. "Buy some poi and raise money by doing tricks in the park."
Carly the poi master of the group and my part-time mentor sniggered. "Then when you inevitably brain yourself, Callum can kiss your boo boo."
I glared at her. "I'm not that bad. I've been practising."
Carly wasn't impressed. "Your co-ordination, rhythm and timing all suck." She sighed and turned away to address the world in general. "This is why virgins shouldn't do poi."
Sensing that my fuse was rapidly running out, Kate began to tug on Carly's arm. "Well, we'd all better turn in for the night. They're expecting us down for breakfast at half seven, ok Blake? We'll see you then." With a smile, she was out the door, dragging her evil twin behind her.
Keiran slapped me on the shoulder as he made his way out. "She's been on the sugar all night, mate. Don't worry about it."
Matt joined him on his way out with a friendly wave back at me. "Yeah, at least you've never set fire to your back and had to be dumped in the sea."
That memory brought a smirk back to my face and I was able to return Matt's wave. "Yeah. I'll see your sorry arses tomorrow."
Turning back into the room I looked at the rumpled sheets on my bed and realised that in all the time Carly had been rolling around on it, she hadn't bothered to remove her boots. Maybe I really should start looking into if Callum was interested in becoming a serial killer.
THE END
(FREE BOOK)
THRILLER
KILL OR BE KILLED
The Erotic Flashback.
He was certainly a mercenary, he had this particular swagger, this incredible poise, even when crossing the river banks or hacking through jungles sweating out his guts.
Captain ‘Killer’ Kelly had followed him for six miles through the night. Across the river bank, through a section of the Singha Raja Forest; now he was resting, getting his breath in short, gasping snorts preparatory to traverse the home stretch.
Home of Praba, the Satan of war, the vicious terrorist whose religion was taking lives, the shedding of blood, the stirring of maniacal passion in men who would be far better off home screwing their wives, tilling their fields drinking their Palmyra palm toddy, loving their children.
The mercenaries were the left hand of this fanatic who loved war above everything and who lived in ultimate comfort and protection and seclusion among his fellow fanatics deep in the jungle.
It was captain ‘killer’ Kelly’s job to bring the man out from his jungle lair. To topple the mad men. To eliminate the rebel group, to educate the mad-man’s followers or kill them, to bring peace once again to Elephant pass and peace to the northern province.
Captain Kelly’s job for the moment was to topple Selva a petty chief and the eastern province war lord.
As a highly trained commando his mission was to penetrate deep into the jungle where the terrorist were taking refuge and also terrorizing the innocent indigenous people living there. His job as a sniper was to bring the leader of a small group of terrorists from his jungle lair.
To eliminate this despot. His superiors threw the challenge on their faces and as none was prepared to volunteer, captain Kelly, like the ass hole he was volunteered least expecting that the mission would be a one man show. If he had known what he learned, he probably wouldn’t have spoken too soon, but now it was too late. He knew he had a great deal more to learn, all of it bad, he was to live off the land alone and confront a small group of terrorists armed to the teeth. What he didn’t know was how many were there
in this particular group. He was dropped off at the edge of the jungle and from there he was on my own.
In his camouflage kit he increased his pace, sweating like a eunuch with an erection trying to find cover quick. He checked his weaponry. He had his AK47 hanging lose by its strap around his neck along with a long barreled sniping rifle with a silencer fixed, there were a couple of grenades, there was a Rambo knife strapped on the inner side of his left thigh almost touching his testicles a long machete on his hip and a somewhat primitive weapon, a small but sophisticated cross bow and arrows. In short he was a walking arsenal.
With stealth he penetrated the jungle and stood near a trail, behind some low grown trees, keeping an eye out for his unseen foes. He saw a shadow of a moment and stood dead still and saw a terrorist, he was so sure of himself he did not bother about stealth, he acted as if it was his domain. Kelly let him pass him and trailed him about one hundred yards behind. He was making his way towards a small mud thatched house of one of the indigenous people.
There was a feminine scream that rent the quite jungle night, it told him one thing, and only one, and the indigenous old man had a daughter. The terrorist knew about her. He had stopped for fun and frolic, and she was not interested. The terrorists advances had failed to charm the lass.
Kelly gripped the crossbow tight and dashed noiselessly towards the house; He armed the crossbow with an arrow. Time was important, but silence was vital. There was a whole group of terrorist lurking in the area. One shot and the sound would bring the whole damned lot on his trail. Screams, especially feminine ones, did not send them crashing out of their jungle hideout. Feminine screams had been rather commonplace in this vicinity.
They would never become commonplace with him. His batman had told him once, “Sir, you will never fall prey to the real enemy. You will get yours, sir, on the trail of a woman’s skirt.” The women he played around with, he visualized one woman with whom he had spent a week back. Kelly had met her at the officers mess, after a few rounds of drinks the lady had invited him to her home, which he accepted gladly. She was the wife of another officer who was engaged in the combat area. Since the reason for the invitation was quite obvious no sooner than Kelly reached the lady’s home, her name being Judy. Kelly pulled Judy to him and undid the band at her waist slipped her dress over her shoulders and let it slip to the floor. She gasped and bent down. Kelly thought she was going to retrieve her dress instead; she was fumbling with his pant.