by Annie Jocoby
Of course, Luke had no way of knowing the devious plan that I had in my head. And there was no way that I would ever tell him about it. He would think that I was crazy.
“Well, Luke, let’s just say that I know that you’re going to be discovered. There’s no way that you won’t be. In the meantime, just know that I want to be with you. I would be with you right now, bars on your windows and all. I can’t convince you of this, of course, but I want to put that out there all the same. I just want you. But, since you apparently feel that you have to be successful before we can be together, then the only thing that I can do is bide my time until that happens. And I will, Luke. You have opened up my eyes and made me feel things that I didn’t think that I was capable of feeling. So, there is no way that I am going to let that go.”
Luke took a deep breath, and held my hands. “I wish that I really believed that, Dalilah.” He paused, and then looked at me. “Because I think that I’m already in love with you.”
I smiled, and felt my entire body flushing all over as he said that. I felt like jumping up and down with joy, just knowing that Luke felt that way about me.
“I’m in love with you, too, Luke. And we will be together. You can be sure of that.”
He stood up and stroked my cheek. “I wish that I could be sure of that, Dalilah. Believe me, I wish that I could be sure of that.”
I looked at him and thought to myself you will be sure of that. When you become a world-renowned artist, thanks to Nottingham giving you major showings, you will be sure of the fact that you and I will be together.
Of course, the consequences of manipulating Nottingham like that was far, far from my mind at that time. I only knew what was right in front of me. Looking back, I wish that I would have thought everything through just a little bit more.
Chapter Eighteen
I left Luke’s studio, reluctantly, after my session. He apparently had to pull a double-shift at the bar, so he had to leave, and I had to admit that, as I sat on the bus bound for home, I really was missing him. I was starting to feel that I wanted to be with him all the time. I almost hated that feeling, though. I certainly didn’t want to be clingy and needy.
But Luke had also made me realize how desperately lonely I was. The loneliness was palpable suddenly. I never really had thought about it in quite that way. I always thought that I wasn’t lonely, I was just bored. After all, I was independent and always had been. I never really thought that I needed close connections in my life. Now, for the first time, I was realizing how wrong that was. I was lonely, desperately lonely.
I tried not to think about that when I got back to my studio. Then I started to think about using that lonely feeling as inspiration for my next work. Which I did, as I conceived of a barren landscape in a post-dystopian world. I was going to get my feet wet with my art again.
I worked for several hours, watching the clock to see when I could contact Nottingham. I knew that he was at work, and, truth be told, I really didn’t know his hours. But I figured that it might be safe to call him in the late afternoon.
After several hours, I stood back and looked at my work. I cocked my head, and tried to silence the critical voice in my head that said it’s terrible, Dalilah. You’re a hack. You’re not good and you will never be good again. I had long since lost confidence in my own ability to evaluate my work, so I really didn’t know if what I had painted was good or not. What I did know was that it was definitely a start. And it really did express how I was feeling. Lonely, alienated, disjointed, removed from the world. I was coming back from being like that, because of Luke. But, at the same time, Luke was keeping his distance, so there was still the feeling in my mind of hopelessness and despair.
Finally, I got to a stopping point and took an enormous breath and called Nottingham’s private line. He immediately picked up.
“Dalilah,” he said. “Took you long enough to respond to my entreaties.”
I groaned inwardly. Who used the word “entreaty” in regular conversation? Pompous asses who want to show off their SAT vocabulary, that’s who. Nottingham turned my stomach. I’m doing this for you, Luke. You will never know that I did this, but you will get the benefits of it.
“Yes, Blake,” I purred. “I’m so sorry. I got really busy. Anyhow, I’m calling you now. I know that you want to see me, so I thought that perhaps we could get together soon.”
“I knew that you would, Dalilah. The other night has been on my mind constantly. You were so game. I really would like to do that on a regular basis. I think that you will find that I can be a most interesting and stimulating lover.”
Oh, boy. How was I going to get around this? “Blake, let’s talk about that later. Right now, I just thought that we could meet for a drink or something.”
“Meet me at the Union Club. Tonight. 7 PM. Do not be late.”
And, just like that, he hung up.
The Union Club. I had never heard of that place. I was thinking that he and I would meet at some bar. I had no idea if this place was a restaurant or bar or whatever.
So, I Googled it. And, of course, it wasn’t a bar or a restaurant. It was an exclusive rich guy’s club, the most exclusive in the entire city. I read that this club was so exclusive that even the sons of the most prominent members were denied admission. This club was known for its opulence, five dining rooms, lounge, and humidor with 100,000 cigars. Members have included Cornelius Vanderbilt, Dwight D. Eisenhower, William Randolph Hearst and Ulysses Grant.
I groaned, wondering how I was ever going to get into this place. I would imagine that Nottingham would arrange to meet me outside the place so that he could get me in as his guest. I had visions of the movie Titanic, where the rich assholes sat around drinking brandy around a fire and discussing politics and other dry topics, while the peasants down below were having the time of their lives.
Yup. Luke was my Jack Dawson, while Nottingham was definitely Cal Hockley. I giggled as I suddenly realized this. But then again, it wasn’t really all that funny, as Cal got pretty stalky and murderous in that movie when he realized that Rose and Jack had fallen in love. Nottingham definitely had that potential as well. I could see that.
I definitely wasn’t looking forward to this meeting. I would have to put him off when he would inevitably suggest going back to his place for more fun and games. I was going to have to walk a fine line between teasing him enough to think that he still had a chance with me, and actually going to bed with him again. I had no idea how I was going to thread that needle, and I also knew that one false move would have the opposite effect of what I wanted. Nottingham had the potential to make Luke in this town. He also had the potential to break him even more.
And Luke couldn’t be broken down further. He and I were really a lot alike in one respect – we both had little confidence in our own artistic abilities. I was astounded to realize that this was still true with me – that I thought of myself as a hack as I stared at what I painted on my canvas. I never thought that before, when I was young. I guess because I had so much outside encouragement and adoration that I knew that I was good. Now, it was only me who was looking at my own art, and I just didn’t trust my inner voice and my instincts on this. I wasn’t fearless anymore.
And Luke. Well, he probably did know that he was talented. He had to. But he hadn’t exactly gotten the positive feedback that would be necessary for him to really know his own potential. And, if things didn’t go well with Nottingham, then the danger would be that Luke might have an even more difficult time getting noticed, and this would further drain his confidence. And if Luke never found his own confidence, than there really was no hope for my relationship with him.
So, the stakes of my meeting with Nottingham were uncomfortably high.
I questioned myself as I sat on my hardwood floor, my back against my hide-a-bed. The bottle of whiskey was staring at me, beckoning me, but I ignored that siren call. I started breathing heavily as I anticipated all that might go wrong. But I couldn’t think
of any other way of getting Luke a platform in this town. I was at an absolute loss. Nick was wealthy and had lived in this city for a long time, but, as far as I knew, he didn’t know any large art patrons. My father was wealthy, but he hadn’t even moved to the city, so he didn’t know any large benefactors either.
Finally, I just decided that I needed to talk to somebody with a devious and subtle mind. A mind that I definitely didn’t possess.
I went down to Alaina’s and knocked on her door.
Chapter Nineteen
Alaina answered the door. “Dalilah, what a nice surprise!” she said, as she stepped aside for me to go into her place. “Twice in one week. To what do I owe this pleasure?”
“Wow, you’re in a great mood,” I observed. She did look happier than usual. “Are you busy?”
“Later, yeah. I mean, I should be studying, but you know how that is. Oh, wait, you don’t. You never had to crack a book in your life.” She was smiling as she said this, so I assumed that she wasn’t meaning to get in her usual digs about my brilliance and how it was so unfair that I never had to study.
“I hope that I’m not keeping you,” I said tentatively.
She smiled broadly. “You’re not. But if you are wondering why I am looking so happy and fulfilled, I’ll let you in on it. I’m dating your sloppy seconds, Seth, and boy, you’re an idiot for giving him up. That boy puts me on another planet in bed.”
I shrugged, feeling no jealousy about Alaina dating Seth. I was happy for her, though. “Cool,” I said. “Well, enjoy. He’s hot and has a huge package, and he does tend to be insatiable. So you’ll no doubt enjoy the ride, no pun intended.”
“Oh, I am enjoying the ride. I am. Six times last night I enjoyed the ride.” She shook her head. “Man, Dalilah, I have no idea what you were thinking when you blew him off. But, at the same time, it really sucks, because he’s still so in love with you that you’re all he talks about. When he’s not fucking me, that is. Of course, I’m waiting for him to start calling me Dalilah in bed, and then I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
She shrugged her shoulders. “I really hope it doesn’t come down to him wanting me to put on a red wig and role play being you. But, it might. Anyhow, what’s up?”
I took a deep breath. “Well, you remember Nottingham? BDSM man?”
“Yeah,” she said. “You aren’t going to see him anymore, right? Right?”
I was silent for a few minutes, and Alaina got the drift.
“Oh, fuck, no, Dalilah. You can’t be with a weirdo like that who gets off on beating you. He really needs to be with a submissive masochist who enjoys that stuff. I would like to think that isn’t you.”
“It’s not,” I assured her. “It’s not. Well, I need to come clean with the whole sorry story about why I’m going to go out with Nottingham. I need your advice.”
So, I told her everything. About how I had fallen in love with Luke, and how Luke had no confidence and didn’t feel that he could be with me because he couldn’t provide for me. And how Luke felt that I was out of his league. How I thought that Nottingham could help Luke, and how I hoped that it would all lead to Luke and I being together.
Alaina digested it as I spoke to her. Finally, after I told her the whole story she nodded her head. “Well, let me get this out of the way. I’m shocked that you fell in love. Shocked. I didn’t think that it was possible. Good god, every hot guy in school was in love with you and you just didn’t want any of them. Now, here is this dirt-poor boy and he’s the one you want. It figures.”
“Why does it figure?”
“Well, you can’t have him. So, naturally you want him.”
“Now, come on. That’s not why I fell in love with Luke. I just, well, he brings out the best in me. My best self. Emotions that I never thought that I could feel. He makes me want to be a better person. He has opened my eyes. I can’t possibly give him up now.”
“Well, then, you shouldn’t have to. But I know what you’re saying about him not wanting to be with you because he’s poor. Men are like that, just by their very nature. It’s evolution. They’re supposed to be able to provide for us and take care of us, and, since he can’t do that, I think that you’re right that he won’t want to be with you.”
“I know that I’m right about that. So, what do you think about my Nottingham plan?”
She put her chin on her palm and stared at her coffee table. Finally she said “I don’t know, Dalilah. It’s risky. How, exactly, are you going to manipulate him without sleeping with him again? And you can’t just see him and say ‘hey, I don’t want to be with you. But I really want you to help out this Luke fella.’ That won’t go over at all.”
“I know that,” I said, feeling impatient. “That’s why I’m down here talking to you. I mean, you have a devious mind, much more than me. How am I going to work this? Nottingham is no dummy, of course.”
“Well, Dalilah, you’re going to have to start fucking him again. On a regular basis. And, when you guys have been fucking for awhile, then you can start talking to him about Luke.”
“Thanks, Alaina,” I said, rolling my eyes. “You’ve been an enormous help.”
“What, do you want me to lie to you? Nottingham isn’t stupid, and I doubt that he can be manipulated to give you what you want without you first giving him what he wants. So, don’t even think about it.”
I started to despair. If Alaina, the queen of manipulation and games, couldn’t think of a good strategy, then who could?
“Okay, then, I guess I’ll just have to try what I can, and, if it goes south, I need to just drop it with him.” As much as I didn’t want to do that. Luke needed Nottingham’s largesse. I knew that.
I could feel my relationship with Luke start to slip through my fingers.
Finally, Alaina sighed. “This Luke means this much to you, huh?”
“You have no idea.”
“Well, then, try this. You obviously don’t want to sleep with Nottingham. I don’t blame you there. The man seems dangerous, and, besides, if you’re in love with this Luke boy then, of course, you don’t want to sleep with somebody else. You can, however, date Nottingham without sleeping with him.”
“I can? How do I do that?”
“You say that you have the herp. And, if he gets angry with you because you slept with him before, just tell him that you didn’t know that you had it then. Tell him that you’re really contagious right now because you’re in the middle of an outbreak.”
I stifled a feeling of laughter that was threatening to break out. The plan seemed too simple. And, of course, there was always the threat that Nottingham might just decide to drop me altogether once I tell him that I have herpes. Which would probably mean that he wouldn’t exactly want to help Luke on my behalf.
I shook my head. “That’s sounds good, but no. I would imagine that Nottingham would probably want nothing to do with me after that, which would mean that he wouldn’t want to help Luke if I ask him. I don’t know, he seems kind of germaphobic as it is. He probably wouldn’t want to touch me with a ten foot pole.”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Well, Plan B is that you tell him that you have turned over a new leaf and you don’t want to fuck until marriage. You’ve been revirginated.”
I looked at Alaina, pondering her words. Now, that just might work out well. I thought about Nottingham and the things that he had said to me. About me being a lady, and how I should act more proper. Nottingham was so buttoned-up himself that I was surprised that he had sex with anybody, let alone that he was a freak in bed. Telling Nottingham no sex until marriage would actually be something that would work.
I started to get excited, knowing that I might be able to date Nottingham and get him to fall in love with me. And then I could start putting the bug in his ear about Luke’s talent, and how much I would like Luke to get prominent showings. Then, once Luke was established, I could dump Nottingham and marry Luke.
Perfect! What could possibly go wrong with that
plan?
I went over to Alaina and hugged her. And she put my head in her hands, and kissed me gently on the lips. I pulled away, not wanting that to go any further.
“Oh, sorry, Dalilah. Man, sometimes you make me want to be a lipstick lesbian. What is it about you that attracts everyone you meet like bees to honey?”
“I wish I knew,” I said. “Anyhow, Alaina, I have had fun with you in that way. But you know that I’m really straight. I think you are, too, but I know that you want to experiment. And, really, go for it. Just not with me.”
She shrugged again. “Guess I’m really horny. So, you have to go so that I can call my fuck-puppet Shane. I want to climb him like a tree, just like I did last night.”
“K. Well, thanks for the fabo idea. I’ll let you know how it goes.”
“I hope you know what you’re doing. At any rate, good luck. But don’t be surprised if the manipulated becomes the manipulator, and you get in over your head with this one. If that happens, don’t say that I didn’t warn you.”
“Noted,” I said. “Well, I’ll head back to my place. See you soon.”
“Bye.”
And, at that, I left to go and get ready for my date with Nottingham.
Chapter Twenty
I made my way to the bus to go and meet Nottingham, having borrowed something else from Alaina that would be presentable for this fancy rich man’s club. I had on a pencil skirt in grey and a silk top in black, a grey cardigan that matched the skirt, with black pumps and pearls. I even wore hose, for the very first time in my life.
And…Nottingham was waiting for me on the sidewalk. He got out of a limo that was parked in front of my apartment as I approached the street. I inwardly groaned and rolled my eyes. Of course he would be here. Why did you ever think differently?
He opened the door and kissed me on the cheek. “Dalilah, you look stunning,” he said. “Absolutely a vision.”
I smiled as I stepped into his limo. The seats were cool and some soft jazz was playing on the stereo.