Nicole went to her room and I sighed and took off my jacket, hanging it carefully over the shower in the bathroom because everything was dripping so much. In the living room, I sat on the couch and rubbed my eyes. When I sat back though, I couldn’t help smiling. I loved Nicole’s apartment; the warmth and hominess and bright colours. I’d only been there a couple of times and yet it felt so familiar to me.
“Will you stay a while?”
I turned my head and Nicole was standing there in a slip of a tank top nightgown that was almost sheer, a thin gold necklace hanging between her breasts. Her hair was still damp and the rain had made it frizz up and curl so that it fell in ringlets and twisted around her face. Her cheeks were rosy, her lips red. I couldn’t seem to breathe.
“Please.” She came around the couch and I couldn’t think of a single worthwhile thing to think to say as she climbed on top of me, straddling me on the couch. I cradled her cheeks between my palms and she lurched forward and we kissed, long and deep. “Just pretend a while longer.” She ran her hands up under my shirt and I took it off, her palms warm on my cool skin. “Please, Justin, please…”
I wrapped my arms around her and she ground down into me, making me hard. “Yes,” I breathed. “God, yes…” The gold of her necklace was hot between us and I traced it with my fingers, my hands wandering everywhere. I squeezed her ass through her little nighty and pulled down the thin straps, ducking my head to kiss her shoulders, her collar bone, her breasts. I licked her skin and ran my tongue along that thin, gold chain, hearing her moan, already uncomfortably erect.
It was hurried but hot. She scrambled to unzip my fly and take my cock out, pink and throbbing with need for her. She plunged her tongue into my mouth and I sucked at it, moaning into her as she stroked me and my hand snuck under her nightgown. She wasn’t wearing any panties and just that made me even more aroused. I fingered her, gentle and then more firmly, feeling how wet and slick she was for me.
“Now, now,” she said shakily. “Right now.”
But I didn’t have to do much. Nicole sat up and then all at once she impaled herself on me and I groaned into her neck, gripping her tight, bucking up into her. She rode me, hard and fast, clutching my shoulders. I watched the gold chain shimmy and palmed her breast, sucking a kiss to her bottom lip. I wanted every bit of her and I was overtaken with a kind of ecstatic frustration that it was impossible to taste all of her at once, to have her in every position at once, taste her pussy and be inside of it at the same time. I wanted all of her, always, forever.
“I’m sorry I left you,” Nicole breathed in my ear. “I...Justin…”
The sound of my name on her lips finally made me come and I bit her shoulder, pulsing inside of her. She held me tight and even as I came down I plunged my finger inside her along with my still throbbing cock to finger her clit. She jerked in surprise and moaned into my neck, her fingers gripping me hard enough to bruise. I rubbed at that little nub of pleasure and felt her tense up, trembling and breathless as she came, sucking a hickey to my neck and writhing against me.
“I’m sorry you left too,” I whispered.
“I think we need to talk.” Nicole’s voice was soft but I couldn’t quite read the tone. As much as I’d felt like we were connected in this incredibly intimate and powerful way, I was still never sure exactly where we stood.
“We do,” I said.
We were lying in her bed, having made love two more times and another time in the morning after falling asleep in each other’s arms. I felt like every bone in my body had melted. If nothing else, we at least weren’t pretending this physical connection between us wasn’t very real. I’d been afraid of waking up the kid, but Nicole had locked her bedroom door when we retired to it and assured me that Tyler slept like the dead.
Now we were naked and sticky and Nicole was lying snuggled close to me. She was drawing little circles on my chest which was generally my very favorite part of being in bed with a woman after sex.
“I don’t know what you want,” Nicole said.
“Me either-”
Bzzzzz.
My phone was buzzing like crazy and I groaned and rolled over to grab it from the floor where my jeans had been thrown. My board wanted to meet. That sent up all kinds of red flags and my ears perked up.
Now? I texted my assistant.
She texted back that now meant now, yes even on a Sunday morning.
The fates were against us, I could swear. Well, I thought, maybe that was good. Nicole might have just been about to break my heart yet again. If so, I wasn’t too eager to hear it.
“I gotta go,” I said, stumbling to my feet. I’d intended on staying much longer, maybe trying to figure out if this whole thing was as real for Nicole as it was for me. But...my board. If they were about to vote me out, I needed to know about it. “My board is calling a meeting suddenly. I have no idea why.”
“Are you sure?” Nicole said, sitting up and covering herself with her sheet. “I mean, no, of course. You have to go.”
I pulled on my jeans and stood there, half-dressed and blinking at her like an idiot. “I’m not avoiding talking to you,” I said firmly.
“No, yeah okay.” She turned red and curled up small in the bed, looking forlorn. It made my heart hurt. “Joanie said we have an awards dinner we have to go to on Tuesday?”
“Yeah,” I said. I hated the idea of that. I hated anything that had to do with this stupid fake relationship suddenly. I wanted it to be over so a real one could properly begin. “Yeah, we do.”
“Well, I’ll see you then,” Nicole murmured.
I nodded, glaring at my own clothes as I got dressed. “Yeah, okay.”
Then I left.
This was getting frustrating. I felt like there was something Nicole really wanted to say. I was half-dreading hearing it, but I knew I needed to. I’d sent my driver home when he’d dropped me off at Nicole’s and now I just took a ride share straight over to Koinage. It was raining again and I was in yesterday’s clothes. Luckily, I had some clothes and toiletries stashed back in the office. I’d come to work straight from a one-night-stand several times. It was always good to be prepared. At least my new haircut made me look a little neater. I hustled up to my office and changed in my executive washroom, throwing on jeans and a clean button-up. I brushed my teeth and combed my hair and gave myself a quick electric shave. When I caught myself in the mirror, I thought I looked like a more settled version of myself. It was all a lie, of course. I didn’t feel “settled” at all.
“Justin.” My co-chairman, Richard, smiled warmly. If there was ever anyone who had been aiming to vote me out, it was Richard. My CFO, Susan, sat at his side. She looked steadily at me and nodded. I couldn’t tell if that was supposed to be a generally supportive nod or if it was supposed to mean something else.
“Richard.” I nodded at him and then Susan and the others who were all sitting around the big conference table on the top floor of Koinage. Only a couple of them were wearing suits, a few were dressed much more casually in golf shirts or sweaters, as if they’d just been stolen from their nice relaxing Sunday morning just like I had. “This is unexpected,” I said darkly.
“Stand down,” Richard said, chuckling. He held up a hand in surrender. “This is the good kind of board meeting.”
That was surprising to hear but I was still on guard as I looked back and forth between everyone. It was never good when the rest of the board outside the chairman (me) held a mandatory meeting on short notice. I sat stiffly in my seat. I felt a little greasy from not having showered after all that sex and running around in the rain and sleeping. My only strength, I felt like, was that I’d gotten a very good sleep. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d slept so well as in bed with Nicole.
“Justin,” Susan said crisply. “This board owes you an apology.”
“Huh?” I blinked dumbly at her and the rest of the board tittered. I felt like I was in the middle of a strange dream as they all stared at me.
“We know what the buzz has been recently,” Susan said slowly. “Enough to worry any CEO. The stock dipped, there was some bad press, suddenly you think we’re about to vote you out-”
“You weren’t?” I snapped.
“I won’t lie,” Richard said. “There were discussions. But those discussions were folly. We let ourselves panic. And we should have known better. We should’ve trusted your sense and acumen. We’re holding this meeting in order to apologize. I know it was short notice, but it did seem necessary to let you know sooner rather than later that we have full confidence in your abilities as CEO of Koinage and chairman of this board.”
They were all nodding in agreement, every single one of them. All at once I felt as if a weight I had not even been aware of was lifting off my shoulders. I sighed and slumped back in my seat. “Oh. Well...that’s great then.”
“We’re going to hold a vote,” Susan said. “Make it official. A vote of full confidence. We want you to know that we’re with you. That we fully believe in your vision.”
I grinned at that and finally fully relaxed, nodding in gratitude at every member of the board around the table. “Thank you. All of you. I appreciate that.”
It got even better than that, as it turned out. They went around the table and everyone told me exactly why they had confidence in me and talked glowingly about having watched me grow the company and that this latest spate of questionable press was just a blip, which it did seem to have been. But several of them mentioned Nicole and how much they liked her. They said it spoke well of me that I was with her. I had to agree and yet it tore at my heart to know it wasn’t real. Not yet anyway.
“So I know we all want to get back to our Sunday,” Susan said. “Let’s hold a vote. All those in favour of expressing full confidence in Justin King as CEO of Koinage and as chairman of this board, say aye.”
“Aye!” Every single person said it and raised their hand and it affected me much more than I would have thought, but then this was my company, by baby. It made me feel good to know what I’d grown was believed in. It certainly took a lot of the pressure off.
After the vote, Richard pulled out a couple bottles of champagne and we all had a quick drink to celebrate before breaking up the meeting. I drank some bubbly and let myself relax for a few minutes, chatting with some of the lingerers who had nowhere else to be except the golf course.
As much as this was significant, I still thought I needed to continue the “relationship” with Nicole for a while, if only not to reveal the game. But the press had been so good. And anyway, more than anything, I just didn’t want to let her go yet.
By the time I left Koinage on Sunday, it was somehow midnight. I’d felt so positive after the vote and revved up to work, I’d ended up pouring over the materials for the new app and looking at sales and revenue data and following up on a huge backlog of emails. By the time I got home, I was exhausted.
I hadn’t forgotten about Nicole, of course. I just didn’t know where we stood exactly. But I’d be picking her up on Tuesday for the New York Good Citizens Awards Banquet. I’d won a couple of honours from them already myself, but this year I was only going as a patron.
On Monday, I rolled into work feeling pretty good outside of worrying about things with Nicole. But I focused on my workday. I did make a little time to check in with her supervisor and make sure she was doing okay after having been out the week before. I was assured she was slipping right back into her groove and it made me feel a little better.
Monday and Tuesday passed by quickly. On Tuesday, I went home early to primp for the banquet. I had a new Armani suit I was excited about wearing and I wanted to mess with my new haircut. I did let my stubble grow in just a little bit if only because I loved the way it bristled along Nicole’s neck when I kissed her, though I supposed it was optimistic of me to assume anything would be happening between us that night. She’d said we needed to talk and we did. I just wasn’t sure what exactly she was going to say.
By six, I looked as handsome as I thought I was going to get. It was a cleaner look than I’d worn to that charity function but Nicole had been the star of that show. I was sure she would be for this one too anyway. At half past six, I took the elevator down and found Charlie waiting for me with the town car.
I was getting so used to these little drives to the Lower East Side to pick up Nicole. I was getting too used to all of it really. I didn’t know what would happen if it all went sideways.
At Nicole’s building, Charlie held an umbrella for me as I ran up the front steps and into the building to collect Nicole. I found myself skipping steps in my rush to see my girl again, even if she wasn’t properly my girl.
I’d sent a sitter ahead for Nicole. I liked at least being able to do that for her and now I heard voices on the other side of the door as Nicole let the sitter know what was what. I took a deep breath and smoothed back my hair before finally ringing the bell.
“Hey...Jesus, you’re beautiful.” That was me, blurting everything out like an idiot. But I couldn’t help myself.
I’d thought Nicole couldn’t get more beautiful than she’d looked in that burgundy gown but now she was wearing a classical ball-gown in crimson red. It made her pretty brown eyes seem even bigger and more doe-like than usual. Her dark, curly hair was piled on top of her head with little tendrils hanging down. I smiled fondly and tugged on one before kissing her cheek.
“Thank you,” Nicole said. I looked down at her and saw her eyes seeming sad. “We haven’t talked.”
“I know…” I nodded, clearing my throat. She’d actually texted me a couple of times and I’d put her off. “Let’s just get through his first.”
Nicole seemed disappointed by that and feeling pessimistic about the whole thing, I felt as if she was eager to let me down. The thought both made me sad and pissed me off a little. If this was all we were, well, she was getting paid for it. Handsomely. Why did breaking my heart have to be so important on top of it? But I put off my feelings and escorted her down the stairs and found Charlie waiting just inside with his umbrella.
“Joanie sent me a weird text,” Nicole said abruptly. The ride had been quiet. I felt a tension between us that I didn’t like.
“What was that?” I frowned. I couldn’t think what it could be that would bother Nicole.
“She said we should talk about the break-up,” Nicole said, staring out the window at the rain as the city blurred by. “She said we need an endgame. That it should be amicable and that we should say we’re friends when it’s over.”
“Oh…” I frowned and rubbed my knees. I felt like blood was rushing down to my feet. Joanie hadn’t said that to me. It had probably been an afterthought. “Well… What do you think?”
Nicole’s head jerked a little as she turned to look at me. She looked pissed. Well, I was pissed too. I guess we were pissed off together for very different reasons.
“Whenever,” Nicole said, her voice dry and crackling. She crossed her arms and stared straight ahead. “Whenever is fine. As long as I get my money.”
Chapter Thirteen: Nicole
I wanted to tell Justin that we should never break up. I wanted to tell him that we should keep being together except that now it should be for real.
Instead I snapped at him about my million dollars.
Because I wanted him to say it. I wanted him to want me and fight for me. I wanted him to breathe fire for me and to swear on his hoard and his life and his very nature as a shifter that he would never stop loving me. I wanted him to love me once and for all. But that wasn’t happening. And I was hurt. Sometimes when I’m hurt, I get pissed.
“Of course, you’ll get your money,” Justin said, shrugging.
He didn’t sound angry or hurt at all. Somehow that made it even worse. He was indifferent to me. That was so much colder than what I’d said. At least I was upset.
We didn’t speak for the rest of the ride but when we pulled up in front of the stretch of red carpet where photo
graphers and reporters crowded to record everyone who was anyone in New York arriving to congratulate themselves for being nice rich people, I slapped on a beaming grin as I let Justin help me out of the car. Suddenly, we were the perfect couple again. We were beautiful and flawless as Justin, looking more handsome than I’d ever seen him (and that was saying something), rested a hand at the small of my back. His driver held an umbrella over our heads just long enough for us to cross the sidewalk and get under the pavilion that had been set up in front of the hotel because of the rain.
Tech and business reporters shouted questions at Justin and we paused here on there on the carpet on our way in. I got asked just a couple of questions and I was generic, but I tried to sound witty, if saccharine. My job was to make him look good. And obviously, this was only about the job.
Earn your money, my mind said. For the first time, I felt sort of like an escort or a prostitute. There wasn't anything wrong with being a prostitute. I just wasn’t used to feeling like one. Justin had never made it seem like that before. But now…
So I did my job. I let Justin lead me around, his hand staying there at the small of my back like some horrible tease. I was angry yet I wanted him to keep his hand there, warm and firm, as if keeping me upright. I leaned against him and laughed when I was supposed to laugh and asked the right questions and made Justin look good and was generally charming. I dazzled and delighted. The harder I tried without looking like I was trying, the more pissed Justin seemed. It made me even angrier. Wasn’t this what he wanted? I was doing my job and he didn’t love me and where did he get off anyway? My mind was a riot.
The awards banquet passed in a blur of shrimp and filet mignon and speeches. I couldn’t follow what anyone was saying and somehow I didn’t need to. I just said the same few clever things over and over and kept laughing and smiling until a band started playing and people got up to dance. Justin watched them and turned to me, looking particularly icy.
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