by Amy Andrews
‘Stable.’
He looked down at Brooke. Her head was wrapped in a turban-like head bundle. Her eyes were puffy and bruised-looking. Her tiny body was criss-crossed with a multitude of fluid lines and monitoring wires. A bag of blood was running with all the other fluids.
She looked pale, although not as pale as her sister. ‘What’s her haemoglobin?’
‘Ninety.’
Gabe nodded, satisfied with the figure considering all that Brooke had been through and was still to endure. She was by no means out of the woods yet. ‘Let’s get her to ICU.’
He turned back to Bridie. Beth was assisting one of the plastics team, who was closing the gaping head wound amidst a flurry of clean-up activity. He stood beside her.
‘Nearly done,’ Beth said.
‘Thanks,’ Gabe said, admiring the surgeon’s neat suturing.
Beth was hyper-aware of him beside her. Being intimate with him had given her a crash course in his body language and, getting to know him and his perfectionism in the last months, she guessed he was reliving those last moments, searching for something he could have done differently. Maybe wondering what his father would have done.
‘Why don’t you go and talk to Scott and June?’ she suggested, knowing there was no use in second-guessing him.
She made a mental note to organise a series of team debriefs. Everyone involved had a huge emotional investment in the case. It would be a bond they’d share for ever. It was important to be able to discuss their reactions to the marathon surgery and the less than ideal outcome.
Gabe nodded, dreading the moment he would have to tell the Fishers that their precious little Bridie hadn’t pulled through. It didn’t matter that they’d been given a very guarded prognosis and this type of outcome had been discussed at length with them. One of their daughters was dead. No matter how prepared someone was for that, it would still rock them to the core.
CHAPTER SEVEN
THE clean-up was a mammoth task and Beth stayed to help out. The number of instrument trays alone they’d been through added up to the amount they’d normally use in one day for all ten theatres. She slipped into the dirty corridor and gave the staff there a hand before sitting at her desk and reworking the week’s roster.
Several of the nursing staff involved in the Fisher case were due back on tomorrow morning and Beth stayed until she’d been able to give them two days off and still cover the roster. It involved ringing staff at home and begging favours and also organising agency cover but she managed it.
She had half expected Gabe to drop by and was absurdly disappointed when he didn’t. She was worried about him and needed to reassure herself that he was OK. She decided to drop into the PICU on her way to Barney’s for the team get-together, guessing correctly that Gabe would be there.
Brooke was in a side room and her nurse brushed past Beth as she approached, leaving Gabe alone in the room with the surviving twin. Scott and June were absent. Beth stood silently in the doorway, watching Gabe talk quietly to Brooke.
‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered, stroking the fingers of her tiny pale hand encumbered by an arterial line. ‘I tried, we all did…but your sister was…very weak. She’s always going to be with you, though. In here.’ Gabe lightly tapped Brooke’s chest, expertly avoiding the wires that snaked haphazardly across her tiny body that could trigger an alarm.
Beth backed away, tears in her eyes. The crack in his voice was heartbreaking and it wasn’t right to intrude on his private vigil. Her thoughts were jumbled and she knew it was a dangerous moment. A moment when she could have crazy fantasies of love and white picket fences. Beth knew thoughts such as those shouldn’t be given any credence at times like this so she quashed them ruthlessly as she left the ICU and walked quickly away.
The sun was setting as she walked across the road to Barney’s. The team was meeting for a quick meal and a casual debrief, and Beth knew it was vital to support her staff in this area. All her nurses had been affected by Bridie’s death and she knew it was important to lead by example and attend these all important sessions, be they casual or formal.
The mood was subdued. There was satisfaction and immense pride that Brooke had made it but it was overshadowed by Bridie’s death. To Beth’s surprise, Gabe wasn’t there, and she suspected that this contributed to the general gloom.
Gabe had been the leader and his positivity and enthusiasm had buoyed them all whenever the task had seemed too overwhelming. Now that things hadn’t gone according to plan, everyone was looking for some reassurance that they hadn’t let him down.
Beth’s feelings see-sawed from her earlier tenderness to plain annoyed. And every time the pub door opened and everyone’s heads swiveled, looking for Gabe, she got crankier. His no-show had been inconsiderate of the team’s needs. The team that had worked their butts off beside him. That were as emotionally invested in the Fisher case as he had been. His absence had left them rudderless.
The group broke up early. Everyone was tired after the marathon surgery and the loss of Bridie had put a dampener on their spirits. Beth imagined that had both twins pulled through, they would have partied late into the night, despite their exhaustion. The gathering felt anti-climatic rather than a celebration of an amazing feat.
Beth headed straight for Gabe’s hotel, her irritation having increased as she’d watched her colleagues leave Barney’s, their shoulders slumped. He couldn’t build them up and then desert them when his grand vision had failed. He’d known the odds had been long from the beginning, and he should have been at Barney’s with them, commiserating and assuring them that everyone had done all they’d been able to.
She had a brief thought as she rapped on his door that he might not even be at the hotel, but that was soon proved wrong when he opened the door. Shirtless.
Gabe stared at her. ‘You’re not room service.’
Beth stared back, her gaze dragged downwards to his magnificently bare chest. ‘No.’
He stood aside. ‘Do you want to come in?’
With you half-naked? But considering she’d come to give him a piece of her mind, she thought it better to do it in the privacy of his room. She walked through his doorway, taking special care not to brush against him.
‘Do you want a drink?’ he asked, staring at her very erect back.
‘No,’ she said abruptly, angrier now that her thoughts had been scattered by the sight of his beautifully hard chest.
Gabe shrugged. ‘I’m getting some chips from room service. I can order extra if you like.’
Beth turned. ‘I’ve eaten. At Barney’s. With everyone else.’
Gabe saw the accusation glitter in her blue eyes. ‘Yeah, sorry about that. I was wrecked.’
He did look exhausted. The shadow of stubble that had been growing at his jaw was more pronounced now. His caramel hair was rumpled. Beth folded her arms across her chest and hardened her heart. ‘We were all wrecked.’
Gabe heard the steel in her reply. He took a moment to look at her. Her lips were a tight line. Her spine ramrod straight. Her crossed arms relaying her complete disapproval. ‘You’re annoyed with me.’
‘The team needed you to be there tonight, Gabe. Debrief is mandatory. That’s what you told me a few months ago.’
Gabe rubbed his hands through his hair. ‘I know. Look, I’m sorry…I just didn’t feel like a post-mortem. Talking with the Fishers was hard. I just needed to be alone. To think.’
‘How were they?’ she asked, her stance softening.
‘Distraught,’ Gabe said, clenching his fists by his sides as visions of a sobbing Scott reran in his head.
Beth knew from his clipped reply that it must have been bad. He looked so tired, the subdued light in the room making the lines on his forehead look more prominent. He’d always looked younger than his thirty three years but tonight he looked every one of them and a few more. It couldn’t have been easy talking to Brooke and Bridie’s parents.
She felt her own weariness responding to his
. His voice washed over her and with his chest looking all smooth and inviting she could feel her anger dissolving.
She had the absurd urge to lay her head against him and shut her eyes like she had in this very hotel room a few months ago.
Beth sighed. ‘I know that must have been awful but all the team needed was a few words of thanks, of encouragement. Every single one of us felt Bridie’s death too, Gabe.’
Gabe felt lousy. She was right. He’d been self-centred. There was a knock at the door. ‘That’ll be room service.’
Beth nodded. ‘I’ll go. I know you want to be alone. I just wanted you to know you have some fence-mending to do.’
‘No,’ Gabe said, putting a hand out as she backed towards the door. ‘Don’t go. I don’t want to be alone. Not now you’re here.’
Beth felt heat slam into her. Her legs turned to jelly, making any further retreat impossible. She had to go. The emotional roller-coaster of the marathon surgery was still too raw between them. The things he’d said to Brooke still too fresh in her mind. It was dangerous to be near him when they were both still so keyed up.
But the plea in his eyes was hard to ignore and as he brushed past her to answer the door, his male scent wafted towards her and her stomach lurched.
Gabe took the tray from the waiter and set it down on the bed. He noticed Beth still hadn’t moved. She was wearing cargo pants and a T-shirt that clung to her breasts and was standing as still as a statue, looking at the bed like it was a monster from the deep.
‘How about we eat on the balcony?’ he suggested.
Beth knew she was powerless to say no. She’d stood beside Gabe for the last thirty odd-hours, watched while he’d valiantly tried to bring Bridie back from the brink. And he wanted her to stay and she couldn’t deny him his request. The balcony was good. Anywhere but the bed.
She swallowed. ‘As long as you put a shirt on.’ She knew her voice was husky and hated herself for it, but there was no way she could sit opposite a shirtless Gabe with his sexy accent and six-pack abs and not think about how she had put her mouth on every inch of him.
The hair at Gabe’s neck prickled. Beth wanted him. He felt tendrils of sensation crawl along his spine and shoot to his groin. Despite his professional façade, he hadn’t stopped wanting her since their night together, and right now he wanted her more than ever.
He picked his shirt up from the edge of the bed, where he’d slung it when he’d first entered the room. He held her gaze as he pulled it over his head and dragged it down.
‘Better?’ he asked huskily.
No. ‘Thank you,’ she said, and commanded her legs to walk out to the balcony.
After some initial awkwardness they settled into small talk. Gabe drank cold beer from the mini-bar and they watched the lights of the River Cats down below, ferrying customers from one side to the other. They avoided any talk of the operation.
‘I can’t believe you’re actually living in a hotel for seven months,’ Beth said as she took in the magnificent city view.
He shrugged. ‘It was part of my contract. There didn’t seem to be any point renting for such a short term.’
Short term. The words reverberated around her head. She nodded as her gaze fell on his bed. Had he brought anyone else back here? Short-term job. Short-term women? Had she been one of many?
Not that it mattered or was any of her business if he had. Or that she should be thinking about it while he talked about whatever it was that he was talking about.
‘And there’s this study that I’m involved in…’
His career. Right. He was talking about his career. He had a promising career on the other side of the world. She removed her eyes from the temptation and the memories of his bed, plastered a smile on her face and nodded at him encouragingly.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said a few minutes later. ‘I’m prattling. I guess we really should be talking about the thing we’ve avoided taking about for too long. The baby.’
Beth felt like she was plunging down a loop on a roller-coaster as her stomach dropped. Not tonight. She didn’t have the emotional fortitude for that.
‘No.’ She smiled, placing a hand on her belly. ‘Let’s not. Not now. It’s been a big weekend and we’re both tired. I don’t have the stamina for a deep and meaningful conversation. Prattling’s good.’
An hour later Gabe stifled a yawn as Beth told him about some local tourist spots. He remembered the overwhelming weariness from his last two separations but this time it was different. The success of those ops had offset the tiredness. He couldn’t remember having felt more tired.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said rising to collect the plates. ‘You must be exhausted. I’ll go.’
No. Don’t go. He didn’t want to be alone tonight. Gabe shrugged, rising also, his pulse accelerating, humming along with the beat of the city spread out below them. Would she stay if he asked? ‘No more than you. We’ve both had very little sleep in the last couple of days.’
‘Yes, but you’ve borne the brunt of all the pressure. You broke the bad news to June and Scott. That sort of thing takes it out of you more than just physically, Gabe.’
The way she said his name felt like a caress. Like she’d stroked her hand along his belly. ‘I like it when you call me Gabe,’ he said softly, placing a stilling hand on hers as she reached for his empty beer bottle.
His hand felt warm and vibrant against hers. No. This was all wrong. This was too…everything. Too much. Definitely too much.
‘Stay.’
Beth felt her mouth turn as dry as ash. A slight breeze ruffled his hair. ‘No.’ She moved around the table to go inside, dishes in hand, and he stepped in front of the doors, blocking her exit.
‘Gabe,’ she croaked.
His groin surged again at the ache in her voice as she said his name. ‘Please. I need you tonight. I think we need each other.’
Beth could feel her resolve melting. Fast. ‘Gabe,’ she whispered. She wasn’t strong enough for this. ‘Don’t ask me this. Not tonight.’
Gabe could see she was battling her desire. Knew that an honourable man would stand aside and let her pass. But he wasn’t strong enough to deny what he’d wanted every day since that first time.
‘You know you want to.’
Beth swallowed. Her eyes fluttered shut for a few seconds. When she opened them again he’d stepped closer. He took the dishes from her unresisting fingers and set them on the table, allowing him to move closer still. She could feel his body heat enveloping her, his warm breath sweet on her face.
She watched mesmerised as his hand gently pushed back a lock of her hair that had fallen forward. His hand cupped her jaw, his thumb stroking lazily down her neck.
‘Beth,’ he whispered.
He was staring at her mouth and she ached to feel his lips on hers. She swallowed to moisten her parched mouth as she swayed towards him. She mustered her last remnant of sense. ‘We shouldn’t be doing this,’ she croaked. ‘Things are complicated enough.’
‘Yes, they are,’ Gabe whispered, his gaze not leaving her mouth. She was so close, her mouth so near he could almost taste her, and he wanted her so much his body throbbed.
‘Can you walk away?’he asked softly. I sure as hell can’t.
Beth shook her head, not sure she could articulate a response. His intense gaze on her mouth was breathtakingly erotic.
‘Neither can I,’ he groaned as he dropped his head and claimed her lips.
All rational thought and reasons for not doing what they were doing fled as Beth melted against him. She felt boneless and weightless and completely unable to support herself. She clung to him as his kiss plundered her mouth and ravaged her body.
He was breathing hard and she was shocked to hear her own ragged breathing match his. She sounded crazed, desperate, dragging in air as the kiss deepened and the whole world spun crazily around her. Gabe was the only thing solid and not moving and she held him tight, anchoring her body to his.
Gabe backe
d Beth against the glass, the scent of citrus filling his senses, igniting his desire. His need to be surrounded by her, to touch her naked skin was frantic, bordering on reckless. He yanked her shirt out of her waistband and gave a guttural groan as he felt her hands at his fly.
A siren on the street below broke through the sultry city hum and pierced through the haze of lust encapsulating them. Gabe pulled away from the kiss, placing his forehead against hers as he struggled for breath.
‘Hell,’ he muttered. He would have had her here. Standing against the glass where people in half of the surrounding hotels could watch them. She was tired. And pregnant.
‘Gabe?’ Beth whimpered, looking at him with a dazed expression, her mouth swollen and moist from their passion. Her head was spinning, her pulse echoing loudly in her head, making coherent thought beyond her. ‘Don’t stop.’
‘Shh,’ he whispered, placing two fingers against her mouth. ‘Let’s go inside.’ He opened the sliding glass doors and held out his hand to her.
Beth took his hand without hesitation and he backed in as she followed. Their gazes stayed locked.
‘This is better,’ he said as the city noises receded. His calves hit the edge of the bed. ‘More private.’
Beth nodded. Not that she could have cared. The sight of Gabe looking sexy as hell obliterated everything. His hair was messy and his lips were still moist from her mouth. His fly was gaping and a peak of underwear was visible past his half-untucked shirt.
She stepped closer and reached for the hem of his shirt. ‘I want this off,’ she said huskily.
Gabe grinned. ‘On. Off. Make up your mind.’
‘Off,’ she said testily, frustrated by her desire to see all of him.
Gabe swallowed at the impatient demand and raised his arms above his head.
Beth inched the shirt up slowly, pressing kisses along the hard planes of his chest as she revealed more and more skin. She stroked her tongue against his nipple and smiled to herself as she heard his swift intake of breath.
Then she pulled it over his head and claimed his mouth in a deep kiss that left them both wanting more.