I suddenly noticed that my pocket seemed light. My wallet was missing. Most importantly, my identification. I assumed I had left it at the store. I had time to get back to the store before it closed. My parents would be completely ticked if they found out I lost my wallet. It wouldn’t be the first time. I took the paper with the poem and folded it gently and tucked it away in the notebook. I put everything back in the satchel and handed it to Moony.
“Moony, I just realized I left my wallet back at the store when I got the snacks. Stay here and wait for Marius.”
“Can I come with you?”
“No. I’ll run and be back right away. Wait here for Marius and watch my bag, please.” I pointed to the satchel.
“Sure.”
I left the cabin and raced down the hill. Sure enough, my wallet was left on the counter of the store. I slowed my pace as I reached the park and looked up at the top of the hill. Suddenly I saw two figures on the horizon. They were recognizable even in the dim glow of the park lights in the night. It could be Drey and Robbie again. Panic swept over me. Moony was alone—or would be alone until Marius got there.
I ran as fast as I could up the hill, stumbling on the moist grass. When I reached the top, I could see the cabin door open. A slight figure emerged and quickly ran into the woods behind the cabin with two loftier figures following. I remembered my warning to Moony: “Run, Moony. Run!”
My pace quickened with each sound I heard. I could hear them yelling at him.
“What you got in that sack, you freak! Show it to us or we’ll take it.”
I could see Moony run wildly ahead of them at a pace I’d never seen before. He ran farther into the woods and closer to the river at the bottom of the hill on the other side. The river! The current this time of the year was hazardous, especially if one went out too far. “Please Moony, stay away from the river!” I yelled for them to stop, but in the haunted shadows of the woods, no one dared.
Suddenly, the night was shattered with a splash. I raced with every ounce of energy I had. Drey and Robbie stood frozen at the bottom of the hill near the edge of the river. I could see within the clutches of the water a small figure struggling to fight the current.
Drey and Robbie turned to me, startled. “He just jumped in. We just wanted to know what he had in that bag. Honest. He just jumped in. We didn’t touch him.”
I ignored them and yelled “Get help!” and in an instant, I was in the water, too.
I swam as fast and as hard as I could. I would raise my head up to see how far ahead he was. I knew there was a point of no return when the current going from east to west would be too strong for even the best swimmer. I could just barely see flailing hands in front of me. I could feel the energy drain from me. The darkness toyed with my vision. My arms were outstretched, hoping to catch him. In desperation, I lunged forward into a powerful current.
I felt a piece of fabric. For a faint second there was hope and then a wave swept across, pushing me to the side and underwater. My hand was empty. Water filled my nose and mouth. The last I could remember was a strong hand grabbing at my collar. My mind went into a wild dream of dizzying colors and spinning wheels.
***
Awakening many weeks later in a hospital bed, a young nurse with pale skin and hazy eyes stood over me with a relieved look. “I’ll tell your parents you’re awake. They’ll be overjoyed.” She gently tapped the back of my hands with her fingers almost to a beat.
My parents raced in, both with charcoal-colored circles under their eyes and smiles. They asked me if I had any memories of the accident and I said no.
The vision of the miserable smiles they exchanged burrowed itself forever behind my eyes, forming a noose around my spirit.
CHAPTER 30
Rachel’s heavy gasp broke my trance and pushed aside the image of my parents looking down over me. Her large green eyes were moist. She reached over and put her arms around me and hugged me. Feeling unworthy of her sympathy, I catapulted backward. “It was all my fault. Don’t you understand? He ran because of me. He ran trying to hide this stupid notebook I carried. All because of me and my wild fantasy.”
She looked at me sternly. “He did it because he wanted to do it. He thought you were worth it. Respect that he did it for you, his trusted friend.”
“Of course, I respect your brother. The piano I’m carrying on my back is because I let him down. A piano with an elephant on top. He ran because I was a shy little boy with a crush, filled with fear of being exposed.”
Her eyes rolled while she shook her head at me. “There’s nothing to forgive. You tried to follow your heart. It seems you were far more than a boy with visions of sugar plums.” She reached over and gestured at my chest with her index finger and brushed it with the gentlest touch. “You are the one who lost the most that night.” A determined look crossed her face. I could sense the mood changing. “Never should a teenager have to go through what you did.” She shook her head somberly at me. It was the first sign of weakness I saw in her. The color left her glowing face as disillusionment washed over her. It pained me to see her that way, so much so that I suddenly felt empowered. There truly were noble causes in my world worth the fight. From out of the darkness of the many years, I learned to find light, finally.
The resoluteness returned to her demeanor as she walked across the room to her desk with her books. She opened the drawer and pulled out a letter. I could tell it was old because it was handwritten. She walked across and handed it to me to read.
“No doubt you were wondering why I needed to find and help you. This might explain it.” She handed it to me with the slightest inkling of a smile.
My hands treated it as a sacred text. Words from a gentle soul who I missed terribly. The letter was comprised of a looseleaf sheet adorned with faded royal blue ink. The handwriting was distinctly Moony’s.
Dear Mom,
I don’t know if you’ve received the other letters I wrote. I hope one day to hear back from you. It’s been awhile since I wrote you and, well, I have to tell about my new school and friends.
The school is wonderful. They let me talk when I please, and they seem to like listening to me. I have a new name, “Moony.” I’ve made two wonderful friends. One is named Marius. He’s a bit loud and pretends to be tough. He has a good heart, a real warrior, and he is my protector. He’s a lot smarter than he acts. My other friend is Kiran. He is quite unique, although I worry about him. He’s the first person I met who accepted me. He’s like my big brother. I think he’s in love. I can tell these things.
Just the other night, when the moon was shining brightly. We danced outside in the park. It felt like we were dancing with the moon. It was funny because I think Marius drank something that made him sick.
I’ll try writing more next time. Please let me know if you get this.
Love,
Andrew (Moony)
I lifted my head up to see her face in front of me. Before I could even ask, she spoke. “Before my mom told me about Moony, I always suspected something—though was never sure. I moved here as soon as my mom told me. My aunt left behind a box of his things, including a bunch of letters.”
“The letters?”
“He used to write to our mom, although he had no idea where she was. My aunt didn’t even know where her sister was. I presume she just pretended to send them and left them in a box.”
“And you decided to stay here and go to school here?”
“Yes. After finally finding out about my aunt, I came here and found the letters he wrote and the cloak. They found the cloak but never his body.”
“I didn’t know that. I am so sorry for your loss. To have a brother and not know it and then find out that he died long ago is devastating I would imagine.”
She looked at me and smiled. “It was hard, but there’s also a positive side. Did you read the letter?” She made
a gesture with the letter she was holding before reaching over to grasp my hand.
I realized what she was talking about just as she started to explain. It was my first moment of epiphany in what seemed like ages.
“Moony considered you his brother. I can always use a big brother. Deal?”
“Anything for Moony. He taught me so much in his way. I am forever his apprentice. He would appreciate me saying that.” I hesitated to think carefully of this unfolding tale. “So, you sought me out because of this.”
“Yes. I was going to save up enough money and find you out west if you didn’t come here!”
“Why the mystery? I mean . . .” I thought about it and realized I knew the answer.
“If you knew about me, you would never have returned. Plus I was scared how you would react, especially you being so far away.”
“If you went looking for me, you must have also been looking for . . .” My eyebrows raised at the thought, but she stampeded ahead of my tongue.
“Marius. Yes, I want to find him, too.”
“I take it you haven’t.”
She got up and began pacing in front of me. She appeared nervous and uncertain of herself. “Marius, simply put, has disappeared. I mean, I thought I found him, but then he vanished.
“Around the time I found out where you lived and sent you the letter, I thought I had located him. Your friend Marius stayed in town and graduated college here. He joined the military and served all over the world. He saw combat. Upon his discharge, his mental condition deteriorated.”
“Is he alive?!” My mind was racing and pulse vibrating.
“He started showing symptoms of post-traumatic stress. He came back here for treatment in a hospital. He began drinking heavily and behaving erratically soon after.”
“Where is he?”
“He was in a rehabilitation clinic. The day I went to see him was the day he disappeared. He hasn’t been heard from since.”
“He probably ran away when he heard you were coming.”
“I didn’t tell him who I was or anything like that.”
“Marius was always sharp. How long ago was this?”
“A couple of weeks ago. The treatment center thinks he’s probably living on the streets.” She gave a sorrowful sigh. “I have walked around these streets whenever I have a chance. I have no idea what he looks like or where he might be. I even tried your old high school. No one has heard from him.”
I looked at her and feigned control and confidence. “I’ll find him, one way or another.”
“Kiran, you need my help. After everything you have gone through, there is no way you should be doing this. This is too dangerous for you. You need to focus on positive things like . . .”
I cut through her logic. “Like helping Marius. Moony would want me to do this.”
She shook her head. “No. You can’t. I can’t let you. Live your life now, please.”
“I can’t unless I help him. I know he’s the one who saved me that night. I can still feel those damn monster-large hands on my collar. It was him. I can’t move on until I help him.”
She looked at me and could see my face contort into serious thought. “I have a hunch you know where Marius might be! You’ve seen him?”
“I hope I’m right. We may not have much time.”
“The anniversary date. Might he do something?”
“Yes. I bet he came back, like I did. Probably like me, he has no idea what he seeks other than . . .” I stopped and hesitated with the words. “Looking to be free of the suffering within.”
She thought for a minute. I could see the understanding dawn on her face. “When will you go looking for him?”
“At night, if he is where I think he is, he’ll need a place to sleep, and this is the place.”
“Can I come with you?”
“No. You might totally set him off. Your brother would get under his skin pretty often. I can only imagine you would too….”
She motioned to the kitchen table. “At least, stay with me and eat something until you go looking. It’s been a long day. I would like to know more about my brother.”
I smiled at her. “Sure. I have tons of stories.” We both shared a meal while I told her what I could remember about her brother. We both distracted ourselves from what lay ahead. As I shifted my legs under the kitchen table, I could feel the paper in my pocket. The second letter that was sent to me.
I sat back and thought. Rachel had said that she only sent me the news clipping, but then who sent me the letter? There was a heavy silence between us. I pierced it with a question. “Your aunt didn’t leave behind Moony’s, um, I mean, my satchel? I mean was it ever found? Have you seen it?”
“If you’re wondering if I have it, I don’t.”
“That means that it must be Marius. He was there that night. That might explain it.”
“Kiran, why does finding this satchel mean so much to you? The notebook and stuff?”
I didn’t answer, so she got up and walked to the fridge and came back with some homemade honey cake. She continued to be silent, thinking and assessing her next words, I was sure.
“What matters is you’re here now. Do know that. There are maybe some things that you can never find again.” She paused. “There are also things that were always there and never went away.”
I heard her but pretended that her words didn’t break the surface of my thought. I saw the moon slowly appearing as the bright haze of the sun dissipated. “I need to go. I have to find Marius.”
“Do you have a phone to call me? I need to know you are okay.” She was genuinely worried.
It seemed like ancient times when I walked away and set fire to my career. For almost two decades I had been able to play a part that not even the finest thespians could pull off. I managed to forget everything about myself and thrive in a foreign world. It was about my life. I was finally playing myself. “No. I’ll be fine.” I could see her worry. “Look, I promise to come back here by midnight. If I’m not back, this is where I’ll be.” I grabbed a notepad on her desk and scribbled “Old cabin at park” with directions on how to get there from her house.
“Does this place still exist?”
“I saw it on the bus ride over here.”
I walked into her hallway. She moved in front of me. “Since you’re my only link to my brother, do take care of yourself.”
“I will.”
She reached for my arm as I walked toward the door. When I turned back, she looked at me worriedly.
“I need you to come back. I haven’t told you everything.”
“I sort of guessed that. One way or another, I will be back.”
CHAPTER 31
Moony’s Wish
When I walked down the street toward the park, I turned back and saw her in the doorway. She waved at me like a nervous mom on her child’s first day at school. I put my head down as I walked. Moony’s sister…! The Marius I once knew would get quite a kick out of that.
Through the park and up the hill, my senses were overcome with the aroma and colors of nature in full bloom. It appeared recently landscaped and well maintained since the old days. The grass crunched beneath my feet. The trees planted in the days of yore were now fully grown. Some pear trees and some apple. The birds chirped, signaling the appearance of this familiar stranger in their midst. I squinted to see my old high school in the distance. The muffled noise of the kids in the school was audible in the distance. It must be grad night for I could almost hear the beat of the music. After midnight, this park would be swarming with partying teens. If Marius was here, I needed to find him fast. I hoped I was terribly wrong. Not finding him terrorized me much more.
I reached the top of the hill and could see the cabin as it always stood nestled within the woods, barely visible now as the surrounding trees had grown over
taking it. The fading light of the sun shone on the windows making them tinted in appearance. I couldn’t tell if there were any signs of life within. I walked gingerly toward the cabin, ever mindful that whatever I found was likely to be different than expectations.
Approaching the door, I could hear Rachel’s words of wanting to tell me more and how I needed to return. I discounted it to some game of hers to ensure I would be careful.
The forest surrounding the cabin was bright green and the ripples of the leaves spread sweet sounds into my ears. The insects and birds darted from branch to branch creating a natural symphony. I took in the surroundings. How time has stood still on this hill…! Such was nature’s way, immutable, unchangeable, and self-sustaining. Moony, Marius, nor I could lay no claim to immortality here. We were very much the pawns of board games we played as children. We were moved around by the unseen hand of fate and, when it was all done, placed into a box for the next game whenever that time would come.
I heard a ruffle of a nearby bush against the hard, aged bark of a tree. There was no animal near, so the cunning hand of the wind had jostled it to attract my attention. My eyes fixed on the bush. It was a beautiful rose bush with a single solitary flower in full bloom. I walked over and humbly surveyed it, remembering the last time I had encountered the same rose bush.
I turned to the cabin. I could hear a faint breathing sound inside as well as the shuffle of heavy feet. Marius and his construction boots! It was a fidgeting sound, a pacing sound. I chose not to open the door suddenly, not knowing what form the confrontation might take. Marius had always been physically bigger and stronger and took great glory in reminding me of that in our youth.
I wasn’t sure what fate had in store on the other side. I thought about what Rachel had said. Marius had seen and lived in so many shadows over the years while I roamed sunny beaches and corporate halls of tall skyscrapers. He lived amongst those whose life was a fragile existence. He devoted his life to service and risked it daily. Here he was alone and trapped like a wounded bear. What could I ever do or say? He had saved me. His reward was my betrayal.
The Boys Who Danced With the Moon Page 19