She weeded through a pile of bags, unable to concentrate. Her army-green jacket, which had been comfortable when she’d left the apartment, was now too hot and bulky. She took it off and held it under her arm. Her black sweater felt stiff and prickly. The bags were all ugly. Damn it. He’d ruined her entire day. She thought of calling Dex, but what would she say? I saw the asshole with some woman? He didn’t approach her, didn’t even seem to see her. She needed to get a grip. And she needed to get the hell out of the Village before he did see her. Ellie headed out of the store with her head down and made a beeline for the subway.
Chapter Twenty-Three
AT THREE O’CLOCK Dex began to wonder when Ellie was coming back. He, Regina, and Mitch often worked through the weekend afternoons and into the wee hours of the next morning, but now that Ellie was back in his life, he wanted to spend as much time as possible with her. It was Saturday night, and he wanted to take Ellie on an actual date. He pulled out his cell and texted her.
Miss you. Back soon?
He turned back to the program he’d been working on. “Hey, where can I take Ellie on a date?”
“When?” Mitch’s eyes never left the computer screen.
“Tonight.”
“Why go out? You can have crazy wild animal sex here,” Regina teased.
“Just because all you think about is sex doesn’t mean Dex is the same way,” Mitch said.
“Right. When’s the last time you saw me go on a date? Sex is the last thing on my mind.” Regina lowered her chin and stared at Mitch.
“I don’t know what you do with your free time,” Mitch said without looking at her.
“You two are my free time.” She sighed. “That’s sweet, Dex. You really like her, huh?”
Dex stood and stretched. “You might say that.” He started to walk out of the room and hesitated in the doorway. “I’m getting a drink. You guys want anything?”
“Pizza?” Mitch asked.
“Veggie burger,” Regina said.
“Why don’t you guys call Jay’s and have them deliver? I don’t want anything.” He left the room and pulled out his cell. He called Ellie. His call went directly to voicemail. He tried to quiet the panicked voice in his head that immediately jumped to her leaving town. He wouldn’t allow his mind to go there, but hell if it wasn’t a struggle.
The door opened a few minutes later and Ellie walked in. Her eyes jetted around the room in the old unsettled way that he hadn’t seen over the last few nights.
“Hey.” The fine line between loving and smothering was a tightrope walk, and Dex felt like a two-hundred-pound bull, wanting to ask why she looked so haunted and why she had her phone turned off. Instead, he stuck to the safer subject. “Did you find a bag?”
“Yeah, at a street vendor.” She held up a backpack. “I figured it couldn’t be stolen if it was on both arms.” She set it on the table by the door.
He folded her in his arms and held her, reading her body language. He’d become a master of reading her silent signals. When she was scared, her body trembled. Uncertainty caused her muscles to tense. The need to escape made her leg bounce, and wandering eyes translated to her being stuck in the midst of it all. She put her arms around him and pressed her cheek to his chest. He’d expected her to be tense, to take the time she usually needed to accept his comfort. Why did this quiet, warm need scare him even more? He eased his hold on her, but she held on tight. Something had happened. His muscles tensed.
“Hey. You okay?” He stroked her back.
She nodded but tightened her grip around him.
Dex’s mind spun in ten different directions, none of them good. Either something had happened when she was out, or she was battling some internal demon that had reared its ugly head. One would piss him off; the other would break his heart. He kept his silence and let her draw whatever comfort she needed from him. When she finally peeled herself away from him, he felt a rush of cold where she had been.
She looked at him and smiled, but it never came anywhere near her beautiful, haunted eyes. “God, I needed that.”
“Glad I could help.” Tell me what’s wrong.
“Are you guys still working?”
He saw it then. She’d flicked a switch just as she’d done a million times before. Whatever she was dealing with, she wasn’t about to reveal it. Damn, she was frustrating.
“Yeah, but I’m done. I wanted to take you out tonight.”
Her lips curved into a smile—a real smile this time. “Like a date?”
“Yeah, like a date.”
“What do people do on dates in New York? You already know I’m a sure thing, and you know I can’t hold my liquor, so…” she teased.
“It depends on what mood you’re in.” He searched her eyes and saw a flash of something that he couldn’t read.
“You want the answer I’d give anyone else, or do you want the answer I’d only give you?” She crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. Clearly constructing her own protective barrier.
“What do you think?” At least she wasn’t shutting him out completely. He watched her weigh her words before answering. She held his stare and set her jaw. Her arms tensed. She drew in a deep breath, and Dex fought the urge to pull her close again. He waited, hoping she could take this step.
“I’m fighting off the need to kill someone.”
Shit. Not what he was expecting. Dex’s breath came faster. “What happened?”
She shook her head.
“Ellie, you made me a promise.” Goddamn it. If some asshole hurt her, he’d kill him.
“I did, and there’s nothing to report other than a few annoying texts. I turned my phone off.” She looked away, and he knew there was more.
“And?” When she didn’t answer, he pushed harder. “Ellie, did he say something I should worry about? If you told me who he was, I could put a stop to it.”
“No. I can handle this. I’m not a child, and while I appreciate you standing up for me, I don’t need you to handle this for me. It’s my mess, and I can deal with it.”
“You’re the most frustrating woman I know. Frustrating and…”
“And?” She crossed her arms and pinned her eyes on his.
“I don’t know. I’d say clueless, but you’re anything but clueless. You know exactly what you’re doing, and that’s what makes this whole thing so frustrating.” His nerves tightened like guitar chords; the muscles in his arms twitched. He hated when she was right. Ellie thought she was strong—and she was—but he also knew she was sweet, and vulnerable, and feminine, and goddamn it, he wanted to fix this shit, and fix it now. His father would never sit back and let bad things happen to anyone he loved. But his father would never have consulted his mother on how to handle things either. He glanced at Ellie’s stern face, and the need to be strong was written in the tension in her cheeks and eyes. He could no better dissuade her from that strength than he could treat her the way his father had treated him so many times. His father’s love had sharp edges. Dex’s love was molded by his mother, flexible and full of empathy.
“Fine. Whatever. I’ll give you frustrating.” Her lower lip trembled in an unexpected show of vulnerability. A crack in her armor.
He took her hand. “Laser tag.”
“Laser tag?”
“Yup. You said you needed to kill someone. I say, let’s go do it.”
“Did someone say laser tag?” Mitch called as he walked down the hall toward them.
“Laser tag? That’s your big date?” Regina was two steps behind Mitch.
“We’re going to release some pent-up energy.” Dex looked at Ellie and hoped he was doing the right thing by not pushing her to reveal all the shitty details of the texts.
“Mind if we go?” Mitch asked. “I could use a little killing action myself.”
“Jesus, you Neanderthal. They’re going on a date, not having a birthday party.” Regina shook her head.
“Come with us. It’ll be fun.” Ellie smiled up at Dex. “Do
you mind?”
As much as he wanted to romance Ellie, that idea had gone out the window the minute she’d clung to him like she needed to refuel her will to survive.
“Totally fine with me.”
“Rock on!” Mitch said. “I’m so gonna blow you away.” He shot a dark look at Dex.
Dex laughed as they grabbed their jackets and headed out the door. “In your dreams.”
“Listen to them. They act like we don’t even count. We’re gonna take your chicken asses down,” Regina said.
“I’ve never played laser tag,” Ellie admitted. “You guys have all that experience of playing those shooter games. I knew I should have paid better attention for all those years.”
Dex had a feeling that Ellie would be a natural at blowing people away. If she could shoot as well as she could walk away, she’d be a master at it.
Chapter Twenty-Four
LASER TAG WAS nothing like Ellie thought it would be. She’d anticipated feeling stupid running around in the dark with a fake gun and trying to shoot her friends. She thought she’d feel guilty taking them down, but it turned out that she felt empowered for the first time in her life. Knowing she wasn’t really killing anyone helped, of course, but she pictured each of the other players as Bruce. Her finger hovered over the trigger and her eyes narrowed as she listened for the sound of feet moving, heavy breathing, and the unique rustling of plastic guns against bodies. Ellie had spent her whole life in the background, observing people and situations, strategizing, biding her time until the ripest moment became apparent. She’d been preparing for laser tag her whole life. Who knew?
She closed her eyes and listened. In here, Dex had a certain walk, a hunkered-down sneak that she noticed the minute he put the weighty vest on. He’d bent his knees and walked with purpose, with a stealthy slant. She heard the sounds of him now, his gun knocking against his muscles, his hard and heavy breathing. She held her breath as the sounds came closer, and when she felt his presence, she opened her eyes and pressed the trigger.
“Damn.” Dex watched the lights on his vest go black.
Ellie whispered, “Sorry.” She took off in another direction, her heart pounding, mind soaring. This was the most fun she’d ever had. The dark arena made it easy for her to feel free, even if she couldn’t forget seeing Bruce or reading his texts that claimed they weren’t through. What did that mean, anyway? The asshole. Why did he have the power to make her so angry?
She rounded a corner and aimed at Mitch’s vest. Just as she tagged him, Regina tagged her. “Aw!” she hollered, then laughed, a deep, hearty belly laugh that tore through her with such force that she fell back against the wall. She covered her mouth, realizing that she’d lose the game if she played like a dork. But, damn, that laugh felt good.
They played a second game and then headed back toward home. They were covered in sweat and laughing as they climbed into the taxi.
“NightCaps?” Mitch suggested.
“El?” Dex asked.
She loved that he consulted her. “Sure, but no rum and Coke for me.”
“Lightweight,” Regina said. She handed Ellie a Twizzler. “Power food.”
Ellie took the Twizzler, and sitting between Regina and Dex, she felt…happy. Markedly happy. She wondered if the euphoria she was feeling was what normal people felt every day. People who hadn’t grown up in a string of different houses, always feeling like an outsider, on the defensive, ready to bolt. That’s it. I don’t feel like an outsider with them. I feel like I’m part of their group. Part of their family. The idea of family warmed her soul, even if it wasn’t a nuclear family. She’d take a family of friends that she could count on over no family any day of the week.
NightCaps was packed. Dex slung an arm over her shoulder as they made their way to the back of the bar, where Regina slipped into a booth just as a couple vacated it. Dex took Ellie’s hand in his and said, “This is where it all began.”
Ellie shook her head. “No. It all began back on Carlisle Street.” Actually, even that wasn’t true. It all started the day she was taken from her mother and placed in the foster system when she was just five years old.
“What are we drinking?” Regina asked.
“I can’t be trusted when I drink, so whatever you order for me, please don’t let me have more than one.” Ellie put her hand on Dex’s leg. He covered it with his own and pulled her close.
“I won’t let you get too blitzed,” he promised.
“Yeah, I’d trust that face.” Regina rolled her eyes. “Dex said you have an idea for educational software on its own platform. Sounds really cool, and if you need help, I’d love to be part of it.”
“Me too,” Mitch said.
“Who’s gonna do the Thrive work?” Dex acted insulted, but Ellie could tell by his smile that he was only teasing.
“Your forty-seven other employees,” Mitch said. “We’re offering to help, not take over. Besides, look at all our free time. What else are we gonna do? Sleep?”
“You guys work harder than anyone I know,” Ellie admitted.
“You should have seen Dex before he opened Thrive. He literally worked for eighteen hours each day. He worked from the moment he woke up without a break.” Mitch nodded at Dex. “When I met him, which wasn’t long before he opened Thrive, he was surviving on fast food and coffee.”
“Remember how we all used to crash in Dex’s living room?” Regina laughed. “Trust me on this, Ellie. Waking up in the same room as these two guys after two days of not showering is not pleasant. I don’t know what it is with men. They eat, sleep, work, and showering doesn’t even come into play.”
“Dex showers,” she said, remembering earlier that morning when they’d shared a shower and he’d washed her body. Then loved it until she could barely remember her name.
“Maybe now, but when he was in design mode?” She waved her hand in front of her nose. “Whew.”
“Okay, enough.” Dex flagged the waitress down and ordered their drinks. “Did you eat today?” he asked Ellie.
“A little.” She looked at Regina. “Do you guys want to share something? I probably shouldn’t drink on an empty stomach.”
They ordered appetizers, and Dex’s phone vibrated. He checked the text.
“Hell yeah. We just broke preorder records.” He let out a whoop. “Time to celebrate.”
“We are on fire. You were right to release on time, Dex. Ballsy move, but a good one. No need to kowtow to KI.” Mitch held his fist up above the table, and Dex bumped it with his own.
“Isn’t it crazy, Ellie, that the guy you knew in high school is now one of the most successful game developers in the United States?” Regina leaned back and stretched an arm across the back of the booth.
Mitch looked at her. “Don’t make a move on me, tattoo girl.”
She pushed him.
In the days they’d been together, Ellie had been so wrapped up in finding a job, getting over Bruce, and trying to figure out how to be a normal person in a relationship that Dex’s career success hadn’t even crossed her mind. Just another thing that made her weirder than the next girl.
“When I think of Dex, I see the spindly, sweet-eyed teenager who made me feel safe for the first time in my life. He could be a garbage man or the president, and I probably wouldn’t notice. And I definitely wouldn’t care.” She felt her cheeks flush and realized that she’d just revealed her heart to Dex’s closest friends and admitted something that she had yet to admit to herself.
Dex kissed the side of her forehead.
“Jesus, Dex. Where were you hiding her all this time? And please, Ellie, can I clone you?” Mitch asked.
“Believe me, you don’t want to. I’m like a walking earthquake. You know if I’m around things will turn to chaos, but you never really know when.”
“Hey, that’s not true,” Dex said firmly.
“Oh, yes, it is.” Ellie nodded.
“Why?” Regina asked.
The waitress brought their drin
ks and appetizers, and Ellie sucked down a mouthful of her rum and Coke to ease the sting of the conversation.
“Why do you feel like you’re an earthquake?” Regina ignored the harsh stare Dex was giving her—the one he made no move to hide from Ellie. “You’re smart, you’re really nice, and you’re obviously really into Dex. Why do you feel like that?”
Ellie sighed. No one had ever taken the time to discuss why she felt like she did; they’d just accepted it. The same way she did. Or they flat out denied it, like Dex did. “Wherever I go and whatever I do, something always falls apart. Look at when I came to New York. I’m here less than a day and my friend abandons me, I wake up looking at some strange man’s junk, and then my purse gets stolen. That stuff doesn’t happen to anyone else that I know. I’m like black-cloud Ellie.”
“Stop. You’re not anything like that.” Dex squeezed her hand.
Flat-out denial.
“But those aren’t things that you did. Your girlfriend was a flake. The guy was…what? Drunk? Stupid? And your purse? Well, you are in New York.” Regina nibbled on a mozzarella stick.
“When’s the last time all that stuff happened to anyone you know?” Ellie asked.
They exchanged shrugs.
“My point exactly.” Ellie’s leg began to bounce beneath the table. “I’m gonna go to the ladies’ room. I’ll be right back.” She laid her jacket on the bench and headed for the narrow stairwell. She locked herself in a bathroom stall and breathed deeply.
She heard the bathroom door open.
Game of Love Page 15