So Selena stayed on the bench, knowing she wouldn't see him but hoping anyway.
Of course, instead of her welcome stray, it was the unwelcome one who found her.
Finn came out the back door, leftover bread and cheese from the noon meal in his hand, even though dinner would be served soon. He dropped onto the bench next to her, and she wasn't sure if she was relieved or disappointed that he'd put his shirt back on.
She clenched her jaw and chased away the fleeting thought, but it didn't stop the harsh sarcasm that spilled out when she turned to face him.
"Done showing off already?"
His eyes widened a fraction in surprise before the old smugness slipped across his smile.
"Well, I lost my favorite audience member. Thought I'd come back here and offer you a private demonstration."
Selena ignored the way her heartbeat quickened at the heated undertone and sharpened her glare. "I thought you were done with the meaningless flirting?"
"Who says it's meaningless?"
Selena growled because the part of her she'd locked away, the part that once dreamed of the attention of handsome men and the fairy tale of happy-ever-after, surged up in hope and longing.
Without conscious thought, her hand drifted toward the dagger at her hip and Finn held up both hands in surrender, cheese hunk still tucked in one palm.
"Sorry. You're right."
The affected leer disappeared from his face and his tone. He sounded genuine and sincere once again. "We're supposed to be working together. Antagonizing you isn't helpful. It's just fun to get a rise out of you when you're normally so composed. Sometimes I can't let sleeping bears lie."
Selena flexed her fingers and let her hand drop away. Sucking her bottom lip in to hide a burgeoning smile, she raised an eyebrow and asked, "Did you just compare me to a bear?"
"Mayybbe," Finn drew the word out then shrugged and dropped his hands. "You do remind me of a mama bear sometimes."
Selena had to fight harder not to lean in, not to let her guard down and enjoy the relaxed teasing now that he wasn't putting on a performance.
"Between you and Omal, no one is going to mess with any of your cubs at the outpost," Finn said with a grin. "Uh, maybe don't tell Nis or his hulking brothers that I called them cubs, though, huh?"
Selena laughed, and the sound startled her. It hadn't been all darkness and gloom the past few years, there had been good times and shared happiness. But the pressure of responsibility had slowly wrung those occasions of spontaneity from her life. Now, a smile or nod was the most acknowledgment she showed those fleeting moments of humor or joy.
The realization was sharp and painful. Selena took a few deep breaths to wrangle the sudden emotions.
When she finally risked glancing at Finn again, his gaze was thoughtful, and she knew he'd seen too much.
"It's funny, I was thinking earlier that Anes and Chel followed you around like baby ducks," she said with a forced smile in a failed attempt to lighten the mood.
Understanding sparked in his eyes and tilted his head in exaggerated thought.
"Which do you think would bother them more? Being compared to cubs or ducks? I'm running out of material to needle them with in training."
Grateful for the respite, Selena played along. "Ducks, definitely. Cubs might sting, but you're still calling them bears. Ducks aren't known for their aggressiveness."
"You've never tried to eat a quiet meal near a pond full of hungry ducks, have you?" Finn pushed up his sleeve to reveal a nearly imperceptible scar on his forearm. "Vicious, I tell you. Absolutely, vicious."
The laughter bubbled up again, and she felt guilty for a moment, sharing it with this stranger when she'd held it in for so long. But maybe it was easier to be just Selena around Finn, knowing he'd be gone before she had the chance to get used to him being there. There was no aura of authority or certainty she needed to maintain for his sake.
"If you really want to get under their skin, call them puppies. They hate that almost as much as Arun does."
"My brothers would probably dunk me in the nearest duck pond if I'd ever called them puppies."
"You have brothers?" Selena asked, curiosity piqued.
Finn's eyes shuttered, and his mouth tightened, and she knew he was calculating how much truth to share and how much misdirection to give.
"Yeah. Three. All older."
"You're close."
Selena didn't ask it. Didn't need to. If he was making any effort at deception, he wasn't doing a very good job of it.
Again he hesitated, his eyes unfocused as if looking past her to something only he could see.
"We grew up kind of isolated. They were the only friends I had. They're still my best friends. We lost our parents a few years ago, and it set us all on different paths. I don't see them as much as I'd like, anymore."
The pain drew his voice tight, and Selena swallowed against her own grief. Without thought, she reached out, curling her hand around his bare wrist and squeezing.
"We lost our mother when we were young. Neither of us remember her. We were raised by an aunt for a while."
Of course, their mother's sister would have preferred they never existed. Told them daily they were a burden and an embarrassment to the family.
"When our father eventually remembered our existence and came for us... Well, I thought it finally meant getting a real family. But he wasn't what we expected. Or, maybe we were the disappointment to him."
Selena had no idea why she was telling him this. She never even talked about it with Arun. Maybe it was because of the grief, so different yet so similar to heartache, she carried. Or maybe it was because she felt like he deserved to have his honesty and vulnerability shared in kind.
"Either way, we weren't much of a family. Other than Arun, I never really had a family until I came here. Omal, Nis, Chel, Anes, Eloise. Everyone."
The softness she felt for all of them spilled over into her voice, and Selena swallowed around the lump of emotion. Silence stretched companionably between them, each lost in past pain and regrets.
Eventually, Omal's call to dinner echoed through the main hall and out into the garden. Selena's hands tightened, reminding her that her fingers were still curled around Finn's arm.
Jerking her hand away, Selena stood up abruptly, putting more space between them to give herself a chance to breathe and compose herself. For a few minutes, she'd let herself forget this was a stranger. A bard used to spinning tales and playing on people's emotions.
And yet, she wanted to believe him. Wanted to ease the dark loss and loneliness she saw in his eyes. Wanted to share her own hurt with someone who understood.
If she only had to think about herself, Selena might have risked it. Might have thrown caution to the wind and let herself fall for Finn.
But it wasn't only her, and he was too much of a danger to everyone else.
*****
Over the course of his week at the outpost, Phelan worked himself from sitting alone in the back corner of the room during meals to sharing a bench at the front. He used his charisma, helpfulness, and talent like a well-sharpened scythe, cutting through protest and suspicion so smoothly no one even noticed. He'd always been good at this part. Of slipping in, fitting in, using his charm as a weapon and as a shield.
Occasionally, a twinge of guilt pinched at his conscience, but it was usually easy to ignore. He lied and spied with a purpose. For the Milesan Isles. For Alwyn. For Caerwyn. For his people and his brothers and, ultimately, to protect even those strangers he used for his own ends.
But this time, he found it harder to separate himself. Maybe because he had just come from spending so much time with his own brothers. In recent years, Phelan had spent too much time away from them, and the reminder of those unbreakable family bonds made it easier to see those bonds in others. To respect how this ragtag group of misfits came together as a unique and unquestionable family. Nis, Chel, and Anes wer
e the extra overprotective brothers. In a weird way, and despite their relative youth, Selena and Arun had fallen into the stern parental roles, guiding the group, offering support and boundaries in equal measure. Omal was the sweet and strict grandmother who smothered them with love and a solid swat to the behind whenever necessary. Phelan found himself falling into the role of fun, mysterious, and roguish uncle. None of them had been born or trained to fight, but they learned fast, eager to prove themselves and take their place protecting the clan.
He'd seen the family bonds even before his conversation with Selena in the garden. But now, everywhere he looked, it drove the point home.
And that sense of connection and love and trust reminded him how much he missed his own brothers. How much he'd let himself drift from them in order to hide the risks he took. Phelan had started talking about his family to insinuate himself a little deeper with Selena. But much more than he'd intended to share spilled out. He'd managed to stop himself from sharing everything. Of talking about losing his real parents or the roll Hafgan played in the murders of the couple who'd fostered him.
Even without those details, he may have given too much away. He'd already sidestepped singing that damn song twice since arriving at the outpost. He regretted having sung it at the tavern at all, since it seemed to be one of Anes’s favorites.
The popular ballad laid out the details of every single one of his family's tragedies, yet managed to get everything horribly, painfully wrong. It was more lies than reality. Exaggeration for the sake of story with little care for the men whose lives had been torn apart by those events.
His unusual size and pale hair, despite having cut it short, coupled with his unwillingness to play the song might be enough for someone clever to start putting the pieces together. With the details he'd shared, well, Selena was more than smart enough to see the whole picture if he wasn't careful.
Phelan looked toward Selena in time to see her turn away. She'd been avoiding looking at him since they'd come in from the garden. Perhaps he wasn't the only one who'd felt the pull, who'd fallen under the spell. Who'd shared more than they intended.
His breath caught for a second, hope a tight cinch in his chest. Hope for what, he wasn't sure. Because there wasn't any future he could see not already compromised by the secrets and lies and agendas that pushed them onto very different paths.
Pulling his thoughts from the wayward and destructive path, he concentrated on charming his own dinner companions. Subtly prodding for any gossip or secrets that might reveal what Arun and Selena had really been looking for in that caravan.
The night fell into the same predictable pattern that had been shaped all week. Arun walked from group to group talking to everyone at some point or other. Mora followed him for a while but stopped to giggle and gossip with a gathering of younger girls watching Nis and some of the other men. Every night, the group played a game that seem to consist more of boasting and posturing than of skill. Arun even stopped to request a favorite song from Phelan before moving on to thank Omal.
Selena, as usual, slipped out into the garden for her evening vigil. Phelan continued to entertain until the room was half-empty.
Now, after a week of good behavior and carefully cultivated friendships, when Phelan left the meeting hall, no one followed him. Nis still eyed him suspiciously, but Phelan flashed a grin when he walked by, just to hear the bruiser grumble.
He no longer bothered going all the way back up to his room, either. He just tucked his instrument into an out of the way cupboard near the front stairs and transformed in the shadows of the training courtyard before searching out Selena. Except, tonight, he didn't change.
The more comfortable she got with the stray, the more he unreasonably wanted her to be that comfortable with him. With Phelan. Or, at least, with Finn.
After their quiet interlude, he should back off. But the magic of the full moon and the need to allay his loneliness overrode his good sense. So, tonight, recklessly, he headed around to the back garden in search of her without bothering to change forms.
She sat on her usual bench, and Phelan paused before moving closer. The moon rose above them, spilling beautiful light out over the garden and making her hair shine like fire.
She looked pensive and sad and just as determined, and that, more than her beauty, drew him to her.
Phelan kicked at a pebble, sending it skittering closer to let her know he was there. She looked up, hopeful, then guarded when she saw it was him, and the quick dismissal felt like a punch to the gut. He wanted her to be eager to see him the way she was with the stray.
But Phelan had to pretend he didn't even realize she was disappointed by him.
He forced an easy smile and sauntered over to sit next to her, in almost the same spot he'd been that afternoon. When he'd come so close to sharing too much with her.
"So, this is where you disappear to every night? Is it my singing that drives you away?"
"No. I just like a little peace and quiet after dinner."
She looked at him pointedly, but he pretended not to get the hint.
"Well, this is the perfect place for it. Though it's a little spooky, after dark." Phelan glanced around, pretending to peer into the shadows. "Don't you worry about any of the wild animals from the forest sneaking in?"
Next to him, Selena stiffened, and Phelan bit his tongue. Reminding her of the Hound was stupid. And the melancholy sigh that huffed out of her did nothing to improve his mood.
Before he could think of a way to dispel the pall that fell over them, something rippled along his senses. Selena's head jerked up, her eyes wide and startled.
He shifted his vision until the phantom trails of the local leylines came into focus. Except something was off about them. They'd darkened slightly as if ink oozed through the normally bright glow.
"What..."
Selena leapt off the bench before he finished the word. She ran toward the gate in the wall, tearing it open and rushing through without hesitation. For a moment, he considered shifting in order catch and get ahead of her. Whatever was going on, every instinct he had screamed danger.
But he wasn't ready to reveal that much about himself, yet. Instead, he chased after Selena in his human form. It might take a little longer, but he had no doubt he was still fast enough to catch her.
It didn't take long for him to realize they were heading straight for the spring. That whatever contaminated the leylines was centered there.
Selena stood, frozen at the edge of the clearing. A tortured sound grated in her throat and Phelan stopped behind her, hand on his sword ready to battle whatever might come.
Looking over her shoulder to find the threat, he saw nothing but the wellspring he'd stumbled over that first night.
The bright full moon made the carvings pop in stark relief and turned the steady stream of water into a silver ribbon sliding into the pool's calm surface. Nothing looked changed to his eyes, except the shadowed leylines.
But his nose twitched at twisted and debauched scents clogging his breath. The heavy tang of blood sorcery hung in the air. The scent of it had clung to the temple when Irana murdered his foster parents. Phelan had never let himself forget.
Along with it, anger burned the air with a scorched undercurrent of hatred.
There was also the sweet, metallic bite of blood that made his heart pound. Selena had been out of his sight for less than a minute, she couldn't be hurt.
Before he could figure out how to check Selena for injuries without getting stabbed with her dagger, he heard someone else rushing through the trees toward them.
Setting himself for an attack, he was caught off guard when Arun burst into the clearing, looking wild-eyed and furious.
-6-
DARKNESS snapped in the air. Something twisted and wrong. Selena knew exactly what it was, on a bone-deep level.
Sorcery.
The frantic race to the wellspring was a blur. In her desperate need to
stop whatever was happening, she didn't notice Phelan following her. Concern for what he might see, what he might figure out, never crossed her mind as she desperately focused on figuring out what happened.
Her attention shifted until she could see the crisscrossed channels of magic superimposed over her view of the clearing. Distorted, sickly lines of power radiated from the ley-pool, the spiraling circles of magic that joined together where the spring bubbled to the surface. The twisted sight made her heart stutter and, for a moment, the wrongness paralyzed her.
Her eyes tracked each line from where it flowed in and out of the pool, searching for what caused the pale corruption. Searched for a way to fix it. Vaguely, Selena became aware of Finn standing alert and tense at her shoulder. She knew her brother arrived only a few seconds behind them. But she didn't stir from her focused scrutiny of the clearing until Arun spoke to her.
"Selena, what was that? What happened?"
"I don't... I'm not..."
She closed her eyes, forced her breath to slow, to settle into a soft, even rhythm. When she felt steadier and looked again, the lines were already starting to return to normal on their own at the outer edges of the clearing. With a relieved sigh, she tracked the central, darkened lines of magic to their source a few feet beyond the pool.
A rock the size of her fist and so black it looked burnt lay at the center of the disturbance. Broken glass and drying blood stippled the ground around it. Selena's stomach twisted and, for a moment, she was back in the dank work room, surrounded by horrifying trinkets and the ever-present stench of blood.
Crossing the clearing quickly, she knelt next to the rock, careful not to touch it. There was something familiar, something from her brief time training. But it had been years ago, and she needed to be sure.
Mindful not to let her skin touch the blood or the stone, she leaned in as close as she dared and let herself sink into the darkest leyline. Searching out the hints of intention left behind, for a moment she let her awareness brush over the residual vibrations of magic until she was sure.
By Blood Betrayed (The Lost Shrines Book 3) Page 6