by Jane Porter
Erika nodded. “I need to get back to Riverside. It’s going to be a long drive.” And then she went to her room, left the goodbye letter on her bed, and collected her suitcases, carrying them outside to the trunk of her car.
Erika was glad Beck still slept. She didn’t know how she’d say goodbye to him without falling apart, and Beck didn’t need drama swirling around him. Conversely, there was no point saying goodbye to Billy. What would she say to him anyway? And what would he say to her? She might as well save them an uncomfortable farewell where meaningless words would be exchanged.
In her car she buckled up, and reversed, before pulling out of the driveway. She drove down the road at a moderate speed until she hit the highway, and then once there, drove fast, the speed a relief.
Her heart burned, and her chest burned, and her eyes burned. She was on fire, head to toe, and she drove as if she could escape the pain within her. She hurt and hurt and hurt, her entire past with all the abandonment and hollow goodbyes rising up to swamp her, reminding her just how easy it was for people to leave, to walk away. Her dad hadn’t just left Mom, but he’d left her. Mom had disappeared into anger and her new church, where she could pretend she was loving and kind, as long as she didn’t have to interact with her own daughter.
Even though she wanted to cry, she held the tears back. It was hard to breathe, hard to see, and it took her a moment to react when the car in front of her suddenly slammed on its brakes.
She slammed on her brakes, too, so hard that the back of the car fishtailed and she did a partial doughnut on the highway before coming to stop on the road’s shoulder. Thank God the shoulder of the road was flat, and there had been room to skid to a stop. With the sound of screeching tires still ringing in her ears, she turned off the engine and rested her head on the steering wheel. She had to pull herself together. She couldn’t tune out while driving. She’d get herself killed, or worse, hurt someone else.
Sitting in the car, the pain bubbled up again. She couldn’t believe she was actually leaving Beck, for good this time.
She didn’t want to walk away from him. Beck felt like hers… her baby, her son. She didn’t feel like the cousin once removed anymore, she felt like Mom. Maybe because he had no other mom, or maybe because she’d given him all of her, but to leave a child she loved felt like a sin.
Love was awful. Love hurt. Love—
She lifted her head at the sound of a sharp rap on her window. Looking up she saw Billy standing there, handsome as ever, hair disheveled, jaw covered in stubble, a furious glint in his blue eyes.
It was the real him, a very raw him, not the charming polished cowboy that did appearances and signed cards at autograph sessions.
Her insides did a crazy flip and she rolled her window down, but then couldn’t think of anything to say, and so she just stared up at him, shocked. Confused.
“You’re just leaving without saying goodbye?” he demanded curtly, voice hard.
She blinked, eyes so gritty and dry. “I didn’t think there was much for either of us to say.”
“After all this time together, you don’t think goodbye would have been nice? You don’t think we needed some kind of closure?”
Closure made her throat swell, and her chest ache. “I got the closure last night,” she whispered. “You made it clear I was no longer needed and so I’m moving on. I’m saving you from giving that speech you have to give to all your other girls—”
“You’re not the others. You’re not one of anyone else. You weren’t ever my buckle bunny. You were not a hookup. How could you even say that?”
“Because there’s nothing for me here. There’s nothing I can be—”
“No? Nothing for Beck? Did he matter so little to you?”
“He matters so much,” she answered, her voice cracked with emotion. “He’s like… mine. I’ve been with him for months. I have cared for him for months. I’ve woken up in the night to make sure he was okay for months. You think I want to leave him? You think I just want to play patty-cake and go?” She slammed her hands on the steering wheel. “But what am I to do, Billy? What are my options? How do we make this work? Because I can’t hang around here and watch you with another woman. I don’t want to look away every time your phone buzzes with a text from one of your girls. I don’t want to dread the next rodeo because you have someone special in that town. I can’t do that. I can’t take care of Beck and look the other way while you are playing the field. I know I’m not yours, and I know we don’t have a relationship, but I can’t pretend that it doesn’t tear me apart that you have someone else.”
Erika reached up and wiped away the tears before they could fall. Her nose was congested. She could hardly breathe. She was saying too much, she was revealing too much, but she couldn’t stop herself now. “I have real feelings for you, Billy. I fell for you, way too hard. It wasn’t the plan. God knows it wasn’t the plan. But it happened and I don’t need you giving me your farewell speech that you’ve given to countless other women. It would kill me. Let me leave with some dignity. Let me go while I still have some self-respect.”
“No,” he said. “I’m not letting you go. And I don’t give a damn for your self-respect, not when I think your judgment is clouded. If I thought it was the best thing for you to leave, I’d let you leave, but it’s not the best thing for you, and it’s not the best thing for me. We’re good together, really good together, and I was going to say all of this to you today, before you snuck out of the house, and flew down the road like a crazed banshee.”
“I didn’t sneak anywhere. I left you a note—”
“I saw the note. It was ridiculous. You’re being ridiculous—”
“Me? The man who won’t commit to anyone or anything, the one who needs a different woman in every town—”
“Before you, yes. Before you, I did a lot of dumb things, but that was before you. Now there is you, and you change everything. Everything.”
“What are you saying?”
“Because of you, there will never be anyone else for me, not now. There is only you. You, Erika Baylor. You’re mine. You belong with me. We’re meant to be together. You, Beck, me. And if we’re lucky, babies we make together.”
He reached inside her car, unlocked the door, and opened it so that he could unbuckle her seat belt and pull her out onto her feet. “I’m not perfect, I’m far from perfect, but, sweetheart, I think I am perfect for you. And I don’t say that arrogantly, I say it from the heart. Because I like you, I like you so much I can’t think of one thing I don’t like about you. I never get tired of your company. All I want to do is look up and see you. I love your voice. I love the way you sing as you cook or wash up—”
“I have a terrible voice. I can’t carry a tune,” she protested, leaning against him because her legs had no strength. Fortunately, he was warm and strong.
“I know, and I love that about you, because you sing anyway.” He brushed a long tendril from her damp cheek, his fingertips infinitely gentle. “I love the way you frown at your computer when you’re concentrating. I love the way you ask me to turn the TV down when it’s too loud—”
“I try to be polite.”
“I know, and you are. Excruciatingly polite.” His thumb stroked her cheek, a slow comforting caress. “I love that you read to Beck even though he has no idea what you’re saying—”
“But he does. He’s really smart.”
The corner of Billy’s mouth lifted. “I love that you talk to him like he’s a grown-up, and how he hangs onto every word you say.”
“Because he’s smart,” she said, snuggling into his chest.
Billy laughed softly. “I love that you love him, because I know you do.” His smile faded, his blue gaze growing somber. “You can’t leave us, babe. You can’t leave the people who need you, and we need you, Beck and me. We’re your family. You’re our family. We belong together.”
He was saying so many lovely words, and saying things that made her feel better, but she wa
s still afraid. Still worried. “But if there wasn’t Beck, we wouldn’t be together. You wouldn’t want me, or need me—”
“Not true. You’re not like anyone else I’ve ever known. You’re stronger, and braver, and more loyal and more loving—you remind me of a Wyatt. You’re my people. My person. I’ve been looking all my life for you.” He kissed her then, a slow, persuasive kiss that seemed to kiss away her hurt. “Beck was just the one that brought us together, but we’re meant to be together. Destined.”
Destined. She liked the sound of that, and blinking, she looked up into his face, her gaze meeting his and holding. “You’ve turned my life inside out. It will break my heart for you to go, but—”
“I’m not going anywhere. I’ve chased you down because I can’t lose you. I don’t want you to leave. I don’t know how to say fancy words, Erika. I’m not good with romance. But I sure as hell don’t want to live life without you, not ever.”
“You like me better than the others?”
He stared deep into her eyes, baffled. “I love you. I want to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you. So yes, I like you better than the others. I like you best of all. You’re my girl. My one and only. I swear to you.”
“Does that mean we have a relationship?”
He laughed, a soft husky laugh. “We better. I’m planning on marrying you very soon.”
She rose up on tiptoe and kissed him, her arms wrapping around his neck. “Say that again.”
“You’re my girl.”
“No, the other part.”
“My one and only.”
“No, the part about us having a relationship.”
“You said that, not me.”
She tipped her head back and looked up into his blue eyes. “But we do, right?”
“Yes.”
“Say that to me.”
“We have a relationship. We’re in a relationship. It’s an official relationship.”
Erika grinned. “That sounds nice.”
“What about the marrying soon part?”
“Oh, that was nice, too.” She leaned in and kissed him. “Was that a proposal?” she asked against his mouth.
“No, I’m just stating my intentions. You’ll know when I propose to you. You won’t have to ask.” He hesitated. “But just to be clear, you love me?”
“I love you more than anything. I love you until the end of tine.” She hesitated. “But I want time with you. I want you around for a very long time. Please don’t go back on the circuit just yet. Please give yourself more time to heal. I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to you again, not so soon—”
“I won’t go back until next year. We’ll spend the next seven months together, doing things together, enjoying being a family.”
Her heart did a double beat. “Do you really mean that?”
“I do. But I have something to ask of you.”
“What’s that?”
“Finish your dissertation. Get it done. You’ll feel so much better when it’s completed, and you’re free.”
“I don’t want to miss out on life—”
“You won’t. Beck and I will be here every single day, supporting you, believing in you. Just pretend we’re your dedicated fans in the stands cheering you on.”
She leaned in for another kiss. “I like the sound of that. Erika Baylor, cowgirl.”
“Erika Baylor Wyatt, my cowgirl.”
Epilogue
Billy was as good as his word.
He did not return to the professional rodeo circuit that year, taking the rest of the summer and fall off to heal and spend time with his son and Erika, while Erika returned to her studies, and devoted the summer to finishing her dissertation.
They spent most of their time at his cabin—their cabin—although every four weeks or so they made the drive to Paradise Valley to spend a few days with his family. Sam and Tommy were still doing well on the circuit and weren’t home often, but Billy was always glad to see Granddad, Mom, Joe and Sophie.
Sophie and Joe’s baby, Elijah Michael Wyatt, arrived early June, so there were two baby boy Wyatts for the next generation. It was just a matter of time before Beck and Elijah would become best friends. As it was, Beck was happy taking Elijah’s toys from him, one after the other.
Erika had to defend her dissertation in mid-November. She passed, and was awarded her PhD. Beck’s first birthday fell on Thanksgiving weekend just a week later, and all the Wyatts made a point of returning to the Diamond W Ranch to celebrate Beck’s birthday properly. There was a cake, balloons, streamers. Erika was delighted by Beck’s joy, pounding on his tray of the old wooden highchair, screeching as he reached for a balloon. He was still, in her mind, the smartest baby ever and she couldn’t believe how far they’d all come in the past nine months. It was while she was cutting Beck’s birthday cake she hit something hard and she pulled out the knife, and looked at the cake worriedly. “I just hit something hard,” she said. “Something is in the cake.”
“Oh no,” Sophie said. “How is that possible? I made the cake myself.”
“That’s not totally true,” Joe said. “You had Billy’s help. Didn’t he help scrape the bowl?”
Sophie made a face. “More like licked the batter from the beaters,” she said. She turned and glared at Billy. “I hope you didn’t do anything to my cake.”
Billy just shrugged. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I just scraped the batter into the pans and put the pans in the oven like you said.”
Erika sliced the next piece and put it on a dessert plate. And there in the middle of the second layer of the cake was something that should not be there, something silver, and—she used her fingers to pull it from the cake—and a diamond. A ring. A huge diamond ring.
“I think that’s your slice,” Billy said helpfully. “At least it should be now that you’ve gone and put your fingers all in it.”
“My slice?” Erika repeated. “But there’s a ring—” And then she looked at Billy and saw his smile, and sat down hard onto the edge of her dining chair. “Is this a joke?” Her voice quivered and she carefully wiped some of the cake and frosting from the huge marquis-cut diamond.
“No, not a joke.” Billy stepped around the high chair and knelt at Erika’s side. “Erika Baylor, will you do me the honor, the very great honor, of being my wife?” And Billy, being Billy, took the ring with the remnants of cake and icing and slid it on her finger even as she stared at him in shock.
“You’re not kidding.” Her eyes locked with his. Her heart pounded. She curled her fingers around his hand suddenly feeling faint, and she never felt faint. “This is the proposal.”
He rose and pulled her to her feet. “This is the proposal.” He kissed her in front of everyone. “Will you marry me?”
She blinked back tears, her eyes burning hot and salty, her throat aching with emotion. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
“So is that a yes?” he said in a mock whisper.
She laughed against his chest, her face buried against his shirt. He was so warm, he smelled so good. He felt, as always, just like home. “That’s a yes, Billy Wyatt.”
Billy hugged her closer, even as he looked to his family. “The girl said yes.”
His family cheered, and Beck, having no idea about what was really going on, cheered too, hitting the wooden tray with all his might.
Billy kissed Erika again, sealing the deal. “Let’s get married soon. I want you to be my wife before the end of the year.”
She drew back to look up into his face, and his gorgeous blue eyes. “Are you thinking a Christmas wedding?”
“I’m just thinking soon; I’ll let you decide the rest.”
“Then a small Christmas wedding it is. Just family.” She looked around the dining room, smiling at everyone. “Just all of you.”
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Enjoy an exclusive excerpt from Sadie Mann’s romance
Miracle on Chance Avenue
Jane Porter
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The worst part about being the newest employee was that you had the least amount of seniority, which was why Sadie Mann was standing outside a tiny historic stable turned into stylish small house at the end of Farrell Avenue, shivering in the snow, waiting for the renter to show and pick up the keys at nine thirty at night.
She didn’t mind meeting the guest who’d booked the property as her house wasn’t far and Marietta had virtually no crime, but it was ridiculously cold, and she’d been waiting an awfully long time. There were so many projects she could be working on right now, commissions she still needed to get in the mail if they were to reach her customers before Christmas.
But she’d manage it, she would, she told herself, hunching her shoulders against yet another blast of cold air, the wind as much a part of Marietta as the famed Copper Mountain peak standing sentry behind the town’s historic courthouse.
Yes, it might mean missing the Marietta Stroll tomorrow night, something she’d never missed before, not even when she was flying with Big Sky Air, as it was her annual tradition with her mom, but Mom was gone, having passed away suddenly in September and Sadie had accepted that things were different. She was different. She’d given up her fantasies and daydreams and had turned over a new leaf. Her goal was to be strong, self-sufficient, and practical. And practical was the most challenging of the three.
Being practical had become her mantra since Rory was hurt, and then came her mom’s death, and being practical took on a whole new meaning. With her mom gone, Sadie realized just how foolish she’d been, chasing impossible dreams all these years, with Rory the biggest dream of all.