by Dara Nelson
I turned and looked at Carlos, really looked at him. Shit, Matt was right. He’s always right. I nodded and quietly took Carlos’ hand. “Come on,” I whispered. As we walked down the aisle, I turned back to him and said, “You do realize what he and I were doing for over an hour in that bathroom, right?”
“Sarah, it really didn’t cross my mind for us to do that. Shit, I just need to talk to you,” he said.
I stopped, turned around and placed my hand on his chest, “Tell me what you want, Carlos. What do you really need from me?”
He stared at me for a second. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it and squeezed his eyes shut. Then he opened it again, looking at me, but closed it again. Finally, he took a deep breath and met my eyes, “I need to know that you’re going to be okay. I need to know that you’re not going to die or anything. I need, I need, shit, I don’t know what I need, Sarah.”
I stared at him for a few seconds. Shit, he really was a wreck. He was worse than a wreck. I placed my hand on his check and smiled at him. I leaned in and tenderly kissed him, then reached down and took his hand in mine. “Come on,” I whispered as I turned and led him the rest of the way to the restroom. I glanced down the aisle then quickly pulled him inside. “Carlos, I’d love to know that you and Matt are going to be okay too, but I can’t. None of us can know for sure that we’re all going to be okay. All we can know is that we’re going to be smart, not stupid, and that we’re all going to be there for each other.”
“I know that, but this is different,” he said.
“How? How is it different? How is it different than when we fought Malina? You were hot for me then, just like now. And how is it different than when Jonas showed up? How is it different, Carlos?”
He stared for a second. “I don’t know, Sarah. It just is, that’s all. It just is. It’s different now because we’ve been together. It’s different now because you’re a part of me.”
I smiled at him then put my hands on his face. “Carlos, don’t make me get tough with you. Get your fucking head straight. Who else can I count on, besides you and Matt, to cover my ass?”
“Jesus, I love you so much, Sarah. But I don’t want to hurt him, or you, anymore.”
“You’re going to hurt both of us, and yourself, if you can’t figure out what you need.”
“Shit, Sarah. We both know what I need, but I can’t have it. It’s not right.”
“Carlos, just shut up and kiss me. We’ll worry about right and wrong after we’ve gotten rid of those things and rescued everyone. Right now, just shut the hell up and kiss me.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me tight to him. Yep, complicated, I thought.
Almost an hour later, I lifted his head and locked my eyes with his. I watched as they burned brighter. I watched as the hunger returned to them. I watched as they came back to life. I knew we had to stop soon, I felt the train slowing down as it neared the station, but just like Matt, Carlos had been a man possessed, and I didn’t want him to stop until I knew his head was right. He growled and roughly crushed his mouth down on mine. I dragged my fingernails down his back and felt him shiver and groan. His pelvis crashed into mine as he angrily tried to make his exhausted body reach yet one more climax. His eyes changed and his fangs dropped and I knew that he was close. I arched my back and threw my head back as I neared my own. Suddenly, as he finally reached his, he buried his teeth, not in my neck, but in my breast. “Holy shit,” I cried, then I buried my teeth in the back of his neck as my own hit me like a tidal wave.
“Jesus, Carlos,” I shivered as he licked the bite marks on my breast, helping them heal.
“Sorry,” he said between licks, “couldn’t help myself.” Suddenly his head popped up and he hurriedly began dressing. “The train’s slowing down. We’ve got to go. We’ve got work to do. Come on, Sarah, hurry.”
“I’m just guessing here, but I’m thinking you’re feeling a little more like yourself. Am I right?” I said.
“Shit, I haven’t felt this good, this strong, this invincible, in a long time.”
“Glad I could help, I guess,” I said as I pulled my shirt on and zipped up my pants.
“Yeah, I feel weird about it too, Sarah. But, damn it if he wasn’t right.”
“Well, I wouldn’t go running up to him and trying to high-five him or anything about it. I’m guessing that the last thing that he needs is for you to rub it in his face.”
“I know, and I would never do that, Sarah. You know that. But the grin on my face? It appears to be permanent at the moment. I can’t help that,” he smiled and kissed my cheek.
“Oh, shut up,” I said as I pulled open the door and poked my head out. There were a few people making their way toward us. “Wait a few seconds then come out,” I said then I stepped out and pulled the door shut. I made it about halfway down the aisle when I heard it open again. I couldn’t stop myself. I looked back at him and smiled. We made our way back to our compartment just as the train came to a stop.
“I can’t go in there, Sarah.” he said.
“Carlos, you have to face him some time, and sooner rather than later would be better.”
“I know. But now? Right after? Really?”
“Yes, Carlos, now, right after,” Matt said as he opened the door. I winced as I saw the anger flash in his eyes but he looked at Carlos and seemed to relax a bit. He squeezed his eyes shut, took a deep breath then kissed my forehead. No more, I said to myself. I can’t do this anymore. I knew I was lying, but I had to try to believe it anyway, in order to keep my sanity.
“Go round up the others, please, Carlos. We’ll meet you on the platform, okay?” Matt said.
Carlos looked worried for a second. “Look, don’t be mad at her, Matt. She really didn’t want to do anything. I’m the one you should be mad at.”
Matt’s jaw flexed. “I’m not mad at anyone. I’d just like a minute alone with my wife so I can hold her in my arms. Or is that too much to fucking ask?”
He’s not mad at anyone, yeah, right. He’s mad at himself for telling me to do this. That’s who he’s mad at. Not me. Not Carlos. I locked my eyes on him, but quickly linked with Carlos, ‘Go. I’ll be fine. I’ll see you in a minute.’ Carlos waited another second then he turned and made his way up the aisle. I knew that the only way to fix Matt now was to get his anger off of himself, and on to me, where it belonged. I put my hands on his chest and shoved him into the compartment, slamming the door shut with my foot. “You do not get to pimp me out ever again, Matthew Pearl. I don’t care if someone’s on their deathbed, you don’t get do that. Never again will you make me do something that I don’t want to do. Do I make myself clear?” I yelled.
That did the trick. “Are you fucking kidding me? You didn’t want to do that, my ass. Don’t fucking stoop to lying now, Sarah. Honesty is just about the only redeeming quality you have left,” he yelled. Okay, that stung. Now, time for round two.
“Honesty? I wish that was a quality you still had. You keep telling me that you can handle this Carlos shit. You keep telling me that it’s okay. Not very honest of you is it?”
“I never said I was okay with it, damn it. I never said that. I said I was dealing with it, because, well, because it forced us to deal with it, didn’t it? I pretty much never had a choice. None of us did. This was going to happen no matter how hard you guys tried to stop it. We all know that. But okay with it? No, I’m not okay with it. But you’ve got me so blind with lust for you that I’d do anything for you, Sarah. Fucking anything.”
Oh crap, don’t say it Sarah. Please don’t say it, I thought right before I knew I was going to say it. Son of a bitch, my mind screamed at me. “Lust? Is that all you feel for me now? Lust? Well, way to fucking play me, Matthew. You’ve had me believing that you still loved me. Boy do I feel like an idiot.”
His hand flew up and came down toward my face. I tried to brace myself for the impact by holding my breath and squeezing my eyes shut. But at the last second, he shifted his swin
g and his hand landed on the door behind my head, sending it flying off its hinges and into the wall on the other side of the aisle. We both gasped and stared at it. Matt grabbed my chin and pulled my gaze back to his. He pressed his forehead to mine and very quietly said, “Don’t ever say that I don’t love you Sarah. Please, don’t ever say that. I love you more than anything. I love you more than I probably should. I love you so much that I’m trying to be okay with this. Is that not enough for you? Do I not give you enough? Do you need more from me? Because, if you do, please tell me and I’ll try to give you that too. Because I love you that much.” He brought his mouth down on mine and began giving me one of those kisses, stopping only because we heard an angry voice clear its throat behind us. It was the porter on the train. He was staring at the door and looked mad as hell. Matt quickly pulled a wad of cash out of his pocket and stuffed more than enough into the porter’s hand to cover the damage. “I apologize for my clumsiness. I tripped.” he said. The porter stuffed half the cash into his own pocket, then nodded and walked away.
I was completely stunned by what he had said to me. Stunned and speechless. I stumbled to the seat and sat down. Matt turned around and sat down next to me. “Do you want to know what bothers me the most about this, Sarah? Do you really want to know?”
I nodded my head and waited. “Truthfully, if I’m being totally honest to you and to myself, it’s not you two screwing that bothers me the most. I mean, yes, it kind of bothers me, but I can see how much he needs you right now and that you need him sometimes too, so I think I really could live with it occasionally. What really bothers me is what part of you is still just mine, Sarah? If he gets to be with you in the all the same ways I do, what belongs to me and only me? Is there anything left that’s just mine? Or is it all ours now?”
My heart soared. This one was easy. I didn’t blink. I didn’t hesitate. “Only you have my heart, Matthew. My heart would survive if he left. My heart would survive if he found someone else. It would hurt like hell, but my heart would even survive if he stopped being my friend. If you left, or if you stopped loving me my heart wouldn’t survive, because you and only you will always own my heart.”
He stared at me for a few seconds. Then he gently kissed my lips. “I can live with that, Sarah. Because that’s the best part of you. That I’m definitely okay with,” he whispered.
We walked out, hand in hand, and smiled at each other when we spotted Carlos hiding in the back of the crowd trying desperately not to make eye contact. Matt whispered, “Do you want to get him up here, Sarah? Or do you want me to scare the shit out of him by doing it myself?”
“We need him strong and brave, not terrified and skittish. I’ll get him,” I said, trying not to laugh. I linked with Carlos. ‘Are you okay, Sarah? Shit, this has been the longest wait of my life,’ he thought, the second he felt my mind in his.
‘Relax, Carlos. I’m fine. Matt’s fine. And you’re fine. But we need you up here right now to help figure out what our next move is.’
‘He’s not going to hit me again?’
I laughed out loud. “What’s so funny, Sarah?” Matt said.
“Ummm, Carlos wants to know if you’re going to hit him again.”
“Tell him ‘only if he doesn’t get his ass over here within the next five seconds.’”
Carlos moved quickly through the crowd towards us. “I heard, I heard,” he said.
“Okay. Let’s get everybody checked in to the hotel. Then we’ll wait until it’s dark to do some searching. We can cover more territory that way,” Matt said. “The hotel is that little inn just up the road. It’s small but it’ll work for now.” Suddenly Matt’s cell phone rang. “It’s Derek. Yes, Derek? He what? When? And you searched? Okay, thanks. Yeah, we just got here. Okay. I’ll be in touch.” He stuck it back in his pocket then looked at us. “Aquila’s gone.”
“What?!” We both said.
“When? How? Did anyone get hurt?” I asked.
Matt looked completely confused and shook his head. “No. That’s what is strange. You’d think he’d want revenge and go after any vampires he sees. But he didn’t. He didn’t even hurt the guard who was right outside his cell, he just knocked him out. Then he snuck out of the fortress and left. I don’t get it,” he said.
“I do,” I said. They both looked at me. “He’s coming here, to protect his father.”
Chapter Thirteen
“Oh,” they both said as they nodded with worried looks on their faces.
“Shit. He must have figured out that we’re coming. We need to move fast. We have to try to find the warehouse before he gets here. We sure as hell don’t want the priest to have warning that we’re here,” Matt said. “Let’s get checked in and head out right away. We can’t wait until it’s dark. We’ll just have to stay on foot until were away from the town.”
We all picked up our bags and made our way to the small inn just up the road. We had reserved ten rooms in advance, taking up a majority of the place. It was a gorgeous, ancient-looking hotel. The lobby had a huge common room off to the side with a large, round wooden table and a stone fireplace. As Matt handed out keys he said, “Put your things in your room, then meet us back here at the table.” Everyone nodded and headed off. Matt bought a map from the desk clerk, then headed toward the table. “Can you take our bags to the room then meet me back here, Sarah, please?”
I picked up our bags and headed down the narrow hall. As I came out of our room, Carlos came out of his, directly across the hall from ours. I rolled my eyes. “Seriously? Across the hall from ours? Really?” I said.
Carlos grinned. “Sorry, hun. Didn’t plan it. That’s just the key he gave me. Guess you just can’t get away from me, no matter how hard you try.”
“Oh, shut up.” I smiled as I slid my arm through his and we headed down the hall.
Matt had the map spread out on the table. He did a slight double-take as the two of us walked into the room together but he quickly went back to concentrating on the map. “Sarah, come take a look at this. See if you get a feel for where we should look,” he said.
I raised my eyebrow at him. “And how, exactly, am I supposed to get a feel for where to go?”
“I’m not getting anything on the tracking device, which either means that she’s not nearby or that she’s underground or behind thick stone walls. Sarah, you and Bahiti have transferred blood when you were helping her a few years back. I’m hoping that maybe that has linked you,” Matt said.
“He’s right, Sarah. I know it’s linked the two of you and it’s linked, ummm, oh shit,” Carlos stopped when I shot him a look that could kill. I threw my mind into his, ‘Are you fucking insane? He would know that the only time you and I would probably share blood is during sex. What happened to not rubbing it in his face?’
‘Damn it. I’m so sorry, Sarah. I wasn’t thinking. It just slipped out,’ Carlos thought.
Matt’s jaw clenched. He squeezed his eyes shut, then took a deep breath and went on, “Any ideas, Sarah?”
I gently reached down and set my hand on his, waiting. He took a few seconds, but then turned his over and laced his fingers through mine. I stared at the map, trying desperately to find what they were looking for. My eyes moved up and down and side to side, many times, but they kept being drawn to one spot. “What is Brasov?” I mumbled. I saw a look pass between Matt and Carlos. “What?”
“Just a second, Sarah. First, why Brasov? What is it that’s drawing you to it?” Matt said.
“I don’t know, Matt. Something about it seems familiar somehow, which doesn’t make sense because I’ve never been to Romania, ever. Why?”
“Mainly it’s just rumors,” Carlos said, “but there’s a church there called the Black Church. Legend has it that there’s a hidden basement and tunnel from the church to the Tampa Mountains, and that vampires were experimented on and tortured by numerous priests for centuries. But we’ve never been able to prove it.”
I stared at both of them for a few seconds.
“You’re kidding me, right? A place where priests supposedly have done crap to vampires for centuries and we’re looking for a priest who has manipulated the DNA of vampires and is using female vampires to create those things? Do you see the similarities here? Do you think it’s really just a coincidence? Really?”
“But the church is in the center of town. How are we going to get in there unnoticed to search for this hidden laboratory?” Matt asked.
“We’re not,” I said. “We’re going to find the entrance to the tunnel on the mountain and go in that way.”
“But Sarah, we’ve searched for that entrance hundreds of times over thousands of years. What makes you think we’ll be able to find it?” Carlos said.
“I will. No, I don’t know how I know that. I just know that I will,” I whispered.
“Okay, then our first stop needs to be at Aaron’s place. He’s about an hour from here. He bought an ancient castle to live in after he sold me the island. Said he wanted to get in touch with his history or something like that. He’s got weapons for us: flame throwers and grenades mostly,” Matt said. “Let’s head out in ten minutes. And Sarah,” he said as he cradled my face in his hands, “for God’s sakes, be careful out there. I, no we,” he glanced at Carlos then back at me, “wouldn’t survive if something happened to you. Got it?” His lips softly pressed down onto mine and I felt peace as I inhaled every ounce of his love for me.
The old woman behind the counter watched us with knowing eyes as we all made our way out the front door. I wanted to stop and talk to her. Ask her what she knew. Ask her what she had seen, but there wasn’t time. We made our way back to the train station and settled in on the platform to wait. The train was due to arrive in about twenty minutes, and then it was a forty minute ride to the next town. Aaron’s place was on the hillside above the next town. By the time we arrived there, it would be dark, and we could fly. We were all anxious and felt the urgency in the air. On the train, Matt’s hand was squeezed tight in mine. Carlos was sitting across from me. I looked at Carlos and knew that he needed to be next to me, and that I needed him next to me. The seat Matt and I were in was supposed to be for two people. “Honey? Can you scoot over a bit, please?” I whispered. Matt looked at me, looked at Carlos, then kissed my temple and moved over. I squished into the middle and held my hand out to Carlos, who quickly took it and shoved himself into the seat next to me. I heard him take a deep breath and felt him relax slightly. We stayed that way until the train pulled into the station. As we made our way off the train and into the station, I couldn’t seem to make my hands let go of either one of them. I didn’t care about the looks we were getting. And I didn’t care about the look and smirk we got from Aaron, who was waiting at the station. Nothing seemed to matter except for keeping both of them close to me. We walked through the station and found a dark, deserted alley. We checked both ways then took off into the sky. We landed behind the wall at Aaron’s place five minutes later. As we moved inside to where he had the weapons, I still couldn’t find a way to let go. “Sarah, we need to pick up our weapons,” Matt whispered.