“Not all of them,” I said before the memory of the púca and her child raced through my mind. I flinched as I tried to push it away and replace it with the knowledge that púca where related to fae—who were truly malicious. Surely that meant that the creature I’d killed had the capacity for malevolence.
“There are some creatures out there that are pure evil. Trust me, I know. Lou . . .” Just saying her name brought back all the vivid memories of her screams and nightmares, of how much she’d endured and the fact that I’d left all of my family without saying goodbye. It hit me in that moment exactly what I’d done—I’d broken my promises to them when I’d abandoned my family for the last time.
“What?” Evie prompted.
Can I tell Evie their secrets? Should I? Is that even more of a betrayal than I’ve already done?
I met her gaze, and the love, warmth, and compassion I saw there made Lou’s history tumble from me in a babble of words.
“Lou . . . she was replaced by a changeling when we were little. Dad was already in the Rain so he recognized the switch almost immediately, but we didn’t get her back until we were almost five. We lost Mom during the search, and Lou’s life was irrevocably shaped by the years she spent away from us. The things she endured . . . well, no child should have to suffer those things.”
“Who would do such a thing?” She seemed disgusted as offered me the comfort of her touch.
“It was the fucking fairies,” I said, certain my voice reverberated the hatred I felt toward the bastards.
She wrapped her smooth palm around the stubble on my cheek and looked at me with what could only be described as empathy. My heart ached at the sight of it; Lou was the one who deserved the pity, and I was the one who’d let her down.
“It was a fifty-fifty chance,” I told her, confiding a truth that I’d never really shared with anyone outside my family before. “They could have taken me instead. It was only pure luck that they didn’t.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” Evie said with a voice steady and sure and completely without doubt.
“I was just a baby.” I’d heard the words before, and understood them on some level, but deep inside I still felt guilty that Lou’d had to suffer so much. I hated that I hadn’t been able to protect her from the agony she’d experienced.
“It wasn’t your fault,” Evie said again, and as I looked into her eyes, I could see how badly she wanted me to believe it, so I smiled at her.
I wanted to tell her everything that I felt, everything I’d learned in the time that we’d been apart, and everything about my family. I was going to, but as I met her gaze, I didn’t want to ruin what could potentially be our perfect night—and the start of the rest of our lives.
“You never even had a chance to show off in your impressive dress tonight,” I said instead to distract us both from the melancholy that was threatening to sink in. Holding her hand in mine, I spun her slowly before guiding her into my arms.
We danced in a small circle, our conversation moving swiftly from light and airy to heavy and weighted with the pain of the past. Eventually, I couldn’t resist the call of her lips any longer. Only a few moments after I claimed them though, she pulled away.
“You said you were hoping to make good on a promise tonight?” she asked with definite curiosity.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
I WONDERED IF I was imagining the desire that twinkled in Evie’s eyes and fell from her parted lips as she asked the question.
You bet your sweet ass I was wanting to make good on a promise.
“Maybe it was a little rash on my part, but yeah,” I said when the words in my head sounded far too crass. “I believe I promised that I’d make sure our first time was special.”
Evie’s face fell, and all of the need I’d thought I’d seen, or maybe imagined, was gone. In its place was shock and disgust.
Doesn’t she want me? Then horror struck me as another thought appeared. Does she think I think she’s easy?
I was horror-struck and started to backtrack and then tried desperately to explain myself. “I don’t mean. God, I’m not saying that we have to . . .”
Unfortunately, in my desire to explain myself so that she wasn’t disgusted by me, my words stumbled over themselves and fell from my tongue long before I could complete any full thoughts. “I don’t want to do anything you don’t want to do. I just . . . Please tell me I haven’t screwed this up before it’s even started.”
To my surprise, she laughed. The sound was melodic and perfect; I could listen to it for the rest of my life. Then her mouth formed words I could barely believe. “Relax. I want it. I want you. You would not believe how often I’ve dreamed of this. Us.”
“Yeah?” I asked, unwilling to believe my own ears.
She pushed lightly against my chest, and I could tell that she wanted to take control. I followed her lead, allowing her to push me backward until my knees struck the bed. I fell onto the mattress. A moment later, she’d climbed onto my lap and was attacking my mouth with warm, wet kisses. My cock stood on end almost instantly, straining desperately against my jeans and longing to be released.
I held her against me and relished in the heat that radiated from her. It was what had been missing for years. I would never tire of the way her skin burned and soothed all at the same time. She pushed her hips forward against mine, and I wanted nothing more than for all of our clothes to magically disappear.
“God, I’ve wanted this for so long too,” I admitted to her, desire straining in my voice. “More than I should have.”
Her arms wrapped tightly around my shoulders, and her mouth pressed against mine as her tongue moved in ways that I was certain it hadn’t before. Despite how much we’d explored each other when we were younger in Charlotte, there was so much we hadn’t done. Our touches then were almost innocent compared to the way her hands trailed across my body now. It seemed she’d learned some new tricks in our time apart that made me wonder . . .
“Are you a . . .” I couldn’t voice the world—virgin—because I really didn’t want to hear the answer just as desperately as I wanted to know. I hadn’t been a virgin for a long time, but I wasn’t sure whether it was the same for her.
Without breaking the contact of her body against mine, she shook her head.
“Not anymore,” she murmured with a heartbroken sigh.
For a moment, guilt ate at me. What was that sigh about? Did she have a bad experience? Did she have a great one and was sad she wasn’t still with him? Was I her second choice?
Not since my first time had I been struck with performance anxiety so severe. She was everything I wanted, exceeding all of my other experiences beyond measure.
What if I wasn’t that to her?
What if I was a disappointment?
As if to quell my doubts, she ran her hands down my spine, her fingers warming the fabric of my shirt before meeting my lips again. Her tongue explored my mouth, and all of my concerns were washed away. I tilted my hips to better connect with her, and she tipped her head back with the softest moan of pleasure that rushed straight through my body and sent even more blood rushing to my dick.
With her head tilted at that perfect angle, her throat and collarbone were exposed and her breasts jutted forward exquisitely. Through the soft silk of her gown, I could see the tips of her nipples, and I wanted to take the tiny buds between my lips and suck them both in turn.
My mouth explored her throat, my lips and tongue relearning all of the curves and tastes of her unique skin. Clutching at her hips, I moved her on my lap to get the perfect friction. If I kept the rhythm going, I would probably only last a few more minutes, but they’d be the best minutes of my life to date.
Even as I held her, Evie’s temperature rose in time with the frequency of her tiny moans of pleasure. Despite the memory of her touch I still carried from years earlier, the whole experience was better than I’d ever imagined it could be, and we were both still fully clothed. I had to rectify that
before another minute passed.
As I was getting ready to correct the clothing situation, she pushed me away lightly.
Thinking that I must have done something wrong, I tried to find out what it was even as I tried to bring my desperate breathing back under control. Her eyes met mine, and the swirling fire of emotions I saw in the depths of her gaze stole my breath away entirely.
“I love you,” she whispered, stroking her palm softly across my cheek. “So much.”
Her confession was too much for me to bear, my lips attacked her skin as I tried to take more of her in—all of her in. “Fuck, Evie,” I whispered against her skin. “You have to know I love you too.”
Reaching down, I grabbed the ends of the silken dress she wore and pulled it off over her head. Even though I knew she was wearing very little beneath the gown—my fingers had confirmed that as I’d explored her back and shoulders, as had the wondrous sight of the satin clinging to her breasts and hanging from her perfectly erect nipples—I wasn’t really prepared for the long stretches of tanned skin that my action exposed.
Once more, I noted that she was thinner than she’d been the last time we’d met. Her ribs pressed harshly against her skin in a way that saddened me for what she’d had to endure until then. Despite her undernourished physique, I could still see the beauty in her gorgeously feminine body.
The curve of her shoulders flowed down to meet with the swell of her breasts, her sides rushed inward to shape her petite waist before tilting out again to hug her slender hips. Without any clothes to cover her figure, her curves were accentuated. Heat radiated from her skin almost visibly, and the whole picture had me so mesmerized I’d even forgotten to move. I wasn’t entirely sure that I was breathing any longer.
“Goddamn it, Evie, you are so beautiful,” I murmured, the truth falling easily from me.
Lifting my gaze, I caught the effect my appraisal was having on her. She was as desperate and wanting as I was. Although I could have sworn neither of us had moved, we were both crashing into one another again in a tangle of limbs and need.
I held her as tightly as I dared, and it was like holding fire between my palms. Fire that didn’t burn in the traditional sense but instead sent my desire skyrocketing.
With a growl of need, I flipped us over so she was pressed against the mattress and I could control the pace of our union. Trailing kisses across her cheek and down onto her jaw, I supported myself with one hand and used the other to explore the silken planes of her flesh.
My fingers traced paths over her throat and chest. I cupped her breast before stroking her nipple with my thumb. My mouth found her other nipple, and I dragged my teeth lightly across the surface. Evie moaned beneath me. The sounds she made increased in tempo and pitch as I took her to new levels of bliss—being willingly dragged along right behind her.
She clutched at my arm and tugged me toward her, but I resisted. The instant that I settled myself between her warm legs, I wasn’t going to be willing to leave again for a while. Although that was what I wanted, I didn’t want it yet. I wanted to give her an experience that was better than that. Although I wasn’t proud of the time I’d spent with the other women I’d screwed, it had given me the confidence and the skill to know how to elicit pleasure in Evie the likes of which I doubted she’d ever experienced before. I doubted she’d shared the connection between us with anyone else.
Continuing a path down her body, I kissed her stomach while my fingers followed the curve of her waist. When I hit the end of the bed, I continued my downward trail, determined to see all of Evie, exposed and writhing while she waited for my touch.
I reached for her panties, languidly drawing them over her legs before tossing them away. For a moment, I stood and admired the view. It was an image I’d pieced together from what I’d seen and felt over the course of our week together, and the day her Dad had been murdered, but somehow seeing it all combined under the current circumstances was so much better than anything my imagination had ever been able to create.
Although I was barely aware I was speaking, the words flowed from me, telling her how fucking beautiful she was. Pressing one knee against the bed, I touched my mouth against her stomach before moving lower and lower.
By the time I reached my goal and had a chance to taste the pleasures I’d only experienced in my dreams, I was almost as breathless and desperate as Evie was. I placed small open-mouthed kisses against her thigh.
“Please, Clay!”
The needful cry drove me onward, and I pressed a soft kiss against the apex of her thigh. Her hands fisted in my hair, and she cried out with pleasure. I’d barely started the attention I wanted to lavish on her, when she pushed me away.
She sat up and grabbed hold of my shirt before dragging me back toward her with it before kissing me as she worked on the buttons. As she helped me to shed my garments, worry struck that my scars might disgust her. They’d terrified others in the past, and Evie knew more about why I had each and every one. Although I was certain she’d seen some of them peeking from the bottom of my shirts or sleeves, some were newer—still angry and puckered. I pulled her closer to me, trying to hide them all just in case the evidence of my hunting activities repulsed her.
When she surrendered into my hold, my worry subsided. I’d never told her the full nitty-gritty details of my past, but I’d never hidden anything either. I shed the last of the barriers between us so I could take her in my arms and worship her like she deserved. Now that I had her safe by my side, and was so close to fulfilling every fantasy, I didn’t want anything to ruin it.
Even as the thought stuck me, I realized that despite all my careful planning I’d failed to consider one important item for the night of pleasure I’d planned. I swore out loud when my failure to get a simple box of condoms threatened to ruin our whole evening.
To my surprise, Evie laughed when I admitted to my failure.
“Clay, they, umm, they don’t work for me anyway. Heat and latex?” Her nose scrunched up in the cutest way. “Not a good mix.”
The words I needed to ask how she knew that were on the tip of my tongue, but her statement was little more than a reminder that this wasn’t her first rodeo. I really didn’t need the dirty details before I claimed her for myself. I may not have been her first, but I would damned well do everything in my power to make sure I was her last.
As if to allay my concern, she asked whether there were any risks, and for me there weren’t. I’d always been safe before I’d been celibate.
“Then we’ll be fine,” she said.
Even if I’d wanted to argue, the heat in her gaze was enough to burn me, and I couldn’t resist the call of it a second more. A moment later, she was lying beneath me, and I was ready to take everything that she offered.
“So beautiful,” I said again as I settled into place, my fingers tracing her body again.
It was a perfect moment two years in the making.
I stilled at the thought.
It had been two years.
Two years of fantasies and endless thoughts of how perfect this moment might be. I couldn’t help but wonder whether she’d dreamed of the moment too.
As if to answer my concerned thoughts, Evie spoke as we broke apart for air. “Clay, please. I’ve waited long enough for you.”
I was struck by an unusual, but seemingly insurmountable, bout of performance anxiety.
What if I can’t live up to Evie’s fantasies?
There was the chance I’d built her up into something that reality could never come close to, and the opposite could be true. The idea of disappointing her was almost enough to make me not want to try.
Almost, but not quite.
The call of her body was so loud I couldn’t resist it. After a moment to temper my illusions and to try to set more realistic expectations, I would be ready.
While I was overthinking everything, Evie reached her hand down between us and took my cock in her warm hold. The sensation of her hand on my sensiti
ve skin didn’t match the fantasies I’d had.
No, it was better.
Much, much better.
Before I could comprehended that sensation, Evie guided me inside her, and I was temporarily blinded by the sensation.
“Fuck, Evie,” I muttered as my body took over from my mind after her actions had shaken the doubt from me. I was wrong to worry about our union. It was perfect—better than every fantasy I’d ever had.
Her body was fire, her lips pure passion. Every sensation between us tugged me that much closer to oblivion. Although I tried to be gentle, tried to make our first time last as long as possible and take her to places where she’d be beyond words, it was almost impossible to temper myself.
I was where I’d dreamed of being for so long—in bed with her panting and desperate as she came apart because of my touch.
FOR ALMOST two days, Evie and I stayed in our own little bubble. We ordered room service when we wanted to eat and ignored the fact that a world even existed outside of the hotel.
Even after that time, I wanted more. I didn’t want to leave or move. I was happy to stay in the room forever and never leave. I knew it wasn’t practical though. Eventually, my money would run out—it was already dangerously low after a few nights in the luxury of the suite we were in.
We had a few tense moments when we each revealed the details of our intimate pasts. I couldn’t believe it when she told me she’d been with a fairy. Her simple admission had felt like the ultimate betrayal. For Evie’s sake, I tried to look at it from her side, but I couldn’t reconcile the goodness I saw in her with the terrible things I knew were true of the fae.
Our little bubble burst the moment a newspaper arrived on our second morning. It was such a simple thing, but I knew it was trouble the instant the bell rang because I hadn’t ordered anything.
Although I didn’t want to scare Evie, the delivery told me beyond any shadow of a doubt that it was time for us to go. The headline screamed about a fire at the Hawthorne Hotel and spoke of the number of deaths.
Besieged by Rain (Son of Rain #1) Page 26