“Why not? If you can’t get along, just stay away from each other so we can keep the peace. Please!”
Dad nods. “I understand what you’re saying, but I’m just worried about the sort of ideas he’s –”
I groan and bury my head in my hands. “Dad! Please. Let it go.”
He looks at me. I tune out his thoughts and focus on the fear in his eyes. “I just need you to know that this world of his is not real. It’s a mixture of culture and superstition. It’s not solid. This is.” He waves a hand at the room and heaves a weary sigh. “Your mother would have dealt with this better. Maybe I’m too white.”
“Much too white,” I whisper with a smile.
He grins and shrugs. “Well, what can I say? I just want you to keep your feet on the ground. I want you to be careful.”
“Dad.” I reach across the table and put my hand over his. “Do you know me at all? When have I not been careful?”
“You’re right, of course.” His tone is sheepish.
I push the chair back and get to my feet. “Can we please stop having this conversation?”
He smiles. “I think we’ve filled the quota for the next few years.”
“Good.” I walk round the table and kiss his cheek. “Night, Dad.”
“Night, Connie.”
I can feel his eyes on me all the way down the corridor.
07:00
“The number you have dialled…”
Oh, for goodness sake, Lizard. Where are you?
As soon as the bell goes for lunch I head for the Form One classrooms. After a while I see Amantle and her friend emerge. This time I can sense something going on in their heads, but their thoughts are murky and unclear. I pass them, catch their gazes and smile. The other girl smiles back, but Amantle shoots me a suspicious glance and tosses her head. Now I can see why she and Kelly get along so well. I’m not going to get anything out of her, but her friend looks promising.
I hurry over to the bench. My friends are already there, Wiki unwrapping his lunch and Lebz looking on in distaste.
I collapse onto the bench beside them. “Is it my turn to get the food?”
Lebz hands me some money by way of reply. “Where were you?”
“Stalking Amantle. She’s not very friendly.”
“I told you.” Lebz scowls. “What do you want with her, anyway?”
“I told you something strange is going on with those girls.” I sit up straight and open my bag, looking for my wallet. “I intend to find out what it is.”
“Something strange?” Wiki looks up from his lunch. “You mean your kind of strange?”
I nod. “I told my grandfather about them and he thinks something is up, too. So I need to find out whatever I can. Amantle is too savvy to let anything slip, but I could probably get close to her friend.” I rummage around in the wallet and locate a few coins.
“Rose?” Lebz wrinkles her nose. “Well, maybe. She’s probably the nicest one, but you’ll never catch her on her own. She’s like Amantle’s shadow.”
“We’ll see.” I stand up, clutching the money. “The usual?” I take a handful of coins from Wiki and head for the tuck-shop.
I can now tune out the thoughts of the people around me by focusing my attention on something else. It’s not as easy as it sounds, but I can get about five minutes of relative peace and quiet before the thoughts start intruding again. Sometimes I just sit back and let them run through my head, like a silent observer. It’s incredible how much people think; constantly, about random things, as if their brains will rot if there’s more than a moment of silence. Well, I appreciate silence now.
I brace myself for the barrage of thoughts coming from the crowd outside the tuck-shop, but it’s quieter than usual. There are at least fifty kids here, but for some reason all I’m getting is muted voices and vague images. I shake my head and blink and the noise returns, but a few minutes later it fades again. What’s going on? As the line moves forward I keep my eyes on my hands, letting the thoughts drift around in the back of my head. I buy two packets of fresh chips and three soft drinks, then turn around to make my way back to the bench.
My heart jumps. Thuli is standing right behind me. My eyes travel up to his face. He hasn’t seen me. I don’t think I’ve ever been this close to him before. He smells of cigarettes; Lebz would be choking and spluttering on principle, but thanks to Ntatemogolo I don’t mind the smell. He’s not as tall up close; shorter than Lizard. His dreadlocks are held back with his school tie, and there’s a suspicious stain on his shirt.
I have to push past him to get out of the crush, but this might be my only chance to speak to him. I clear my throat, look at his shoulder and mumble, “Excuse me.”
He looks down, spots me and shifts to the left to let me through. “Sorry.” His voice is hoarse from years of smoking, but the voice of his thoughts is even grittier. I think I know this chick. There’s a flash of recognition in his eyes, and then, No, maybe not. He turns his attention back to the tuck-shop. Man, I’m starving. Then the lyrics of some rap song, and then, once more with passion, Man! I’m starving! and back to the song.
I walk away from the tuck-shop. OK, so I’m a little disheartened. I know Thuli is smart because he’s always part of the Syringa team for the Inter-School Maths and Science Fair, and I thought his head would be full of complex theories and stuff. At least he’s not thinking about sex, which is more than I can say for most boys.
“Finally!” Lebz exclaims when I approach, snatching her food from my arms.
“You’re welcome,” I say wryly, handing Wiki his drink before sitting down. “Guess who I ran into? He was right behind me in line at the tuck-shop. Our bodies were a centimetre apart.”
Lebz raises her eyebrows and talks through a mouthful of chips. “Not Lizard again?”
I flinch at her disgusted tone. “No. Thuli.”
“Oh!” She swallows and regards me with suspicion. “Why aren’t you excited?”
“I am excited.” I shake my packet of chips to distribute the salt.
“What did he say?” Lebz rolls her eyes. “Did he ask you for a lighter? I think that’s the only thing he ever says to me. ‘Hey Lebz. Got a light?’ As if I look like someone who wants lungs full of tar.”
“He said, ‘Sorry’.” I smile sheepishly. “I asked him to excuse me, because he was blocking my way, so he moved. It was nothing.”
Lebz and Wiki exchange glances. Wiki closes his book.
I blink at them. “What?”
“It was nothing?” Lebz is peering into my face as if she’s just noticed a giant zit. “You’ve been obsessed with this guy for three years! You finally get close enough to talk to him and all you have to say is ‘it was nothing’?”
“It’s not like you to be so casual about Thuli,” adds Wiki. “Unless…”
I put a chip into my mouth and give him an innocent stare.
“Are you over him?” Lebz shrieks, thrilled by the prospect.
“I’m not over him,” I protest, but I’m not quite sure. I still get excited when I see Thuli; butterflies, heart palpitations, the whole thing. But… I don’t know. Three years is a long time for unrequited love. Maybe I’m fed up. Maybe I expected to look into his eyes and see his soul. Maybe I thought I’d be overwhelmed by his genius. Maybe I expected him to react with a little more interest. What I didn’t expect was a rap song and commentary on his growling stomach.
“Oh my God!” Lebz gasps, eyes wide. “You read his mind, didn’t you? It was disgusting, or full of smoke. That’s it, isn’t it?”
I sigh. “Don’t be stupid. He had some song in his head – that’s all. I just…” It’s starting to hit me now. Years of anticipation. The million times I’ve imagined our first conversation, and the crushing disappointment of reality. “There was nothing. He looked right at me for the first time and there was nothing. No magic. He thought he recognised me, then changed his mind.” I start to laugh. “Changed his mind! Can you believe that? After all these
years.”
“He doesn’t know who you are,” says Wiki. “You can’t expect him to fall in love at first sight.”
“I know that.” I’m annoyed by his callous pragmatism. I know I’m no supermodel, but I’ve liked Thuli forever. I don’t think it’s possible to have that kind of intense emotion directed at you and not know it. “But how many times has he seen us together? How many times has he spoken to one of you when I was standing right there? And he doesn’t recognise me! I’m invisible!”
“Thuli has no taste and no sense.” Lebz reaches over to tuck a stray curl into my hair band. “But if he got to know you he’d love you.”
I nod and munch my chips, but I know she’s just saying that to make me feel better. I shouldn’t even be upset. Didn’t I want to be invisible, the average, ordinary girl? That’s what I get. Why would Thuli notice me when he can notice everybody else?
“It doesn’t matter,” I declare with more conviction than I feel. “I don’t have time to pine away after a boy who doesn’t even know my name. Listen Lebz, what do you know about this Rose girl?”
She and Wiki exchange glances again.
“Stop it,” I snap. “I’m not about to fall apart or something. Can we focus on Ma-fourteen, please?”
Wiki frowns. He’s thinking – no, I don’t know what he’s thinking. My telepathy is flickering again, like a light about to go out. I reach up to rub my temples.
Lebz puts her hand on my shoulder. “Thuli’s not worth your tears.”
“I’m not crying.” I raise my head. “My head feels funny.”
“Another headache?” asks Wiki warily.
“No, but…” Now the switch is back on and I can see and hear everything as clearly as ever. Strange. “Never mind, I’m fine. Forget Thuli. It’s about time I got over him anyway, right?”
“Right,” says Lebz, a little too eagerly.
I get to my feet. “I’ll be back. I need some water.” I feel strange. Not sick exactly, but not quite well. As I walk towards the standpipe near the school gate, the thoughts in my head flicker again. When I return, Lebz and Wiki are dead quiet and the other realm is hazy.
“Do you have feelings for Black Lizard?”
My heart jumps out of my chest, into my throat, then back down behind my ribcage with a thud. I gape at Lebz. “Are you crazy?”
“Are you?” she counters in dismay.
“Rakwena and I are barely even friends,” I point out in my most sensible tone. “Where did this come from? Weren’t you just telling me to forget about Thuli?”
She gasps and shoots a horrified glance at Wiki. “You were right! She’s already thinking of him as the rebound guy!”
“Rebound?” I’m completely confused. “Don’t you have to break-up before you can go on the rebound? And you need a relationship to have a break-up, so…”
She carries on as if I haven’t said a word. “God, it’s worse than I thought! I understand you’ve had a lot to deal with – telepathy, being disappointed by Thuli – but chasing strange men is not going to make you feel better.”
Chasing? Men? I let out an incredulous giggle. “Lebz, really…”
“I get the whole bad boy thing,OK?” she goes on, taking my hand. “We’ve all been there. It’s part of life and you grow out of it. I accepted Thuli, even though he’s weird and annoying, but Black Lizard is another story.”
“Lebz-”
“He’s creepy. It’s not even about the tattoo or that ugly-ass scar. He’s just freaky, you know? The way he watches you and says nothing, hiding in corners… Maybe he seems exciting to you and you feel like you can handle it because you’ve got powers and stuff, but trust me, you’re only going to get hurt.”
I glance at Wiki, who lifts his shoulders in a sheepish shrug. Then I turn back to Lebz. She’s genuinely concerned. “Lebz, relax. At least let me get over one guy before you start matching me up with another! I’m not interested in Lizard. We just… we have some things in common, that’s all.”
“Like what? Is he a telepath too?”
“No…” I sneak another look at Wiki, but he’s hiding behind his book. “He just knows a lot about this stuff. I can learn a lot from him.” I give her a reassuring smile. “And he’s really not that scary. You just have to get used to him.”
She’s not convinced, but she’s willing to let it go for now. “Hmm. I’ll keep my eyes on him,” she promises, wagging a finger at me. “If he messes with you…”
I have to laugh at that. Lebz can be feisty, but she’s all talk. “Thanks.” We don’t do mushy girl-bonding, so I poke her affectionately in the ribs. “What about you, Wiki? Can I count on you to slay dragons for me?”
“You mean lizards,” Lebz cuts in with a sly grin.
“The pen is mightier than the sword,” Wiki mumbles. Ri-ight.
I rather like the idea of someone defending my honour, but as the bell goes I remember that my honour isn’t in danger. As my encounter with Thuli has proven, I’m the kind of girl guys consider for just a fraction of a second. Ouch. I need to think about something else before the humiliation cuts too deep.
I try to zone in on the thoughts around me. Nothing. Wait, there’s a vague… no, nothing. What’s going on? Is something getting in the way of my telepathy, or is this just how it works?
I start to sense some vague sounds as bit by bit the clarity returns. Suddenly it hits me full force, making me stop in my tracks. Unfortunately I’m behind a rowdy group of boys. Sigh – I’m sick of hearing about Xbox and boobs. I push past them, inching towards my classroom, and come up behind a guy with earphones on. There are many downsides to telepathy, but nothing’s worse than being subjected to other people’s music. I can’t take any more lewd lyrics or brain-numbing beats. And what kind of a name is T-Pain, anyway?
I shake my head and take a deep breath to settle the noise in my head. I wish I knew where it went all of a sudden, and what made it come back.
Chapter Five
There are a lot more students in the library than I remember. More books, too. I come here occasionally to do research or look for the odd novel; it’s just been a while since the last occasion. Wiki leads the way, winding through the shelves without even glancing at the signs.
“Over here,” he whispers, pointing me in the direction of the books on Setswana proverbs. You might wonder why Wiki, who can barely greet in my second native tongue, knows where to find Setswana books. It’s not that he’s partial to languages or proverbs, he’s just partial to books.
“Thanks,” I whisper back.
He replies with a distracted wave, and I watch him run his fingers thoughtfully across the spines of the books as he turns the corner. He’s already forgotten I exist. I reach for the thinnest book and flip through it. It seems to have been written for primary school. It’s perfect.
My Setswana isn’t what it should be. After my mother died the only person I spoke it with was Lebz, but not often. My only close relative from my mother’s side is Ntatemogolo, and he was off dancing with wolves in Peru or someplace. When he finally came home, he was appalled by my cultural ignorance. He took me to the cattle post for a weekend and made me sit up all night listening to crickets chirp so I could get in touch with the earth. I learned a lot about crickets and cows, but not so much about culture.
“I didn’t know you were such a lazy student.”
I almost drop the book. My chest fills with a mixture of annoyance and relief, and I’m careful to wipe the smile off my face before I turn around.
Rakwena’s lips are curled into that smile that pisses me off, but some of his usual vibrancy is gone. “No self-respecting Form Four student would use that for an assignment.” He taps the book’s cover with the tip of his forefinger.
I snatch it away and glare at him. “Setswana is hard; everyone knows that,” I snap. Nevertheless, I slide the book back into its place on the shelf. “Where have you been?” I hope that sounded casual. I hope it didn’t sound as if I’ve been driving myself
crazy wondering whether he’s avoiding me.
“Sick.”
“Sick?” I frown at him, suspicious. “What was wrong with you?”
“Flu.”
“It’s summer.”
He smiles and runs a finger along the side of the shelf. “Were you worried? You sent me a million messages.”
“Not a million,” I protest in indignation. A few students send curious glances our way. I lower my voice. “I just wanted to make sure you weren’t backing out of our deal. You remember our deal, don’t you?”
“How could I forget?”
“So? When?”
He hesitates, as if he wants me to make the call. What is it with boys? I thought they were supposed to take charge.
“Today,” I suggest. “Lunch time.”
“After school. The usual place.”
I get a little shiver when he says that – the usual place, as if we’re having a torrid affair. I study him for a moment. He doesn’t look quite like himself; some of his swagger is gone. Maybe he really was sick.
He reaches over my head and pulls down a book. “Here. If you want your teachers to take you seriously, you’d better use books like this.” He hands it to me. It’s a thick monster of a book with a ghastly brown cover. The font is so small I might need to borrow Wiki’s glasses, and it’s written in grammatically correct traditional Setswana – the kind I get a headache trying to decipher.
My jaw drops. “It’ll take me all day to read the first page!”
“Good. It’s about time you learned to challenge yourself.” With that snide statement, he slinks away.
No wonder Lizard doesn’t have any friends. He’s a smug, self-righteous know-it-all. I march to the check-out desk with the book in my hand. I’m not taking it out because he suggested it; I’m taking it out to prove a point. Besides, I don’t have to read the whole book. Skimming was invented for a reason.
By the time the final bell goes I’ve worked myself into a state. I’m distracted, my telepathy is still off and I’m almost terrified to find out what Lizard’s skill is. What if it’s dangerous? My hands are shaking so badly I keep dropping my pen. Eventually I get my act together, pack up my things and head outside, and then I remember that I haven’t told my friends about my plans for the afternoon.
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