He locks eyes with me, his cheeks full of color and eyes heavy with desire. “Ready.”
I add a massive amount of lube to my dick and the crease between his cheeks, hoping it helps lessen the pain.
My heart hammers against my ribs as heat courses through my veins, firing me up. Ali laid out before me is the most amazing sight I’ve ever seen.
With my dick in my hand, I begin to nudge at his entrance. He sucks in a shuddering breath as he tightens up.
“Relax, baby,” I whisper. “I’ll stop when you tell me to. I won’t hurt you.”
He nods and takes a deep breath.
It takes a good five minutes to get fully inside, but the tightness wrapped around me is something I wasn’t prepared for. My balls draw up and an orgasm builds instantly.
“Oh shit,” I breathe.
“Move,” he moans.
“No, don’t move,” I say. “I’ll come. Give me a second.”
Ali chuckles.
“It’s not funny. God, your ass is so tight.”
He wiggles slightly. “Yeah, well, your dick isn’t small.”
I stroke him while I try to get my body under control, but I can already tell this is gonna be quick.
My movements are awkward. I’m trying to do everything to keep from coming too fast while trying to make sure I make this feel good for Ali while also making sure it doesn’t hurt. We’re a combined mix of grunts, gasps, and groans.
Five minutes later, I can’t stave off my orgasm any longer. Once I’ve carefully pulled out and disposed of the condom, I go back to Ali and make sure to finish him off with my hand and mouth.
As he’s coming down from his own release, I flop next to him and stare up at the ceiling.
“That was crazy. I’m sorry I was so fast, but fuck, you’ll never believe how that feels.”
Ali chuckles, reaching for my hand. “It’s okay, I liked it, but it’ll take some time before we’re both fully comfortable.”
“The good news is that we still have plenty of time before Elijah’s home. We could try again.”
I chance a glance at Ali who grimaces. “Uh, it may not have lasted long, but your cock was still just in my ass. Unless you want me to fuck you, I don’t think we’ll be trying again tonight.”
I shift to my side and look at him. “Are you okay? Was it awful?”
“No, it wasn’t awful. Just different. It’ll take some getting used to. Are you saying you don’t want me to try with you?”
I make a face. “Now I’m scared.”
He laughs. “Chicken shit.”
Downstairs, the door slams closed followed by the raised voices of Elijah and Jenn. They’re fighting again.
“Shit!” I jump up and throw my clothes on while Ali slowly gets out of bed, reaching for his own.
“Ow,” he whines, bending down to get his pants. “I don’t think I’m gonna be able to sit down.”
We break into a fit of laughter as he tries to quickly get dressed all while complaining about his ass.
Elijah’s loud footsteps travel up the stairs, so I put the TV on real quick and jump back onto the bed, casually leaning against the headboard.
“Act natural!” I whisper loudly. “Sit down.”
“I can’t!” Ali whispers back with wide eyes.
“Unlock the door.”
He quietly turns the lock on the doorknob and then moves toward my small walk-in closet, and acts like he’s looking for something.
Elijah opens the door, and I can see the annoyance etched on his face immediately. “Hey.” He spots Ali shifting through my shirts. “Oh, I didn’t know you were here, Alejandro.”
“Hey, Elijah.”
“What’s goin’ on with you and Jenn?” I ask.
Elijah clenches his jaw. “It’s fine. Just wanted to let you know I’m home.”
I snort. “Yeah, I heard.”
Elijah pins me with a look.
“Don’t be a pain in the ass,” Ali says from the closet.
I choke on my laugh, and Elijah leans against the doorjamb. “Sorry you have to hear that, but she’s about to leave. Did you eat dinner?”
I shake my head. “No, you cookin’?”
“I can.”
“All right. We’ll be down soon.”
Elijah eyes the both of us before walking away, leaving the door open.
“Pain in the ass?” I say quietly, laughing.
“Well, you are,” Ali responds with a shrug.
“And what the hell were you doing? Literally coming out of the closet to my brother?”
Ali barks out a laugh. “I didn’t even think about that.”
“Come on, let’s go get ready to eat.”
“Oh shit. Would it be weird to eat standing up?”
I throw my head back with a deep laugh. “Yes, it’s weird. We’ll figure it out.”
Before we leave my room, Ali tugs me back and gives me a quick kiss. “I’m glad you were my first.”
“I promise to get better,” I say, kissing him back. “And then you’ll want me to be your only.”
He smirks and then we head downstairs to have an awkward dinner with my brother.
41
Merrick
Present Day
The flight to New York is around an hour and forty-five minutes, and once we all land, we head straight to the label, hoping to get this over and done with as fast as possible.
“Evan says Kit is abnormally pissy today,” Sky says as he leans back in the limo.
Kit is the owner and CEO of K&T Entertainment, and he’s pissed off on a good day.
“Why? Did Evan say what was going on?”
Sky closes his eyes. “Nope.”
“Great,” I groan.
When the limo comes to a stop in front of the building, we get out and go straight inside where our manager, Evan, waits for us.
“Hey, guys. Lookin’ good. How’s your break been? Staying out of trouble, I hope,” he rattles on, moving ahead of us.
“Yeah,” Jay and Sky mumble.
“Break would’ve been better if I wasn’t here,” Carlos adds. “What’s goin’ on?”
Evan doesn’t bother turning around as he talks to us, going directly to the elevators. “Kit wants to talk to you guys. We also need to go over the tour sales and what you’re planning for the next album.”
The chrome doors slide open and Evan turns and gives us a smile while gesturing for us to get in.
“I thought we weren’t expected to have another album out for a while,” I say.
Evan looks through his papers. “Uh, no. It’s already been almost a year since the last album.”
“And we just got off an almost year-long tour,” Carlos says. “We have loyal fans, they’re not going anywhere if we don’t release once a year.”
“You think that,” Evan quips. “Another band will take your spot in a heartbeat. Have you been writing anything?”
Me and Sky nod. “Yeah, we have a handful of songs.”
“Well, let’s get a handful more. Maybe a handful and a half.”
When we get to the top floor, the doors slide open and we step out to hear Kit going off on someone.
“Mr. Brower will be with you a minute,” his executive assistant says from her desk.
Kit spots us and slams his door closed, but the glass windows allow us to see how red his face gets as he yells at someone on the phone.
“Jesus, what’s up his ass?” Jay asks.
Evan stands in front of us, reading something on his phone. “I think it’s a problem with another artist.” He lifts his head and looks at us. “Don’t worry about that, just don’t do anything to piss him off.”
I sneak a glance at Sky who’s already looking at me with worry etched between his brows.
Ten minutes later, we’re finally allowed into his lavish office. The large mahogany desk could fit two people behind it with the ability to work comfortably. A matching bookcase lines the wall behind the desk, holding several
awards, picture frames, and a few books. The other walls are filled with platinum records and photos of Kit and the artists under his label.
“Come in, come in,” he says, ushering us in with impatience.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Brower,” Evan starts.
“There’s nothing good about today, Evan,” Kit spits. “Nothing.”
Evan shifts uncomfortably as the rest of us take our seats on the brown leather couches. “Sorry to hear that, sir.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Kit huffs, standing behind his chair, giving the top of it a death grip. “Just don’t give me any shit news today. I’ve had enough, and if you’re friends with Tony, you better tell him to stay the fuck away from me for the next fucking year.”
I share a look with Carlos, wondering what the hell is going on. Tony manages a solo artist named Jax Night, and a group called Three X. I wonder who did what.
“Yes, sir,” Evan replies.
“What did he do?” Sky asks, bringing all eyes to him.
Evan looks furious that he would open his mouth, but Sky’s known for saying whatever the hell he wants.
Kit stares at him with a clenched jaw, his face still red. “Nothing. He didn’t do a fucking thing. Especially his job.” Kit pins Evan with a look and points at us. “You need to make sure you keep them in check, otherwise they’re gonna do something that gets you in trouble.”
“Oh. Yes, sir. These are good guys. They wouldn’t do anything to get me or your label in trouble.”
Evan shoots us a look, gritting his teeth like a mom threatening her kid in public. Evan’s typically a good guy, but he definitely gets frustrated with us from time to time. He’s in his early forties, and has no wife or kids, so he’s a workaholic one hundred percent of the time.
“Give me the numbers,” Kit huffs.
Evan goes over the ticket sales for the tour we just went on. We sold out every location, so neither of them should have anything to complain about. I tune them out as Evan rattles off album equivalent units, which songs were on what charts and for how long.
I don’t bother listening, because all I can think about is how am I supposed to tell them I’m gay when Kit’s head is already about to explode. Evan would strangle me for not telling him first and going straight to the man in charge.
Sky hits my knee with his, getting my attention.
“Are you?” he asks quietly, jerking his head in their direction.
“I don’t know. Terrible timing, right?”
Evan clears his throat, staring right at me and Sky, which shuts us up.
“So what’re we thinking for the next album? Can we manage a release by November?” Kit asks.
“We can get it done, sir,” Evan the ass kisser says, like he actually has anything to do with creating music.
“Yeah? Boys?” Kit asks, running his hand along the side of his white hair, making sure it’s perfectly in place.
“We have some songs ready, but I didn’t think we’d need another album ready this year,” Sky says.
“Were you not informed of what was expected?” Kit questions, moving his glare from us to Evan.
Evan laughs nervously. “Of course they were, sir. They’re fast writers, we can have it done.”
“Before Christmas,” Kit says, moving to sit in his chair. “That will be five albums in five years, and then we can discuss your contract.”
“And the next tour?” I question. “When is that supposed to be?”
“You need to ask your manager,” Kit replies gruffly, looking at his computer screen.
“Sir, do you think anything needs to change stylistically?” Evan asks. “I think they’re good. They’ve evolved a little, but not so much that they’ve alienated their original fan base.”
“Based on their sales numbers and how they’re holding steady on the music charts, I wouldn’t change too much.”
“Right. That’s what I was thinking,” Evan says.
“Great. I have another meeting,” Kit says, dismissing us.
When we stand up, I decide in that moment to just go ahead and tell them.
“Uh, sir?” I say, taking a step toward his desk. “I have something I need to tell you. Both you and Evan, actually. It’s pretty serious and. . .”
I stop talking when Kit looks up at me and releases an annoyed sigh as he rubs his temple. “You haven’t told your manager this news?”
Evan rushes over to me. “No, he hasn’t, and he won’t tell you now. I’ll talk to him and if it’s something you need to know, we’ll make another appointment.”
“No, I need to tell you now,” I say, yanking out of his grip.
“So help me God, Merrick, if you don’t walk out of this office right now I will ruin your life,” Evan mutters quietly near my ear. “We’re gonna go. Have a good day, sir,” Evan says to Kit, pushing me toward the door.
I spot Sky and he gives me a slight shake of his head, telling me to let it go for now.
Storming out of the office, I head to the stairwell, not wanting to be in the elevator with Evan right now. All I can think about is how I promised Ali I would be coming back with good news. I told him over and over again that I was going to tell them. And now he’s going to be pissed because I’m, once again, going to look like a piece of shit liar.
When I finally reach the lobby, I find the guys waiting for me sans Evan.
“You good?” Jay asks.
“Where’s Evan?”
“He said he didn’t have time for your tantrum and to call him later.”
“Fuckin’ dick.”
“I know you’re disappointed,” Carlos says, “But you tried. It was just bad timing. Kit was already pissed, and had you told him, he probably would’ve reacted even worse just because he was already mad.”
“It’s way more than being disappointed,” I say, running my hands through my hair. “This shit is gonna kill me. This ruins everything.”
They share glances, not sure what I’m talking about. I didn’t tell them about my promise to Ali, and they don’t know all the details about what we’ve been through, so they couldn’t get it. But shit, I don’t know how I’m supposed to face Ali now. How can I explain what happened without looking like someone just grasping at excuses.
“I gotta go,” I huff. “I’ll catch y’all later.”
I storm out of the building, hail a cab, and go straight to the airport. In the time it takes me to get back home, I hope I find the right thing to say to Ali, and I hope more than anything that he believes me.
42
Alejandro
Present Day
I expect to hear from Merrick about how the meeting went, but he doesn’t call or text, so as I try to patiently wait for what I hope is good news, I distract myself by visiting the ladies in my life.
“’Bout time you showed your face around here again,” Lili says, walking into the kitchen with Mari’s car seat hanging from the crook of her arm.
“It hasn’t been that long,” I say, rolling my eyes as I continue to help my mom with dinner.
“Merrick came to town and you disappeared.” She eyes me as she gently places the baby down, unbuckling her from the seat.
“I’ve also been back home and hanging out with my other friends,” I shoot back.
“Mari needs a diaper change,” she says, bringing the baby to her chest.
“Let me do it,” Mom says, pushing past me with outstretched arms.
Once she disappears into the other room with the baby and the diaper bag, Lili crosses her arms and stares me down.
“What?” I ask, stirring the chili verde.
“What’s going on with you and Merrick?”
My heart rate picks up speed. “What do you mean?”
“You went on and on about the huge falling out you had, then got mad at me for inviting him over, and now everything’s okay? Y’all made up?”
I release a breath of relief. “Yeah, we did. Everything’s fine.”
“I never got to finish my
question when he was here for dinner, and you’ve been scarce, and I want an answer.”
“Okay,” I reply hesitantly.
“This fight y’all had. Did it have something to do with you being gay?”
“No,” I answer immediately.
“So it wasn’t because he was a homophobe or something?”
I bark out a laugh. “No, it wasn’t that.”
“Well, what was it then? Were you mad that he left?”
With a sigh, I say, “No.”
“You’re not gonna tell me?”
“It’s not really worth talking about now. We’re friends, we’re fine, and we’re moving forward.”
Lili keeps staring at me, chewing on the inside of her lip. Hopefully I’ll be able to tell her soon, but as of now, as far as I know, Merrick is still in the closet.
“Did you have a crush on him and told him and made things weird?” she asks.
“Oh my God, Lili,” I breathe. “I’m not gonna have this conversation with you.”
“What conversation?” Mom asks, coming back into the kitchen with the baby.
“Nothing. I gotta go make a call,” I announce before stepping out onto the porch.
I remove my phone from my pocket and dial Merrick’s number, but it goes straight to voicemail.
“Hey, it’s me. Just wanted to talk to you and see how things were going. Call me when you can.”
I hang up feeling frustrated. Not being able to be with Merrick in public is just one of the reasons I didn’t want to start up anything with him if he was still closeted, but the hardest one is not being able to talk to my family or friends about him. I can’t tell my sister something as simple as why me and Merrick had a falling out. I can’t tell my mom that I found someone to love and who loves me back. I can’t tell my friends stories about me and him. I have to lie and avoid certain topics.
I hate lying to my family. I hate not being able to share my happiness with people close to me. When you’re in love, you want to be able to talk about that.
The rest of my night is ruined by my sour mood. I can’t help but worry about what happened in Merrick’s meeting today. The fact that I haven’t heard from him gives me a bad taste in my mouth. If things had gone well, he would’ve told me immediately.
Risking it All: An M/M, rockstar, second chance romance (Kingston Brothers Book 4) Page 17