by Cat Schield
“It’s…”
She broke off as he trailed his tongue along the edge of her panties. Sliding his hands down her legs, he gripped her behind the thighs and bent her knees until her feet were flat on the mattress. Every movement caused an escalation in the commotion inside her. Her fingers gripped the sheet beneath her. She’d never had anyone kiss her there.
“I’ll go slowly,” he told her, capturing her gaze. “You tell me when to stop.”
Stop?
It was glorious to watch his pleasure in her body’s every reaction. How could she possibly stop him from indulging his power over her? Helplessly, she waited, her breath shallow and ragged as his warm breath washed over her. And then he pressed a kiss there and a strangled groan broke from her throat. She was lost as the bold stroke of his tongue licked over her. Her hips bucked. A wild laugh erupted from her tight chest.
“Stop?” He ceased all movement.
She wanted to weep with longing. “Don’t…”
“More?”
Amusement edged his tone. Part of her recognized she should be angry with him for taunting her, but she was on the edge of something glorious and devastating.
“Yes.”
“It would be easier if I took these off.” He hooked his fingers in her panties and tugged.
She lifted her hips. “Do it.”
The fabric skimmed off her body far too slowly. Bella’s head thrashed from side to side as she felt the air hit her overheated flesh. With her eyes closed, it felt safer. She could pretend it was anyone between her thighs, but the second Blake spoke, she became grounded in the moment once more.
“I’m going to kiss you now.” But he didn’t immediately follow through with his promise. Bella’s heart thumped hard against her ribs as she waited. “Care to watch?”
Enticed by the question, her lashes drifted upward. He was waiting for her. He wanted her to see what he intended to do. Bella shuddered at the intensity in his eyes, but couldn’t look away as his tongue stroked against her.
She cried out, an incoherent sound barely loud enough to escape the confines of the bed. Blake’s gaze electrified her. His kiss set her ablaze. He was thorough. Each wet circle of his tongue sent her spiraling higher. The ache in her belly coiled into a tight knot. Her world shrank to the feel of Blake’s mouth on her and the rapid approach of cresting pleasure.
Her hips rose off the mattress, frantically searching for the fulfillment that eluded her. She was whimpering, her breath coming in erratic and short bursts.
“Let go,” he urged. “Come for me.”
And then she felt the slide of his finger inside her. The penetration touched off her orgasm and her spine bowed as she exploded like a firework, splintering into a million hot shards before returning to earth in a gentle waterfall.
*
Bella’s cries were the sweetest music Blake had ever heard. Beneath him she continued to tremble in the aftermath of her powerful orgasm. At long last her lashes fluttered and her gaze focused on him. There was such wonder in the much-washed blue of her eyes. Blake’s heart clenched.
“That was amazing,” she murmured.
He kissed his way up her body until he reached her mouth. “There’s more to come,” he murmured against her lips.
Bella coasted her fingertips over his lower lip before settling her palm against his cheek. Her gentle touch was as much about claiming him as surrendering to his will.
“I’m glad.”
Moving quickly, he stripped off his pants and rolled on a condom. Her arms came around him as he rejoined her on the bed. Where a second earlier her body had been limp and sated, as he positioned himself between her thighs and sucked her nipple between his lips, she became a living flame once more. Her fingers wandered across his shoulders and down his spine. The scratch of her nails along his sides startled him.
Before he could ask her if she wanted to stop, she spoke.
“Enough with the preliminaries. I need to feel you inside me.”
She bumped her hips upward, nudging his erection and making him quake with yearning. Never one to keep a woman waiting, he positioned himself at her entrance and claimed her mouth in a long, deep kiss. Then he thrust gently. She was so wet and aroused that he was nearly seated all the way in before he stopped himself. After a brief pause to gather much-needed air, he began moving with a smooth rocking motion that she matched as fluidly as if they’d made love a thousand times.
The ease of their connection caught Blake by surprise. It occurred to him that he knew Bella well and at the same time didn’t know her at all. From the first she’d intrigued him. Later, her contrary behavior had frustrated him. There was so much yet to discover about her. So many unanswered questions. And he would have most of the summer to ferret them out.
“Blake.” Her clutching fingers told him she was close to another climax.
He’d been distracting his mind to prolong their encounter, but as her nails dug into his back and her cries grew more frantic, Blake loosened the hold on his willpower and thrust powerfully into her. Capturing her pleasure in a hot, demanding kiss, he slipped his hand between their bodies and touched the knot of nerves that would send her spinning into another orgasm.
As her body contracted, he let his own climax catch him. With a final thrust, he buried his face in her neck and gave her everything. Shuddering, his arm muscles unable to support him any longer, he collapsed on her.
“Now, that was amazing,” he said, chest heaving as he struggled to recover.
Eyes glowing with contentment, Bella parted her lips to respond, but before she could, a cry erupted from beyond the room. Recognizing the quality of the cry, Blake nevertheless willed his son back to sleep. It was a fruitless proposition.
Another unhappy wail filtered in from the nursery, this one of longer duration than the last. Drew didn’t sound as if he was going to settle down on his own.
Blake put his forehead against Bella’s shoulder and heaved a sigh. “I’d better get him.”
“Let me.”
With an abrupt shake of his head, Blake pushed away from her warm, silken skin, grinding his teeth as he was pummeled by the room’s cool air. “I’ve been through this with him. I’ll have an easier time getting him back to sleep.” He covered her with the sheet and bent down to buss her cheek. “Sleep.”
“Sure.” She gave him an uncertain smile.
Blake’s movements felt jerky and uncoordinated as he slid back into his clothes. His muscles hadn’t fully recovered from the mind-blowing sex with Bella. He cast a final look her way before he headed for the doorway. What he saw gave him pause.
If not for his son’s escalating distress, Blake would have lingered to reassure Bella that he too had been affected by the power of what had happened between them. The last thing he wanted with any woman was to take her to a vulnerable place and abandon her there. He sensed Bella wasn’t the sort of woman who took sex lightly.
Which meant leaving her so soon after being intimate would undo some of the rapport they’d established. She’d had her doubts earlier, but he’d been able to reassure her. Abandoning her in his bed would give her ample time to reestablish her defenses.
But there was nothing to do about that. His son needed him. It was something Bella understood. She’d often put her family’s needs above her own; it was a big part of what appealed to him about her. On the other hand, when she’d decided to cut off all ties with Drew, she’d demonstrated that like his ex-wife, she had a selfish side.
And what of his decision a mere three hours ago not to complicate their relationship by acting on his desire for her? He certainly hadn’t been thinking about what was best for his son while he made love to her. What he needed was a mother for Drew. Bella wasn’t interested in the role.
So why had he felt compelled to have her spend part of the summer with them? Had he hoped if she spent time with Drew her maternal instincts would awaken?
When he got to the nursery, Blake lifted his son into h
is arms and rocked him the way he knew Drew loved. Almost immediately the infant’s cries waned. He met Drew’s eyes and felt peace wash through him. He wanted the world for his son, but right now he would settle for a mother who would love him with her whole heart.
Which was why making love to Bella tonight had been a mistake. They could no longer pretend to be simply boss and employee. But he couldn’t promise to keep his hands off her in the future. He’d told Jeanne he intended to put Drew first the next time he married. Getting involved with a woman who didn’t want to be a mother ran contrary to that determination. But being with her felt so right. What the hell was he supposed to do?
Seven
Abandoned in Blake’s enormous bed, Bella pressed a pillow against her stomach and curved her naked body around it, coiling herself into a tight ball. The instant he’d left the room, her sense of belonging had vanished with him.
Earlier, while Blake was dining with his stepsister, she’d glanced into the master bedroom. Residual traces of Victoria—like the photographs in the living room—lingered in the large, beautifully decorated space. Blake’s ex-wife remained a presence in the house, and Bella felt like an imposter. An interloper. Had she really just made love to Blake?
The riotous sensations still buffeting her body as well as the residual tingle left behind by the imprint of Blake’s lips told her she had stepped across a line. And now that she’d left footprints in forbidden territory, there was no taking it back. But was that what she wanted? To unmake the memories of the past hour?
Bella rubbed her hot cheeks against the cool sheets. Nothing could have prepared her for the explosive quality of Blake’s mouth on her body. The things he’d done. No one had ever kissed her like that before. Done things to her body that made her go wild. To say they were unmatched in experience was woefully inadequate. She’d had so much to learn. Tonight it had been all she could do just to hang on for dear life as he took her on an epic ride. In the aftermath, she recognized that a man as sophisticated as Blake would expect his lover to match him in skill and knowledge.
Through the door Blake had closed behind him, Bella could hear Drew’s continuing cries. The instinct to go to him thundered through her. He was her baby. Comforting him was her job. Her responsibility.
Except that it wasn’t. Drew belonged to Blake. And in a way, to Victoria. She might have abandoned him, but as far as the world knew, Blake’s ex-wife was his mother. Bella was just someone who’d acted as a surrogate. A living incubator. Well paid and insignificant the second Drew was born.
But his cries tore at her. No matter how hard she tried to be sensible, the need to cuddle him until his tears dried up was so much more compelling than her desire to be free of responsibility. The war between her brain and her emotions was leaving her confidence in tatters. Her doubts about the choices she’d made about Drew were growing stronger day by day.
As Bella threw back the covers, the house went silent. She held her breath, waiting for the cries to start again, but no sound stirred. Far from anything resembling sleepiness, Bella dressed and eased out of the room. Drew’s door was shut, but a faint light glimmered beneath. Tiptoeing forward, she drew close and heard Blake’s deep voice. He was telling Drew a story, his tone pitched to engage an infant.
Reluctant to enter the nursery and disturb what Blake had accomplished, Bella retreated toward her room, but instead of heading inside, she took the stairs to the first floor.
In bare feet she was able to move soundlessly across the polished wood floor of the living room. Drawn by the light of the moon, she crossed to the windows that overlooked the ocean. Snagging a throw from a nearby chair, she wrapped it around her shoulders before letting herself out the door.
A wide porch stretched across the back half of the house, offering a place to rest and enjoy the view. White wood lounge chairs covered with thick, cobalt-blue cushions were scattered here and there. Straight ahead a wide set of steps led to an expansive lawn. At the far end, a boardwalk split the vegetation capping the low dunes lining the beach. A light wind carried the sound of the surf to Bella’s ears. She headed down the steps and across the lawn.
From her first glimpse at the ocean last summer, it had been love at first sight. Everything about the beach had fascinated her, from the birds to the myriad of trinkets left behind by the tide to the pulse of the ocean itself. With her toes gripping the sand, she’d stared at the horizon and pulled the briny air into her lungs, letting the sights, sounds and smells fill her with peace.
She’d been close to her due date and riddled with doubts that she was doing the right thing by herself and her son. She’d hoped that spending a couple weeks with Blake and Victoria and seeing their eagerness to be parents would enable her to set aside her misgivings. The beach had settled her anxiety and allowed her to gain perspective.
By the end of the first week, she’d accepted that the baby she carried would be brought up by loving parents who could provide everything he could ever want or need. At peace with her decision to help Blake and Victoria, she’d given birth to Drew and walked out of the hospital, never imagining that she’d see him again.
Yet here she was nine months later, taking care of Drew once more, pretending that a conflict wasn’t raging inside her. Once again grappling to make sense of what her heart wanted versus what she believed would make her happy. In the long run she knew being a mom would only make her resentful, yet every fiber of her being longed for Drew. And after what had happened between her and Blake tonight, she yearned for him, as well.
It would be so easy to surrender her heart to them. Equal parts charming and aggravating, they’d slipped beneath her skin in a disturbingly short period of time. She had no trouble imagining herself becoming a part of their lives. Taking care of them. Falling into a routine that would leave little time or energy for the things she wanted.
Bella retraced her steps to the house. Earlier tonight she’d discovered the power Blake held over her. She’d been disappointed they’d had no chance to cement the connection they’d forged during their lovemaking, but relieved for the opportunity to gain perspective before facing Blake again.
Not one thing she’d experienced tonight had left her unaffected. Should she get out before it was too late? She could tell Blake she’d changed her mind. It wasn’t too late to back away from the edge.
And never make love to him? Her body ached at the thought.
Bella stopped halfway across the lawn and faced the ocean. Lifting her face to the wind, she quieted her mind and listened for the truth.
In the past two years she’d learned a great deal about herself. She’d reimagined her dreams. She’d learned more about her strengths and desires. And she’d enjoy her time with Blake as long as it lasted. A day, a week or a month. Whatever she could have. If she was smart and kept her head on straight, she could do exactly as Deidre suggested and enjoy his company for as long as it lasted.
When it was done, they would part friends.
With Victoria and Blake’s marriage over, it was no longer necessary for Bella to keep away from Drew. But what sort of relationship did she want with him? Back when she’d given birth, Blake had expected her to stay in touch. Come to Drew’s birthday parties. Join them for dinner. Take him to the park. She would have been a family friend, an honorary aunt. That had been her intention until Victoria had asked her to stay away.
But Victoria was no longer in the picture. She’d chosen her career over her son. Rejected the baby that was supposed to keep her marriage together. Now the only women in Drew’s life were his nanny and Blake’s stepsister. And with Jeanne expecting a child of her own, how much time would she have to spend with Drew?
Bella could fill in here and there, but Drew deserved a full-time mother. Soon Blake would get past any lingering feelings of distrust left over from Victoria’s duplicity and remarry. That would leave Bella on the outside looking in again.
Which shouldn’t bother her. She didn’t want the responsibility of a ch
ild. But she didn’t like being an outsider looking in on her son’s life, either. As hard as it had been to cut all ties, each day she’d missed Drew a little less. Who knew—in a year or ten, she might have forgotten all about Blake and Drew if he had never found her at St. Vincent’s.
Bella laughed bitterly at her foolishness and lifted her face to the wind. The brine from the ocean mingled with the salt of her tears.
Instead, in less than three days, she’d made memories that would haunt her to her dying day.
*
Like the master bedroom, the nursery faced the back of the house. Blake stood before the large picture window, one hand on his son’s crib, and watched Bella return from the beach. Their lovemaking had been spectacular. Bella’s innocence refreshing. Her enthusiasm addictive. The play of emotion on her face fascinating. When he’d set his mouth on her, she’d been surprised. Shocked, even. Discovering each thing that pleasured her made him feverish to learn more. How many things could he introduce her to? The possibilities appeared to be endless.
The moon was three-quarters full and high overhead, providing enough light for him to follow the lone figure as she made her way across the lawn. Despite the distance between them, Blake could see the determined set of her shoulders. She strode toward the house as if marching into battle. What a fascinating woman she was. A perplexing blend of determination and insecurity, as if she knew what she wanted, but was afraid to grab it with both hands.
And tonight she’d wanted him. Her boldness had been a delightful surprise. After the way she’d pushed him away this afternoon, he’d assumed he’d spend the next week convincing her to fall into his arms. He’d never expected she’d arrive at the decision all on her own.
Not that he believed for one second that what had happened between them earlier meant that their relationship would proceed smoothly. Jeanne’s presence down the road and her goal of reuniting him with Victoria was a complication that wouldn’t just go away. If his stepsister had any inkling of what he intended for Bella, she would move heaven and earth to stop him.