by Dena Christy
He finally pulled up to her house, and she was out of the truck as soon as it had come to a complete stop. She raced to the house as if her butt was on fire, and he sighed as he turned off the truck. Should he go after her, or leave it alone for today? He didn't like leaving things this way, with her not speaking to him. He didn't know what he was going to say, but if they were going to try to get through this year without completely ripping each other apart, he needed to try to be a reasonable man with her.
He got out of the truck and walked up the porch. He didn't bother to knock on the door as he walked in. She was back to sorting out the boxes, as if she'd never left and they hadn't been given the explosive bombshell in Logan's office.
"Why don't you leave that for the moment so we can talk?" He came over to her, stood behind her and she gave a shake of her head.
"I don't know what else there is to talk about? I've told you that I'm prepared to go through with this, and so what happens next is up to you. I have a lot of things to do. This house is not going to pack up itself." She wouldn't look at him, and she took the box over to the bookshelf and started throwing things into it.
"You're still going to sell this place?"
She sighed and dropped the box on the floor with a thud. She turned and folded her arms across her chest.
"Yes, I'm still going to sell this place. We need to live together for the next year and I’m going to assume that you don't want to pack up your things and move in here."
That wasn't going to happen. He was the lieutenant for Cold Bay and he was going to be living in Cold Bay. But that didn't mean that she had to sell this place. She was going to need somewhere to live once their year was up.
"Of course we will be living at my place, but what about after the year is over? You'll need somewhere to live once it's done."
Her mouth tightened and he couldn't for the life of him figure out what he'd said.
"I have no intention of living in this house once it's over. I don't know if I'm going to stay in East Brook once everything is done." She picked up the box again and turned back to the bookshelf.
Not stay in East Brook? The thought was like a kick in the gut. Why the hell wouldn't she want to stay here once their year together was over? What if they conceived a child, which was the whole point of this?
"And what if there is a child? What then? Are you going to give birth and run out on it?" He never would have pegged her for the type of woman who would leave her child to grow up without her. But then when they'd first gotten together he'd never thought she was the kind of woman who would run off with another man. How well did he really know her?
She dropped the box again and spun around, with fire in her eyes. "There is no way in hell I'd ever abandon my child. What kind of woman do you think I am?"
"Do you really want me to answer that after the stunt you pulled fifteen years ago?" He could feel heat rise inside him, and it only got hotter when the implications of what she was saying hit him. She wasn't going to abandon their child but she wasn't going to stay either. "There is no way in hell you are taking my child from me. My baby needs a father, and while this isn't exactly the most ideal way to start a family and certainly not the way I wanted it to happen, I am going to be there for my kid."
The thought of her leaving, of her taking his kid with her and perhaps have him or her raised by someone else did nothing to calm him down. If he thought her running off fifteen years ago had hurt, the notion that she would do it again sent a chill through him. It would be so much worse, since if there was a child it would feel like his heart had been torn from him. He'd always known that he wanted kids, and it had been reinforced when he'd spent time with Logan's son.
She sighed and dropped her head forward for a second, shaking it.
"How is this going to work between us? Maybe we should got to Logan and tell him that we can't do it. He said that he would respect any decision we made." She kicked the box out of the way and walked past him toward the kitchen. He heard the sound of water running, and thought about agreeing with her.
He knew that he couldn't let his pack or his alpha down. They had to do this. He followed her to the kitchen and watched her tip back a glass of water as she drank the whole thing.
"How can you say this isn't going to work? You want to give up without even giving it a shot? What do you think is going to happen to East Brook if Batesburg gets a hold of it?"
"I know exactly what will happen, I've seen it. The alpha of Batesburg makes my stepfather's term as alpha look like heaven. I know that this pack can't take any more, that it's dying already. A part of me wants to let it die, to move on and try to build something new." She turned around to face him and there was a look of intense sadness on her face that he hated seeing. But he was at a loss to know what to do or say to take that look away. It seemed like all he ever did was say the wrong thing. "I don't know what to do."
"We'll find a way to make it work." He walked closer to her and took the glass of water from her hand and put it on the counter. He thought about taking her hands in his but didn't. Things were already so tense and complicated between them that he knew touching her would only make things worse.
"How can we Mason, when we are already fighting over a child who doesn't exist yet? Do you really want to spend the next year in battle?"
"No, I don't. If there is a child when the year is over, we'll address it once it happens. We just have to make the best of the coming year, and go our separate ways once it's over. East Brook may be dying, but Cold Bay isn't. I can't let my pack be swallowed by Batesburg if there is anything I can do to stop it."
She looked up at him, and talking to her like this, with a calm a rational tone made him forget for a moment all the garbage that was between them. It felt like old times, when he couldn't get enough of her. Her allure pulled him toward her like a magnet and he found his head lowering toward hers.
Her eyes flared wide, and she quickly shifted to the side so that she was no longer in front of him. He stiffened for a moment. Had he actually been about to kiss her? It was obviously not what she wanted at the moment, and he couldn't really blame her. They'd only spent most of the time they'd been in this house yelling at each other.
"I have a lot to do, because no matter what happens next year there is no way I want to live in this house. It holds too many bad memories for me, and if I'm going to get it sorted I need to do a lot of work." There was a closed look on her face and he knew that any further discussion would not be happening now.
"I'll tell Logan that we are going to go through with this. I'm sure he'll be in touch with you about what will happen next." He walked past her toward the front of the house. Once he got outside he felt like he could breathe again. The tension in that house had been oppressive and if that was what it was going to be like for the next year, he didn't know how they were going to get through it.
He got in his truck and turned over the engine. For his part, he certainly could have handled that a lot better than he had. He needed to get a grip on the resentment that had festered inside him for the past fifteen years. They'd never survive if they spent all their time fighting. And if there was a baby, they had to learn to find a way to get along because there was no way he was going to subject his child to two fighting parents.
He glanced in the rearview mirror, and saw her standing on the porch watching him. Even at this distance he could see the look of profound pain on her face, and there was nothing he could do about it. She wouldn't welcome any comfort from him, especially not since he was sure he was the one who put it there.
5
Grace smoothed her hair one last time as she looked in the mirror. Was she really going to bind herself with Mason, even if it was only for one year? If she’d been told that this moment would come, even as recently as a year ago, she would have scoffed at the impossibility of it. Yet here she was, preparing to give herself to a man whom she’d hurt years ago and still appeared unwilling to forgive her.
It
had been a week since Logan had dropped the bombshell about Titus Parr and his refusal to accept Logan as alpha. The tightening in her chest came as the thought of him crossed her mind. It was like a knee jerk response and she hated it. With a slow breath easing away the panicky feeling, she shoved away thoughts of him from her mind. Titus no longer had power over her and she wasn’t going to give him any by thinking about him.
She was going through with this binding and she was putting the past behind her. It was the only way that she would be able to get through the next year. She had no choice, not unless she wanted to let everyone in her pack down.
She turned away from the mirror. She was as ready for this as she was ever going to be. She grabbed her purse and car keys from the small table by the front door and made her way out of the house. Once in the car she sat staring out the window, not seeing anything, until she became aware that time was marching on and she turned on the ignition.
As her mother’s house faded in the rearview mirror, she felt a certain amount of relief at seeing it shrink away in the distance behind her. One good thing to come out of this was that at least she no longer had to live here. There were too many ghosts living in that house already that there hardly seemed to be enough room for her. Now she was going to live with Mason, where the ghost of their past relationship was the only one she had to contend with. Surely she and Mason would find their way together, wouldn’t they? They wouldn’t spend the next year fighting, would they?
The prospect made her stomach twist for a second and she took a hand off the steering wheel to rub slow circles over it to soothe it. There was no telling what the next year would hold and she needed to go into this with hope that she and Mason wouldn’t tear each other apart before it was all over. This was a chance for them to start off with a clean slate, and for her part she was willing to go forward, forging a new relationship between them.
There were worse things than binding herself to a man she’d once loved to the depths of her soul. And once they got through this, there would be a prize at the end of it. If they were lucky enough to create a baby, she would finally have what she’d been yearning for.
She was jolted from her thoughts as she came up to the road she was supposed to turn down. Even after fifteen years this part of the country was all too familiar to her.
The binding ceremony was taking place in the clearing next to the lake sitting smack in the middle of the border between East Brook and Cold Bay. She hadn't been back here since returning home. The place held too many memories, both good and bad. It was where she’d first met Mason, where they’d shared their first kiss. It was here that they met to sneak off to be together. It seemed rather appropriate that they would bind themselves together here.
She pulled her car into the makeshift parking lot, which was really just a wide open space on the grass, where everyone always parked their cars. She saw Mason’s truck, and her blood pumped a little faster through her veins when she thought about what might happen when she followed him home after the ceremony. Would they make love tonight? She supposed the real question was if she was ready to give herself to Mason completely tonight? It wasn't like she was a virgin and they hadn’t had sex before, but fifteen years was a long time and there was a lot of resentment built up between them. What would sex between them be like and was she prepared for an emotionless coupling that was only about creating a child?
She had no time to consider the answer as she got out of her car. The best way to deal with tonight, with the coming year in fact was to take each moment as they came and to not try to anticipate what would happen next. Maybe Mason would surprise her and be willing to put the past aside so that they might live together for the next year in relative harmony.
As she walked into the clearing, she saw all eyes turn toward her. Heat rushed to her cheeks and she ducked her head down for a second. She could see Mason off to the side, talking to Rafe and a couple other wolves from Cold Bay. Should she go over there? The point of this whole thing was to breach the gap that was still in evidence between the two packs. She noticed that the East Brook pack members were gathered together in their own group and the Cold Bay pack was gathered together in another. Would the distance ever be closed, or was this experiment of binding the two packs doomed to failure before it had even begun?
Logan caught her eye and gestured for her to come over. He was standing there with Faith, and the sight of his arm casually around her waist sent a small spark of longing through her. Would there ever be a time when she and Mason could stand together like that? With casual, easy touches and love evident between them for everyone to see? Or had the time for that passed them by?
She didn’t know the answer and didn’t want to think about it as she walked over to where Logan and Faith stood. The smile on Faith’s face was warm as she extended her hands and Grace took them.
“You look beautiful.” Faith gave her hands a squeeze. Once it had been evident to her that Grace had no designs on Logan, that the only reason she was going to mate with him was because it was required to save her pack, Faith had warmed up to her considerably. It was too early to tell, but she hoped that she and Faith could be friends.
Stepping back into her old life hadn’t been as easy as she thought, and after being away for fifteen years the relationships she’d had before she left hadn’t withstood the test of time. She felt like as much of an outsider as she was sure Faith had felt when she’d first arrived in Cold Bay.
“Thank you, so do you.” And she did look beautiful. Faith had confided in her that she and Logan were expecting their second child, and it showed in how happy they looked together.
“Sweetheart, would you excuse Grace and I? I’d like to talk to her before the ceremony begins.” Logan drew Faith close to him and kissed the top of her forehead. Faith let go of Graces hands as she nodded and stepped away.
Logan drew Grace away from the crowd and she wondered what he could possibly want to talk to her about. Surely everything that needed to be said had been said when she’d told him that she would go through with this.
“I haven’t had a chance to talk to you and maybe now it’s leaving it a little late, but are you absolutely positive that you want to go through with this?” Logan’s eyes were intense as he looked down at her.
She knew that if she told him that she couldn’t go through with it that he would move heaven and earth to find another way. But not only did she have a duty to her pack, she owed Logan. He’d gone out on a limb for her and had made it possible for her to escape East Brook fifteen years ago. He didn’t have to help her, especially when it meant keeping a secret from his best friend, but he had. He’d never asked anything of her in return, but she felt indebted to him nonetheless.
“I’m sure, Logan. It’s too late to back out now. I was ready to go through with this with you, and going through it with Mason would be no different.”
“There is a big difference between you and I and you and Mason. Has he gotten any better?” There was a look of understanding on Logan’s face, and she smiled faintly up at him.
“We haven’t spoken to each other for the past week, which is just as well since we usually find something to fight about.” Logan’s brows drew together, and she put her hand on his arm. “What happens now is between Mason and I. We have to find our own way of dealing with each other. I know you want to smooth the way, to make things easier for us, but unfortunately you can’t do anything to put the past to rest between us. Only we can do that.”
“You know how you can do that. You can tell him the truth, about why you left fifteen years ago.” Logan reached up to where her hand rested on his arm and took her hand, giving it a squeeze.
He made it sound so easy, just tell Mason what really happened. But she couldn't do that, because Logan didn’t know all of it. Only she did, and it was her burden to carry and no one elses.
“It’s too late for that, Logan. I made the decision I did fifteen years ago and you made me a promise. I’m going to
hold you to it.”
Logan dropped her hand and his mouth tightened. She knew that keeping secrets from Mason didn’t sit well with him, but it was not his secret to share.
“The truth has a way of coming out and I think it would be better if Mason learned it from you. But if you are determined to keep secrets from him, there isn’t much I can do about it.” Logan pulled her to him for a quick hug before drawing back. “You may not have a choice.”
“Why do you say that?” There was a look on Logan’s face, one that told her he didn’t want to tell her something. “Logan, what aren’t you telling me?”
“I wasn’t going to tell you tonight, but you’re going to find out anyway. In a way I’m glad that you’ve decided to go through with this, since it means that you will be out of East Brook and under Mason’s protection.” The muscle in Logan’s jaw tightened and Grace’s stomach clenched. “Titus Parr is out of jail.”
Titus is out of jail? Grace swayed for a second as the news sent a wave of shock through her. The urge to run hit her upon hearing his name, but instead of telling Logan that she’d changed her mind about this, she stiffened her resolve. She’d already told herself once this evening that Titus no longer had power over her and she’d meant it.
“Tonight is about putting the past behind me. I intend to do that.”
“Then I think it’s time we get this show on the road, don’t you?”
Grace nodded as she forced herself to relax. Titus being out of jail was nothing to her, and the truth of what happened fifteen years ago would not come out. Not if she could help it.
Mason watched from the sidelines, wondering what the hell Logan and Grace could possibly want to talk about. Surely everything was settled and this ceremony was going to go ahead. It was a little late to pull everything to a halt. And if that was why they were talking about, why the hell wasn’t he included in their little chat? He had as much of a voice in the decision to bind his life with Grace’s for the next year as much as she did.