by Kit Pearson
Gavin tried the jitterbug with Norah and the foxtrot with Aunt Mary. Daphne and Lucy kept asking him to dance. He refused, but he couldn’t shake off Daphne. She followed him everywhere and never stopped talking. Finally he sat nursing a Coke while Daphne stood in front of him, describing in gloating detail how she’d almost been expelled from her school after she filled her teacher’s desk drawer with worms.
“I don’t know how Paige is going to exist without Norah,” Mrs. Worsley was telling Aunt Mary behind them. “She’s wept buckets of tears all week.”
“We’re hoping Norah can visit Toronto in two years,” said Aunt Mary. “We’ll go over there first next year, and then she can come here. If we carry on taking turns, at least we’ll see her once a year. And that will keep her in touch with Gavin.” She lowered her voice. “Sometimes I feel it’s wrong, separating them. I know it’s what Gavin wants, but I still wonder … I don’t know how he’s going to bear saying goodbye to his sister.”
Gavin ducked his head as the women looked at him. He watched Norah teach Grandad how to jitterbug. The two of them were laughing so hard they could hardly stand up.
How could they laugh?
Gavin glanced back at Daphne; now she was talking to her mother. Very carefully he slipped out of the living room. He tiptoed across the hall, then ran up the carpeted stairs to his bedroom.
Bosley stuck his head out from under the bed. “Poor Boz,” said Gavin. “You don’t like the party either, do you? I don’t blame you. It’s a stupid, boring party …” He sat on the floor in the dark, leaning against the bed. Bosley emerged all the way and rested his heavy head on Gavin’s leg. The party noises floated up from below: talking and laughter and the jaunty melody of “Mairzy Doats.”
Tears slipped down Gavin’s cheeks. Bosley struggled to his feet and licked them away.
Gavin clutched him. He was all alone … except for Bosley. Norah and Grandad were leaving him. But that was his fault. He had chosen to stay in Canada to be safe.
But he didn’t feel safe any more. The big old house, which had always been such a secure fortress, seemed empty and cold, as if Norah had already left. And Aunt Florence, who had been an even safer haven, had changed. That was his fault, too. He had driven her away with his anger.
Now he heard “Three cheers for Norah, Dulcie and Lucy!” Then the voices began singing “We’ll Meet Again.”
“Oh, Boz …” Gavin squeezed the dog again, but so tightly that Bosley whined in protest and went back under the bed. Gavin crawled in after him. Maybe he’d feel better where it was dark and confined.
He hadn’t been under his bed for years. It reminded him of hiding under Eleanor’s parents’ bed. That time he’d been happy, squashed in with his friends.
Now he just felt silly. His bed wasn’t as high as Mr. and Mrs. Austen’s; he could barely raise his head. Bosley watched curiously while Gavin slithered around on the bare floor, trying to get comfortable. Finally he managed to turn over on his back. He stared at the mattress bulging between the springs. His tears dribbled into his ears.
Then he stopped crying. On the far side of the bed, against the wall, a lumpy shape was squished between the spring and the mattress. Gavin slid himself over, reached out his arm, and forced his hand between the wires. He closed it around a small wool form, something he knew very well. As gently as he could he tugged it out—Creature!
He scraped his head in his haste to get out. Then he sat on the edge of the bed, brushing off the dustballs from his worn, stuffed toy elephant.
“Creature …” whispered Gavin. The elephant must have been stuck between the mattress and the wall, and worked itself under the mattress when the bed was changed. He stroked Creature’s grimy trunk. He looked just the same: both his ears were missing and his tail had worn to a frayed string.
Gavin curled up on the bed, rubbing Creature against his cheek the way he used to when he was little. Creature smelled the same too—a mixture of musty wool flannel and sawdust.
A sharp image came to him, like a movie in his mind. He was sitting in a little room holding his elephant up to his face and sniffing him, the way he was now. Sitting in a high, hard chair, swinging legs that didn’t reach the ground, while two grown-ups told him solemnly that he was going with Norah on a ship to Canada.
Mum and Dad. He could see them. Mum’s tired face struggling with tears and Dad’s trying to be cheerful.
“… and remember old man,” Dad’s voice was saying, “whatever happens, I want you and Norah to stick together like glue! Promise?”
“I promise,” whispered five-year-old Gavin.
Gavin bounced into a sitting position and tried to remember more. But that was all. The rest was a confused blur of going on a train and a ship and another train, the way it had always been.
But he remembered them! He focused on the scene again—his parents breaking the news to him as they all sat in the front room. There was a faint odour of ammonia in the air, mixing with Creature’s smell. Mum wore a faded blue blouse. Muv … that’s what he called her then. Her hands were red and chapped from always washing dishes. Her hair fell into her eyes. Dad had a long nose like Norah’s and a warm, reassuring voice. He called him “old man” like Grandad did. Muv called him “pet” like Aunt Florence.
Gavin pressed Creature to his cheek as he held on to the memory-picture. Then his parents’ images dissolved. He remembered them—but they were gone. They were dead. He would never see them again.
“Muv …” Gavin turned over and sobbed into his pillow, still clutching Creature. “Dad …”
He cried for a long time, until his insides were light and empty. Then he dried his face on his pillowcase and stumbled to the window. Some of the guests were leaving.
“Goodbye, Norah! Have a safe journey!”
Gavin leaned out the window and the night air cooled his hot cheeks.
“I want you and Norah to stick together …”
Finally he knew what to do.
18
We’ll Meet Again
Gavin had stumbled out of his clothes and fallen into bed and a deep, thick sleep. He woke up all at once, full of energy. It was only six o’clock.
He stuck his head into the hall. Everyone’s door was closed and the usual snoring came from Grandad’s room. They went to bed last night and forgot about me! he thought indignantly. But maybe he’d already been asleep when they’d come upstairs.
Gavin put on his dressing-gown, put Creature in his pocket, told Bosley to stay, and padded up to Norah’s tower. Her new dress was flung over a chair and she was buried under her blankets. It was a shame to wake her, but he couldn’t wait.
“Norah!” He touched her shoulder.
She groaned and shook his hand away, burrowing farther in.
“Norah, wake up!”
Norah opened her eyes halfway and gazed blearily at him. “What do you want? What time is it?”
“Six o’clock.”
“Six! Go away …”
“Norah …” Gavin giggled as she put her hands over her ears. “Listen, I have to tell you something! It’s really important!”
Finally she struggled awake, leaning against the headboard and yawning. “What could be so important at six in the morning?”
Gavin grinned and climbed onto her bed. “Oh, nothing. Just that I’m coming back to England with you …”
“What?” She leaned forward and clutched his arm. “Really?”
“Really and truly,” he laughed. “I’ve decided to go back with you and Grandad.”
Norah looked stunned. “But you were so sure you wanted to stay here! What made you change your mind?”
Gavin shrugged. “I just did. I can’t—I just can’t let you go without me. We have to stick together! Like glue! Dad told me that before we left. I promised I would, but I forgot for a while.”
“But are you sure you can give up Aunt Florence and Aunt Mary? And your friends, and this house …” Norah looked afraid to believe him.
“I’m sure,” he said. “I’m very, very sure. I want to stay with you. It’s where I belong. And we have to take care of each other, like Muv and Dad asked us to.”
“Muv … that’s what you used to call her,” said Norah softly. “Oh, Gavin …” She hugged him. “Look at me, I’m crying! I was wishing so much you’d change your mind but I’d given up hope! I’m so happy!” she said in wonder. “I never thought I’d feel really happy again.” She wiped her eyes. “Wait until Grandad hears!”
“Let’s tell him!”
The two of them crept hand in hand down the stairs to Grandad’s room. “Listen to him snore!” chuckled Gavin.
Grandad woke up quickly. He leaned against his pillows while Gavin told him. Then his old face broke into a wide grin.
“You’re coming with us?” he cried. “My dear boy … what wonderful news!” There were tears in his eyes. “You’ve made a very brave decision, old man.”
Old man … Gavin heard Dad’s voice again and smiled at his grandfather.
“I think it’s the right decision,” said Grandad slowly. His face became serious. “But since I’ve been here I’ve seen how much you love the Ogilvies—especially Mrs. Ogilvie. It’s going to be hard for you to leave them.”
Not as hard as leaving you, thought Gavin, looking at Grandad and then at Norah.
“England’s in a sorry state right now,” continued Grandad. “The food is scarce and terrible. You can’t buy new clothes or toys. We’ll be squashed at Muriel’s, then we’ll be living in a half-finished house that would fit into the living room of this house. And we don’t have much money. You’ll have to try for a scholarship to grammar school.”
“I don’t care!” said Gavin.
“Can you give up all this?” Grandad waved his hand around the room—at the spool bed, ornate wallpaper and mahogany wardrobe. “This fancy house? And the summer one?”
“And you’ll have to leave Bosley behind,” said Norah gently. “Did you remember that?”
Gavin gulped. Why were they trying to discourage him?
“I know that! Bosley will have to go back and live with Uncle Reg. But he likes Uncle Reg. I know it will be hard—but it won’t matter as long as I’m with you. Don’t you want me to come?” he added tearfully.
“Of course we do!” they cried.
“We just wanted to make sure you’d thought about it carefully,” said Grandad. “But I can see that you have. Thank you,” he said gruffly. “Thank you for choosing us.”
Gavin and Norah climbed onto the bed and sat cross-legged on the foot of it. The three of them beamed at each other.
“Will Gavin be able to get on the same ship?” asked Norah.
“We’ll enquire about that first thing on Monday morning,” said Grandad. “If he can’t we’ll cancel our ship and all go together on a later one.”
“How am I going to tell Aunt Florence?” shuddered Gavin. “I think she’s already mad at me.”
“It won’t be easy,” said Grandad. “But we’ll be with you all the way.”
Gavin pulled out his elephant.
“Creature!” cried Norah. “Where did you find him?”
“Trapped under the mattress,” grinned Gavin.
“I’d forgotten all about your elephant,” murmured Grandad. “Your Grannie made him for you when you were born, just before she died. She would be glad you still have him. He’s as old as you are! He certainly looks the worst for wear. What happened to his ears?”
“He looks fine!” said Gavin indignantly. Then he laughed with them. “I’m going to keep him forever and ever and give him to my children!”
GAVIN KNEW he had to tell Aunt Florence as soon as possible. He decided to wait until after church. All through the service he daydreamed, trying to find the best words. He only paid attention when Reverend Milne asked the congregation to say a prayer for Dulcie, Lucy and Norah. “We have been privileged to have the care of these fine children for the past five years,” he said, gazing sadly at Dulcie and Lucy in the front pew. “We wish them a happy future and a safe crossing to England.”
“Yeck! How embarrassing!” muttered Norah.
“That prayer is for you as well, Gavin,” whispered Grandad.
Then Gavin’s favourite hymn was announced: “To Be a Pilgrim.” “He who would valiant be / ‘Gainst all disaster,” he sang out. A pilgrim was sort of like a knight or a musketeer, he decided.
Gavin couldn’t eat his lunch. “Are you sick?” asked Aunt Mary.
“I’m not sick.” He looked at Aunt Florence. She had touched hardly any of her meal either. “Aunt Florence … I need to talk to you in private.”
“Very well.” Aunt Florence’s voice was icy as she and Gavin went into the den and shut the door.
Gavin looked around at the comfortable, cluttered space. So many important things had happened in this room. Their arrival, the news of their parents’ death, his decision to stay … He thought of all the evenings he’d spent in here listening to the radio or to Aunt Florence read. Then he remembered the valiant pilgrim and took a deep, steadying breath.
“Well?” Aunt Florence sat down heavily in her favourite deep armchair. Her voice was shaking. Then she looked at Gavin and he realized that she knew what he was going to tell her.
“Aunt Florence … I’m so sorry … but—”
“It’s all right, Gavin.” He’d never heard her sound so defeated. “You want to go with them, don’t you?”
Gavin nodded. How could he hurt someone so much? “How did you know?” he whispered.
“I’ve seen how you’ve been clinging to Norah and your grandfather in the past few weeks. I’ve seen how you’ve changed. I think I’ve known ever since the day you got into trouble at school. You’ve been growing apart from me. I should have encouraged you to talk about it but I just—I just couldn’t! Come over here …”
Gavin came closer and she took his hand. “I love you dearly, Gavin. I hope you know that. You’ve been like a son to me. But you aren’t my son. Perhaps I’ve tried to hold on to you too much.”
“You haven’t,” sniffed Gavin. “You’ve made me happy.”
“I’m glad of that. But you don’t need me any more. The war is over. And even though you’ve lost your parents, it’s still right that you go back. It was selfish of me to try to keep you here.”
She looked like a tired old woman. “Aunt Florence,” whispered Gavin. He pushed into the chair beside her and the two of them sat together in silence.
THE NEXT DAY, after a morning of frantic telephone calls, a space was found for Gavin on Norah and Grandad’s ship. Now there were only three days left. Aunt Florence seemed relieved to spend all that time doing Gavin’s packing.
Gavin told Bosley he was leaving him. He wasn’t sure if Bosley understood his words, but he certainly understood the open suitcases and piles of clothes in Gavin’s room. He followed Gavin everywhere, gazing accusingly at him.
“You’ll be all right, Boz,” Gavin told him. “Uncle Reg loves you just as much as I do.” He had read once that dogs didn’t have long memories. Bosley would probably forget all about him.
But he’d never forget Bosley.
There was so little time for goodbyes. Some of the family friends who had been at the party dropped by with small gifts for Gavin when they heard. But others didn’t even know he was going—Mrs. Moss, all the people in his class, and Roger. Gavin thought sadly of how casually he’d said goodbye to Roger when he thought he’d see him again in September. At least there were two people he could say goodbye to in person—Tim and Eleanor.
Tim’s face turned red without him willing it to as he stared furiously at Gavin. “But you said you were staying!”
“I changed my mind.”
“But why? You’re Canadian, not English! You don’t even talk like someone who’s English! You said you didn’t even remember England!” They were lying on the floor in Tim’s room; Tim kicked one of his bedposts.
Gavin sighe
d. “I know I don’t remember it. I don’t want to leave you and Roger. I don’t want to go back, but I have to stay with my family—my real family. Don’t you see?”
“I thought the Ogilvies were going to be your real family now!”
“I thought so too, but I was wrong.”
They lay in silence, Tim’s face buried in the rug. Gavin knew he was hiding his tears. “I’ll write to you, Tim,” he said desperately. “And the summer after next, Norah and I will probably come back for a visit.”
“You’ll spend it in Muskoka like you always do,” Tim muttered into the rug.
“Well, you can come! You and Roger! You can both come up north for the whole summer, okay?”
“I guess so … I like Gairloch.” Tim had come for a week last year. “But that’s two years away—that’s forever!” He looked up at Gavin, tears gleaming on his round face. “All for one and one for all, eh?”
“All for one and one for all forever,” said Gavin.
ELEANOR WAS MORE DIFFICULT; he had to lose her just as she was becoming a friend. It would be easier to just leave without telling her. Gavin kept putting off phoning her but he finally made himself do it the day before they left.
“May I please speak to Eleanor?”
“Just a minute—Eleanor!” a voice shouted in his ear. Her older sister.
Then Eleanor answered. “Hello?”
“Uh? this is Gavin.”
“Hi, Gavin! Are you having a good summer?”
He had meant to tell her on the phone but as soon as he heard her voice he wanted to see her one more time. “Can I come over? Right now?”
“Sure. Why does your voice sound so funny?”
“I’ll tell you later.”
Gavin ran all the way to her house. His shirt was sticking to his heaving chest by the time he got there.
“Let’s go into the back yard,” said Eleanor after she answered the door. “Mum made some lemonade.”
Gavin drained two glasses of lemonade while Eleanor sat quietly in a chair and watched him.