“No. Never on purpose. I’ll make every effort not to.”
She stared at his chest to keep from getting lost in his eyes. “You’re asking me to be okay with sharing you? To be okay with no commitment?”
“Not sharing. I can’t even look at another woman without comparing them to you. You’ve gotten so far under my skin, I feel your kisses when we’re miles apart.”
She tried to blink away her confusion, but it clung to her like a disease. “Then why can’t you commit?”
“Because then I’ll be sure to fuck us up. It’s how I am Sophie. If I feel trapped, I run. I fight. I don’t want to do that to you.”
“But…” She looked into his eyes and saw that he was just as confused as she was. “You’re asking for a commitment without the commitment?”
He lifted one shoulder in a half-hearted shrug, a small smile curving his lips. “I guess so. I like you, Sophie. I more than like you. But I’m not like my brothers. I can’t just switch off the shit that goes on in my head. And I can’t switch off my feelings for you, either. You don’t have to answer now. Come with me tonight. Let’s go see the show, have a few laughs. No expectations of sex later. I just want to be with you and to stop feeling so fucking lost when I’m not.”
She pressed her forehead to his chest. His scent had already taken on an aura of familiarity and safety even though he was the least safe person for her heart. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, and she lifted her eyes to his.
“Please?” he said softly.
“God, I can’t say no to you,” she whispered. “That makes me weak and pathetic, and I’m not either of those things.”
“It makes you right there with me, Sophie, not weak or pathetic. Just too strong to walk away from whatever this is, because you feel the power of it, too.”
Her heart was racing, but for his honesty, not because he was jerking her around. He was right. She didn’t want to walk away, despite knowing she might get hurt. “This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever agreed to. It feels like I’m setting myself up to be let down.”
“I don’t want to let you down. These feelings are all new to me, and I’m trying to figure out how to handle them. The one thing I’m certain of is that I’ll never purposely hurt you.”
“Hurt happens accidentally. You hurt me when you handed me that bag.”
He winced. “I told you I’m not wired for love stories, Soph. But I didn’t mean that I only wanted you for sex. I was trying to think ahead, just in case. To protect you.”
“Just in case,” she said with a laugh, because she believed him. She understood that part of him. That was the easiest part to understand. “What are you wired for?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never known.” Something harsh flashed in his eyes—longing, regret, sadness?—she didn’t know which.
“Maybe together we can figure it out,” she suggested.
“I’ve gone thirty-plus years not knowing. Don’t take this wrong, but don’t hold your breath.”
“I’m done holding my breath,” she said. “I have to jump in with two feet and accept that this is what you can give me, but I don’t have to give up on making this the year you figure things out.”
He exhaled as if he’d been the one holding his breath. “Thank you.”
“Now kiss me and make all my thoughts go away before the legal girl in me reads us the riot act.”
Heat rose in his eyes again. “Does this legal girl wear tight black skirts and fuck-me heels?”
Smiling, she said, “Shut up and kiss me before I change my mind.”
He lowered his lips to hers, and despite all the unknowns, the power of their kisses worked their magic, easing the tension that had been running so high between them and turning into something much bigger, hotter. Something inescapable.
BRETT HAD BEEN gutted when Sophie had said she couldn’t be with him, and for the first time in his life, he hadn’t hauled ass to the gym or taken off for a head-clearing run. He hadn’t been able to walk out the fucking door—and he hadn’t wanted to. Now, as they hurried to catch the comedy show and he helped Sophie from the cab and pulled her into his arms, he thanked his lucky stars that she hadn’t sent him packing.
“I thought we were already late,” she said as he gazed into her sparkling eyes.
“We are, but this’ll just take a sec. I’ve never met anyone like you. Some people hold grudges; others walk away and never look back. Thank you for not doing either. You make me want to be a better man, and I want to try. I might be miswired, but I’m not an ass on purpose. I’ll make up for hurting your feelings. I don’t know how, but I’ll figure it out.”
Her gaze softened. “Thank you.” She wound her arms around his neck and said, “You can start by kissing me again.”
“I don’t know what I did to deserve you. Why are you so forgiving?”
“Because I believe in following my heart, and after listening to all the things you said to me tonight, my heart tells me that you’re worth believing in, even if it’s hard.”
Several passionate kisses later, they made their way to the back of the building.
“Why are we going in the back?” she asked as they approached an unmarked door.
“We don’t have tickets, but my company handles security for the theater. We have a standing invitation.”
“I wish I had changed my clothes, or at least freshened up my makeup.”
“You’re gorgeous, and you look hot. If I weren’t trying not to be an ass, I would have bent you over your foyer table and—”
She covered his mouth. “Stop. Don’t get me all revved up before we go in there.”
He chuckled as he knocked on the door. Ryan, an Elite Security employee, answered the door and stepped aside to let them in. “The seats are all taken. You’ll be on the floor.”
There was nothing fancy about the small venue. Chairs formed an arc around the stage area, though there was no actual stage. Once those seats were sold out, people stood in the back or sat on the floor.
“Thanks, man,” Brett said as they made their way past him, toward the stage. As they neared the curtains separating the back area from the stage, he whispered, “Do you mind sitting on the floor?”
Sophie shook her head. “It makes it even more fun.”
He pressed his lips to hers, smiling against her lips as he said, “I’m so glad you didn’t blow me off tonight.”
“If you keep kissing me, I’m not going to want to see the show.”
Man, he liked hearing that.
They snuck into the theater quietly and sat on the floor by the stage. Brett pulled Sophie tight against his side. He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she watched the show. She laughed unabashedly, and she had the most infectious smile. She turned that smile on him, and his heart beat a little harder. Her brows knitted, and only then did he realize the place had gone dead silent—and the twentysomething comedian was standing in the center of the stage looking at them.
“Check out this guy,” the comedian said, eyes trained on Brett. “He comes in late, glues the babe to his side as if someone might abscond with her, and watches her instead of the show. Dude, really? Look at you. You have more muscles than Popeye, a face that could grace a billboard, and still you’re hanging on to her like she’s the best thing since crunchy peanut butter?”
The crowd laughed.
Brett tightened his grip on Sophie, feeling the eyes of every person in the place on them. He did not need this bullshit after the way their evening had started. He glared at the comedian, which only sparked amusement in the guy’s eyes. Sophie’s smile returned, but it was guarded, like she wasn’t sure if she should be smiling or not. Goddamn it.
“If I looked like you,” the guy said, “I’d be sleeping with every female within a fifty-mile radius.”
The crowd laughed, but the light drained from Sophie’s eyes, bringing fire to Brett’s gut.
“No offense to your gorgeous date, but come on. Like you have to worry?”
The comedian motioned toward his own body. “I’m five nine, one fifty. Girls think of me as a waiter, where you’re the entrée. One look at you and women probably cream their pants. Hell, dude, I’d sleep with you.”
Laughter rang out again.
Sophie smiled, a soft laugh slipping from her lips, calming Brett’s mounting ire.
“I like sex,” the comedian said as he paced, thankfully taking them out of the limelight. “Hot, sweaty sex, quick, dirty sex. Hell, it’s all good, right? Who here likes sex?”
The audience cheered. Brett and Sophie exchanged a secret vow of silence, her cheeks pinking up.
The comedian stopped walking, his amused gaze trained on Brett and Sophie again. “I think we have a problem over here.” A low laugh rumbled through the crowd. “You can’t tell me that two beautiful creatures like you aren’t banging the hell out of each other. How hot must that be? If I looked like you, dude, I would want to do it in front of a mirror just to look at myself.”
The audience roared with laughter, hanging on his every word. Brett’s eyes never left Sophie’s. If the guy only knew the truth. The second Sophie was naked, nothing else existed. Hell, the way she was gazing into his eyes right now, like she was trying not to laugh and thinking about him, heat pushed the humor from her eyes, and made him want to strip her bare right there.
“Your girl is hot, but do you even need her?” the comedian teased. “I’m straight as an arrow, but you know, I take off my shirt and girls laugh. They’re like ‘Oh. I thought you were one of those ripped guys, not just skinny.’ They must drool on you. How perfect would that be? Come here, baby. Aim that drool right here between my legs. Atta girl, lube it up.”
Laughter filled his perfectly timed pause.
“Seriously, though. Everyone else in here likes sex, and you two…don’t? Oh man, I think I get it now.” The comedian crouched before them and lowered his voice. “Little Johnny’s got problems? He’s not always in the game?”
A hushed laugh rolled through the crowed. Sophie’s eyes widened as she pressed her lips together, stifling a laugh.
“Ouch, man. I’m sorry. I hit a sore spot.”
Brett’s hands fisted. It would not be cool for him to deck the guy in his clients’ venue. He focused on Sophie and the if-he-only-knew look in her eyes. Her tongue slicked across her lower lip, heat sparking in her eyes. Oh, baby, you are so much smarter than me. He didn’t need to deck the guy to make his point, and his sexy girl knew it. He slowly threaded his finger into her hair. Neither one of them blinked, and when he pulled her mouth to his, everything else faded to black. She met every greedy stroke of his tongue with one of her own, unleashing all the emotions of the last couple of days—last couple of years. He took the kiss deeper, wanting to taste all of her, to wash away the fear that had crashed over him earlier when she’d said she couldn’t be with him. Then her hands were on his face, holding his mouth to hers, and he hauled her closer. She was soft and eager. Pleasure radiated through his limbs, and his thoughts fragmented. He angled her mouth beneath his, intensifying the kiss, and she made one of her sinful noises, slowing him down just enough to register the crowd cheering and clapping.
Fuck.
He’d lost track of where they were. He forced himself to break their connection, but his eyes remained locked on Sophie, captivated by the raw emotions staring back at him. The comedian said something, and all around them laughter erupted, but Brett and Sophie were in a space and time all their own. Their synergy was hotter and darker than anything he’d ever known, and he wasn’t about to let it fade.
He took Sophie’s hand and drew her to her feet. She was grinning and laughing as the comedian said something about there not being any problem with the goods tonight.
Sophie went up on her toes, placed her free hand on his cheek, and said, “Kiss me,” in that pleading voice Brett couldn’t resist. As their mouths came together, more cheers rang out. They both laughed into the kiss as they stumbled through the curtains toward the back door.
Twenty minutes and one steamy cab ride later they were still making out, kissing their way out of the elevator in her apartment building. They barely made it into her apartment before their clothing went flying through the air. Brett tore open the bag on the table by the door and quickly sheathed his raging erection, while Sophie fondled his balls with a hungry look in her eyes.
“Fuck, baby,” he growled as he lifted her into his arms and she sank down on his shaft, righting every upended thing inside him.
“Kiss me,” she pleaded. “Don’t stop kissing me.”
Christ, her words, her voice, her mouth had the most devastating effect on him. His insides softened, while his cock throbbed to painful proportions. Even being buried deep inside her wasn’t enough. He needed to feel more of her, all of her. He carried her into the bedroom, stripped down the covers, and lowered them both to the mattress. His body sank into hers. Their legs, their chests, and all their parts in between became one as their kisses turned fierce. When they were close his world felt right, his demons remained at bay, her sweetness filled all the empty spaces inside him, and his ability to think whirled away as she shattered around him. Her sex pulsed and clenched as she moaned into his mouth, and he followed her over the edge, catapulting into a world of explosive sensations.
When their mouths parted, they were both barely breathing, but the pull was too strong, and his lips found hers again in a series of intoxicating kisses. He didn’t want. He didn’t need. Everything he craved was right there in his arms.
A million kisses later, after he took care of the condom and Sophie lay tucked into the confines of his body, she whispered, “Hold me until I fall asleep.”
As she snuggled against him and drifted off to sleep, Brett struggled with the urge to do the same so he could wake up with her in his arms. He’d never understood how his brothers could turn off their desires toward other women, but ever since his and Sophie’s first kiss, she’d been the only woman he noticed, much less thought about, and the only one he wanted.
Who am I kidding? He pressed his lips to her cheek, and she murmured something in her sleep. There’s been only you for a hell of a lot longer than that.
Chapter Seven
SOPHIE WAS PRETTY sure that the world had taken crazy pills while she slept, because Monday at her office was more chaotic than ever. The phone rang off the hook, Mick had an emergency meeting with a client, which meant she had to race through preparing the documents they needed, and she had a stack of contracts to work through and research to do for tomorrow’s meeting with a new client. To top it all off, Brett and Carson were there with several of their staff members, checking security on each of the computers. Every time she caught sight of Brett she blushed like a schoolgirl. She’d been trying to keep her nose to the grindstone, but she felt his presence like a shadow, even when he was nowhere in sight.
“Sophie?” Mick’s voice came through the speakerphone.
She picked it up. “Yes?”
“I left the Mortinson files on my desk. Can you please bring them into the conference room?”
“Sure.” She hung up the phone and headed into Mick’s office. He was a considerate, intelligent boss, and she liked working for him. She felt a little guilty for keeping her relationship with Brett a secret from him, but there was no need to rock the boat with their commitment not to commit.
As she picked up the file from Mick’s desk, a pang of sadness whispered through her. She believed in following her heart, but what if her heart was wrong? She held the folder against her chest and gazed out the window, thinking of how nice it felt to fall asleep in Brett’s arms. She wished he’d stay overnight, but she knew it was probably better that he didn’t. Waking up with him would make it even harder if he realized he couldn’t commit to their noncommitment after all.
If I feel trapped, I run. I fight.
She saw Brett’s reflection in the window as he snuck up on her, and her body thrummed with anticipation. He slid his arms
around her waist from behind. His eyes were soft and happy, and a sexy smile played at his lips as he placed a sweet kiss on her neck.
“Did you get my note this morning?”
She’d found a note beside her bed and had read it a hundred times. Hope you slept well, Sexy Sophie. I really don’t like you only for sex, even though it probably looks that way. I guess asking you to meet me in the break room today would make that even harder to believe. He’d added a winking smiley face. The note was pure Brett, and even knowing she’d never make out in the break room, she’d dressed in a black pencil skirt and a white blouse that was just tight enough to show off her assets, and she’d added a pair of black heels, because if she couldn’t be the bad girl, she could at least drive her Bad man crazy.
“Oh, that was you?” she teased. “I was trying to figure out which of my lovers had left it.” She turned in his arms, enjoying the jealousy shining in his eyes. “You shouldn’t hold me like this at work.”
“Why not? Because of the friend you met yesterday afternoon?”
Shoot. She’d forgotten about that excuse. She peeled his arms off her and said, “Because I don’t need Mick or anyone else finding out about us and making things uncomfortable.”
He gathered her close again with fire in his eyes. “What if I want them all to know?”
“All? Or just that friend you mentioned?” She should tell him there was no friend, but she liked knowing he cared enough to be jealous.
His eyes narrowed and he ground out, “Everyone.”
“Then you’d better get over your commitment phobia, because I can’t chance making my workplace awkward for a guy who might run scared when things get serious.” She stepped out of his arms, but he snagged her hand and held tight. “Brett, I have to get these to Mick before he thinks I’ve gotten lost.”
“Soph…?” His eyes filled with a curious, deep longing, and the troubled gaze hit her smack in the center of her heart, making her want to walk right back into his arms.
“Relax. I’m with you, regardless of who else knows. I don’t want to cause gossip in the office, but I’m in, remember? You’re the one who’s a little slow on the uptake. One day you’ll wake up and realize I’m the best there is. Until then, no kissy-touchy in the office, okay?” With a sassy shrug, she left the room, wondering where in the heck that courage had come from.
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