“Wait a second. Dex, that’s the light in your eyes.” Siena looked at their mother with her mouth set in a perfect “O.” “Is she here? Are you seeing her?”
“Siena, leave him be for a minute.” His mother looked at him and tilted her head.
“Really? Since when do I have to report to you two about my dating life?” He took another bite of his sandwich.
“Well, considering you don’t usually have much of a dating life, I think it’s only fair that you share the dirty details,” Siena said before plucking a cherry tomato from her plate and popping it into her mouth.
“Dexy, as I recall, you were really taken with her for a very long time.” His mother reached across the table and touched his hand. “You’re a smart man with an enormous heart. Tread carefully, sweetie, okay?”
“Taken with her? Just because they were friends as kids?” Siena asked.
His mother lowered her eyes, and in that moment Dex knew that his mother knew more than she was letting on, and he wondered what that might be.
“Okay, so you’re…what? Dating her? Doing her?” Siena asked.
“Siena,” their mother chided.
He let out a breath.
His mother met his gaze and held it. She patted his hand again. “Do whatever your heart tells you to. She was always a nice girl. I don’t like how hurt you were, but she didn’t have an easy upbringing.”
“See? She was the foster girl,” Siena said.
“Damn it, Siena. That was the situation she grew up in. It wasn’t who she was, and it certainly isn’t who she is now.”
“Dex, chill. I didn’t mean it like that. It was just a reference, like saying you’re a gamer. Jeez, I’m sorry, okay?”
He pushed his plate away and looked at his watch. “I’ve gotta take off in a few minutes.”
His mother shot a look at Siena.
“What? It’s not my fault.” Siena put her napkin on the table. “I actually liked her a lot. She was quiet and sweet, and she put up with you and your boring tinkering stage. I never had an issue with her, and I’m sorry that I called her the foster girl. I won’t do that again, Dex. Really. I’m sorry.” Her phone vibrated again, and she read the message and immediately began gathering her purse and jacket. “Oh crap. I’m sorry, guys, but my agent needs me in his office.” She kissed her mother’s cheek, then hugged Dex’s rigid body, letting her hand linger on his shoulder for an extra few seconds. “I’m sorry, Dex. Call me and we’ll all hang out. Okay?”
He nodded.
“My life with my children is so hit or miss,” their mother said. “Siena, call me and we’ll go shopping or something when you can.”
“That sounds like fun. Thanks, Mom. Love you.”
His mother watched Siena walk away, and then she shot Dex the same look she had when he was a teenager and she didn’t buy what he’d told her. The look that said, I’m your mother and I have eyes in the back of my head.
“Wanna talk about it?” his mother asked.
“Not really.”
She nodded. “You know, I remember when she used to come to the house. She was a watcher. She’d watch you and Siena, and you could see her mind calculating when it was safe to talk, or sit, or move. She was a sweet little thing, and she understood you, Dex. She knew you better than most of us did.”
Why did he suddenly feel like he wanted to climb into his mother’s lap and be hugged? “Yeah?” was all he could manage.
She nodded. “There were times when your father would say something harsh to you and you’d carry it close to your chest for hours. Until bedtime in fact. And I’d worry about you. Oh, how I’d worry. You were such a sensitive boy, and you took everything your father said to heart. Still do.” She shook her head.
His father knew how to cut him to the core, though Dex knew he never meant to hurt any of them. As a four-star general, he was trained to be severe. Their father had given them backbone and muscle; their mother had saved their hearts.
“I used to worry that something would happen between you two. Something irreversible.” She looked at him without judgment. Her tone was kind and motherly, not patronizing.
“It wasn’t like that between us,” Dex admitted.
“No. I realized that after a while. She was with you all the time, Dex, and that doesn’t surprise me. You were two peas in a pod. Both hurting for different reasons. Believe me, if I could have taken her from that house and raised her as my own, I would have.”
Dex leaned across the table. “You knew what went on at her house?”
“Oh, Dex. Anyone who was involved with my children got the full motherly investigation. I visited her foster parents. Befriended them as best I could. They were a mess. The best thing that could have happened was for her to be placed in another home. Even though that was the worst thing for you. And I do believe it was. The separation crushed you. I don’t think I’d ever felt so sad for one of my children. Well, other than when Linda died, of course. Gosh, that was awful for Jack. Just awful, and those next two years…” She shook her head, her eyes serious. “Thank goodness he found Savannah.”
Dex’s oldest brother Jack’s first wife had died in a car accident, and Jack had blamed himself. He’d pretty much disappeared from their lives for nearly two years. Then he’d met Savannah, and he’d found his way back to them once again.
“How is Ellie? I’ve often wondered what became of her.”
“She’s doing well, Mom. She’s got a master’s in minority and urban education, and she has great ideas to help low-income kids.” He scrubbed his face with his hand. The admission hung on his lips. I love her, Mom. I really love her.
“She was always smart. You could see that by looking into her eyes. Dex, how is she otherwise? Some kids who go through the system have a really hard time getting close to people, letting them in.” She picked at her salad while Dex pieced together an answer.
“You know, with me she’s always been…I’m not sure how to describe her. She…”
“Is she still climbing in your window?” she asked with a tender smile.
Dex furrowed his brow. “You knew? Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“Dexy, you needed her as much as she needed you, and it wasn’t like you were two horny teenagers jumping each other’s bones. You treated her like she was precious china. And she…” She glanced thoughtfully out the window, her eyes soft, a smile on her lips. “She adored just being with you. You were her hero.”
Hero? Ellie was more of a hero than he was. She’d overcome so much in her life. “I’m not anyone’s hero, Mom, and we never did anything, but I’m not a saint. I wanted to before she left, but I wouldn’t have put her in that position.”
“I know. You were creatures of comfort, and you each provided what the other needed. You didn’t need sex with Ellie. You needed the safety of each other.” She tapped the side of her head. “I kept my eyes open. I worried as you got older and she became more beautiful, but I never figured you to be the kind of boy who was driven by sex. You’ve always been driven by your heart.”
“Okay, this is getting uncomfortable.” Dex took a gulp of ice water.
“You boys are so macho, but when it comes to matters of intimacy, you get all childish. I’d love to see her, if it gets to that point, and if not, then I’m glad you found each other again anyway. The way she left last time was heartbreaking, and I’d hate to see you miss out on love forever because you and Ellie never got together or you never figure out how to get over her.”
The way she said last time confirmed that Sage had filled her in on Ellie’s visit four years ago. Dex’s phone vibrated with a message from Ellie. His chest tightened. Part of him was waiting for the Dear Dex text telling him that she’d made a mistake. He couldn’t shake the feeling that she might leave at any moment, despite her intentions not to. He read the text. Met someone at Dept of Ed. Going 4 interview. Wish me luck!
He breathed a sigh of relief and texted back. You’ll do great. Xox.
“Yeah.”
“Dex, I don’t want to pry, but you had that look in your eyes just then. You’re worried she’ll leave again, aren’t you?” She touched his hand.
Dex didn’t answer. He couldn’t. Being with Ellie for a night or a week or a day was better than not being with her at all, and talking about it would only make the fact that she might leave more real. His Adam’s apple took a slow slide up his throat as he swallowed the worry.
“She might. And at some point you have to trust, Dex. I know she’s the one who made it hard for you to trust all those years ago, and in a strange way, she’s the one you probably need to trust the most right now.”
Dex nodded, mulling over the awful truth of her statement. Ellie was the reason he’d guarded his heart. But she was also the only woman who had ever made him feel as if he had one.
Chapter Seventeen
MAPLE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL was nothing like the low-income schools Ellie had been interviewing with. At Maple Elementary, the teachers dressed comfortably, in jeans and T-shirts or skirts and blouses, whatever made them feel the most confident. While she was at the Department of Education talking with one of the specialists about the grant process, the specialist had told her about Maple, a privately funded alternative-education school. An hour later, she was in the office of the school administrator, Blythe Wagner, discussing her ideas.
Blythe was a short woman with a friendly smile and thick, light brown hair secured with a leather barrette at the base of her neck. She wore a pair of boot-cut Levi’s with a loose-fitting cream-colored, short-sleeved sweater. She was naturally pretty, with blue eyes and pale skin. Her face was devoid of makeup, save for a thin application of eyeliner. She and Ellie hit it off right away.
“I like your ideas, Ellie. They’re fresh and certainly viable given the right funding opportunities.” She leaned her elbows on her knees, perched beside Ellie on a comfortable couch in the main office of the school. “Would you be willing to teach and work through the proposal process in your spare time? We don’t have the funding for overtime. It’s a lot of work. Grants are not easy to come by, and the kids have to come first. Their learning can’t be sidetracked by what may or may not become a project—even if it’s a project that, in the long run, will help them.”
Ellie felt her eyes widen and tried to gain control of her emotions. Blythe was already talking as if they had a real chance of winning an educational grant and developing educational software was a real possibility. A project. Ellie would give anything to see the concept of the software come to fruition. She’d gladly work overtime without pay if it meant working with a technical team that could develop the software. She couldn’t have hoped for a more supportive administrator, but she had to make sure she wasn’t overselling herself.
She cleared her throat. “I…um…I have no technical writing experience, only teaching experience.”
“Yes.” Blythe nodded. “I’m well aware of that.”
“And I don’t know anything about proposal writing. I’ve taken technical writing courses, but this is just an idea, a concept. I mean, my expertise is working with children, not developing the actual programs.” Her heart beat a mile a minute. She couldn’t believe everything was happening so fast, and she wanted to lean over and hug Blythe for even offering the opportunity. Most of all, she wanted to be sure Blythe knew exactly what her skills were. She didn’t need to fail at her first job in New York.
“Think of it this way. If successful, you’ll be the brains behind a program that just might change the way children are taught.” Blythe sat back and smiled. “We’d have to find a technical staff to work with. An affordable one.”
I wonder if Dexy could help.
Blythe continued. “We would need your guidance to bring the program to fruition. You’ll be able to outline it, drive the development in the right direction, and make sure the kids would be getting what they need, without the technical aspects. But there’s a bigger-picture concern we need to address. You were with your last job for two years, which is a fair amount of time, but for our kids, we hope for more. They have enough instability in their lives. There’s security in knowing that the teachers they trust and rely on are here year after year. No one can promise to stay in a job, and we understand that, but we do like to know where our employees stand with their three- and five-year goals.”
Ellie took a deep breath and wondered if she’d unknowingly walked through a patch of four-leaf clovers. Between coming together with Dex and finding her dream job, she felt like the luckiest girl on the planet.
She’d already explained that she’d grown up through the system, and Blythe had seen that as a benefit. You’ll understand what some of our students have been through. That makes you even more relatable to them. She might as well lay it on the line with her. Sort of.
“I left Maryland because I found out the man I was dating was married.”
A deep V formed between Blythe’s eyebrows. “Oh.” She nodded as if she understood, but Ellie knew there was no way she could.
“I’m not someone who dates married men. In fact, if you want the truth, I’m not really someone who dates at all. I’ve been focused on school, then on my career, and when I met him, he told me that he was a traveling sports agent. I actually didn’t agree to date him until he’d asked me out four or five times over the course of a month. It’s a little hard for me to trust. Anyway, I know this is more than you need to know, but I need you to hear it. We dated for a few weeks, and I began to let my guard down and trust him, and that’s when I found out that he was married.”
“That sounds very painful,” Blythe said in an empathetic voice.
“It was. More so because I realized that there was a woman out there who hadn’t had any idea what he was doing.” Ellie paused, worried she was being too open, but Blythe was leaning forward, nodding, as if she understood completely, so she continued. “I left Maryland because I didn’t want any part of the situation. It was a rude awakening for me, and I didn’t realize why I came back to New York until recently, but my best friend is here, and I needed to regroup.” I needed Dex. “I’m committed, even though it might not seem that way given my short tenure in Maryland.” And my history of taking off. “But I can assure you, what I want more than anything is to make a difference with underprivileged kids. I want to instill the belief that they can do whatever they put their mind to. I want to help them avoid falling into the path of becoming a product of their environment. I want to help them be more. So much more.”
Blythe’s lips lifted into a smile, though she was shaking her head.
Oh no. I was too honest.
“Ellie, where have you been hiding?”
THE STREETS OF New York felt completely different than they had when Ellie had arrived. The breakneck pace of the people and the congestion on the roads now offered excitement rather than annoyance. They carried an aura of hope and forward motion instead of appearing as impediments between Ellie and her destination. She was about to text Dex when she had an idea. She had never been to his office, and though she knew he was probably busy, she also knew how much it would mean to him to have her publicly claim their relationship. Showing up to give him the news in person seemed not only a meaningful thing to do, but also, it made her heart soar. There was no one else on earth she’d rather share her excitement with than Dex.
A quick Google search located his office, and forty minutes later she walked through the doors of Thrive Entertainment. From the distressed metal sign above the desk reading LIVE, PLAY, THRIVE! to the mismatched furniture, the office felt very Dexish. The wide-planked hardwood floors were heavily scuffed, which made her smile because only Dex would pay to have scuffed floors installed in the middle of Manhattan.
Her nerves tingled as she approached the reception desk, feeling overdressed in her skirt, blouse, and heels and wishing she had her favorite boots to ground her. It had seemed like such a great idea to show up unannoun
ced, but now that she was there, the idea of popping in felt a little presumptuous. As much as he wanted her to stay and as much as Dex might love her, it didn’t mean that he wanted his entire company to know about them. The young man behind the desk wore a black T-shirt with thrive! imprinted across his narrow chest and a pair of black jeans. He had on a thick studded leather wristband, and his short, dark hair stuck up in thick, gelled spikes.
“Hi.” Her voice came out just above a whisper. She cleared her throat and forced herself to speak louder. “I’m here to see Dex.” Whew. Okay. I did it.
“Sure.” He looked at his computer. “And you are?”
“Ellie Parker.” Bad idea. Truly a bad idea. She should just turn around and walk out. Tell him never mind.
“Let me buzz him. I don’t see you on his schedule.”
“No, I’m not. Um. It’s okay. I can talk to him later.” She turned to leave, and the young man’s voice stopped her.
“Hold up, hon.”
She closed her eyes and feigned a smile before turning around.
“I already buzzed a message through the system. If you wait one sec, I’m sure he’ll respond quickly.”
“It’s really okay. I don’t need to—”
“Ellie.”
She turned toward Dex’s voice and watched him cross the floor, arms open, looking drop-dead gorgeous in his jeans and button-down shirt. His eyes locked on hers and sent her stomach on an instantaneous roller coaster ride. Then she was wrapped in the warmth of him, and his lips were on hers for a split second, in a very appropriate, quick, claiming kiss. She felt her cheeks flush when they drew apart, his hand clutching hers.
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