by Dara Nelson
“Thanks, Doc,” Carlos said.
Cameron ran out the door, through the halls into the clinic and into Matt’s room. He was shocked to see Matt awake and sitting up. And Matt looked pissed as hell. “God damn it, Cameron. She’s here, I know she’s here. And she’s hurt. She’s in pain. I heard her scream. You have to let me go help her,” he said.
“Matt, you’ve been in a coma for two months. You can’t just wake up from that and go prancing down the halls. Let me check you out first. Susie? Can you bring me four pints please?”
“First of all, I don’t prance. And two months? That’s not funny, Cameron. I haven’t been out for two months.”
Cameron stared at him for a few moments then slowly nodded his head. Matt’s mouth fell open. His face showed the pain of realization. “Has she, has she been gone that entire time? Was she with Aquila the whole time?” he whispered.
“I should let her tell you, Matt. But she’s in bad shape right now. The only blood Aquila has access to is from blood banks, which means it’s mostly good blood. She’s strung out and it’s really bad.”
“Doc, you have to let me go help her, please? Where is she? Is she here in the clinic?”
Cameron shook his head. “Too many humans around here. Carlos has her locked in his room with him. She tried to bust out through the window to get to the humans outside when I was in there checking her out, Matt. I really mean it when I say she’s bad. Let me examine you first, then you can go to her, but only if you promise not to strain yourself.”
Matt leaned back on the bed as Cameron began his exam. “Doc? Did she? Did he? What happened to her?” he whispered.
Cameron shook his head. “No. She’s my patient, Matt. I can’t tell you anything. You need to ask her yourself. But do her a favor. Tell Carlos you’re coming first. Don’t just show up. She’s a mess. He might want to try to clean her up first…”
Which is exactly what Carlos was doing in his room. He had a firm grip on my shaking hand as he turned off the water in the tub. He lifted me up and gently set me down into the warm water full of wonderful smelling bubbles. I stared at him even though I couldn’t see him very well. My eyes were still changed and my fangs were still down, and my body was beginning to scream at me that I really, REALLY needed to feed – on the good stuff, even though Carlos had already helped me feed several times in the past half hour. I whimpered and Carlos leaned down and kissed my forehead. I was shivering and my teeth were chattering. He tilted my head back and poured water over my head then he started washing my hair – filthy hair that I hadn’t been able to wash for two months. It took two washings but he finally managed to get it clean. I pulled my knees up and wrapped my arms around them, trying to get my shivering under control. I turned my head to the side and tried to smile at him, but it was a pretty hopeless attempt. “You ready to get out now honey? Or do you want to stay in the warm water for a while longer?”
“I, I, I think I want to lie down for a while and maybe try to sleep.”
Carlos nodded and held open the towel for me. Using shaky arms, I managed to stand up. I gripped Carlos’ arm tight for balance as I stepped out, then I melted into his arms, getting his clothes soaking wet. I started sobbing again, hard, and he caught me when my legs gave out and carried me to bed. He helped me put on the large t-shirt that he had waiting on the bed for me, but I shook my head when he handed me the sweats. “Not yet. No pants yet. I’m still pretty sore, they might hurt,” I whispered. Carlos nodded and helped me lie down, climbing in right behind me and swallowing me up in his arms. I noticed his breathing stop for a minute and I turned and looked at him – his eyes were closed.
When they opened next he said, “Matt’s on his way, sweetie.”
At first I was happy. “He is? I was wondering where he was. He must have been busy in the office. How long has he been up and around?”
“Honey, he just woke up from his coma today, when you screamed. He heard your scream. That’s what brought him out of it.”
My face fell and my heart began racing. “He’s been in that coma this entire time? You mean he doesn’t know? He doesn’t know anything?”
Carlos kissed my forehead again and said, “It’ll be okay, Sarah. He’ll understand. But, no, he doesn’t know anything that happened to you.”
“But, I can’t, I’m not ready, I can’t talk about it, Carlos. I can’t do it, not yet. You have to tell him. Please?”
“I’ll tell him what I know, Sarah. But I don’t know everything. At some point you’re going to have to tell us both what actually happened. It’ll help you to heal.”
I nodded and tried not to cry again. “I know and I will, but not now. I need to at least break this addiction first.”
Suddenly there was a knock at Carlos’ front door. My whole body tensed up and started shaking. “Come in, and lock both deadbolts behind you,” Carlos said.
I curled into a ball and buried my face in my hands. “It’s okay, Sarah. Everything will be okay.” he whispered. I held my breath as I heard Matt’s footsteps as he approached the bedroom door.
Chapter Seventeen
He didn’t say a word when he opened the bedroom door. He just walked in, pulled off his slippers and climbed into the bed next to me. He reached down and coaxed my head up to look at him, and I saw the surprise on his face when I finally opened my eyes and looked at him. “She’s been stuck in hunting mode since she got back here,” Carlos whispered. Matt had his arms wrapped around me and Carlos was gently caressing my back, as if they both needed to be touching me in some way. And I was glad because that’s exactly what I needed too.
“Tell me what happened, please? Somebody please tell me,” Matt whispered.
“Not out loud. Please?” I groaned.
“Okay, hun. Look, Matt, I’ll tell you what I know, but she hasn’t told me everything,” he said then he quickly linked with Matt and continued the conversation silently as I desperately tried to fall asleep.
‘Aquila flew off with her to a cave, I think somewhere in Siberia. I’m not sure exactly where. I tried to find her. I tried desperately to find her, but I couldn’t. He kept her away from the mouth of the cave so she couldn’t see any landmarks or anything,’ Carlos began.
‘What about her tracking device? You never even got close enough for that?’ Matt thought.
‘Aquila knew about it and took it out of her before they reached the cave.’
‘But how did he know about it?’
‘He speaks English.’
‘No! So he knew what we were planning the entire time? Fuck!’
‘She must’ve known that I wouldn’t be able to find her, because she lied to me Matt. But I’m getting too far ahead. Okay, so he took her to this cave, and then, and then, when she was unconscious he, he, he raped her. He impregnated her.’
‘Jesus, no. So you found her before that thing tore out of her belly?’
Carlos ignored Matt’s question and went on, ‘So, she was pregnant. And she didn’t want, or she wasn’t ready to tell me. But I guessed. I could hear it in her voice. You know she always sucked at lying.’ Matt smiled a bit at this then waited for Carlos to continue. ‘Well, then she lied one more time, and it was the one time she was good at it, because I completely fell for it. I feel like such an idiot. God, how could I be so stupid?’
‘What did she say?’
‘When I guessed that she was pregnant, I asked what the gestational period was for those things. I didn’t know. Well, she must have really thought that I wasn’t going to find her in time, so she lied and told me it was seventy-five days, when the truth is it’s only sixty. When Bahiti told me that it was actually only sixty days, Sarah had been gone for sixty-five. I thought she was dead. For a few minutes I thought she was dead. And then Aquila showed up with her in the courtyard. He showed up with her, and their son. He had Sarah’s eyes Matt. Jesus, that baby had Sarah’s eyes.’
‘But, how? How is she still alive, Carlos? Was her belly torn open? Did Cameron sa
ve her?’ Matt thought.
‘No, Matt. It didn’t tear out of her belly. She delivered it.’
Matt gasped, he couldn’t help it. ‘Oh, God, no. Carlos? Are you sure?’
Carlos nodded his head.
‘But how?’
‘That I don’t have the answer to. We have to wait until she’s ready to tell us the answer to that one. Right now she’s not. Right now she’s too strung out to think about healing or anything else. Right now she needs us to get her through her withdrawals.’
‘She’s not going cold-turkey, is she?’ Matt said, and then he answered his own question. ‘Of course she is. She wouldn’t do it any other way, would she? Nothing is ever easy with her, is it?’ That comment from Matt drew a grin from Carlos. They both knew too well that nothing was ever easy with me.
Suddenly I shot up in bed, something neither of them was expecting. They both reached for my arms, but I was faster than both of them. I pushed Matt down with my elbow, then threw a right hook, punching Carlos in the eye and struggled to the end of the bed. When my feet hit the floor I made a beeline for the door, but they were both ready for that. Matt was blocking the door, and Carlos had me blocked from behind. I tried to move left, but they moved with me. I tried to move right, but Carlos grabbed my arms from behind and kept them pinned. I screamed at him as I kicked my legs at Matt. “Let me go you son of a bitch. I’m mother-fucking hungry and I can smell them out there. I can smell them all. I have to feed, you assholes. Let me fucking go right now!”
Matt grabbed my ankles and I thrashed around in their arms, trying desperately to break free. I managed to get one foot free and I kicked Matt in the chin, drawing blood from his mouth. As soon as I smelled it, my focus changed from trying to get away, to trying to get the blood. “Let me at it. Please let me at it,” I begged.
“Carlos, let her arms go. I’ve got her. You go heat some pints for her,” Matt said as he kept his eyes locked on me.
“You’re sure?” he said.
Matt nodded. The instant Carlos let go, I pounced on Matt and began licking his face, groaning as I did. But that blood soon disappeared and my focus began shifting back to the humans outside, until Carlos held a pint near my face. I grabbed it and drained it, holding my hand out for another while I did. Eight pints. I drained eight pints. And then it happened. For a brief moment, my eyes changed back and my fangs retracted. And for the first time since I’d been brought back, I saw them. I really saw them. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” I wailed as I placed one hand on Carlos’ eye and one on Matt’s chin. “What have I done? What have I done?”
“Sarah, don’t,” Carlos whispered.
“Honey, we’re fine,” Matt said.
I opened my mouth to respond, but then felt the fire in my belly. The first round of muscle cramps was here. “Oh, fuck,” I moaned. My eyes changed back, my teeth dropped, I grabbed my belly and screamed.
“Bath, Carlos, quick. I’ve got her,” Matt said as he scooped me into his arms. By the time he got me into the bathroom, every muscle in my body was locked up. Matt didn’t even bother taking his pajamas off, he just climbed directly into the tub with me on his lap. “Blood, Carlos. Lots of blood,” he said as he began massaging my jaw, trying to get it to unlock. Carlos returned a minute later with a dozen pints. He set them on the floor and then looked at Matt. “Her feet, start with her feet,” he said, then they both jumped as they heard the loud “pop” of my jaw opening. Carlos handed Matt the pints one by one. As soon as he handed him the last pint, Carlos went to work on my feet, while Matt began massaging my arms.
An hour and a half later, Matt gently placed me in the towel in Carlos’ arms, who then pulled me to his chest and walked back into the bedroom to grab another t-shirt for me, while Matt stripped off his wet clothes, dried off, and put on Carlos’ robe. When Matt walked into the bedroom, Carlos was sitting on the end of the bed with me on his lap, silently drying me. Matt walked over, picked up the t-shirt and guided it over my head. They both helped me put my arms into the sleeves then Carlos handed me to Matt, who walked to the side of the bed and gently set me down in the middle. Matt climbed in next to me on my left while Carlos climbed in on my right. They both gripped my hands tight in case I tried to escape again. “I’ll take first watch,” Matt whispered. “You get some sleep.”
“But you just came out of a coma, Matt. You should get some rest.”
“Carlos, I’ve been in a coma, asleep, for two months. More sleep is not something I need right now. I’m fine.” Carlos nodded and, exhausted as he was, he closed his eyes and quickly fell asleep.
Two months, that’s how long my recovery had taken. Two months. Well, the physical recovery anyways. It had been four months since Aquila dropped me off, but the mental and emotional recovery still hadn’t begun. It hadn’t begun because I was fighting it tooth and nail. I still couldn’t talk about anything that happened. I was trying to bury it and forget about it. And I thought I was doing fine. I was buried in my work at the clinic again. I’d get there really early and come home late at night exhausted. It helped keep the nightmares to a minimum. So I thought I was doing fine. Okay, so if I really thought about it, the fact that I still needed both of them sleeping on either side of me should have indicated to me that I wasn’t okay. The fact that nothing sexual had happened with either of them should have let me know that too. But I ignored those signs and tried my hardest to act like my old self. And I completely missed the fact that they knew without a doubt that I wasn’t okay, because they didn’t say anything. They just waited patiently, talking to each other about trying different tactics, trying to get me to come around on my own. But at the end of that fourth month, they decided that they had to try something different, because none of us could live like this forever. But I didn’t know that they had noticed anything was wrong, and I was in complete denial about it myself, so it was a huge surprise when I walked into our room at midnight, after another exhausting day in the clinic that had begun at five in the morning, and saw Matt and Carlos sitting on the end of the bed, with suitcases on the floor. The shock and fear of what I thought they were doing knocked the wind out of me. I crumpled to the floor and cried, “You’re both leaving me?” They both looked at each other, surprised at my reaction. But they couldn’t see the fragile state my heart was in now. It was teetering on the edge, ready to crash to the floor and shatter into a million pieces at any moment.
“Sarah, we’re going to the island. All of us,” Matt whispered.
“What? Why? I can’t leave now. The clinic needs me.”
“No, Sarah. The clinic doesn’t need you. We need you. The clinic will be fine without you for a while. We’re not fine, none of us are. We all need some time away from all of this. It’s time, Sarah,” Carlos said. I gasped and clutched my belly when Carlos said the same words Aquila had said to me. The memories that I had been trying for months to suppress came flooding back. Well, almost all of them. The pain of the pregnancy. The pleasure of the addiction, the good blood. The pain of the delivery, and something else. A memory that I couldn’t quite grasp. Something about the baby’s face. My mind stopped the memories there; it just refused to go any farther.
“Oh, Jesus, no. I can’t.”
They moved to either side of me and took my hands in theirs, helping me to stand up.
“Yes, you can, Sarah,” Matt said.
“But you weren’t there, you don’t understand,” I cried.
“So, help us, Sarah. Help us to understand,” Carlos whispered.
“But I want to forget. I’m trying to forget. I’m perfectly fine now. I’m working, the addiction is gone. Everything’s fine. Everything’s normal.” I said, knowing that I wasn’t fooling anyone, but I had to try.
Matt shook his head. “Nothing is normal, Sarah. When’s the last time you thought about holding either one of us. When’s the last time you thought about kissing either one of us? When’s the last time you thought about making love? When’s the last time you wanted to make lo
ve? You haven’t thought about it since you came back, have you? Not even once, right? For you, that is definitely not normal.”
“But, but, oh God,” I cried as I tried to protest but then ultimately realized they were right. They were both right. Nothing was normal right now. I was definitely not okay. I sobbed into Matt’s chest and held tight to Carlos’ hand as they led me down the hall toward the waiting car. I switched and sobbed into Carlos’ chest and held tight to Matt’s hand after we climbed into the back of the limo.
I finally stopped crying and fell into a fitful sleep on Stefan’s plane on the way to Miami. I was tense and silent, staring out the window at the ocean below, during the small plane ride to the island. I used to feel joy when we got to the island, I thought, as I stepped onto the dock. I felt no joy this time. This time I was terrified. I wanted to turn and jump back onto the plane as it took off. I probably would have tried to do that, if Matt and Carlos didn’t have a firm grip on both of my hands. They must have known. Of course they knew. I took a deep breath and marched up the stairs through the front door, and immediately began busying myself with tidying the place up. “Look at this, there’s sand and dust everywhere. I’m going to have to vacuum and clean and–” I stopped.
Carlos had placed his hand on my forearm. “The place is fine, Sarah,” he whispered. No it’s not, I wanted to scream. But I knew he was right. He was right, but I wasn’t ready. I turned and bolted out the front door, leaving them standing sadly in the living room. They both knew there was no reason to chase after me. I couldn’t go very far. I ran down the dock and jumped onto the boat, expecting to take off into the open water and not look back. I couldn’t look back. It hurt too much.
“Ahhhhhhh,” I cried as I reached for the key, and saw that the ignition was empty. Of course it was empty, they would have thought of that too. I ran back onto the dock, jumped into the sand and started running down the beach. I ran past the ghost of Jonas – the evil vampire who had tried to kill us but who I had managed to help and he had become my good friend until he was tragically killed while saving my life – He was standing there looking like a stern father with his hands on his hips. I ran past him again when he showed up about a mile down the beach. “Leave me alone,” I screamed. My plan, when I saw him again directly in front of me, was to run right through him. But he had other ideas this time.