by Faith Gibson
“That makes sense. I just wonder what will happen to me.”
Kerrigan returned to sit next to Sparrow. “Do you think if I asked him to, Gideon would allow you to remain here with us? I can’t cook for shit, and besides that, I’m rather fond of you.” Kerrigan wanted Sparrow to talk freely with her, but what she’d said was the truth. She could cook well enough, but it was nowhere near what the young girl was capable of, and she cared about Sparrow.
“You’d do that?”
“Yes. I don’t have any friends here other than you, and a lifetime spent without friends is a lonely one. I had hoped to befriend a young woman named McKenzie, but after talking with her in the gardens one day, it was like we were separated on purpose.”
“You met Mac?” Sparrow’s eyes glistened with tears.
“Yes. You know her?”
“She’s my sister. How was she? We... I’m not supposed to talk about her, but I miss her so much.”
“Why aren’t you supposed to talk about her?” Kerrigan was surprised they were sisters. The two looked nothing alike.
Sparrow wiped at her cheeks. “She’s a disgrace.”
Kerrigan gasped. “Why would you think that? Is it because of her face? Sparrow—”
Sparrow jumped up and turned, hands fisted at her sides. “I don’t think that. She fell in love, but it wasn’t a sanctioned coupling. When the elders found out, they took... They took the man away, and Mac tried to go after him. She ran away, and, well, you saw her. Saw what happened to her. They took her from our cabin after that, and then I was brought here. I haven’t seen her since. How was she?”
“I only met her one time, but she seemed... broken. Said she’d lost her baby and had been given a month to grieve. That doesn’t sound like a lot of time, if you ask me.”
“Baby? Oh no. Oh, no, no, no. That’s so much worse.”
“I have to agree losing a child is about as bad as things could be.” Kerrigan wasn’t one who thought you had to be married to have a child, but she always thought if she was going to be a mom, she’d want to at least have a loving partner. Since she’d never had a long-term relationship, she’d long given up thoughts to having a baby. Before she met Dalton, she’d been happy with her single life.
“I’ve been so caught up in my own selfishness, I didn’t even think about what Mac was going through.”
“Sparrow, why are people who are unhappy here not allowed to leave? Why would your parents make McKenzie live this kind of life?”
“Because it’s better than living on the outside.”
Kerrigan didn’t want to argue that topic again. Sparrow was young and obviously had bought into what she’d been told, so Kerrigan took a different route in getting answers.
“Agnes said that newcomers were given the worst jobs, and the longer they did as they were told, they moved into better positions. I was stuck weeding the gardens. My roommates also worked in the gardens. Are they new here, too?”
“No, the gardens aren’t where new residents usually start out. You should have been given a cleaning job or working in the kitchen. I wonder why that is?”
Kerrigan knew the answer to that. Agnes said Gideon had been playing favorites with her. “Was weeding what Mac did before she fell from grace? Or was that always her job?”
Sparrow shook her head. “She worked with the animals. She always wanted to be a veterinarian when she was little, so it was the closest thing available when she aged out.”
“Aged out? You mean when she finished her education?”
“Yes. Unlike on the outside, kids don’t need jobs here because there isn’t anything to spend money on. We don’t work until we turn eighteen. We’re given a job closely related to where our interests lie if at all possible. I worked in the library until I was brought to live with Gideon. Mac wanted to be a vet, so she was allowed to work raising the cows and chickens.”
Working with the animals they raised for food was a far cry from becoming a doctor to keep them alive, but Kerrigan wasn’t going to mention that.
“If I hadn’t been chosen to live with Gideon, where would I have ended up? Since there isn’t a bar here on the compound, would I have remained in the garden?”
“You probably would have been put to work in the kitchen or dining hall.”
Kerrigan shuddered at the thought. Slinging drinks for a small crowd was one thing, but serving the masses was something she didn’t want to contemplate. She’d rather work with the animals or toil in the sun on her knees all day in the garden where she was alone with her thoughts and not surrounded by people who probably considered her a disgrace as well. “Let’s take a walk,” she suggested, needing a bit of fresh air.
“We really shouldn’t.”
“Why not? Gideon told us to relax, and a little fresh air goes a long way in relaxing me. Besides, you’d be doing me a favor. I’ve not seen all of the property, and who better to show me around than someone who’s lived here a long time? If I go wandering off alone, I’ll just get into trouble somehow.”
Sparrow bit her lip, her eyes narrowed at Kerrigan. Slowly, she smiled then nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, okay.” After grabbing their plain cardigan sweaters and their head coverings, they walked out the back door. “Where would you like to go?”
“I’d love to see the cows.” Kerrigan looped her arm through Sparrow’s and sighed loudly. “Back in Ireland, my mom was raised on a farm, and at night, instead of reading me bedtime stories, she would regale me with memories of being a little girl and helping her da.” Kerrigan was going to Hell for lying, but she needed Sparrow’s help these next few days while Gideon was gone.
“You sound sad.”
“I am. I miss my parents fiercely, but there’s nothing I can do about that, is there?”
Sparrow didn’t answer. Instead, she pointed out things on their walk Kerrigan would never have noticed. Mainly because she was aware of the man following them. She’d caught sight of him as soon as they stepped out of the house, but he was keeping his distance. Of course, Gideon hadn’t trusted her not to wander off. Sparrow named the different types of plants that were used to make medicine in the infirmary. Kerrigan barely paid attention as her housemate rambled on about things Kerrigan wasn’t concerned with. Instead, she paid attention to the lay of the land. To the various paths they walked on and everything beyond. They walked until they came to a field. Wide open acres stretched out until they ended with another tree line.
Kerrigan approached the split-rail fence, and leaned her forearms on the top rail, taking in her surroundings. The barn was a typical wooden structure you’d expect to see on any farm. Another building, equally as big, was set farther back. A large, double door was fixed into one end. Big enough for vehicles to drive through. “What’s that other building over there?” Kerrigan pointed to the massive structure.
“That’s the garage where they keep the tractors, trucks, and other farm equipment. At least that’s what Mac told me.”
Kerrigan had no doubt that’s where the cars Gideon used were kept. If she could get her hands on the keys, she might be able to get away from the compound. She wondered why Mac hadn’t tried that since she worked so close to the building. Maybe she had, or maybe the keys weren’t kept with the vehicles. Kerrigan thought back to the younger woman’s warning about the woods. Looking into the distance, Kerrigan noticed a couple different breaks in the trees, which possibly meant trails leading away from the compound. She needed to talk to Sparrow’s sister again.
“Is it against the rules for you to talk to Mac?”
“Not if she’s back at work. But now that I’m at Gideon’s, I don’t have a chance to see her.” Sparrow’s tone was sad.
“What about Bible study? Can you not talk to her for a few minutes afterwards?” Kerrigan could only imagine what it would be like to have a sister who was hurting but she couldn’t see her. Growing up an only child, she’d only had her friends from school to hang out with, but that couldn’t compare to having a si
bling around all the time. She’d often wished for a brother or sister, but her mom had a hard time delivering Kerrigan, and her parents wouldn’t risk another pregnancy.
Before Sparrow could answer, a strong hand clamped down on Kerrigan’s shoulder. She jerked then turned to face the man who’d been following them. She recognized him as one of the guards who’d been present with Gideon the day she met Mac.
“You ladies need to return to the house. It’s going to rain, and you don’t want to get caught in it.”
Sparrow gasped, her eyes widening. She silently reached for Kerrigan’s hand, grasping it tightly. Squeezing back, Kerrigan placed herself between the girl and the guard. “He’s right. We don’t want to get drenched.” As she tugged Sparrow back toward the trail leading to the house, she wrapped her arm around Sparrow’s shoulder. After turning to see where the guard was, Kerrigan asked, “Are you okay?”
Sparrow was shivering, but Kerrigan didn’t think it was from the chill in the air. “I’m fine.” When Mac had seen the group of men, she had tensed much the same way. Something snapped behind them, and Kerrigan tightened her grip. When they reached the house, Sparrow rushed inside, not stopping until she was safely inside her bedroom. Kerrigan paused in the doorway.
“Sparrow, who is that man?”
The girl wrapped her arms around her waist, not trying to stop the tears rolling down her cheeks. “I think he’s the father of Mac’s baby.”
“I thought you said her boyfriend was taken away from here.”
Sparrow hiccupped out a breath. “I did. Elijah also worked with the animals. He and Mac spent every day together, and they fell in love. But Mac had been promised to Lewis. That’s the guard who was following us.”
“Promised? As in one of those sanctioned relationships?”
“Yes, but Mac hated Lewis. Said if it wasn’t for him, she and Eli could have been together.”
“But I thought Gideon oversaw all the couples to make sure they were compatible.”
“Compatible from the man’s perspective. You’ve heard Gideon speak about relationships during Bible study. The woman is to submit to the man.”
Kerrigan had heard him say those words, and they’d pissed her off. They weren’t living in the Stone Age, for fuck’s sake. “So, the women who live here don’t have a say in who they end up with? Sparrow, please tell me you don’t agree with that.”
“It doesn’t matter whether I do or not; it’s just the way things are.”
“I’m confused. Brother Gideon also teaches about abstinence before marriage. If Lewis was the baby’s father, why is Mac the one who is considered a disgrace? He broke the rules too.”
“Yes, but he’s a guard, and nobody goes against them any more than they go against Brother Gideon. The only time an unmarried couple can spend time together is when they’re being watched over by Brother Gideon. Eli and Mac would never have had the opportunity to have sex.”
“So, you’re saying what exactly?”
Even though they were alone, Sparrow lowered her voice. “I think Lewis had sex with Mac, and Brother Gideon okayed it.”
In other words, Gideon gave permission for the guard to rape Sparrow’s sister. “She warned me about staying out of the woods. Is that where she was attacked? When she tried to run away?”
Sparrow nodded, swiping at the tears on her cheeks.
“Will you tell me about it?”
“I only know the details because our parents thought I was asleep. When Mac went missing, I was pulled from our cabin and taken to my parents’, because they thought I might know where she was. It took half an hour to convince them I knew nothing about her disappearance. Mac had confided in me about Elijah, but after they took him away, she became sullen and refused to talk to even me. Finally, the guards stopped interrogating me, and I curled up on the sofa. When Brother Gideon came back, he told them Mac had run through the woods behind the cattle enclosure. She had received some injuries, but they were treating her in the infirmary. He refused to allow my parents to see her, saying she had disgraced the family, and as part of her punishment, Mac wasn’t allowed to speak to anyone.
“When the room was silent, I thought he’d left, so I sat up. When he noticed I was awake, Brother Gideon bade me come with him. He brought me back here, sending one of the chosen back to her cabin. I didn’t see Mac again until a couple months later on my way to Bible study. She was walking with Brother Gideon and Lewis. I called out to her, and that’s when I saw the scar. I still don’t know what happened to cause it. I... I know better than to ask. I just wish she and Elijah could have been together, then none of this would be happening.”
“I really don’t understand why you would want this life for her. How can you think she’s better off here than living out in the world where she can be with the man she loves?”
Sparrow turned her eyes up to Kerrigan. “Because if she’s not here, Gideon will give me to Lewis.”
Chapter Fifteen
War
THE closer Warryck got to Green Mountain the stronger his Gryphon urged him to hurry. It wasn’t that he never listened to his animal side. It had just been a long time since the Gryphon tried to take over, and he was surprised at the inner voice so loud in his head. The last time the voice had demanded War listen was when he and Harlow were together. His animal had fought with him to tell her no when she wanted to separate him from his family. When War wouldn’t give in, it was like his Gryphon had retreated so deep War could barely feel it.
Sure, War called on his eagle when he felt the need to shift and free his baser nature for a few moments, but it wasn’t the same as having his full Gryphon front and center. The eagle was always eager to spread its wings and soar. That was easier than letting the lion loose. Eagles didn’t draw attention when floating along the clouds. A lion, however, wasn’t something one normally saw outside a zoo or in their native habitat. Allowing the Gryphon to take over? That was the stuff fantasy novels were made of. If an unaware human caught sight of one, the Gryphon would have to use their powers to erase the memory.
Ever since hitting the road with Mav, the Gryphon had felt more alive inside. In rekindling his relationship with his twin, he was in a sense doing the same with the other part of himself. It had been so long – twenty-four years – since the Gryphon was fully formed. That long since it had spoken inside War’s head. He couldn’t remember such an urgency from the animal. He knew his family didn’t have a problem listening to their own animal, especially his parents. Since they were both over a century old, they had more experience and time acknowledging what they were and giving in to that side of themselves. As far as he knew, neither one had ever fought with their Gryphon.
Having studied psychology for so long, War understood the workings of the brain better than most, yet he still didn’t understand it enough. Over the years, he’d read hundreds of books. Thousands of studies. The more he read, the more he realized he would never fully comprehend the human brain. He wasn’t human, and even though he had some fundamental knowledge of his studies, it didn’t help him to grasp why he suddenly felt so out of control.
Maybe the Gryphon was just ready to get back to that special place where War could be alone with his thoughts. Where he usually felt most comfortable. Or maybe there was something else going on the Gryphon was aware of. If that was the case, War had no idea what it could be. He’d heard some of his family speak of such things, but he’d never encountered it for himself. Having lived over half his life without his animal front and center like the others had, he wasn’t surprised. On more than one occasion, Maveryck had talked about how without his Gryphon, he wouldn’t have been able to do his job as well as he did. The sixth sense he’d gleaned from within had been paramount in his success.
War wanted that, he realized, as he wound his Harley through the backroads leading back to Green Mountain. He wanted something more out of his life. He already figured that much out, but until his Gryphon decided to wake up and talk to him, War had forg
otten what he’d been missing – the rest of his soul. If Harlow had lived, would that have happened? He never let himself think about that. About continuing on and becoming a cop. About living with his wife and raising their daughter together. Lucy still wouldn’t have known the family, because Harlow hadn’t wanted anything to do with them, so things probably wouldn’t have been much different. Except he’d have known love. From both his girls.
Maybe.
And it was that maybe that had War refusing to consider what his past could have been like, because if he did, he would have to think about how his wife had been selfish. It was her who kept Lucy away from the Hounds. It was her who wanted War to abandon his family’s MC. How long would their marriage have lasted if Harlow continued to be selfish, and how much more of his life would she have asked him to give up? She never wanted him to go into law enforcement. She tried more than a few times to steer him away from his criminal justice classes into something more mundane and safer. In the end, she got her wish. Had that been a subconscious decision on War’s part because he knew it’s what she wanted?
He hated thinking of Harlow in such a negative light, and this was why he never allowed himself to revisit the past. So why now? Was it because he was considering doing exactly the opposite of what she wanted? Probably, but he was okay with that. She was gone. Had been for years, so it was time to start living his life for himself and not her. Lucy had broken free from the bonds her mother had set for her at birth, and she was finally living her life as she chose. Warryck wanted to get to know his daughter. Needed to make up for all the lost time spent away from her. Inhaling the fresh, cool air, War felt freer than he had since he was a teen. Being a Gryphon, he had hundreds of years ahead of him, and he intended to start living his life again. One that didn’t involve regrets.