by Kelly Myers
David said I could take all the time I needed, but what if he got tired of waiting for an answer? What if he decided any woman who took this much time to just make up her mind clearly is too young and immature for a serious relationship?
I was just trying to get it right, that’s all. I just didn’t want to make the wrong choice and mess up David’s life or his daughters’ lives.
I start moaning and flapping my hands. I need to fix this, I need to fix it right now.
What if I text him to meet me somewhere, and he doesn’t even answer? What if he ignores me?
Just when I’m about to tear my hair out with the need to take action, I get a text.
It’s from David, and he’s asking if I can meet him at Hamlin Park in 15 minutes. I answer saying yes, right away.
My heart is still racing, but my fear slides away. I’ll see him in fifteen minutes. I’ll explain everything. I’ll tell him that I don’t need any more time. I’m ready to be with him, and Amy is ready too.
Hamlin Park is less than 10 minutes from my apartment, but I know I can’t wait. I grab my purse and dash back out the door.
For a moment, I consider my outfit and think about changing. I need to do laundry, so pickings were slim when it came to cute clothes this morning. Am I really going to declare my love for David in worn black boyfriend jeans and a faded blue blouse? I shrug it off. I don’t have the patience to pick out a cute summer dress, and it doesn’t matter anyway. I just need to get to David, he won’t care what I’m wearing.
When I reach the park, I skirt around the baseball field and hover near the playground. I’ve only been wringing my hands for a few minutes when David appears at the gate. I nearly start sobbing. It feels so good to see him walking tall towards me.
Come on, stay composed, I tell myself. Keep it together.
The somber expression on David’s face makes my heart sink. He stops in front of me and stands with his arms dangling. There’s a light breeze in the warm evening air and it tousles his hair.
“David,” I whisper. In my panic, I didn’t bother to organize my thoughts. I don’t even know where to begin.
Before I can launch into a speech, David speaks. “That was your ex, wasn’t it?”
“Yes, but –”
“I know I’m a long shot, Elena,” David says. “I know that guy is someone you’ve known for a while, and clearly he’s come to his senses and wants you back, and he’s your age, and he doesn’t have kids or a dead wife, so I get it. I understand if he’s the better choice.”
I shake my head and widen my eyes. David doesn’t understand. He can’t see himself the way I can. He’s a far superior choice to Logan, any day.
“And I wanted to give you time to make up your mind about me, but I couldn’t just let him have you without trying one last time,” David says. “Because I want you to know that I love you. I love the way you smile when you talk about suggested reading lists. I love how your hair curls around your face. I love how kind and sweet you are. I love that my daughters adore you, and I know it’s a lot, asking you to take us all on, but I know you could be good for them. I know they need you just as much as I need you.”
David takes a deep breath and just looks at me for a moment. I’m rendered speechless. By this point, I shouldn’t be surprised by how direct he is, but I’m overwhelmed by how he has so easily spoken the truth in his heart.
“I know you’re concerned about my daughters, but they’ve both told me they would be ok with it,” David says. “Trust me, I would not be here if I didn’t believe them.”
I step forward and touch his forearm. “Amy talked to me today as well.”
“What did she say?” David reaches up and presses his hand into my hair.
I give him a teasing smile. “She told me you were moping by the phone waiting for me to call.”
David laughs, but there’s still a question in his eyes. “Elena, you deserve someone great. I want to be that person for you. Please. Please choose me.”
“It’s not even a choice,” I say. “Logan wanted us to get back together, and he just showed up outside of school today, but you saw me telling him now. That was goodbye. There’s no competition, it’s you. I want you.”
The words have barely left my mouth before David crushes his lips to mine. He claims me as his with his kiss, once and for all, and I eagerly hold onto his shoulders, as my head tips back.
David holds me against him, and I can think of nothing except how I want his warm capable hands to touch me each and every day for the rest of my life.
“Elena, I love you,” David says. “I know it’s soon, but I think I’m old enough to know when it’s real.”
“I love you too.” I stand on my tiptoes and plant a firm kiss on his lips. “I’m probably too young to know for sure, but I know anyway.”
David tips back his head and laughs, and the sound is so divine that I swear my heart expands.
He kisses me again, and I can’t stop smiling.
After all the agony of trying to make a decision. After all my pent-up desire for him, at last I’m holding onto what I want. At last, I think I’m at least in the running for my happy ending.
Epilogue
One Year Later...
I run my hand over the full white skirt, and I let out a breathy sigh of joy.
I always wanted a summer wedding. David asked me over and over if I was sure I wanted a small wedding in our backyard.
“This is your first wedding,” he said. “Don’t feel like you have to tone it down on my account.”
I didn’t want anything big or fancy though, I never have. I just wanted close friends and family. And David and Amy and Kate. That’s all I need.
And this perfect dress. I knew the moment I tried it on a few months ago, with Bea and Marianne and Zoe all crowded onto one couch at the dress shop, that this was the dress.
It’s a simple fitted bodied that poofs out into a tulle skirt that only hits my ankles. It’s romantic, yet understated. Elegant, yet not overdone.
As soon as I declared it was for sure the dress, all my friends were shocked.
“You don’t want to mull over this decision for another week or two?” Beatrice jokes. “Do a few meditations?”
“No,” I said. “I can make this decision right here, right now.”
So I have the perfect dress, and now the day has arrived at last, and it’s sunny and bright with a cloudless blue sky. I’m sitting upstairs in the room David and I have been sharing for more than half a year. It didn’t seem like it was too soon for me to move in. I was already spending all my time there.
We tried to take it slow, but Amy and Kate were the ones who wanted to spend more time with me. And after one family dinner, I was hooked. David was right: once they got used to the idea of me dating him, they were enthusiastic about my presence. They begged me to attend all their dance concerts and soccer games in the fall, and I was happy to oblige.
It felt so nice to belong to a family unit. I enjoyed walking home from school with Amy and Kate and then helping David make dinner. I liked tucking the girls into bed, and then sitting up and chatting with David. Never once have I felt burdened by the children. They only make everything with David better. They only make me appreciate him more.
I did have to endure the gossip at school. Over the summer, David and the girls and I got to live in a perfect little bubble. We took day trips to the beach, and I started to watch the girls while David had hospital shifts sometimes, so we could all get used to each other.
The bubble had to burst when school started again. For the first few weeks, the halls were buzzing with the news that Lakeview Middle School’s single father of two David Russo was dating his daughter’s former English teacher.
It wasn’t so bad. I had to field a few questions from my nose co-workers, and David and I lived in constant fear that Amy was going to get teased. The students were pretty nonplussed though. They asked Amy if it was weird to see Miss Ramirez outside of school
, and she told them all it was awesome, which of course made me smile from ear to ear.
After a few short weeks, the gossip died down. David and I became just another couple. Amy put on cute little airs about getting to visit my office while she waited for me to finish work and walk her home, and Kate is already saying she wants to be in my class when she reaches the seventh grade.
I continued paying rent on my studio, but when my lease was up, David suggested I didn’t renew it. He asked me to marry him instead. Another easy decision, even for me.
Bea comes bustling into the bedroom, her pink bridesmaid dress flowing behind her in a gauzy cloud.
I turn and smile up at her, and her face scrunches right up. “You’re gonna make me cry, you look so lovely. And you know I don’t get sentimental.”
“It’s my wedding day, you all have to cry in honor of me and my waterworks.”
Marianne appears in the doorway, her golden hair glimmering. “I’ve already cried twice, don’t you worry.”
“I haven’t.” Zoe pushes her way past Marianne. “Everyone is here. Your family, David’s parents. I’ve ushered them all to the backyard.”
I smile. It wouldn’t be my wedding day if Zoe wasn’t bossing everyone around, the very picture of efficiency.
My friends met David after we started officially dating, and they fell in love with him as quickly as I did. Marianne thinks he is the height of sophistication, and she’s always saying he reminds her of famous actors. Beatrice says he brings out the best in me. And Zoe likes to talk with David about business investments and the stock market. David says that given Zoe’s iron will, she really should have become a doctor.
Marianne crouches by my side. “ok, your makeup needs just a few finishing touches.”
She digs around in her massive box of cosmetics, collected from years of theater experience, and she yanks out a pink lip gloss and some sparkling highlighter.
I hold still as she dabs the highlighter on my cheekbones, and then I apply the final layer of lip gloss.
“Perfect,” Marianne says.
There’s a clamber of feet in the hallway, and then Amy appears in the doorway, Kate clutching her sister’s hand.
I reach up and adjust the flower that’s tucked behind my ear. I left my hair down. For David, I had to.
They’re the flower girls, and in their matching blue dresses, they look so adorable I just want to pick them up and hug them forever.
“Elena, you look so beautiful,” Amy says.
Kate rushes towards me and jumps into my lap. Amy already liked me as a teacher, so once she got used to calling me by my name and not “Miss Ramirez,” it was smooth sailing. But I was surprised by how fast Kate has become attached to me.
David is a great father, but the girl was starved for female attention. As soon as I started visiting the house, she insisted I see all her dolls and look at her closet and tell her all my favorite fairy tales. I was honored to oblige.
“I’ve practiced throwing my flowers all morning,” Kate declares.
I pull her into my lap and give her a little squeeze. “I’m sure you’ll be perfect.”
Amy stops by my side and reaches out to touch the silky fabric of my skirt.
“Are you excited?” Amy asks.
“Yes,” I say. “And so happy.”
“Dad is excited too,” Kate squeals. “And a bit nervous, and he told me to tell you that he can’t wait to see you.”
I laugh and give Kate one last squeeze before I stand up.
“We had better start to head down,” I say.
I reach over and grip Bea’s hands, and I see the telltale tear in the corner of her eye.
“Alright, ladies, let’s line up!” Zoe barks.
Zoe is in her element, bossing everyone around, and I can tell she’s thrown herself into the logistics because she doesn’t want to break down or get too emotional. She just wants to give me the perfect wedding.
I’m already excited for dinner. Zoe organized the whole thing. She picked out a caterer to prepare a simple family-style meal, and we’re going to eat on a long table outside in the garden. Bea and Marianne and I spent all of the day before decorating the space with candles in mason jars, twinkle lights and bouquets of fresh flowers.
I look forward to spending a long evening among the people I love most. There will be no massive party, no crazy music or drinking. Just the people I’m closest to. And then they’ll all go to their homes, and I’ll be in my new home, with my new perfect family.
Kate and Amy each grip one of Zoe’s hands as she leads them down the stairs. They act like Zoe is a drill marshal, and they’re little soldiers, and it’s the cutest thing.
I follow Marianne and Bea down the stairs, gripping my bouquet as the nerves start to set in. It may be small, but it’s still my wedding day.
Then I peer down the hallway and through the open backdoor. And there’s David, standing tall under a little wooden arch draped with flowers.
As the procession of flower girls and bridesmaids trickle out into the yard and down the tiny grass aisle, David keeps his eyes on the door.
I watch his chest heave with emotion when I step into the light. All my nerves evaporate when I meet his steady gazy.
I know I’m doing the exact right thing. And all of a sudden, I can’t wait for the rest of my life.
Excerpt: Forbidden Daddy
Mr. McHottie lives right next door.
He’s older, and I’m just a college student.
Add some icing on the cake.
He’s my landlord.
An unexpected twist of fate throws us together.
I’m just trying to make it through the final weeks of college before heading off to med school.
It takes one misunderstanding to ruin everything.
One look at the pregnancy strip,
One twist of fate…
And I’m wondering if Nate can be more than a fun distraction.
Do second chances really exist?
Cynthia
I scan my anatomy notes one last time before scooping them up and shoving the papers into my backpack.
My friend Becca taps her foot with impatience.
“I’m coming, I’m coming,” I say.
My other friend Tommy grins. “Cynthia, you’ve been obsessively studying for days, you’re not going to learn anything extra by reading your notes again.”
I roll my eyes and shrug. I’m used to their teasing. The three of us are all pre-med, so our college friendship has been four long years of studying together. It’s the spring semester of our senior year, and we’re all into medical school, so the pressure is off. Even so, I want to finish my courses on a high note so I can start med school strong this fall.
I shrug my backpack onto my shoulder and push my long dark hair off my face. “Ok, I’m ready.”
“Finally.” Becca turns on her heel and heads towards the stairs leading to the library exit.
Becca’s blonde head bounces in front of me, and Tommy walks behind me. I’ve grown so used to my two best friends, it’s going to be strange next year without them. Becca is off to Texas for medical school, and I’m going to New York City. Tommy will be close by in Philly, but it won’t be the same. We won’t meet up every evening in our little corner of the library to study.
Our college campus is small and idyllic, nestled in a small town in Upstate New York. I’m a creature of habit, so I’ve grown so comfortable in my routine here. The city will be so different.
But it will be worth it. All I’ve ever wanted is to be a doctor. Even when I was a kid in elementary school, it was my dream. Once my fifth grade teacher made us create little posters about ourselves to present to the class, and I wrote at the very top: “My name is Cynthia Lannon, and one day I’m going to be a doctor.”
The three of us head across the quad. Becca is gushing about some guy in her painting class.
“And yesterday he totally initiated conversation with me,” Becca says. “But,
like, he could just be nice, ya know?”
I nod along. In our friendship, Becca is for sure the boy-crazy one.
Tommy makes eye contact with me and rolls his eyes. I smile and shrug. I’ve grown used to Becca’s endless chatter. I can be quiet, so I’ve always been drawn to talkative friends.
“Wanna grab dinner?” Tommy asks.
“Oh, I’ve been dying to try that new taco place,” Becca says. “Let’s go tonight!”
I glance down at my watch. “I dunno, it’s already late, and I still want to get a few more things done.”
“Oh, come on, Cynthia,” Becca says. “Let loose a little!”
“It’s not even letting loose.” Tommy twists his mouth into a wry smile. “It’s just tacos.”
I shrug. I’m used to my friends teasing me for always choosing studying or being alone over social events. I’m an introvert, and I like to stick to my schedules, that’s all. Spontaneous adjustments to my well-laid plans are my absolute worst enemy.
“Well, if you’re not down, I’ll just head back to my dorm,” Becca says. “Maybe I’ll even text Brad, he mentioned he might be free tonight.”
As much as I love to plan everything well in advance, my best friend Becca loves to plan things last minute.
“You should do it for sure,” I say. “I have a good feeling about you and him.”
Becca sighs. “I guess it’s stupid to try and start something when we’re graduating in two months.”
“But you can’t help it,” I say with a laugh.
Becca nods in agreement and waves goodbye as she turns towards her dorm. Throughout her college years, Becca has had romance after romance. They never last long, and some of them have ended badly, but she is always ready to plunge into the next one. I don’t have that kind of optimism. Or bravery.
So I’ve been single my entire life. Becca has convinced me to go on a few dates over the years, but they were always such disasters, I never tried for a second date with anyone. Becca sometimes asks me if I’m really ok graduating college as a virgin, but I always tell her it’s not a big deal.