My stomach flip-flops.
I'm madly in love with him, and the best he'll ever be able to muster is I care about you.
"Save it for my mother." She heads for the door. "I don't want her dying wondering why my brother is bullshitting her."
A tear rolls down my eye. "It's not about her. I love Blake. I'm in love with Blake."
My knees buckle.
Oh, God.
Talk about fucking things up.
I grab onto the counter to stay upright.
The bathroom door opens. Lizzy. Her face is the picture of concern. "Blake's mom collapsed."
Fiona goes white. "Is she okay?"
"They're calling an ambulance." Lizzy shakes. "We should. Kat? What do we do?"
Fiona rushes out of the bathroom.
I take a deep breath. "We follow the ambulance."
Chapter Twenty
Meryl is already on her way to the ambulance. Blake is with her. Fiona rushes after them, muttering something about taking Blake's car to the nearest hospital.
I take control of the situation. I know how to stay calm under pressure. I can handle this. I pay with Blake's credit card. Now, we need to get to the hospital. I grab Lizzy and make my way out front.
Jordan is already here. He helps us into the limo and shuts the door behind us.
Lizzy squeezes my hand. I squeeze back, trying to will my thoughts to stay in straight lines.
"I'm sorry about Stanford. I should have told you."
"It's okay. That doesn't matter." I play with my purse. Stare at my phone for a possible update from Blake. God, what if she dies in the ambulance? What a sorry way to go. "None of this matters anymore."
"She's dying, isn't she?" Lizzy asks. "Even if she survives today... Isn't that what you said, Kat?"
"Last I heard it was three months."
At best. And that was a month ago.
Two months. Usually, that's nothing. It's a blip. But, God, I want those two more months for her. She deserves more time.
And she deserves the truth.
***
The E.R. is an awful, stale room. Fiona paces in circles, her heels clicking hard against the tile. Blake stands in front of a chair. He has that same stoic look on his face.
He wraps his arms around me. "She should be okay."
A sob rises in my throat. No holding back now. I wrap my arms around him and I cry. I cry until there's nothing left inside me.
I can barely feel my fingers or toes. This can't happen. Not yet. Meryl can't die yet.
Lizzy takes me to get a soda. "You okay?"
I shake my head. "It feels like last time. Not as bad, but the same kinda thing." The ER is around the corner and no sound bleeds into the hallway. It's dead silent in there. "I lost almost everything that day."
My sister hugs me. "I don't want to fight. You're my best friend. Always. And whatever happens with Blake, I support you. Okay?"
"Okay."
"I love you."
"Love you, too." I hug her more tightly. "I'm going to miss you so much."
"You can visit anytime."
"I will." I release Lizzy and turn my attention to the vending machine. I'm not big on soda. Too sweet. And I don't need the caffeine. I'm wide awake. Already on edge. "You should go home. You have school."
"It's Saturday."
"Still," I say. "Go home. Sleep. Study. I might be here a while."
Her brow furrows. She looks at me closely. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
"Tell you what—I'll stay another ten minutes. If you still want me to leave, I will."
I nod. It is nice having Lizzy around. She is my best friend, too. My only friend, really.
We move back to the ER. A doctor is talking to Blake and Fiona. He holds strong. She's trembling. The doctor says something and Fiona jumps for joy. Her face floods with relief.
We move closer, so we can hear their conversation.
"She's okay." Fiona sighs. "She's okay."
The doctor nods. "She's sedated. You can visit in the morning."
He leans in and whispers something. All that relief is replaced with dread. Fiona digs her heel into the floor.
"Can we see her?" she asks no one in particular.
He nods, whispers some directions, and turns back to the hallway.
Fiona moves down the hallway. I look to Blake. He nods and we follow them.
We stop outside a small hospital room. There's a window looking in on Meryl. She's hooked up to a heart rate monitor. Those same blips I saw on Lizzy's way back when.
My legs go weak. I clutch Blake's arm, but it's not enough. Shit. I fall flat on my ass. Making a fool of myself in front of him again. Hardly matters at this point.
He helps me to my feet and carries me to a bench. It's pressed against the wall of a long, depressing hallway. We're out of earshot. May as well be on another planet for all the good we can do.
He brushes the hair from my eyes. A calm fills me. He's still damn soothing. Of course he is. That's what happens when you love someone. They do this kind of thing to you.
"I'll make sure you get your money," he says. "Even if she dies before the wedding."
"I don't care about the money."
He nods. "We need to move this up again. Do it here, tomorrow, at the chapel. Your dress should be ready. Ashleigh can call the tailor. I'll offer him double to get it done overnight."
I take an easy breath. Inhale. Exhale. There's such a desperation in Blake's eyes. He needs control over this. He needs to go through with this lie.
But I can't be a part of it anymore.
"No," I say.
"Kat, please."
"I'm sorry." A tear rolls down my cheek. Meryl is going to die and there's nothing I can do to save her. There was nothing I could do with my parents. Somehow, we have to live with it, brush ourselves off, even though it hurts so fucking bad.
"Kat. Think about what you're saying."
"Your mother is a sweet woman. I can't lie to her."
"It will make her happy."
"It won't. She'll see through it." I wipe my eyes dry and hold Blake's gaze. Only one thing to do now. I press my lips into his. A quick kiss. "Goodbye." I push myself off the bench. "I'll visit her in the morning."
"Kat. You can't. It's five million dollars."
I shake my head. "I'll do what I can to pay you back for the apartment. Something. I promise."
"It's only one day. You're being illogical."
"I'm sorry." I pull the ring off my finger and press it into his palm. I take a step towards the exit. Steady now. No more falling at his feet.
"I'll change your mind."
"There's only one way you can change my mind, Blake."
And it's never going to happen.
He's never going to fall in love with me.
To Be Continued...
Episode Four
Chapter Twenty-One
Room 302. A windowless room in the middle of the hallway. Hospitals are always depressing, but this takes the cake. There's no life in this room. That's a horrible place to be dying.
Meryl lies in her hospital bed. Her face is still some strange pale yellow. She looks weak and tired, but she looks happy, too.
"Sweetheart, what are you doing up so early?" she asks.
I pull up a chair next to her bed and get comfortable. I'm going to be here a while. "Visiting hours started three minutes ago."
"I'll forgive the delay." She looks me over carefully. Her eyes fix on my unadorned left hand. "You're no longer obligated to visit me."
"I was never obligated." I squeeze my purse handle. "You've been so kind to me. You really accepted me as your daughter-in-law. I'm sorry that I can't be... that Blake and I won't..."
Her brow furrows. "What happened?"
"I can't bother you with my relationship problems."
She scoffs. "Sweetie, I'd prefer anything to thinking that I'm lying in a hospital bed with a terminal illness. Talk to me." She grabs the bed's
remote control and adjusts it so she's mostly upright. "I can help. I know my son."
"Then you know the problem."
Meryl frowns. "He said you got into a fight about the wedding. He wanted to move it up. You thought that was a transparent attempt to appease his poor dying mother."
I can't help but smile. She has a damn good sense of humor. "Did he really say all that?"
"I read between the lines." She sips her glass of orange juice. "He says it's a fight and that you'll make up soon. But from the look on your face..."
There's a look on my face? God damn Sterling ability to read people. I try to smile, but this time it's not coming naturally. "It's unlikely."
"Was anything he said true?"
Tension stirs inside me. No more lying. Meryl deserves the truth now. "It's his version of it." I stare at the white tile floor. No way, not good enough. Meryl deserves better than that. "He and I never... he never..."
"Sweetheart, I know you were pretending."
My heart is beating so fucking loud. "What?"
Meryl offers a sly smile. "I don't know the details, but I can tell. It's almost sweet. I never realized he cared so much about making me happy."
"He does." My gaze goes right back to the floor. Such a plain pattern. Scuffed with ugly white lines. "And he's stubborn."
"Very."
I make eye contact with Meryl. It's disarming, but I manage to maintain it. "How did you know?"
"The boy doesn't have an impulsive bone in his body. If he really was seeing someone, I'd have known about it months ago."
Something in me relaxes. It's not that he's incapable of love. At least, she doesn't believe he's incapable of it. Or she's sparing my feelings. I nod. "Part of it was true. We met when I was leaving an interview, and he offered me the job. Or maybe it's a role. Whatever it is." I pluck the stray threads from my purse's handle. "I feel awful about lying to you."
"Don't. You get something good in exchange for this?"
"Really good."
"Sweetie, as far as I'm concerned, we never had this conversation. Take Blake back, marry him, divorce him, and take him to the cleaners."
"We signed a prenup."
"And how much would you get?"
I hold my purse against my stomach. "A lot."
Meryl raises a brow. "He won't miss whatever he offered you." She pushes herself up so she can lean closer. "It's a hard world for women. You have to use whatever you have to get yours. You're beautiful, smart, and a damn good liar."
"You really want me to lie to your son so I can divorce him and take his money?"
"It was his idea."
"Apple sure doesn’t fall far from the tree." I laugh. God, this whole thing is absurd. My life was a lot easier two months ago, before I met Blake. But it was a hell of a lot less interesting. "I really wish I could."
She grabs my wrist. Her eyes get serious. "Honey, you can. And you should. You two would be much happier than Fiona and Trey are."
"Probably."
"Of course, she hasn't been happy since she was Homecoming Queen." Meryl shakes her head. "My kids, my problem. They don't know what it's like to grow up with nothing. We were never rich, but their father did well. He spoiled them rotten. And he was insured to the hilt." Her expression softens. "They're successful. What every mom is supposed to want. God. I'm a cliché, whining about the state of my children's marriages, or lack thereof."
My stomach is twisted and torn. This confession isn't exactly freeing us. Maybe Blake was right and it was better to lie. Better to die happy believing a lie...
I study Meryl's expression, trying my best Sterling stare. Her eyes are especially yellow but they're also alight with a certain liveliness. Her lips are turned into a smile. She is happy, especially considering the circumstances.
"You want the truth?" I ask.
"Of course, sweetheart."
"I'm an idiot not to marry Blake. That money could be my ticket. I could spent ten years in school and another ten traveling the world. But I won't be able to do any of it with my heart broken."
Her eyes open wide. She leans closer. Crap, now I'm really on the hook to deliver.
"I love Blake. I love him, and he's never going to fall in love with me. I can't live like that, constantly wanting him in a way I'll never have him. It would kill me."
"Oh sweetie." She pats my arm. "I'm sorry."
I prepare myself to blink back a tear—this whole love thing really has me in pieces—but it doesn't come. I'm too tired, too numb, too something.
"You have to take care of yourself." Meryl studies me. She pulls her arm to her side. "Do me a favor and run down to the gift shop."
"Sure."
"You have cash?"
I nod.
"Get me the trashiest romance novel you can find. And get yourself a cup of coffee. You look like hell."
A laugh escapes my lips. It's still a surprise that I can manage to laugh at a time like this. "You got it."
"Blake would take great care of you," she says.
"Yeah, but that's not enough."
***
I buy Meryl one copy of each romance in here—there are only three—and buy myself a can of iced coffee. Funny, there are four different kinds of iced coffee. Anything is fine with me. Anything but vanilla.
It's a short walk to Meryl's room. I keep my gaze on the floor. These white tiles are everywhere, reflecting the fluorescent lights with an ugly glare.
Room 302. I reach for the door.
Shit.
Blake is here.
He's in jeans and a t-shirt. Messy hair. Bags under his eyes. Hell, he looks worse than I do.
I step inside with my best I don't give a damn my ex is here swagger. Blake and Meryl stare at me, him with a tiny hint of desperation, her with pity.
I hand Meryl her books. "I should get going. I'll come back tomorrow."
Blake stares at me. "Kat."
"I have a lot of work to do. Deadlines for my applications." I press the can of coffee against the inside of my wrist. Freezing. It sends a chill straight to my spine. "I hope you feel better."
She nods. "You too."
I turn, pull the door open, and step into the hallway. No looking back. No entertaining the idea of walking to Blake. It's only a few hundred feet to the hospital entrance. I can be home in time to have brunch with Lizzy.
"Kat, wait." Blake's voice booms in the hallway.
Crap. My intentions to avoid him crumble. That voice is so intoxicating. I want it surrounding me. I want it any way I can have it. I want his laugh, scream, groan. Anything.
"Forget about moving up the wedding," he says. "Let's do it as planned, next week at the gardens. I wanted to marry you."
Oomph. This time last month, those words meant nothing to me. Now they're fucking music. They're poetry.
But they're also a lie.
"I'm sorry, Blake, but I can't do that."
His fingers brush my wrist. "There must be some way I can change your mind."
Warmth fills my body. Damn thing is against me. "There is."
"Well?"
I turn and take in his expression. It's the strangest mix of sadness and steel. The guy is going to hell over this, but he's still a God damn automatons.
"It's not a possibility," I say.
His voice is strong and deep. "Anything is a possibility."
I shake my head. "This is one thing you can't negotiate." Small step backwards. "Let Meryl know I'll see her tomorrow."
"Kat."
"Take care of yourself." I turn and march towards the door, trying not to hear him call my name again.
Chapter Twenty-Two
"Loverboy sent a gift." Lizzy points to a small package on the kitchen table.
"What are you doing up?" I ask.
"Heard you leave." She taps her fingers against the table. "So..."
I copy her annoyed tone. "So..."
She nods to the package. "I made coffee." She slurps her coffee as if to punctuate her
claim. "French roast."
I pour myself a cup and sit at the table. No sense in giving my sister what she wants. It's fun making her wait.
And I'm not exactly prepared for whatever this is.
I study the package the best I can without actually touching it. Smaller than a shoebox. It's wrapped in a plain grey paper. God, the paper suits him. A perfect slate grey. Modern and clean like his office.
There's a pink bow on it. Not like the guy wrapped the thing himself, but it's still an obvious touch. Even if pink is my favorite color. Even if it's the whole theme of our sham wedding.
Even if it was the theme of our wedding.
Lizzy sighs. "I'm opening it."
"Don't you dare."
She raises her eyebrows. "I already read the card."
"And?"
She grabs the card—a folded grey thing that blends into the paper perfectly—and holds it to her chest. "Not sure if he wrote it before you dumped his sorry ass."
My stomach flip-flops. Fine. I'll read the damn card. I grab it from Lizzy's hands.
Kat,
I hope this gets your mind off things. If it's not enough, my way is a lot more fun.
Sincerely,
Blake
Sincerely. Great, I'm a sincerely. Not a surprise, but still not very pleasant.
I unwrap the present carefully. It's a hardcover copy of Ghost World, a special print with the entire comic and the screenplay from the film. I flip it open and—
It's signed.
It's signed to me.
My heart races. No good. I close the book and push it to the center of the table. Coffee. I need to drink this coffee. I take a long sip. French roast. Black. Strong. Hint of vanilla.
Just like what was on his lips after the pool.
Fuck. It's not working.
"Hey... Kat..." Lizzy's voice is sing-song.
"Yeah?"
"Want me to get out of here so you can have a booty call?"
"No." I move the hardcover to our bookshelf. Something to look at when it doesn't immediately make me think of Blake. "I want to have brunch with my sister."
She smirks. "You want a booty call at his place."
"No, Lizzy. I broke off our engagement last night, and his mom is in the hospital. It's not the time for a damn booty call. Okay?"
She slumps in her chair. "I was just kidding."
The Billionaire's Deal: The Complete Story: An Alpha Billionaire Romance Page 20