Soul in Darkness

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Soul in Darkness Page 17

by Wendy Higgins


  “Are we going to lose?” Another tear slid down each cheek.

  “No.” He released my wrists, but I kept them above my head as he took my face, wiping away my tears. “We are going to win, Psyche.” He kissed my lips. “We must.”

  PROMISE

  Happiness was, of course, fleeting. It fled from me each morning as my husband left my side. Each day I became more and more desperate for his companionship. I wanted our bodies touching every moment we were together. I yearned all day for him to be inside of me, for our breaths to intertwine, for his hands to caress me, his lips to kiss mine. I felt as if his attention in the darkness of night could chase away all the despair I felt during the day.

  And each night after we made fervent love, he would ask for my feelings. I answered truthfully, always: joy, bliss, satisfaction, even ecstasy. No amount of positive affirmation seemed to appease him. I felt him growing more and more frustrated.

  “What is it you want from me?” I had shouted last night.

  “You know I cannot say!” he had yelled in return. And then he held me, rocking me, kissing silent apologies across my face until the frustrated tension eased from my being.

  This morning I was awoken to his thumb rubbing gently back and forth over my hip. I felt fully rested, but it was still pitch black. He did not want to turn on the sun yet—he was not ready to leave me.

  “What are you thinking, Husband?” I whispered into the darkness.

  “If only I could say,” he whispered back. His solemnness hit me in the chest. “You tell me you are happy, but you are not.”

  Guilt tugged at my gut. “I am happy when we are together.”

  “And when you are not with me?”

  I pressed my lips together. “I attempt to keep busy, and I am grateful for the love of Mino and Sphinx, even Renae, but…”

  “But?”

  I swallowed the burn of moisture. “The loneliness is overwhelming.”

  I heard him rub his face, sighing deeply. “You miss your home.”

  “My family.” I choked up. “My sisters. What I wouldn’t give to see them once more.” Saying the words out loud, picturing their faces, brought the emotion to the surface and I inhaled, exhaling the emotion away.

  He pulled me close, my back against his chest, and held me.

  “What if I promised to bring your sisters here for one hour? Would that suffice?”

  Hope reared up, causing me to drag in a breath of shock.

  “You can do that?”

  He paused. “Yes.”

  I sat up, facing him, though I couldn’t see a thing. “All this time I could have seen my sisters?” The truth of it hit me with a painful smack.

  He cleared his throat. “There is no rule against it, but it is not best for our situation.”

  My forehead furrowed. “This is like you keeping Renae from playing games with me. You want me only to yourself!”

  “Of course, I do,” he growled. “You forget what is going on here!”

  A chill ratcheted up my spine. The game.

  “I have been forced to make decisions that I believed would help,” he said stiffly. “In retrospect, not all of those decisions have worked.”

  I couldn’t help the small grin that graced my lips. He was apologizing, and he clearly was not accustomed to admitting when he’d been mistaken.

  I bounced a little. “So, they can come? Truly?”

  “Yes, Psyche,” he said on an exhale. “Just this once. I beg you to make the most of it.”

  I let out a small, excited screech. “I want to hug you!”

  “Do not dare.” He chuckled, and I clapped my hands.

  My sisters! Oh, glory!

  Vibrant excitement filled me. I grabbed the covers and leaned forward, searching for him with my face. He helped me out, landing his lips on mine with a laugh.

  “You had better dress.”

  “Not yet,” I said, leaning forward to touch my tongue to his.

  He made that satisfying sound in the back of his throat and my body warmed, tensing and preparing.

  “Psyche…I must go very soon.”

  “Husband…” There was one position we hadn’t done yet. I turned on my hands and knees and peered back over my shoulder in the darkness. “Not yet.” My heart gave a pound of nervousness followed by flutters that made me short of breath.

  I heard his wings flap as he came up on his knees behind me, running a firm hand from the back of my neck, down my spine to my bottom.

  “Are you being a bad little Princess?” He grasped my hips and yanked me to him, pressing himself flush against the line of my core. He was hard and ready.

  “Only for you,” I said, brazenly rubbing up and down his length.

  He entered me from behind and I gasped at the new sensation, feeling fuller than I ever had in our time together. At first his strokes were unhurried, pulling all the way out and sliding back in with agonizing slowness, as if both savoring and preparing. But then his baser instincts seemed to take over, and I had to hold tight to the blankets as he thrust into me, smacking his hips to my bottom, rocking the whole bed.

  It was sensation overload; the friction hitting my sensitive spots just enough to set me over the edge. We found our summit together, riding the waves of pleasure until he all but collapsed on top of me, pressing my belly into the bed, his chest against my back. I felt the air tighten as his wings surrounded us, combining our breaths in the small space, dizzying my head. He kissed the side of my face, and a deep feeling blossomed throughout my entire being.

  The feeling was the most intense I had ever experienced: a mix of devotion and protectiveness. My heart pounded fiercely at the thought of what I had come to feel for him. Love.

  “Tell me, Psyche,” he said in my ear, as he did after every lovemaking session.

  I swallowed hard, suddenly terrified and filled with doubt.

  “I…”

  He pulled back, his body tensing. “Yes?”

  A tremble coursed through me. “I liked that.”

  His tension went slack. He placed a soft kiss to my hairline and pulled out of me on an exhaled breath. But he said nothing. I felt his weight shift as he climbed from the bed.

  I sat up and pulled the blanket over my lap. A fragile outer layer formed over me as I questioned everything. Was I mad to love him? He was my husband and he had proven his devotion to me, had he not? It was only logical that our time together would turn to love. So, why was I hesitant to tell him, or to even feel it, for that matter?

  Dim light filled the room through the windows, waking Mino, who had magically slept through our morning escapade. Or maybe my husband had silently commanded the animals to remain asleep. Sphinx rubbed against my back with a loud, high meow, and Mino excitedly jumped into my arms, his tail smacking back and forth. I petted them both and wished them good morning.

  “I will let them out,” my husband said, kissing my forehead and lifting both animals. I giggled at their floating bodies. “Get yourself ready. I will arrange passage for your sisters now.”

  I covered my mouth to hide an enormous smile. “Thank you, Husband.”

  “Do not thank me,” he said with gentleness.

  I felt the suctioning sensation of complete aloneness when they left the room, but for the first time since I’d come here, I was not plied with horrible solitude. I jumped from the bed, running to wash and find just the right dress—something pretty, but not too fancy—and then for my hair.

  I had never wanted for anything in my life, and yet, I had never felt whole. Ironically, at that very moment, I felt for the first time as if I had it all. My health. The care and comfort of a partner. Sweet animals that adored me. And now the companionship of my sisters. Wealth beyond measure seemed the least of my blessings. It was all about the other souls in my life.

  I finished my hair with a delicate crown of brass vines that sat daintily across my head, nestled into my dark waves.

  “Oh, Princess, look at you.”

&n
bsp; I turned toward Renae’s voice in the doorway to the bedchamber. “Am I presentable?”

  “The smile,” she said. “It sets you apart.”

  “You are too kind.” I clasped my hands together to resist hugging her.

  “I will be setting up a brunch meal for you and your sisters. Can I bring you tea and something to eat before that?”

  “No, thank you. I’m too excited to have anything just now. Brunch sounds perfect!”

  I practically danced my way out of the room, humming a tune that I adored as Renae giggled behind me. She was most likely laughing at my inability to keep a tune or rhythm, but it mattered not. She’d never seen me like this, of course, because I had not felt this happy since I arrived. Now that I knew it was possible to see my family, perhaps next time I could request Mother and Papa to come. The thought of being able to see my loved ones, even if it were only now and then, would make future days here far more bearable.

  Outside, I swept Mino up into my arms and showered his face with kisses, laughing as he squirmed like mad to try and repay the favor. The garden looked especially beautiful and inviting that morning as I set Mino down and we played a game of chase until Sphinx burst out from within a Pegasus’s leafy leg to pounce on him. I marveled at how they’d both grown a little, appearing longer and lankier. How long had I had them now? It seemed to have happened so fast.

  I was still pondering the passage of time when I heard a commotion from afar and stopped to listen. High, feminine voices came from the direction of the hills. My face split into a gigantic smile and I grabbed the lower layers of my stola, ready to run.

  My sisters were here.

  DAWN AND MIRACLE

  “Is that her?” I heard Miracle say.

  “It is! Psyche!” Dawn yelled, and the three of us were running, them down the hill, me up it, until we collided in a tight embrace, all three of us crying.

  “Oh, how I’ve missed you,” I cried. “Tell me everything! How are Mother and Papa?”

  “Is it really you?” Miracle pulled away and took my face. “Our parents will be worlds better when they hear of our meeting.”

  “Oh, Miracle!” I could scarcely see her through my wet eyes. “I never thought I’d see you again!” I grasped her again, kissing her cheek, and then doing the same to Dawn, who gawked at me, holding me at arm’s length to let her eyes roam from my tiny crown to my leather sandals that tied up my calves.

  “How…” Dawn’s voice trailed off as her arms dropped. “But you look so well!”

  “I am well.” I smiled and nearly laughed at their shocked expressions. “I hope you have not worried too much.”

  “Of course, we have!” Miracle said, her voice quavering.

  I took her cheek in my hand, sad to know she had suffered.

  “Worry no more, Sister. Come, Renae has prepared a meal. I will tell you everything.”

  I took both of their hands and practically skipped between them as they walked, murmuring in awe about the grounds. They both gasped as Mino ran up at full speed, jumping and sniffing and going ‘round in circles of excitement.

  I let go of their hands to pick up the puppy. “This is Mino, short for Minotaur. Isn’t he just beastly?” His tongue lolled out as he licked clean up my cheek, and my sisters laughed, still appearing shocked and unable to process what they were seeing. I couldn’t blame them. I set down the pup and took their hands again. The sooner I could explain everything and set their minds at ease, the better.

  Dawn gaped at the walkway. “Is that gold? Truly?”

  “It is,” I said, slightly uncomfortable with the strange look upon her face. I felt almost…guilty. “Come on.” I led them forward.

  When we got to the table, I was glad to see it was already set with a mouth-watering assortment of finger foods, sweets, tea, and wine.

  “Come, sit!” I led them each to a seat and sat before them. “Tea to start? Or straight to the wine?” I didn’t drink wine, as it soured my stomach, but both of my sisters adored it.

  They looked at each other, and Miracle was first to shake her head.

  “I’m not sure we should be eating or drinking anything here.”

  “Not to worry,” I assured her. “It is all human food. No nectar or ambrosia. I eat it every day.” I popped a roasted, stuffed fig in my mouth and said, “Mmm.” I could not stop smiling.

  “I am really not hungry,” Miracle said as Dawn shook her head. “I ate when I first woke, before the strange man showed and told me I was being summoned to see you.”

  I patted my mouth with the napkin, my stomach sinking at her seriousness.

  “I apologize,” I said. “I hope you didn’t have important plans that were interrupted. I was not certain how this would work.”

  “I thought you were dead,” she whispered, her voice cracking. “I thought I was being summoned to get your body. He would tell me nothing. Not where we were going. Not how you were. Only that he was taking me to see you and I would be home by nightfall. So ominous.” She covered her mouth, and I saw that Dawn’s eyes were watering, just as my own were. I reached across the table and took both of their hands.

  “I cannot imagine how frightened you were. And knowing how these immortals are, you probably weren’t given much of a choice.”

  Dawn said, “He blindfolded us and took us into the air! I had never been more terrified. I was sure it would be my death.”

  I tried not to smile. “Do you know who it was?”

  “He called himself Zep,” Miracle said. “He was a creature of few words.”

  I had no idea who that was. I shook my head, then lowered a healthy piece of pork down to Mino.

  “I apologize again. I told my husband this morning how lonely I was for you and he shocked me by saying you could come for a visit. I couldn’t believe it. I have missed you both so.” I swallowed down the emotion, wanting them to see that I was fine and feeling strong. But they knew me better than that. They had always been able to see the fissures in my personality better than anyone else.

  “Please, darling sister,” Miracle said. “Tell us everything from the moment you arrived.”

  I held my hands in my lap as I began, chronicling the days of fright, and how my husband was only ever gentle and kind and tried to touch me in pleasing ways. I was careful not to give too many details of his sensuality. I was close to my sisters, but we’d never been that type of close.

  “And once I began to give him a chance, I found that we cared for one another, and I trusted him. He may be a creature of the godly realm, but he is no evil monster.”

  “Wait.” Dawn stopped me. “You have never touched him with your hands or seen him?”

  “Not once,” I said. “But I learned there is reason for it. And this is where things get mysterious and tricky. My husband is a powerful creature of Olympus—I’m not certain what, exactly—but he can control the atmosphere here. This land is his.” I waved my arms. “But someone, somehow, has either cursed him or bewitched some sort of deal upon him. Someone has power over him, and the two of us must work together to break it.”

  My sisters shared a wide-eyed look. I wished they would not appear so spooked.

  “I know this is hard to believe. Trust me, I’m living it, but everything I’m telling you is the truth.” I explained the game analogy to them, but skepticism was all over their faces. I began to feel panicked, talking faster and using my hands to explain, but Miracle buried her face in her hands and Dawn grimaced.

  “It is too late,” Miracle murmured into her hands, and when she looked up, it was at my other sister. Dawn nodded, grim.

  “What is too late?” I asked.

  She cast me a look of pity. “Psyche.” She took my hand. “There are…rumors.”

  “What rumors?”

  “About your husband.”

  My heart, which had been steady this entire time, began to trot.

  “What about him? I already told you, the ‘serpent’ part of the oracle’s claim was metaphorica
l. He is like a strong, powerful man with wings. Not like any sort of creature we learned about.”

  She peered at Dawn again, and I really wished they would stop sharing those damned conspiratorial glances, as if I couldn’t handle whatever knowledge was between them.

  “What is it?” I said, using all of my self-control not to shout.

  “Have the two of you…been intimate?”

  I blinked, the heat rising to my face. “He’s my husband,” I said as way of explanation. I pulled my hand from hers and began pouring myself a cup of tea while they exchanged yet another look. This time they did not bother to try and hide their horror.

  “He forced you,” Miracle said with anger.

  “No, he did not,” I assured her. “He waited until I was ready. It was my choice.”

  “Your choice?” Dawn asked. “You chose to have a monster rutting over you—”

  “It’s not like that!”

  Her eyes widened. “You take pleasure from him?”

  “He is my husband,” I said again, flushing. “Do you not take pleasure in yours?”

  Dawn’s eyes lowered to her lap and I felt a prickle of pity as I remembered Prince Drusus. Probably a selfish lover.

  “Oh, Psyche,” Miracle whispered.

  I should not feel ashamed. Of course, they wouldn’t understand. They had never spoken to him. They had not lived these awful days, not knowing what to believe, thinking they would be shredded to death at any moment. They had no idea the tenderness of his touch or the softness of his lips. That type of affection could not be faked.

  “There are things you need to know,” said Dawn. Her voice was stiff, like how she used to sound when she was jealous, but she couldn’t possibly be jealous of me in this situation, could she?

  “One week ago,” she said stiffly, “we came together as a family in Athens to make sacrifices on your behalf. Papa was begging the gods to release you.” I covered my mouth at the thought of our father doing that, and Dawn continued. “An old woman was there, a seer. She told us of your husband.”

 

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