by Hart, Eve R.
Well, then.
That was sure a big damn tip. I wasn’t that good. I certainly hadn’t done anything to deserve it but I was thankful.
“Pizza and ice cream on me tonight,” I said to Lavinia with a shrug.
“I won’t turn it down.”
Take joy in the small things in life.
Greet each new day with a smile.
Take life head-on.
Don’t look back.
This was my own version of the quote. This was my pep talk and reminder of where I wanted to go. My mantra, if you will.
So right now, I was going to take joy in the small things. Well, this one was big, but still.
“Shouldn’t have let him go,” she whispered in my ear as she hugged me around the waist.
“I had to,” I breathed out like it was something that could have been.
Yeah, there was something there with my tall, dark stranger. But I wasn’t right yet. My life wasn’t quite where I wanted it to be. I was close and if I kept going forward then I knew I’d get there. But now… no, now I wasn’t nearly whole enough to give a part of myself away.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Cable
I shouldn’t have done it but I couldn’t seem to stop myself.
I had to see her up close.
I had to hear her voice.
I had to… know that she was really okay.
I sat outside of that diner for far too long watching her move around. Seeing what tables were hers. Taking in every little thing she did. Even I could admit it was a bit creepy but I wasn’t trying to be.
Finally, I dragged my ass off my bike and walked inside. It might have taken me a few breaths to get up the courage. I sat down in a booth that I knew was hers and waited.
I purposely left my cut at home. I didn’t want her to know who I was even though I had a pretty good feeling that she didn’t remember me. She was pretty fucked up that night. Just thinking about it broke my damn heart.
But I hadn’t been wrong.
She was mine.
I felt it, the pull between us, even before she came over to take my order.
And she damn well felt it too.
It only took touching her to solidify that feeling into my bones and I almost wish I hadn’t done it. Even as I got back to the compound and shut myself away in my room, I could still feel the smoothness of her skin on my fingertips.
Damn.
I had been a fool for letting her go again.
For walking away a second time.
But this wasn’t about me and I had to remind myself of that over and over.
While I could see that she was pushing forward in her life, I could also tell that she wasn’t ready. She’d been through enough, she didn’t need some asshole like me forcing her to give into something that she couldn’t handle yet.
I promised myself I wouldn’t go back. That I’d just been there to check up on her. But damn, seeing that tattoo on her wrist about did me in. She may not have remembered what I looked like but she clearly remembered something about me.
I wasn’t sure what to do with that. While part of me wanted to rip my shirt off and pound my damn chest, the other part of me wanted to wait for the right time. I had to believe that the universe had a plan even if I had to nudge it along a little.
“Not that I’m complaining,” Charming said later that night after I’d gone down to the clubhouse lounge, “but shit seems awfully quiet around here.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “It’s nice to have a little break but sometimes I feel a bit restless.”
“Exactly,” he replied with a nod. “Eh, guess I’m going up to the bar. Comin’?”
“Nah,” I said with a head shake. “Think I’m just going to go up to my room. Watch a movie or some shit. Be that boring guy.” I huffed out a laugh.
“More for me then,” he said with a smirk and then made his way out of the clubhouse.
I slowly drained my beer, chatting with a few of the brothers that were hanging around. I didn’t want to be antisocial but I wasn’t up for picking up chicks. Truth was, I hadn’t been.
In my mind, I’d claimed Claire as mine. Even if she didn’t know it yet. And, well, that meant I was going to be faithful to that until the end. Or until she told me that I was a crazy stalker and brushed me off. I’d like to say I wasn’t going to let that happen but I wasn’t ever going to force something on someone.
I took a look around taking it all in.
There was a calmness that had settled over the club the moment Keften took his final breath. Some knew the chaos had ended in that moment. Some figured it out in the days that came after. But everyone knew it now that was for sure.
We hadn’t found all the girls that Keften kidnapped and sold. It sucked, but I didn’t know if they would ever be found. We did what we could, finding most of them still in the States. Which surprised me but I could only guess that Keften hadn’t quite taken that step to being an overseas trafficker. When we felt we’d reached the end of what we could do, we turned everything over to Detective Mullins, who didn’t hesitate to get the FBI involved. Last I heard, they’d found three more. I had to take the good away from that.
As for Leighanna and her sister. I hated to say it, but her sister hadn’t been recovered yet. But Leighanna had been placed in a good foster home, I made sure of it. I checked up on her situation constantly because I felt like shit that I couldn’t do more.
“The fuck you doin’ just sittin’ here?” Sketch asked me as his hand fell heavy on my shoulder.
“Was about to head up to my room.” I gave a quick shrug not understanding why he was giving me such hell.
“Not what I’m talkin’ about, asshole.”
I shot him a look like he was talking crazy.
“You know, Claire came in to see me at the shop a few weeks back,” he said and suddenly he didn’t look like the young, playful Sketch we were all used to. I had wondered if it was him who gave her the reminder of that night on her wrist. “You forget I was there, man. Saw that shit. Heard that shit. Watched how you looked at her in the back of that SUV. And one of the first things she told me in the hospital was about the man that whispered something to her. Wasn’t sure I should say anything, not even when she asked for me to tattoo that shit you said to her that night on her wrist.”
“I’ve seen it,” I said because I didn’t like to hide shit.
I knew they hung out sometimes. And that didn’t bother me. I was glad she had someone in her life that cared about her. But there was a chance she might say something about the man she met today. Me. And though some people didn’t see it, Sketch was smart enough to catch onto shit. I didn’t need him thinking I was being a fucking creeper, sitting outside her bedroom at night or anything.
I didn’t have to look at him to know that he was giving me the eye and wondering how I’d seen it.
“I went to the diner today. I was hungry,” I said as a half lame excuse.
“She’s doing better.”
“Yeah, I know.” What else could I say to that? It killed me but at the same time, made me happy to see that spark of life in her eyes.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked and I could see the hard exterior fall away with each word.
My eyes moved to meet his.
I wanted him to know that I really meant what I was about to say.
“Because she isn’t ready.”
His eyes glazed over as he stared right through me.
“I just want her to be happy and safe.”
“Me too.” I let those words sink in before I spoke again. “She’s safe and finding her way.”
He chewed on his bottom lip for a long moment.
“You saved her that night. Not just physically.”
I was starting to see that but I didn’t know what the fuck to do with it.
“It might sound strange,” he went on without a reply from me, “but I felt it that night. You put your mark on her and she took it. I’m not
sure if she even realizes it yet, but you’re weaved into her soul.”
Well, I had maybe hoped and wished for that.
I didn’t really know what to say, so I stayed silent.
“I feel like I failed her,” he said and I wasn’t all that sure if he was talking to me at this point. “I need you to not.”
“I got you, brother. That’s why I’m sitting back and waiting for the right time.”
I had no clue if I assured him or not but he seemed like he dropped it.
I had been watching her closely. Maybe a little too much. But I wanted to know that she was okay. I had to know. I knew when she was released from the hospital. I knew that Sketch had been there when I wish I could have been.
I knew the moment he’d helped check her into rehab. And I knew the moment she walked out of that place. I knew the smile she held on her face the second she walked through those doors as a mostly free woman. I could see the determination in her eyes even though I had been far away. And yes I knew the moment she got her first legit job where she didn’t have to shed her clothes for some stranger.
I knew it all and I’d been there all along in the background.
I couldn’t let her go even if she wasn’t ready to give in to this thing between us.
Fuck, I sounded like a creepy person.
I only hoped that the fact that I saw that made me not so crazy.
Sketch looked around for a long moment. I wasn’t sure if he was checking to see if anyone was close to us or if he was lost in his head.
“Gonna say this and that’s it. No asking questions. No thinking about it beyond this moment.” He paused as his eyes shifted back to look into mine. I gave a firm nod letting him know I got him. “There are things she may never talk about. Things I’m sure you have an idea about. If you can’t let that shit be in the past and stay there, then don’t even. She deserves someone that accepts all the parts of her— missing and whole, even if they will never know what they are.”
“I don’t know anything about her and I don’t expect to. I just know that I can’t get her eyes out of my head. Haven’t been able to since the moment I saw that picture on her driver’s license. And the eyes I saw today, had a light in them that I don’t ever want to see go away.”
“So you get me,” he said narrowing his eyes at me a little like he could somehow see into my soul for the truth in my words.
“I got you,” I said with a little nod.
“Good,” he said then patted me on the back and walked off.
Why did that whole thing feel like I was getting a talking to from a big brother? At least he wasn’t trying to play the dad and pull a damn shotgun out on my ass. Not that it would have stopped me. This feeling I had for her, it was deep and something I couldn’t explain. Only time would tell if my heart had gotten it right.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Cable
I let out a heavy sigh when someone pounded on my door. It was that kind of pounding that said I needed to prepare myself and cover my junk up.
In other words, it was Sketch.
Most everyone didn’t give me shit about it when I was in my room. The curious looks stopped a couple weeks after that night. It was pretty much whatever at this point which I was pretty damn happy about.
I did end up putting the sign up on my door.
It was a way of telling everyone that hadn’t found out that night.
And it was still up today.
For some reason, Sketch was the only one that got twitchy with it. Did it make sense to me? No. Mostly because he didn’t have a problem with threesomes with another guy. I might have known first hand. Which meant I also knew the rules he had to go along with them.
He was strictly against crossing swords and I didn’t think it was a homophobic thing. I think it was a him thing and whatever shit happened to him in the past.
Knowing this made me ease up on him when he was in my room, even if I didn’t really know the reason behind it.
Hell, I still had my crab pillow handy for when he needed to come in.
“Yeah,” I called out and he came sauntering in. By now he didn’t even have that sly look like he was trying to see every part of my room but where I was sitting.
“Sup?” he asked with a chin jerk.
“Nothing…” I looked at him with narrowed eyes because he was acting a little strange. “Sup with you?”
“So I bought Claire a laptop, right, so she could do that online GED and college shit I talked her into.”
“Right…” Where the hell was he going with this?
“Yeah, so. She needs help setting it up. And I don’t know nothin’ about that shit. So I told her to come here and see you.”
“Sketch,” I said pointedly. “Setting up a laptop shouldn’t be hard. Hell, the one you probably got her should be simple enough. The only thing you have to do is pretty much turn it on. It’ll walk her through everything.”
“Nah,” he said shaking his head. “You forget. She didn’t grow up with things like you did. She doesn’t feel comfortable. Said she’s afraid to break it.”
“I want to be mad at you,” I said taking in a deep calming breath through my nose.
It had been a few weeks since I’d gone to the diner to see her and there had been a few times I almost broke down and went back. But I had stayed strong because I could sense that it wasn’t the right time.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see her.
No, that wasn’t it at all.
I’d jump at the chance to see her, for fuck’s sake.
But I also didn’t know if it was such a good idea for her to see me yet. Not like this where my identity was revealed and all. I was sure that I’d have some explaining to do.
I had no idea if she still needed time but I imagined that going through what she had, she probably would.
“I’m asking for your help, brother,” he said with a cocky smile like he knew he fuckin’ had me.
Shit.
“You sure you’re asking for my help and not playing fucking matchmaker?” I mumbled.
“Who me? Nah, why would I do that shit?”
Asshole.
“Fine. Tell her I’ll help,” I said after a long pause.
“Good, ‘cause she’s on her way.”
“What the fuck Sketch?!” I roared as I jumped up, not even trying to catch the pillow as it fell to the floor.
I searched for my pants as I tried to keep one eye on the half-opened door.
Fuckin’ Sketch! I knew he did that shit on purpose.
“Is this sign for real?” Her light voice called out with a hint of laughter to it.
I froze.
Fucking froze.
And it happened like one of those scenes in a movie, all slow motion like.
“Oh,” she said and her jaw fell open as the sound continued to come out of her mouth. “Yep, it’s for real.” She snapped her mouth shut like she hadn’t meant to say that out loud.
She blinked.
Once.
Twice.
And now it was suddenly awkward because there was no way I could hide how the woman affected me. Nope. Not even as I tossed my hands down to cover myself while screwing my eyes closed tight and trying to think of something that would make the awkwardness go away. I had to be honest, there was just no hiding it. This was one of those moments where being gifted wasn’t such a good thing.
“Fuck,” I said and spun around. Pretty sure that wasn’t any better.
“Wow,” I heard her whisper in awe of my backside. And damn Sketch, the laughing bastard. “Well, can’t say I wasn’t warned.”
Ah, there were my pants!
I snatched them up and pulled them on with lightning speed. Since I couldn’t find a shirt and my dresser was on the other side of the room, I had no choice but to just toss on my cut.
I bet I looked like the biggest asshole ever right now.
Yeah, I was going to kill Sketch later.
“So,” I
said as I took a deep breath and spun around to face them. “Sketch said you need help getting going with your laptop.” I was going for cool and collected hoping they would forget the whole thing that had just happened.
“Cable will take care of you, Claire. Later,” Sketch said with a snicker and then walked out of the room.
“Sorry about that,” I said as I bit the inside of my cheek.
“Don’t be,” she said with a blushing smile. “Wait…” Her eyes narrowed at me as she took in my face. “I know you.”
“Uh, yeah…”
“The diner. You’re the guy— you’re one of them? Hold on.”
She swayed on her feet and it looked like her legs were going to give out on her. Her eyes closed tightly and her forehead scrunched up like she was trying to recall something.
I swooped in to catch her if needed. She shook her head like she could sense I was near. It could have been that she’d heard my feet pounding across the room.
“Cable. That name. I remember it that night.” It was all coming back to her and I didn’t really know what to say.
I’d planned on telling her. One day. You know, if I got the chance to. It wasn’t my intention to keep it a secret. I just wanted to see her without bringing up a time in her life that I was sure she’d rather forget.
“This,” she said as she held out her wrist. “This was you, wasn’t it? Your voice… I remember it now.”
“Yeah,” I said as I breathed out a long breath and flopped down on the edge of my bed.
“Oh, God,” she said and looked like she was about to be sick. “I can’t—”
“Claire,” I said softly. I felt damn stupid and helpless right now. I wanted to go over to her and calm her down but it was clear that she didn’t want me anywhere near her.
“I have to go,” she said and ran out of the room so fast I didn’t even have a chance to stop her.
This was not how I wanted to tell her the truth. Not even fucking close.
I jumped up and darted out of my room but I was too late, she was already halfway down the stairs. I could have gone after her and maybe I should have, but I let her go because I didn’t know what the best thing to do in this situation was.