by Paula Quinn
Her memory alone will carry me into the next life,
Where I’ll stand before the Almighty and ask of him what I know he’ll ask of me.
Give a reckoning of the man ye were and will be.
And I’ll say of my golden eyed lass—I am no a man without her—why did ye take her from me?
And if the Almighty doesna have an answer, I’ll no have one for Him…
It had stayed with her since the night of her wedding.
“I am uncivilized,” he admitted as he stooped in front of her. “Prone to rage and jealousy. The idea of another man touching ye, kissing ye…” He dinna finish the thought, but slanted his mouth over hers, testing her willingness to kiss him back.
At first, it dinna feel right. Alex had no right to touch her. But something burst inside her, a need she’d long denied. One kiss from Alex awakened it again, extracting it from the depths of her heart. She twisted her fingers in his hair, pulling him close. His scent and taste overwhelmed her senses. Could this be the turning point for them? Could their bodies provide the peace she sought between them?
He broke the kiss. “Ye still want me, lass.”
Damn him to the darkest depths of Hades. She’d like to slap that self-assured grin off his face.
She rejected his claim in the harshest way. “I willna turn down a kiss from a handsome man.”
He offered her a mirthless laugh before he fingered a strand of her hair. “I always loved the color of yer hair, lass. Black as night, the color of sin.”
She slapped his hand away. “Am I a sin, Alex?”
“Ye’re a sinner, that much I know.”
She stood up and brushed the grass from her backside, only too happy to leave him alone. “With yer permission…” She dipped into a curtsey. “I’d like to go inside.”
Something dangerous flickered in his eyes as he straightened. “Do ye know what I do with headstrong women?”
“Alex…”
Keely turned and found Jamie standing a few feet away. The man had saved her from further humiliation.
“I asked ye to leave us alone,” Alex seethed.
“The council,” Jamie said. “They wish to speak to ye, now.”
“Magairlean!” he cursed.
“I am sorry,” Jamie offered.
“I will go, but stay with Keely. She may take the air or return to her chamber.”
“I am glad our conversation is over,” she called after him, unable to resist the chance to needle him once more.
He spun around. “Which part, lass? When ye misconstrued love for lust?”
She could feel her face flush. Why did he have to repeat such intimate details in front of his cousin?
“There is only one thing ye need to know, Keely. At nightfall, ye are to be delivered to the great hall where a marriage ceremony will take place.”
Her heart thundered. “Who is getting married?”
Alex raised his eyebrows. “Do ye need to ask?”
“Tis my right to know if I’m expected to attend.”
Alex eyed Jamie, then looked back at her. “Ye’re the bride, Keely.”
Frustration and confusion collided inside her, and she stumbled as if something heavy had struck her in the chest. The air around her grew thick. When he had threatened her with marriage, she thought it a ruse. “Why?” He couldna do it. “Ye will not force me to wed anyone. I want to go home.”
“Look around ye, lass. This is home. Not Dunrobin Castle, and surely not yer sire’s house. Ye’re a MacKay, and by God, ye’ll die one.”
Her body shook uncontrollably, and then her legs gave out. “Nay,” she managed to squeak before everything went black.
Chapter Eleven
Alex caught Keely before she hit the ground. He carried her to the rocks and sat down, balancing her on his lap. “Foolish lass,” he said gently, smoothing stray hairs back from her face.
“Why do ye toy with her?” Jamie asked, looking far more concerned about Keely than Alex felt. “Ye dinna tell her the whole truth?”
“I was about to, before ye showed up.”
“Ye kissed her.”
“Why were ye lurking in the shadows?” His question came hard and quick.
“I dinna want to disturb ye.”
“Well, ye did.” Alex said, gazing at Keely’s motionless form. “The she-devil ran out of strength finally.”
“Keely isna what ye claim her to be, Cousin.”
“If I require yer opinion on the matter, I’ll ask for it.”
“I’ll speak freely with ye, Alex, or not at all. Is it worth all the trouble? Torturing the lass, yerself?”
“I dinna start this,” Alex spat. “She did. John did.”
“And Laird John paid dearly for his part. He’s dead and buried. Will ye sacrifice the woman ye love to satisfy yer sick need for revenge?”
Alex burned to settle the argument with fists not words. But Keely … he couldna put her down. “Enough!” He dinna love Keely. That much he knew. But he did feel something for her…
Jamie held his hands up in mock surrender. “As ye command, milord.” His cousin’s words were thick with sarcasm.
“Tread carefully in the future, Jamie. Now why are ye here?”
“The council is waiting for ye.”
Another opportunity for Mathe to preach to him about his lack of morals, or for Father Michael to advise him on how to save his soul? Alex had done his penance by accepting the lairdship. The council existed at his pleasure. A tradition generations of MacKay lairds had honored. The people deserved representation, and if anyone had a concern, they could reach out to a council member who, in turn, would present the issue to Alex. But if they continued to abuse their power, Alex would dissolve the council.
“Ye should take her inside,” Jamie said.
Alex nodded and tapped her cheek. “Keely? Can ye hear me, lass?” She dinna move. “Keely?”
“Let me take her,” Jamie offered.
“Wait.” Alex gave her a gentle shake, but there was no response. “When did she have her last meal?”
“I doona know exactly.”
In truth, Alex never meant for this to happen, to shock her into submission aye, but never to physically harm her. For a brief moment, he felt unbelievably close to her, as if the last five years of bitterness had melted away and the old Keely he loved and trusted was there. “She’s exhausted and hungry. Take her abovestairs and stay there. I’ll send Leah with food and some water. She’s had an emotional shock.”
Jamie collected her, cradling her in his arms. “She’s yer wife, Alex. When will ye treat her as such?”
“There will be no mistaking what she is to me once we consummate this marriage. I canna change the law, Jamie. But I willna pretend to love the woman who betrayed me and dishonored the clan by abandoning John on their wedding night.” How many times did he need to repeat himself? Everything he did was justified. Keely would learn the hard way. She would pay for her misdeeds.
“Did ye ever think Keely felt something in her heart, that deep inside she knew it wouldna be right to bed yer brother?”
“How could she? I dinna know anything about the law until Petro told me.”
“Not direct knowledge, ye dolt.”
“Would it change anything?”
“If I were in yer position, aye. The lass did what her sire commanded, what yer father made her do. She’s innocent. A political pawn in a long history of alliances made through arranged marriage.”
Alex rejected his explanation. “I recognize my father’s role, Jamie. But her guilt is of a different nature. We were promised to each other. And instead of trusting me, she sent me away. Do ye know how many years I’ve suffered wondering about what happened? Why the lass rejected me?”
“So ye finally admit that ye love her.”
“Loved,” Alex emphasized.
“That’s shite,” Jamie challenged him, again.
Alex growled with disapproval. “Watch yer tone, cousin.”
“Just yesterday ye demanded I marry the lass. I pity the girl. For she doesna know what man will be waiting for her in the great hall. I am sure once she finds out, yer marriage bed willna be as pleasurable as ye think. Ye’re a fool to take advantage of her.”
“Take her away,” Alex dismissed him.
Jamie did as he was told, leaving Alex alone.
Curse it all. Alex dinna like feeling trapped. But he was. And no matter how appealing that trap was, he still wished to be on his ship. Happiness would be reserved for their bedchamber, found only in their mutual pleasure.
His father and mother had shared a loving relationship, but after birthing two children, his da sought comfort elsewhere. Alex would have none of it. He’d ride his beautiful wife every night until she admitted she still loved him.
And once she was with child, he’d return to Constantinople. Fate had him by the bollocks, but he’d fight back. He tucked the treasured missives in his tunic and walked back to the keep.
Once seated at the high table with the council, Alex eyed Petro with curiosity. What had the scholar revealed to his captains?
“Thank ye for coming, Alex,” Mathe said. “We are encouraged by what Petro has told us.”
“And what is that?” Alex asked.
“Ye’re already wed to Keely Oliphant. No man can undo what the Almighty has sanctioned.”
Alex chuckled. “What if I disagree?”
Mathe shot him a look of disgust and crossed himself. “Do ye accept the laird’s chair? Will ye lead Clan MacKay with honor? Provide protection, administer justice, and walk in faith with God? Give us an heir?”
Alex looked from one captain to another. All good men, all trusted advisers to his father. Jamie was the most inexperienced. Something his father had insisted on years ago, keeping a younger man on the council. Everyone must be heard, his father had said.
“I accept. And tonight, a wedding will take place. Spare no expense or effort. I doona wish my lovely bride to mistake her wedding for a simple celebration. She must know what is expected of her. Clan MacKay has a new laird and lady.”
The council and Petro applauded.
Fools. If they only knew what Alex had given up, how many of his dreams had been stripped away in the few days he’d been home. As he stood, the members surrounded him, offering congratulations. Alex graciously received their well wishes. He needed all the blessings he could get.
Petro embraced him, slapping his back. “A wise decision. And as all of these fine men have done, I, too, pledge my life to you, Alexander.”
“Good,” Alex said. “Take five men and ride to the beach. Bring my warriors home. I wish them to stay in the Highlands.”
“Even Nasim, Kuresh, and Cyrus?”
“Especially them.”
“Alex…” Petro started. “Few from this part of the world have set eyes on men from Constantinople. I am from Italy and stand out.”
“I doona care. They are essential to my success.”
“They are slaves.”
“Nay,” Alex said. “They are freemen as of today. I will reward their loyalty with lands and wives.”
Petro approved of his choice and bowed. “As ye wish, Laird Alex.”
*
Hours after her conversation at the loch with Alex, Keely flatly refused to eat a bite or to allow Leah to help her into the beautiful gown meant for her wedding. “I’d rather starve to death and have birds peck away at my innards than marry a man I doona know.”
The maid sighed. “If I could help ye escape, I would, Lady Keely. But Laird Alex has doubled the guard at yer door and around the keep. I believe he intends to make sure ye fulfill yer duty this time.”
“This time…” she mocked, not meaning to slight Leah. “I am sorry. Tis nothing against ye.”
“I understand.”
“I am tired of men deciding where I can go and what I must do.” She sat on the edge of the bed, gazing across the chamber to the hearth. “Men are more destructive than fire, the source of all the misery in the world.”
“Do ye really think so?” Leah crawled behind her with a comb, sat down, and began to smooth the tangles out of her curls. The lass had gentle hands.
“Is there any other creature on God’s earth that can so easily crush ye?”
“I-I doona know, milady. I’ve never considered such things.”
“Think of the oppressed and suffering.”
“Is that what ye consider yerself?”
A fair question. Keely scooted out of reach, hugging her center, contemplating an honest answer. When had life in the Highlands been easy for anyone? At least she was the daughter of a prosperous laird and clan. She’d never gone a day without food or shelter. There were always clean, warm clothes and shoes for her to choose from. Servants did her bidding. Guards protected her. Nay, she’d misspoken out of anger.
“Forgive me, Leah. I am fortunate. War is the fault of men. And the innocents who get killed or displaced as a result of their violence are the true victims of oppression and suffering.”
Leah nodded. “Aye. Laird John always welcomed those without a home—cared for the sick and helpless—fed and clothed orphans—and never mistreated his servants. Some men are kind and gentle. I hope Laird Alex will be the same.”
Keely swallowed the less-than-favorable opinion she had of Alexander MacKay. Why destroy the lass’ hope? In all fairness, Keely couldna say what kind of laird Alex would be; she could only judge him based on the way he’d treated her. But there were reasons for his actions. Good reasons. Things she must accept responsibility for. And John, too. They’d both failed Alex in the worst way imaginable. Did it come as any surprise that he despised her? Tears burned her eyes.
“Lady Keely?” Leah squeezed her shoulder. “I willna let anyone harm ye.”
Keely sniffled. “Thank, ye. Ye’re the only friend I have here.”
“In time,” the maid offered, “the other women will acknowledge how good ye truly are.”
“Let us talk of something else. No one has told me what man I am expected to marry.”
Leah’s demeanor changed immediately.
“Leah? Do ye know something?”
The maid shook her head.
“Please.”
“I am sworn to secrecy, milady,” she said.
It wouldna be fair to press the girl. “What can ye tell me?”
“The great hall has been transformed into a lovely sight,” Leah said. “Wreaths of heather, candles, and bouquets of flowers for every lass. Laird Alex called for the silver to be cleaned and used for the feast table. The kitchens are bustling with twice the number of servants—Cook feels like a king, I think. He’s never felt so important. There’s boar and venison, even a lamb for the high table. The sweetest wine and best ale have been brought up from the cellar. All of the captains and their families have been invited, and there will be meat for all of the tenants and servants. Such generosity has not been seen here in a long time, Lady Keely.”
Leah had described a joyous occasion, not a forced marriage between two strangers. Not her wedding feast. It couldna be. Why would Alex go to such lengths to please her? Then she remembered—Jamie was the likely groom. All of the fuss was over him. He deserved a memorable wedding. It dinna matter who the bride was.
The idea of spending her life with Jamie dinna disappoint her as much as it should. He was young and strong, well-thought of, handsome, a member of the council, and Alex’s closest kinsman. The association with Alex did bother her. Every day for the rest of her life she’d have to see Alex—eat at his table, speak with him, listen to Jamie’s stories about him, eventually meet the woman he’d fall in love with and marry, and children would follow … many, she guessed. Alex’s virility and
passion had scarred Keely for life.
Any man she loved after would fall short of her expectations. If she could even love again. She wandered across the room to the hearth. She studied the beautiful tapestry crafted by Alex’s mother. It captured the beauty and savagery of the MacKay holdings in every masterful stitch, down to the tartan-clad warriors guarding the north face of the keep. Keely closed her eyes and tried to imagine where she fit in, if her future could be intertwined with the scene depicted in the tapestry.
Could she be happy here? Accept being married to the laird’s heir until Alex produced his own son? Would she finally love again? Accept a second chance at life and grace? Because until now, she had been living in the shadows, hidden away at Dunrobin Castle, a secret even her sire hadn’t known. Aye, he knew she was safe, but her location had been withheld. In the five years she’d been away, only three missives had been sent to her father. There’d never been a reply, only a verbal acknowledgement that he understood she was alive.
In this moment, Alex was offering her an olive branch, the right to walk free again, to be a wife, perhaps a mother, and to live as a MacKay. She looked back at Leah who sat patiently on the bed still.
“Is Jamie my intended?”
“Lady Keely, please doona force me to answer any questions about who the laird has chosen for ye.”
Even if she could stomach the notion of marrying again—she struggled with what followed … the marriage bed. Heat spiraled up her body. Something so sacred should be shared with a man she loved. A man she chose, not someone Alex, her father, or anyone else designated.
“The gown.” She attempted to focus on something else. “Show it to me, please.”
A slow smile warmed Leah’s face as she got up and retrieved the delicate dress from the back of a chair. The maid held it up. “The color suits ye.”
Aye, light green wool with silver threading and silver beads. There were matching slippers on the floor. “Where is the bag I travelled with?”
“I put yer garments away already.”
“I had jewels.”
“Aye. In the chest over there.” The maid pointed to the far wall where two trunks were situated.