And then there was Mateer, a distant presence in her mind, warm, reassuring…
Megan debated with herself as she leaned on the shower wall. Straightening, she sent him a question. What did you mean today when you said you’d do anything for me?
Exactly that. His response was a bit rushed, as if she’d taken him by surprise.
Why did you say it was a complication?
The answer was slow in coming this time, which was unlike him. My loyalty has always been to Aydarr and my pack. Yet now I know I’d place you first, above them, because of my feelings for you, and the realization wasn’t anything I’d ever expected.
His declaration left her stunned. Cautiously she pursued the subject. Do you mind?
No. I just wish—And he cut the thought off ruthlessly.
Mateer. She had to ‘say’ his name three times with increasing vigor before she felt the communication channel reopen between them.
Yes?
How’s your back? She held her breath, hoping the answer would be the one she wanted but, as a doctor, she couldn’t risk hurting him.
Nearly healed. The wounds are all closed.
Then will you do something for me now?
An aura of understandable wariness came through their link, but he answered promptly. Of course.
Her heart racing a bit, she formed an invitation and sent it. There’s a place on my lower shoulder I can’t reach—will you come and scrub it for me?
Silence. Then a cautious answer. I can—I can keep my eyes closed.
She faced the doorway. Where’s the fun in that?
She heard his footsteps cross the floor—was her hearing becoming enhanced by the Badari blood too? Then he stood in the doorway, filling it with his large frame, and he stared at her with his eyes glowing slightly golden. His fists were clenched as if for self-control and the expression on his face as he admired her naked body was pure male hunger.
Smiling, Megan held out her hand. “Join me?”
He swallowed hard and fumbled with the fastenings of his severely torn jumpsuit. He worked his way out of the garment while she watched appreciatively, letting the water flow gently over her.
Before he allowed the clothing to slip from his fingers and leave him standing naked, Mateer paused. “I wear no undergarment.”
“Commando. Good, I approve.” Megan was fascinated by the size of his arousal, pressing against the fabric barely covering him. “I’m getting cold here.”
He grinned. “We can’t have that.” The uniform dropped to the floor and his cock jutted free.
She reached out to him, and he stepped into the shower, taking her in his arms and holding her tight, his arousal hard and hot against her body.
She reached up to frame his face with her hands, blinking a bit as droplets splashed off his hair. “I don’t know about this mates thing, but I do know you’ve become very important to me too. We’re a good team and I—I care deeply about you.” She drew him downward, extending her tongue ever so slightly in invitation as his lips met hers.
Mateer angled his head, allowing her entry into the spicy warmth of his mouth. Her tongue tingled as she explored him, savoring the closeness. She murmured her approval and pressed against him, not wanting any space between her body and the hard corded muscle of his. She ran one hand down his body until she was stroking the length of his manhood where it throbbed eagerly against her and then concentrated on massaging him in a way calculated to stoke his desire and arousal.
He still couldn’t quite believe she’d invited him into her arms like this. Knowing she trusted him, wanted him, the way he longed for her touch, rocked him to his core. He’d begun to despair of her ever feeling for him even a portion of the emotions he held in his heart. The joy was intense, rivalled only by the physical pleasure he was experiencing in her embrace.
Having Megan naked and eager, her breasts flattened against his chest, the warmth of her inner folds so enticingly close to his aching manhood, was almost more than he could bear. As they kissed, tongues dancing and dueling together in an erotic embrace, Mateer hung onto his self-control with every shred of hard won discipline he possessed. The urge to lift her and plunge deep into her channel was a desperate need, but he had to make sure she was ready for him. Megan was petite, nowhere near his size. The last thing he ever wanted to do was risk hurting her. He broke off the kiss, struggling not to react to her clever hands fondling his balls and the sensitive skin directly behind. This was a torment he could cheerfully endure for hours.
“What—what would you like me to do?” he gritted the words out between his teeth, reminding himself not to take one iota more than she was willing to give. “We don’t have to—”
Megan trailed a line of tiny kisses down his neck. “Everything. I want all of you.” She gripped him again, her hand stroking him hard. “And this inside me.”
“Are you sure?” he said. “We risk creating a child—there’s no protection here for me to use.”
“I’m protected—I had an inject a few weeks ago.” She slipped from his embrace, her skin slippery velvet to his touch, and then she knelt at his feet in the shower, taking him into her mouth.
Astonished at the sensations, he braced himself on the wall and tried not to respond too forcefully. Her tongue swirled the sensitive head of his cock then the sides, as if she was savoring a special treat. She held him with one hand and massaged him with the other. “Mmm,” she said approvingly as she allowed him to slip from between her lips. “I’ve been wondering what you were hiding in that boring uniform.”
“And?”
“I approve of these ridges, nice enhancement.” She stroked him hard with both hands and he exclaimed in pleasure. “I can’t wait to feel you buried inside me.” Her whisper was low and seductive.
“You have to be ready,” he said, clenching his fists to keep himself from touching her.
Megan laughed.” Who says I’m not?” She took one fist into her hands, gently rubbing his fingers to unclench, and guided his hand down her body in a long, sensuous curving motion, until she urged him to explore the cleft between her legs. Pushing herself against his hand as he slid one finger and then another into the slick heat of her body, Megan made breathy sounds of pleasure.
Unable to resist the temptation, he picked her up and seated her directly on his shaft. Megan wrapped her legs around him and wriggled to draw him inside her body more fully. Holding her slight weight easily, he couldn’t stop the flood of sensation driving him towards an irresistible climax as he felt her muscles squeezing in a pressure so pleasurable he thought he might die if the sensations heightened any further. Megan. He chanted her name in his mind as he pumped in and out, until he came in an explosion of mindless ecstasy. She pressed herself to him firmly, rocking her hips and he held her securely to his body as she too reached the pinnacle of satisfaction. Megan’s embrace demonstrated a strength he’d never suspected she possessed, so determined was she to savor every moment of their union.
One-handed, he shut off the water and grabbed a towel then wrapped her tenderly in it, before carrying her across the room to the bed. “Tell me we can experience each other again, please.”
“Don’t you dare tell me we can’t,” she replied, lips curving in a satisfied smile. “You do everything else so well, I have to believe you’ll recover fast for the next round.”
He laid her on the bed and paused. “I’d better block the vids in here as well.”
When he’d taken care of the task, his hands unaccustomedly trembling due to his eagerness to return to Megan, he stood beside the bed, drinking in the sight as she arched her back and patted the mattress. Needing no further invitation, he unwrapped the towel to feast his eyes on her lush breasts and ample curves. Settling beside her, he said, “Judge for yourself how well I recover.”
She reached to capture his already rising cock and draw him closer. “Dinner may be late.”
“Dinner may not happen at all.” He positioned himself on the bed
Caressing his balls, she murmured her approval. “Good plan.”
Much later, Mateer made a foray into the kitchen to bring her dinner in bed. They shared the food he’d managed to concoct from what the Khagrish had stocked, feeding each other and laughing. After the picnic in bed, Megan curled up drowsily next to him, her head pillowed on his shoulder, one arm draped across his waist. “How can I be so happy when we’re stuck inside an alien prison, with bad people wanting to do bad things to us? Am I allowed to be this happy?”
“My people are used to snatching what moments of happiness the Great Mother provides and cherishing them,” he said. “Moments were all we had.” Before your sister came and changed the entire situation, helped us achieve freedom. “This time with you has given me memories I wish to keep until I die.”
With her heightened sensitivity to him, she detected an undertone in his voice. “But?”
“There is no but.” He gathered her closer for a hug. “You should get some sleep—we both must, in case Lampergg springs a new surprise on us tomorrow. He’s not a patient or a prudent man.”
Megan pushed against him, and Mateer obligingly let her go. She sat up, brushing her hair from her eyes. “I know you’d like me to declare unequivocally I’m your mate, but I don’t even know what that means in your world. I care for you, we’ve got amazing chemistry obviously, we’re a super team in this place—” She gestured at the walls. “But this has all happened so fast for me, you know? I go to sleep in my own bed after my shift at the hospital on Amarcae 7 and I wake up here, in the middle of a fucking nightmare…how can I trust my own emotions? How can I be sure of anything?”
“I’m sure,” he said, his eyes slowly acquiring the golden gleam she’d learned meant his emotions were intense. “You doubt me, doubt the truth of my sentiments? Is that what you’re saying?”
She left the bed and paced. “No, I don’t doubt you. I’m simply saying I need to take this all more slowly, as far as the lifetime commitment angle. I need to get out of this hellhole lab, try to get over the trauma and see how I feel, how you feel, if we went back to a more normal existence and got to know each other outside of a pressure cooker. Everything is heightened here, under the threat of imminent torture or worse.”
Now Mateer was on his feet. “Do you regret what we’ve done tonight?”
“No. Lords of Space, no. I invited you to make love to me and it was all wonderful. You’re an incredible lover.” She ran her hand through her hair. Hurting this amazing man’s feelings was the last thing she wanted to do, but her own mind was confused, her gut in knots. Part of her wanted to accept his claim with pride and joy, and utter the words she knew he wanted to hear so badly. The clinical side of her mind and all her training was whispering at least a portion of the intense emotion was induced by the situation. “Please can you not rush me? I need time.”
He stalked to the kitchen, plucked a water container from the cooler, slashed it open with a quick strike from his talons and drank. Moving deliberately he set the empty bottle on the counter and faced her. “I will give you anything you request of me, as long as I live. But I warn you, if I have to watch you mated with another male—human or Badari—I’ll be hard pressed not to kill him.”
Awestruck, she had no fear of his fully deployed fangs and talons. To the core of her being she understood Mateer would die before hurting her but his ferocity toward the hypothetical ‘other man’ was impressive. She needed to know how deep his jealousy ran. Was he completely ruled by his instincts? “And if the man was my ultimate choice for a lifetime partner?” The words were hard to utter, because she honestly couldn’t imagine herself with anyone else but him.
“I’d take myself into exile before I’d cause you a broken heart, but I can’t lie about my feelings. If you decide I’m not your mate, I’ll ask Aydarr to assign me to missions far away from the sanctuary valley, so we’d never have to see each other again.” He straightened. “Best you go back to bed, get your sleep.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Get myself under control. Sit, meditate, ask the Great Mother for peace of mind.” He smiled although it was obviously an effort. “Then I’ll join you, I promise.”
“All right.” With reluctance, she went to the bed, pulling the covers around her against the chill. She tried to send him a quick mental reassurance, but it was like hitting a stone wall. He’d shut her out, and she couldn’t blame him. Megan closed her eyes and reached for her own calm centering thoughts. She kept hoping he’d come to bed, but eventually she drifted off to sleep alone.
Mateer sat on the hard chair and kept watch over the human woman he knew was his mate. He’d been taking an absurd amount of pleasure in supplying the woman he regarded as his mate with sustenance after the intense lovemaking and then she all but rejected him. Her confusion hurt, but he understood her argument about the intensity of their perilous situation. The Badari had never known anything else. He and his packmates understood that any chance at happiness would be fleeting, must be grabbed with both hands before the Khagrish wrenched it away. I’m glad she lived a normal life until she was kidnapped. Will she ever trust her feelings for me? But the Great Mother wasn’t giving answers to her children on this long chilly night.
He remembered how he’d watched Timtur with Megan’s twin, which seemed as if it had been weeks ago instead of only a few days. Now he understood how his packmate must have felt and why. The depth of his own response—mental and physical— to Megan versus the simple pleasure he’d felt in Lily’s presence were like night and day. Megan was his mate, with all the attendant love, tenderness and fierce desire to protect; Lily was a nice lady to chat with about the cadets’ lesson plan.
Judging Megan to be safely sound asleep, he slipped onto the mattress like a great cat, curling behind her but careful not to awaken her. His own emotions were locked down, but he feared if they made love again, he’d want to claim her despite her reservations. And that breach of trust she wouldn’t forgive. Mateer allowed himself to lapse into a soldier’s sleep, senses alert, not deep in slumber. He didn’t trust Lampergg or the revenge-seeking Captain Jordah. It would be a challenge to keep Megan safe for another two days until Aydarr’s planned attack.
CHAPTER EIGHT
He was in the Preserve, at the Great Mother’s circle, in the springtime. All the plants were ready to bloom, the fresh scent of the tender new shoots filling his nostrils with a heady perfume. Megan stretched in her sleep, knocking him out of the dream with a jolt, and he lay staring at the ceiling. The faint perfume of spring’s beautiful promise lingered, even though he was awake. Icy dread seized him, like a ball of rock in his gut, and he turned on his side to sniff carefully at Megan’s neck. Her womanly scent, like perfume to him, was delicious as always, but hers was entwined now with another scent so vivid and redolent of the newly blooming flowers of his dream that he thought he could see green.
Sleepily, she opened her eyes. “Hey there. I’m glad you did come to bed.” Stretching, she curled into him, kissing his cheek. “Still mad at me?”
“Never.” He swallowed hard, loathe to ruin this sweet moment. “I have to tell you something.”
“What? You sound so serious.”
“This is serious—I think you’re pregnant.”
Megan sat bolt upright, eyes widening, knocking the pillow to the floor. “I told you, I had my inject recently. Pregnancy’s not possible.”
“Maybe the Badari blood transfusion blocked the effects?”
“What even makes you say something so outrageous, announcing I might be pregnant?” she asked. “Is this about our discussion last night, about being mates?”
He shook his head. “The Great Mother sent me a dream of Spring and, when I awoke, I could smell the scent, mixed with yours. You carry new life. You’re carrying our child.”
Eyes widening, Megan fell against the pillows. “It’s much too soon to tell without sophisticated scans.”
“Badari have an enhanced sense of smell,” he said. “It’s one of the genetic manipulations the Khagrish introduced into our DNA strain. I felt you should know.” Her breaths shallow, her face pale, she appeared so stunned he wanted to take her into his arms for comforting but was afraid to touch her until she gave him a sign of her willingness to accept any physical contact.
“I don’t even know what to say.” She put her hands on her flat abdomen, then looked at him. “I wanted kids someday but not here, not now.”
We’ll be free in a few days. Attempting to give comfort, he reminded her of the fact. “I will always stand by you and our child, no matter what,” he said, from the depths of his heart.
She reached out to stroke his cheek and he leaned into her touch, grateful. “I know. It’s just a lot to take in. I never dreamt things could get more complicated—”
Emboldened by her caress, he gathered her in for the hug he longed to give her. His heart felt as if it was going to burst with tenderness and love, and yes, pride. He’d be the first Badari to father a child in the history of their engineered and lab grown species. As quickly as he had the thought, it was tempered with crushing regret that Megan hadn’t chosen this outcome any more than he had.
“Will Lampergg be able to tell?” she asked.
“If he scans you, undoubtedly. The Khagrish may be careless in their science but their technology works well.”
Can we get your Alpha to move up his schedule to break us out of here? Her request was a tremulous plea in his mind.
I can try. He gave voice to his earlier regret on her behalf. “I never would have taken this choice away from you. If I’d known there was even a chance of us creating a child I wouldn’t have touched you.”
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