Starting At Zero

by Jimi Hendrix

  {OTHER THAN AN APPEARANCE AT THE SALVATION CLUB IN NEW YORK ON SEPTEMBER 10, 1969, JIMI GAVE NO PUBLIC PERFORMANCES FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR. HE SPENT MOST OF THE TIME RECORDING AT THE RECORD PLANT.}

  I’ve been going through a lot of changes in the last two years. That’s why I haven’t released anything for a while. I’m very inconsistent, you know. It all depends on how I feel. There are no certain patterns I go by. Sometimes I write in a rush, but the things I’m writing now take a little longer to say.

  I’ll tell you the truth. I heard Are You Experienced? recently, and it seemed like I must have been high or something. I thought, “Damn, I wonder where my head was at when I said all those things.” Ha, ha! The mad scientist! Honest to God’s truth, I didn’t know what I was writing about then. I don’t consider it the invention of psychedelic music. It was just asking a lot of questions.

  Albums are nothing but personal diaries. When you hear somebody making music, they are baring a naked part of their soul to you, and Are You Experienced? was one of the most direct albums I’ve done. What it was saying was “Let me through the wall, man. I want you to dig it.” But later, when I got into other things, people couldn’t understand the changes. The trouble is, I’m schizophrenic in at least twelve different ways, and people can’t get used to it.

  There’s so many things I want to say and so little time that I get almost like a frustrated old maid. That’s why I go into these different moods, and I’m sometimes very temperamental. I can’t help it. I don’t think I’ll ever get the chance to do all the things I really want to do as far as music is concerned. But I can’t stop thinking about music. It’s in my mind every second of the day. I can’t fight it, so I groove with it.

  I’VE BEEN WORKING HARD ON MY NEXT ALBUM. It will be called Shine On Earth, Shine On or Gypsy Sun. We have about forty songs in the works, about half of them completed. A lot of it comprises jams, all spiritual stuff, very earthy. I am having a string section and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. It’s going to give a lot of people the answers to questions they are searching for. It’s going to straighten a lot of people out.

  There’s a great need for harmony between man and Earth. I think we are really screwing up that harmony by dumping garbage in the sea and air pollution and all that stuff. It’s not just a fad, it’s very serious.

  They talk about some kind of earthquake. Dig! Where all the earthquakes stem from is bad vibrations! They get very heavy sometimes. Some of the vibrations people claim they are getting now are true, considering the fact that the earth will be going through a physical change soon. The solar system is going through a change, and it’s going to affect the earth itself in about 30 years from now. Since the people are part of Earth, they are going to feel it too. In many ways they are a lot of the reason for causing it. This room is just a crumb from the crust of the pie, and there’s no moving from any one land to another to save yourself.

  Do not ignore the SUN ... for the sun is the truth shining to be seen.

  I HAVE LIVED HERE BEFORE THE DAYS OF ICE,

  AND OF COURSE THIS IS WHY I AM SO CONCERNED.

  AND I COME BACK TO FIND THE STARS MISPLACED

  AND THE SMELL OF A WORLD THAT HAS BURNED.

  We must prepare for the amazing way that the truth will be presented. What’s sometimes more amazing is how people miss the warnings of tidal waves, volcanoes, earthquakes, etc. I know inside they pretend to miss the message. We really don’t seem to care for our children. How can you push it off when eventually, in the long run, we shall be our own children?

  EVEN THE SUN IS HESITANT

  TO SHINE

  THROUGH SLAG-FILLED CLOUDS

  THAT COME FROM CROWDS

  OF FACTORIES COUGHING

  WASTE GRIT

  AND GRIME.

  THE AIR COULD BE CLEARER BUT,

  DEAR ME,

  WHO WOULD DARE THINK OF ALL

  THAT MONEY TO SPEND,

  BLESS ITS LITTLE PAPER HEART,

  JUST TO KEEP FROM

  BREATHING FILTH AND

  GASEOUS SLIME?

  {TOWARD THE END OF 1969, NUMEROUS PROBLEMS WERE BUILDING UP IN JIMI’S LIFE: A LAWSUIT OVER AN OLD CONTRACT WITH PPX ENTERPRISES; FAILURE TO DELIVER A NEW ALBUM TO WARNER BROS. FOR OVER A YEAR; FINANCIAL PROBLEMS DUE TO THE BUILDING OF ELECTRIC LADY STUDIOS; AND PRESSURE FROM HIS MANAGEMENT TO KEEP ON TOURING.}

  I don’t know what’s happening. I’m so exhausted, you know. I get destroyed by all these press conferences, by all unnecessary disturbing things. I have no time for my music. I just want to relax and think about myself and my music for a while. I want to bring my guitar, walk onstage and play, and then vanish, away from questions and people.

  I haven’t had time off by myself since I’ve been in this scene. I couldn’t even save up some money and go to the hills because there’s always problems, always hang-ups. I am very tired. Not physically. Mentally. My head’s in a position now where I have to take a rest, or else I’ll completely crack up pretty soon, in the next few hours or days. Seems like a – what do you call those things? Nervous breakdown. I’ve had about three of them since I’ve been in this business.

  When you first make it the demands on you are very great. For some people they are just too heavy. You can sit back, fat and satisfied, or you can run away from it, which is what I did. I don’t try to live up to anything anymore. If I’m free, it’s because I’m always running.

  I tend to feel like a victim of public opinion. They want to know about these girls, kicking people in the ass, doing the power to the people sign. I cut my hair, and they say, “Why’d you cut your hair, Jimi?” It was breaking up. They say, “Where’d you get those socks? What made you wear blue socks today?”

  Then I started asking myself questions. Did I take too much solo? Should I have said thank you to that girl? Maybe I should grow my hair back. It’s something to hide behind.

  I GET STONED AND I CAN’T GO HOME,

  BUT I’M CALLING LONG DISTANCE

  ON A PUBLIC SAXOPHONE.

  MY HEAD IS DIZZY AND SHAKEN,

  FEEL LIKE I GOT RUN OVER BY PUBLIC OPINION

  AND THE PAST.

  I can’t help isolating myself from the world. Sometimes I just want to be left alone. Most people would like to retire and just disappear from the scene, which I’d LOVE to do, but then there’s still things I’d like to say. There’s so much rubbish going on by. I wish it wasn’t so important to me. I wish I could just turn my mind off, you know, forget about the scene. But I worry about my music. You worry about anything you’ve built your whole life around.

  I’m here to communicate. That’s my reason for being around, it’s what it’s all about. I want to turn people on and let them know what’s happening. Even if they have nine-to-five jobs and come back to the TV, that’s what counts, to keep turned on.

  {ANOTHER PRESSURE ON JIMI WAS THE IMPENDING TRIAL FOR DRUG POSSESSION I N CANADA. CONVICTION COULD MEAN UP TO SEVEN YEARS IN JAIL.}

  {ON NOVEMBER 11, 1969, JIMI RECEIVED A LETTER FROM HIS ATTORNEY HENRY STEINGARTEN.}

  Dear Jimi,

  I was disappointed that you did not show up yesterday for our meeting. I tried to get you at the hotel but you were out. There are several things we have to straighten out and soon. These are as follows: 1. The Toronto case is scheduled for trial on Dec. 1st. We are all to meet at the Royal York Hotel in Toronto the evening of Nov. 29th. We will spend the following day with O. Driscoll preparing the case. Sharon Lawrence, Leslie Perrin, Bob Levine, Mike Jeffery and possibly Chas Chandler will all be there. I want to talk to you about this before we all go up to Toronto.

  It may be of interest to you that Mark Stein’s case for possession of narcotics was tried on Oct. 24th in Montreal and he was acquitted. His was a more difficult case than yours. In your absence yesterday I signed an agreement with Warner Bros. whereby if you fail for a period of three months to deliver an album to them as required under your contract, they may mix one from your reels. There are two a
lbums now due. One for Capitol and the other for Warner. The editor is subject to your approval as is the album itself, and you have the right to substitute from material which you find unsuitable, but all this is under a tight schedule.

  The legal expenses are rapidly becoming enormous ... The damage to the Woodstock house you rented came to $5,000 which also has to be paid. We do not have the money at this time to meet your obligations, and a good part of what you will be receiving from Warner and Sealark will go to meet these expenses. I have repeatedly tried to get you to understand the serious situation in which you find yourself and to urge you to cut down on your spending. I must repeat this is vitally necessary and I should like to take some of the money and invest it for you so that it is not available for immediate spending ...

  DECEMBER 8, 1969, JIMI RETURNED TO CANADA FOR HIS COURT CASE.

  JUDGE:

  What use could this aluminum tube have?

  JIMI:

  Probably a peashooter. I really don’t know what it is. Someone must have put it in my bag.

  JUDGE:

  Do your fans ever give you drugs?

  JIMI:

  All the time.

  JUDGE:

  Are you saying you’ve given up drugs entirely?

  JIMI:

  I’ve outgrown it.

  JIMI WAS ACQUITTED ON ALL CHARGES.

  I FEEL GOOD, HAPPY AS HELL. Canada has given me the best Christmas present I ever had. Man, it’s a real game. But just don’t blow it. Don’t blow it. The Canadian government was just doing its job. To each his own. Sometimes people are too sensitive, as I was. Look what could have happened to me, even when I don’t use drugs anymore. It’s true, it’s true! I don’t take as much. That’s what I was trying to tell them.

  Quite naturally, people don’t really need drugs. There are other things that you can actually benefit from. You know my song, I Don’t Live Today – Maybe Tomorrow? That’s where it’s at. Things were getting too pretentious, too complicated. People were singing about acid itself! Things start to rule you. Images, drugs. Everybody forgets what happened to God. The soul must rule, not drugs. You should rule yourself and give God a chance.

  The drug scene was opening up things in people’s minds, giving them things that they just couldn’t handle. The term “blowing someone’s mind” is valid. People like you to blow their minds. Well, music can do that. You don’t need any drugs. Music is a safe type of high. It’s more the way it’s supposed to be. That’s where highness came from anyway, I guess. It’s nothing but rhythm and motion.

  Once you have some type of rhythm it can get hypnotic.

  If you keep repeating it over and over again, most people will fall off after about a minute. You do that,

  say for three or four or even five minutes, if you can stand it, and then it releases a certain thing inside of a person’s head.

  So, all of a sudden, you can bring the rhythm down a little bit, and then say what you want to say right into that little gap.

  AS LONG AS YOU WANT TO BELIEVE THE WORLD IS A STAGE,

  THEN APPOINT ME YOUR ELECTRIC STAGEHAND ...

  AND I SHALL PRODUCE UPON YOU AN

  OVERWHELMING HURRICANE

  AND SLING YOU THROUGH TO THE VAST MIDDLE

  AND LET YOUR BODY THERE TREMBLE – BUT FORCE TO STAND.

  THE MIDDLE, AS CALM AS AN UNTOUCHED BABY’S BRAIN.

  I SHALL LET IT DRAIN AWAY YOUR CLAMMY NERVE

  AND TAKE MY FINGER AND SCRAPE

  AROUND THE EDGE OF THE BOWL

  AND IN YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS EAR I SHALL SERVE IT.

  AND WHAT YOU WILL WITNESS WILL NOT BE

  FROM MY LIMBS DIRECT

  BUT BY PROXY, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR OWN SCRIPT ...

  ARE YOU SATISFIED OR DO YOU WANT TO STAY THE LIMIT?

  What’s happening is that there’s a sixth sense coming in. Everybody has their own name for it, but I call it “Free Soul.” That’s why everything is beyond the eyes now. You have to know how to develop other things that will carry you further and more clearly. They say the speed of light is the fastest thing – that’s the eyes – but then there’s the speed of thought, which is beyond that. For instance, you can get on the other side of this theme in a matter of thinking about it. That’s why music is magic.

  You can listen to anything that turns you on, anything that takes you for a ride. You have to ride with something.

  People want to be taken somewhere.

  I always like to take people on trips.

  When I’m playing, man,

  I go up in a rocket ship.

  Don’t know where I’m going to go,

  but you can all come with me, every one of you if you want.

  Join me on my ship.

  IT’S VERY FAR AWAY,

  IT TAKES ABOUT HALF A DAY TO GET THERE,

  IF WE TRAVEL BY MY ... DRAGONFLY.

  NO, IT’S NOT IN SPAIN, BUT ALL THE SAME,

  YOU KNOW IT’S A GROOVY NAME,

  AND THE WIND’S JUST RIGHT ...

  HANG ON, MY DARLING,

  HANG ON IF YOU WANNA GO.

  YOU KNOW IT’S A REALLY GROOVY PLACE,

  WITH JUST A LITTLE BIT OF SPANISH CASTLE MAGIC.

  It’s all in your mind.

  {JIMI’S RECORD LABEL, WARNER BROS., REACHED A SETTLEMENT GIVING PPX AND ITS DISTRIBUTOR, CAPITOL RECORDS, THE RIGHTS TO JIMI’S NEXT ALBUM.}

  CAPITOL RECORDS WERE PUSHING US FOR A NEW RECORD, so I got Buddy Miles on drums and Billy Cox on bass. We spent twelve to eighteen hours a day practicing this whole last week, straight ahead! We were just getting off, that’s all. We’d say “rehearsing” just to make it sound official. And then we went to a little funky club and jammed down there to test it out and see how the air was. We’re calling it the Band Of Gypsys, because that’s what we are. That’s what all musicians are. The whole world is their front porch.

  Musically, we try to keep it together. That’s why the personnel in groups changes all the time – because they’re always searching for that certain little thing. The fact of calling it Gypsys means it could even expand on personnel and so forth. I might not even be there all the time. Buddy might not even be there all the time. But the core, the whole, the child will be there.

  We’re just going to be laying down what we see today. That’s our theme. Not sad blues, blues today. We have one song called Earth Blues. It’s all bottom. It’s all rhythm. Buddy is getting all the voices together so they will become another instrument. We do a thing called Them Changes, too. Buddy wrote this one, and I’d like to have him sing it. And we do this one called Message To Love. Everybody’s rappin’ about love, so we’ll put in our two cents’ worth and see what it sounds like ...

  WELL WORLD,

  I SAID WE’RE TRAVELIN AT A SPEED

  OF A REBORN MAN.

  WE GOT A LOT OF LOVE TO GIVE,

  YA BETTER COME ON IF YA CAN.

  I’M TALKIN BOUT LOVE,

  DON’T TRY TO RUN AWAY.

  CHECK YOURSELF OUT BABY,

  AND THEN COME WITH ME TODAY.

  The background of our music is a spiritual blues thing. Now I want to bring it down to earth. I want to get back to the blues, because that’s what I am. When music goes too far out and is in danger of becoming a technique, people always come back to basic honesty. That’s why the blues and country & western music are at the foundations of our popular music.

  The blues are easy to play, but not to feel. You’ve got to know much more than the mere technicalities of notes. You’ve got to know sounds and what goes between the notes. Most people believe that to be a good blues musician one has to suffer. I don’t believe this. When I hear certain notes I feel real happy. I just like the sound of the blues. We used to say a thing like, if you don’t have no blues with you, we’ll make some to take home.

  Blues is part of America.

  Blues will never die.

  {TO SATISFY THE PPX-CAPITOL SETTLEMENT, THE BAND OF GYPSYS RECORDED THEIR DEBUT AT THE FILLMORE EAST IN NEW
YORK.}

  We went onstage New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day at the Fillmore East. That first set was really tight. It was scary. Buddy’s going to do most of the singing. I’d rather just play. In England they made me sing, but Buddy has the right voice, so he’s going to do the singing from now on. Anyway, I can’t do the screaming out and hollering bit much longer. Music can make it for you, I know, but I’m not quite as good as Bing Crosby.

  {ON JANUARY 28, 1970, THE BAND OF GYPSYS MADE THEIR FINAL APPEARANCE AT A BENEFIT CONCERT FOR THE VIETNAM MORATORIUM COMMITTEE AT MADISON SQUARE GARDEN. JIMI ABRUPTLY WALKED OFF STAGE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SECOND NUMBER.}

  It was just something where the head changes. Just going through changes, I really couldn’t tell you the truth. I was very tired. Sometimes there’s a lot of things that add up in your head about this and that, and they hit you at a very peculiar time, which happened to be at that peace rally. And there I am fighting the biggest war I’ve ever fought in my life – inside, you know? And that wasn’t the place to do it, so I just unmasked appearances.

  I figure that Madison Square Garden was like the end of a big long fairy tale. It’s the best ending I could possibly have come up with. It’s like the end of a beginning.

  {AFTER THE ABORTED MADISON SQUARE GARDEN CONCERT, MIKE JEFFERY FIRED BUDDY MILES AND TRIED TO REFORM THE ORIGINAL EXPERIENCE. JIMI HAD OTHER PLANS.}

  The Experience got into a cul-de-sac. We played for three years and had reached the stage where we were just repeating ourselves. Mitch will be playing with me. He’s never been better than he is now. Noel is definitely and confidently out.