by Dena Christy
“Well, things must be good between you now. Now that you’re bound together.”
“I wish that was true, but Mason and I have a long way to go before things will ever be good between us. I sometimes wonder if they ever will be. He doesn’t trust me. I feel this distance between us and I don’t know how we are going to get over it. We are bound together out of duty and necessity. We are supposed to make a baby together, and we are not any closer to getting physical with each other than we were when I got back to town.”
Grace was starting to suspect that perhaps that was part of the problem. She and Mason shared a bed every night, and had ever since she’d woken from her nightmare. But during the day they hardly talked, they went about their business as if their lives hadn’t changed at all. They needed to start letting the other in, but how could that happened when there was this secret inside her that she was terrified of letting out?
“I think I know a little bit about how you’re feeling. I don’t know how much you know about my history with Logan, but since we have a twelve year old son together, I think you can piece together that we weren’t exactly in a happy place when I came to find him. Things are wonderful now, and we’re so much in love with each other, but it wasn’t always that way.” Faith reached out and patted Grace on the hand. “The only way that Logan and I managed to find our way back to each other was by not holding ourselves back from each other. If you want to get past the distance that you have between you, you have to take the necessary steps to meeting him half way.”
“What are you suggesting?” She didn’t even know what she was supposed to do, all she knew was that she didn’t want to live in his house like they were two strangers.
“Start small. Make yourself a little vulnerable to him, and show him that you want him. When I moved in with Logan I thought that I could hold myself away from him but we only became a family when I lowered my defenses and let him in. I’m not telling you to spill all your thoughts and feelings to him all at once. But be affectionate with him and let him be affectionate with you. The reason you aren’t sleeping together is not because you find him unattractive, is it?”
Grace gave a little laugh. “No that’s definitely not why. I am very attracted to him.”
“Well start with that and build on it. There is no way for the two of you to move forward, away from the past and toward your future if you don’t get close to him.” Faith gave her hand a squeeze and she smiled for a moment. When the smile faded, a serious look came on her face. “You might have to prepare yourself for telling him the truth about what happened. If there’s anything I learned by being with Logan is that secrets have a way of coming out. When he and I were first together, he kept you a secret from me. When I found out the truth, I was devastated and a big part of that was because I didn’t find out the truth from him. If you are keeping a secret from Mason, it will come out and it would be better for both of you if it came from you.”
Grace made a noncommittal noise, that showed she neither agreed or disagreed with what Faith was saying. It was easy to say that keeping a secret was worse than letting it out, but Faith had no idea of what Grace was holding inside her.
She was right about one thing, as long as she held herself physically away from Mason, they would never move toward the harmonious relationship that she wanted with him. She didn’t know if love was possible between them anymore, but surely things could be better than they currently were. Having sex with him was going to be a big step for her, but she knew that it was one she needed to make if they were ever going to get over the past between them.
“I thought you ladies were supposed to be working?”
Grace let out a startled noise as she looked toward the bedroom door and saw Logan leaning against the door jam with Mason standing behind him. Mason was looking at her with an intensity she hadn’t seen in his eyes before, and it made her heart pick up its pace. Maybe it was seeing him after looking at the photo of him fifteen years ago, but her attraction to him took hold of her and wouldn’t let go. One thing was certain, she wanted him and after their run tonight, she was going to have him.
Relief went through Mason when he saw Grace sitting next to Faith on the bed. All the way over here, his mind had run through every scenario that they might find them in, and the look on Logan’s face told him that he feared the same thing.
“What are you two doing here?” Faith jumped up off the bed and made a bee-line for her man. Logan pulled her close to him and some of his tension eased out of his shoulders. Mason wished for a moment that Grace would come to him like that, but they didn’t have that kind of relationship.
As he walked past Logan and Faith in the doorway, he was starting to think that maybe they should. They couldn’t go on the way they were, because if Titus Parr was back in the area and had his sights set on Grace, then Mason needed to protect her. He couldn’t do that if they weren’t talking to each other.
“We thought it was time that you two packed it in for one day.” Mason reached down to pull Grace to her feet. She stood beside him and he was surprised when she didn’t immediately let go of his hand. They turned together and went toward the door.
“The moon is going to be up soon, and I wanted to spend some time with you and Connor before the run.” Logan pressed a kiss to the top of Faith’s head as he pulled her close. They’d decided on the way over in the truck that they weren’t going to tell the women the real reason for them showing up. Logan hadn’t wanted to frighten Faith if there was no reason to. “From the looks of the house, it seems like you’ve put in plenty of work for one day. The next time you come out I’ll send Rafe with you and he can help you haul away some of these boxes.”
Mason looked down at Grace, but her face seemed clear of suspicion. He and Logan had also decided that if their mates were going to work on clearing out Grace’s mother’s house, they were no longer going to do it alone. Rafe had been the best candidate because he could be here and guard them, and they wouldn’t think he was hovering like they would if it was either Logan or Mason. And Mason knew that Rafe would do whatever was necessary to keep Grace and Faith safe.
They walked through the house toward the front door, and Logan and Faith went to their truck while Mason stood beside Grace as she locked the door. Mason resisted the urge to pull her close to him. Believing that she might be in danger had shown him with a clarity that nothing else could that there was still feelings inside him for her. Perhaps it was the fact that she was his mate now that made the notion of protecting her so paramount, but he wasn’t sure that was all there was to it.
He’d been deeply in love with her at one time, and while he didn’t think that was what he felt for her anymore, he did care about her. But he managed to keep his hands to himself as they walked toward the car. He didn’t want to raise her suspicions about why he and Logan had come racing out here. Titus Parr already had the power to give her nightmares, he didn’t want to add fuel to that fire if his presence in the area was only conjecture at this point.
“It looks like you and Faith accomplished a lot today. You’ll be putting the house up for sale soon enough. Are you sure that’s what you want? It was your home at one time.” Mason took the keys from her and opened the passenger side door for her. She got in and smiled up at him before she closed the door. Her smile had been elusive until now, and his pulse beat heavily when he saw it.
He went around the car and got behind the wheel, adjusting the seat to accommodate his much longer legs.
“I’m sure I still want to sell. It hasn’t been my home for fifteen years, and going through everything in there has made me realize that I need to put it behind me. That house is my past and I want to go forward into my future.”
How much of her past was she going to let go of? What they’d had before was a part of her past too, did that mean that once their year was up that she was going to let him go too?
He put the thought out of his mind. A year was a long time and there was no point in worryin
g about it when he needed to focus on what was going to happen now.
The car ride passed in silence, but it didn’t have the same uncomfortableness that the silences between them usually had. Were they finally moving toward a point where they could be together without feeling like they needed to fill the spaces with forced conversation or worse, an argument?
The sun was starting to set when Mason pulled the car into his driveway. Very soon the need to change would overwhelm everything. They had planned to run with the pack, and if that was still going to be what happened, they would have to get to the meeting spot soon. But for the first time in a long time, he didn’t want to spend the full moon running with the wolves he’d known his entire life.
They got out of the car and went into the house.
“Are we still running with the pack tonight?” He hung the keys on the tiny hook by the door and toed off his boots. He did his best to keep his voice casual as he turned toward her.
She bit her lip for a second, as if she was involved in some sort of internal debate. She took a deep breath, straightened her shoulders and walked up to him. He didn’t think his question was that complicated, and a puzzled frown drew his brows together for a second.
“I don’t want to run with the pack tonight. I want to run with just you.” She stepped a little closer to him and he was having a hard time thinking as she looked up at him with her large blue eyes. He was fine with them running together by themselves, since it was what he wanted too, but he was curious about why she did.
“Is there any particular reason you want us to run alone?”
Her mouth pulled up in a smile, and she stepped closer to him, stroking her hands over his shirt. God she was so close that it took all his will power not to pull her to him, but he wanted to see where she was going with this and kept his hands to himself.
She was so close now that he could feel her breasts pressed against him, and he put his hands on her waist. As if she was waiting for some signal, some sign from him, she moved her hand up his chest to curl it around the back of his head. She raised up on her tip toes and gave his head a tug.
He needed no encouragement to lower his head toward hers, and for the first time since the binding ceremony they kissed each other. Only this kiss was happening because they wanted each other, not because it was required to seal the promises they’d made. They stood in the middle of his living room, with the bodies pressed together and she sighed against his lips as she relaxed against him.
He put his arms around her tightly and lifted her up off the ground so he could kiss her deeply without getting a kink in his neck. Her scent was in his head, weaving a spell over him that made him want her more than he’d ever wanted her before. The last time they’d been together seemed like such a long time ago. How different would it be this time around, now that they’d had time to mature?
If the kiss they were currently sharing was any indication, when they finally made love to each other it was going to be hotter than anything he’d ever experienced. The urge to take her was so strong that he didn’t know how he was going to wait until after the run, but he knew he needed to. He wanted to take his time with her, to explore every inch of her body, and with the moon getting plumper by the second he knew he didn’t have that kind of time.
They couldn’t stand there kissing forever, so he lowered her to the floor and pulled his mouth away from hers. There was a fire inside him, and he wanted to quench it with her. Unfortunately they couldn’t indulge themselves physically now, since the moon was beginning to ascend to the sky. Soon enough the pull of the moon’s siren call would make the need to change so strong that it would blot out even his overwhelming desire to make her his.
“Does that kiss mean what I think it does?” His voice was a rough growl and already he could feel the pull of the moon tugging him toward his more animal nature. But this was important, and he wanted to be clear that they were on the same page.
She looked up at him and he could see there was desire for him darkening her eyes. Her tongue darted out to swipe across her lower lip, and a growl rumbled in his chest.
“It means that once our run is over, I have plans for you. Plans that definitely don’t include the other members of our pack.”
That was what he wanted to hear, and he couldn’t resist her. He pulled her to him to taste her again, and by the time he set her away they were both breathing heavily. He couldn’t do any more, since the moon was calling to him now. For a moment he wished that tonight wasn’t the full moon, since he wanted nothing more than to scoop her up in his arms and take her into his bed. He settled for taking her hand and walking with her to the back of the house.
9
Of all the times for her to decide that she wanted to make love with Mason, the night the full moon rose didn’t seem like an ideal one. The kiss they’d shared in the living room made her want him all the more, but she could see by the amber glow in his eyes that he needed to change, and soon. The need wasn’t as strong in her. She was female, and there were times in the life of a female wolf when changing was more dangerous than not changing. That was why she wanted to enjoy this time alone with him during the full moon, because once she became pregnant, transforming into her wolf form would be a no no.
Mason took her by the hand and pulled her out on to the porch. His eyes were glued to hers when he pulled his shirt off over his head. This was the first time she was seeing him bare chested in years, and he was a sight to behold. She’d thought he’d been impressive when he was twenty, but now that he was in his prime, all that bare skin flowing over his big muscles was magnificent.
His hand went to his pants, and he stripped them away. His eyes were glowing in the dark and she was certain that hers were doing the same. She quickly and efficiently pulled her clothing off and embraced her change as the old, familiar feeling of transformation went through her. When she opened her eyes again, he was standing beside her in his wolf form.
He was much larger than her, much larger than a natural wolf. His eyes glowed amber out of a face covered in black fur, and she padded up to him and licked his face. She gave him a playful bite and took off down the porch and across the lawn.
She slowed and looked back at him, and gave a playful yip. He charged at her, and when he was close enough to almost touch her, she took off in a circle. She did it again several times, and on the last time when he nipped at her heels, she took off running into the woods behind the house. She gave a howl of excitement and he echoed it behind her. One advantage of being smaller than him, was that although he was more powerful than her, she was quicker.
The forest came alive for her as she ran amongst the trees. She loves this feeling, being at one with her surroundings and comfortable in her own skin. Things were so much clearer to her in this form. When she was a wolf she knew with certainty that she wanted the wolf currently chasing her in the trees and that she was eventually going to let him catch her.
But not yet. She knew that what he loved most was the thrill of chasing her and she was going to lead him around the woods until she decided that he could catch her. It was a game that wolves had played for centuries, and one she’d played with him years ago. She knew the outcome. He would get such a charge out of running after her in his wolf form, that his passion for her would flare to life once they were back in their human form.
She couldn’t count how many times during that fateful summer when they’d gone out for an innocent run, only to be so caught up in each other after that they’d made love in the woods with only the trees as their witness. Although, now that she was older, she would have to say that she hoped they could make it to a bed.
Through the trees the moon shown down on her, bathing the spots that it penetrated through the leaves in a dappled silver light. There was something else there too, and she skidded to a halt. In the surrounding silence, she realized how vulnerable she was. The only wolves in this part of the woods should be her and Mason, but the glow coming from the trees up ahe
ad told her otherwise.
A greenish, yellow orb got larger until it revealed itself to be a single eye, in the face of a grizzled gray wolf. It stood just in the shadows of the trees, and it was so like the nightmare that she’d had for over a decade that she started to tremble as fear rooted her to the spot on which she stood. This couldn’t be real, it couldn’t be happening. All she needed to do was close her eyes and she’d wake up. She’d find this was all just a twisted version of the dream that had plagued her since she left East Brook fifteen years ago.
She closed her eyes and when she opened them again, nothing had changed. She was still in the woods, and he was still standing there, as big and menacing as he’d always been when he visited her in her sleep.
The sound of paws hitting the ground behind her grew louder, and when she turned her head, Mason came barreling into the clearing. She turned her head back to face forward and the shadow wolf was gone, as if he’d never been there. Sniffing the air did no good, since if there was someone there, he was standing down wind and all she could smell was pine needles and Mason as he came up to her.
She remained frozen to the spot she’d been in, and as if he sensed something wasn’t right, Mason came to stand in front of her. He blocked her with his big body, and his hackles raised as he lowered his head. She didn’t need to see his face to know that his lip was curled back as a snarl issued forth out of him.
If there was anything more than an imagined phantom in the woods it did not come out of his hiding spot. Had she’d imagined him? She didn’t think so, but if he really was there, what did he want from her?
They couldn’t stand there staring at nothing forever, and the mood of the run had been spoiled for her. It no longer seemed like a game, and even if there was nothing in the woods but shadows and tricks played by the full moon, she no longer wanted to be out here. She forced her feet to move forward, until she was by Mason’s side. She nuzzled him and tucked her head under his neck, and he got out of his fierce, ready for a challenge stance. He rested his head against her for a moment, and she could see that he was still scanning the horizon and testing the air, but if he saw or smelled something, there was no evidence of it in his demeanor.