To Love a Marquess (The Winters Sisters) (Regency Tales Book 21)

by Regina Darcy

  “I have never deflowered an innocent,” he stated, with a hint of anger in his eyes. “I have chosen Miss Winters and that is all that you need concern yourself with.”

  If Lady Hedley was disappointed by this answer, she did not show it. Instead, she simply pressed her hand to his chest, smoothing her hand out and allowing it to rest against his heart. Charles felt himself unmoved, looking down at where she touched him and finding that nothing sparked within him. There was no rush of heat, no sudden, desperate surge of longing. It was as though in attempting to change outwardly, he had unwittingly changed the man he was within.

  “I fear that I shall not capture you, my dear Marquess.”

  Looking back into Lady Hedley’s eyes, he gave her a sad smile. “I fear you shall not, Lady Hedley.”

  “You do know what it is that I offer you, do you not?” she asked, carefully, searching his eyes as though he did not fully understand what it was to take a mistress.

  Charles raised an eyebrow.

  “You know that I give you myself without any desire for love and affection to go with it?”

  “I do,” he said, slowly, setting his shoulders and reaching up to grasp her hand with both of his, shaking his head gently. “And yet, I find myself unwilling to accept such an offer.” He made to push her hand back, made to separate them both from each other and saw the regret in her eyes as he did so.

  For so long, he had allowed Lady Hedley to hold out hope, had allowed her to tease him and taunt him, knowing that she would be his in a moment if he but asked it of her.

  He had enjoyed the thrill of the chase, although she had never been so overt with her favours until a few days before he had found himself engaged to Miss Winters. Would he have accepted her in the end if he had not found himself engaged? That was something neither of them would ever know.

  “I am sorry to hear that from your lips,” Lady Hedley murmured, her eyes downcast. “For I thought that you and I should do very well together.”

  “I must remain tied to Miss Winters,” he explained, only to hear a strangled sound coming from somewhere to his right. Looking over and letting Lady Hedley’s hands go at once, he was horrified to see none other than his betrothed sitting side-saddle on her mare, her sister close by. She was looking at him with agony in her eyes, her cheeks white and her hands grasping the reins tightly. Charles did not know what to say, looking up at her all he wanted was to wipe away the look of disappointment in her eyes.

  “Oh dear,” he heard Lady Hedley say, although there was no true compassion in her voice. “This is a trifle unfortunate.”

  Charles opened his mouth to say something to Miss Winters, tried to explain but without warning, she wheeled her horse around and took off at a tremendous pace.

  “Ann!” her sister, the Duchess Sotheby called, turning her horse around, but Miss Winters did not stop.

  “It is not as it seems!” Charles exclaimed, striding towards the Duchess who was staring after her sister with wide eyes. “I was merely –”

  A thunderclap sounded overhead, making her horse jump and cutting off the end of his conversation.

  “I care not for what you were doing or for the excuses you will make, Lord Penderstone,” the Duchess said, crisply, her narrowed eyes now trained on him. “I need to find my sister. If you will help me, then I would be grateful for it. Otherwise, you must excuse me.”

  She too rode away after Miss Winters, although her pace was a good deal gentler than the first. Charles stood watching helplessly, his fists clenched, for he did not have a horse and could not easily procure one in this section of the Hyde Park.

  “If your engagement comes to an end, my dear Penderstone, then I do hope you will turn to me for comfort.”

  Charles closed his eyes, his jaw set before he wheeled around, glaring at Lady Hedley.

  “Listen closely, Lady Hedley, for I will not repeat myself,” he began, his eyes narrowing. “I care nothing for you. I used to find your comportment enchanting and thought your affections to be something I might sample when I felt the time was right. Now, however, you can be assured that there will be no such interaction between us. I bring an end to our acquaintance here, at this very moment. Do you understand me?”

  Lady Hedley stepped back as though he had struck her, her eyes wide with shock.

  “I do not wish to hear you suggest a liaison again, I hope I made myself sufficiently clear,” Charles continued, now walking away from her. “I shall never seek your affections and beg you not to offer them to me again.” So saying, he stormed away and hurried along the path, his mind filled with none other than Miss Winters.

  

  Charles did not know how long it was that he searched the Park, for it seemed both hours and but moments at the same time. His legs grew weary, his body cold with the rain that had begun to pour down from the skies in sheets. The Duchess had been frantically searching for her sister but had been forced to take shelter in a small outbuilding on one side of the Park, for fear that she would catch a chill and thereafter, could become ill. A boy had been sent to the house to discover if Miss Winters had returned there but Charles had been determined to continue on regardless until the boy returned with news.

  “Miss Winters?”

  The air was damp now, the clouds finally beginning to clear as the thunderstorm moved away. Moisture dripped from his jacket; his dark hair soaked by the rain. Pushing it out of his eyes, Charles paused for a moment and continued to search for Miss Winters, his heart thudding with desperation. Where had she gone?

  This is all your doing.

  Worry and guilt tore at him. If he had not gone walking with Lady Hedley, then Miss Winters would not have discovered them and would not have ridden off in such haste. He could not even imagine what it was she thought of him. Closing his eyes tightly, Charles let out a long breath, and raked his hand through his hair. He silently prayed that he would be able to find her.

  An unexpected sound caught his attention. Lifting his head, he suddenly saw a horse appearing out of a small copse of trees. It nickered again, as though trying to find someone – and Charles ran towards it without hesitation.

  It did not take long to find Miss Winters. She was lying on the ground, her eyes closed and her face pale. A large bump was on her forehead, with blood trickling down into her hair. She was soaked through, her clothes clinging to her.

  His heart quailed for a moment as he bent down over her, fearing the worst – but a small exhalation of breath had him weak with relief.

  “Come, Miss Winters,” he breathed, reaching down to scoop her up into his arms. “We shall have you back safe soon enough.” Looking down into her pale face, seeing her eyes still closed, Charles felt a sudden swell of affection wash over him. He did not want Lady Hedley’s affections, as he had said to the lady herself, but neither did he want the affections or the attentions of any other.

  All he wanted was Miss Winters. He wanted her to smile again, to look at him with bright eyes and a happiness in her expression that had been absent for so long. His desire was for her and the emotions in his heart could no longer be quelled.

  “And I will speak of them to you, if you will allow me,” he told her, quickly making his way across the park and towards the outbuilding, where the Duchess waited. “Once you have recovered yourself, my dear Miss Winters, I shall tell you all the truths that are hidden within my heart and you shall know me as you have never done before.”

  NINE

  Miss Ann Winters to Miss Caroline Winters

  London, MAYFAIR.

  Dear Caro,

  I fear you were right. The seed I thought was sowed was nought but a speck of lint. He does not hold me in his affections. Never have I felt so heartbroken.

  How oh how do I exorcize him from my heart? My love for him has blossomed to a rose, wrapped around my heart. But now that rose has thorns. Sharp thorns that cause damage without consideration.

  Oh Caro, I wish you and Beatrice were here. Or even Papa for that
matter! You would surely distract me from my melancholy.

  Yours heartbroken and sad,

  A. Winters

  

  It appeared that falling from a horse was, in fact, rather painful. Two days after she had taken a tumble in Hyde Park, Ann was still not prepared to rise from her bed.

  “You should be able to go about as you have been,” the doctor murmured, as he inspected the bump on Ann’s forehead. “I cannot see any other injuries other than this here.”

  Ann swallowed but did not speak, her heart was much too painful to allow her to talk openly.

  “If would do you well to rise,” the doctor finished, stepping back and smiling kindly at her. “Your sister is well able to take care of you, I understand?”

  Theodora, who had been standing quietly to one side of the room, moved forward at once.

  “Of course, of course,” she said, quickly, giving Ann an encouraging smile. “I should be glad to assist you in any way, Ann, once you feel able to rise from your bed.”

  Ann said nothing but merely turned her face away. She did not want to speak to the doctor nor to her sister, for her heart was so heavy that it was as though it weighed her down, pinning her to her bed. She heard the doctor and Theodora talking quietly together for a few minutes but paid them very little attention. She did not want to rise from her bed and return to society or face the Marquess. All she wanted to do was lie in bed and forget about him entirely.

  And yet, as much as she wished for it, Ann’s mind could not let go of him, her heart could not free itself from the affection that lay there still. It did not bring her any delight now, however, but instead teased and mocked her for what she felt for the Marquess. He did not care for her, as she had prayed and hoped he might. It was clear that he considered her nothing more than a fool, for he had returned to Lady Hedley only a few days after promising her that the lady meant nothing to him. He had vowed to remain faithful only to her, promising that he would not seek affection from any other, and yet that was precisely what he had done. Ann could not remove the image of his hands on Lady Hedley’s from her mind, could not forget how the lady had smiled up into the Marquess’ eyes, her beauty seeming to capture him entirely.

  “Ann?”

  Sitting up against the pillows, Ann turned her gaze back towards her sister, realising that the doctor had left them.

  “He will not need to return,” Theodora told her, encouragingly. “He says you are well enough recovered to slowly begin to return to society.”

  “I do not think that I am,” Ann replied, dully. “I think I should remain abed for a time.”

  Her sister frowned, placing her hand over Ann’s gently. “You are in pain still?” Her eyes moved to Ann’s forehead. “There is some bruising there still, I grant you, but it will recover completely in a few days.”

  Ann closed her eyes, finding that she wished for nothing more than for Theodora to leave her side and allow her to remain alone, in silence.

  “It is not your head that aches, then,” Theodora commented, quietly. “It is your heart.”

  Ann opened her eyes but found her vision blurry what with the tears that she was holding back. “I do not wish to speak of it, Theodora.”

  “But you must,” Theodora replied, firmly. “For how else are you to begin to allow your heart to heal?” Leaning forward, she looked into Ann’s face, her expression determined. “And I should tell you this, Ann. The Marquess is desperate to speak with you. He has told me repeatedly that there is nothing of importance between himself and Lady Hedley and that what you and I witnessed has been completely misconstrued.”

  Ann shook her head before turning her face away.

  “I do not believe him,” she whispered, hoarsely. “I know that he is a gentleman who cares only for the affections of those that surround him and does not truly consider me with any fondness at all.”

  There was a short pause.

  “And what if you are wrong, Ann?”

  Ann closed her eyes tightly against a sea of pain that threatened to crush her.

  “I am not mistaken,” she whispered, her voice broken with emotion. “I believed him once. I shall not do so again.”

  “But consider, my dear sister,” Theodora replied, urgently. “What if all that you seek is there waiting for you? What if the Marquess does truly care for you and his conversation with Lady Hedley is as he says? Then might you not be missing out on something so wonderful that it would bring you more contentment and happiness than you have ever known before?” Her expression was filled with earnestness. “He carried you across Hyde Park until he found a hackney and then took you carefully back into the house as though you were his most treasured possession, Ann. There has to be something in that, surely?”

  Something like anger began to curl upwards in Ann’s heart. Anger that her sister, who had been so against Ann’s affection for the Marquess, was now doing her best to press him into her heart again.

  “I cannot understand why you would ask me to reconsider!” she exclaimed, throwing herself to the other side of her bed and glaring at Theodora.

  “I have found myself broken-hearted over the Marquess and his persistent eagerness to grasp the affections of Lady Hedley, and now you ask me to reconsider the matter?”

  She saw Theodora’s eyes widen in surprise at her outburst, but it was as though something had ruptured inside her that she could no longer hold together.

  “I thought myself in love with the Marquess, thought him to be the most courageous, most excellent of men, and yet now I see that I was entirely mistaken. He is not the gentleman I believed him to be. I looked past his foibles, chose not to believe that he was the rogue that everyone believed him to be – and now I am paying for such foolishness. Do not try to soften my heart towards him again, Theodora. I should never have allowed myself to trust him, should never have allowed myself to hope. If I could do anything, it would be to beg the Marquess to free me from this engagement.”

  Theodora’s eyes were huge, her mouth working for a moment or two before she let out a long breath and finally shook her head.

  “To end the engagement is a serious matter, Ann,” she said, gently. “I know that you are angry and upset and clearly are frustrated even with my behaviour, but I say and do all of this in the hope that you will reconsider. If there is even the smallest chance that the Marquess is speaking the truth, then will you not allow yourself to even consider him again?”

  Ann shook her head vehemently.

  “No, I will not,” she stated, decisively. “I have made my choice. I was foolish to pursue the Marquess and even more foolish to believe and to hope that one day he might find a similar affection within his own heart for me.” Swallowing the lump in her throat and dashing the tears from her eyes, she lifted her chin and kept her gaze steady. “I would write to the Marquess this very moment.”

  Theodora said nothing for a minute or two, looking back at Ann steadily as though she were deciding what to do.

  “The writing table is in the drawing room, as you well know,” she replied, evenly. “Once you are dressed, I would be glad to ensure that you are able to descend the stairs to the room below.”

  Ann narrowed her eyes. “You know very well that I do not feel able to leave my bed at this present time.”

  “Then I suggest you wait until you have recovered your strength a little more,” Theodora replied, with a small smile. “For then you shall be able to go about your business and do as you wish without hesitation.”

  Anger burned in Ann’s heart all over again. “You will not oblige me by having all that I need brought here?”

  Theodora hesitated and then shook her head.

  “No, I will not,” she replied, calmly. “The doctor has stated that you need to rise from your bed and go about as you normally do if you are to recover completely. Therefore I think it only best that I encourage you to do as he has instructed.” There was no malice in her voice, only compassion and encouragement in her expression bu
t still, Ann remained angry.

  “Then leave me to my own thoughts!” she exclaimed, turning over away from Theodora. “I shall not be forced into doing what I do not wish to do.”

  Her sister rose, her skirts rustling softly. “Very well,” she murmured quietly, the gentleness of her tone dampening Ann’s anger somewhat. “Do call for me should you need me, my dear sister. Good day.”

  Ann closed her eyes tightly but even though she did so, moisture still escaped from under her closed lids and seeped out to run down her cheek. Stifling her sobs, Ann tried to cling onto her anger, onto her fury, but felt it begin to slip away from her. As it ran from her heart, all that it left behind was pain – and a pain that Ann felt fully.

  It tore at her, biting at her, mocking her and deriding her. She had trusted the Marquess, let herself hope that he had told her the truth. The night they had been in the theatre, he had rejected Lady Hedley and turned towards her, choosing not to ask Lady Hedley to join them in the box. She had felt a flush of hope at that, seeing how he had turned towards her and had rejected Lady Hedley. Lady Hedley had been angry at that but the Marquess had not seemed to either notice or care. How much delight she had felt in that! But now, only days later, all of her hope and trust had been shattered with what she had seen. Mayhap Lady Hedley’s anger had been nothing more than pretence. Mayhap both she and the Marquess had decided to behave in such a manner in front of her, so that she would not become suspicious or upset over their continued acquaintance.

  What does it matter now?

  What pained Ann even more was that her heart still clung to the Marquess with a fierceness that would not let her go. Whilst being stubbornly resolute in her desire to bring her engagement to him to an end, Ann knew that her heart would continue to pull towards him regardless. Perhaps, in time, she would be able to free herself from him but it would not be soon. Even though he had shattered her with his behaviour, the love that had grown steadily for so many years still remained within her heart.