“What’s that?”
Before Arthur can answer the little girl stirred restlessly inside. Murder-Man had no time to retaliate, and before he can make a move to hide her she was peeking out of the doorway. Her dirty and bruised face that has only known fear and hunger looked out and onto Arthur’s clean and studious one. Children are not something Arthur saw often, they both stared at each other with suspicion and disbelief. Arthur shifted his weight uneasily as his Enforcer, the hired help, move forward.
“That,” Arthur says, pointing at the little girl “is a dependent.” He made a little check on his board.
Murder-Man pointed backward at the little girl with his thumb, and his hanging jaw snapped back into place to speak. "My cow?" he asks.
“My mistake” Arthur replied sullenly, understanding the term. “She’s your calories.” He continued, stating, not asking.
"Yeah, was gonna chop her and cook her before you punched my door all polite like" a grin crept up on Murder-Man's face. The little girl has been "taught" often not to run, and even now, in the face of death, she did not dare. She had been kept alive this long only so that her meat would be fresh when Murder-Man ran out of canned food.
"Can't say for certain until we get her at the headquarters and weigh her, but she looks to be almost exactly 90,000 calories. This would leave you with a refund of 10,000 calories which will be mailed to you within four to five weeks," Arthur said hurriedly, still avoiding eye contact. He finished writing and presented the clipboard to Murder-Man. "Sign here."
Murder-Man did not understand the gesture, nor could he write or read if he did. What he did understand is that the men in front of him intended to rob him of his meal. A meal he had gone a great length to keep alive this long and one that was only going to be eaten if he had no other food. The IRS was as confusing and frightening as he had heard, the man in leather could certainly kill him, but if they took his food, well, he would die slowly. The math was simple, starve, or go out fighting.
Murder-Man, he chose to go out fighting.
He cocked his gun.
Bullets rained.
A Happy Bureaucracy
…Coming soon!
When the bombs fell and the weather forecast became permanent nuclear fire, when flowers of destructive fusion blossomed leaving death in their wake, the least important question was immediately asked: who’s going to collect all of the taxes?
The IRS was the only institution to survive the human holocaust, and Arthur McDowell is a steadfast tax auditor craving the safety of the desk job due to him. However, his dreams will be put on hold as the IRS plans a census into new irradiated territory and he is forced to work with freelance Enforcer, Rabia Duke, whose diet of drugs is hand to mouth. This will be a suicide mission, and neither is keen to see the other survive.
The denizens of the wastes have much to fear. Radiation, roving gangs of psychopaths, and starvation, but the thing they should fear most is bureaucracy…
…a happy bureaucracy.
A Happy Bureaucracy will be available for Kindle in late 2018.
About the Author:
M.P. Fitzgerald lives in Seattle and is dedicated to injecting the feverish Gonzo style into fiction. He is an author, illustrator, and an amateur mad scientist. He has authored the Existential Terror and Breakfast series, The Nihilist’s Horoscope (which is free), and is writing a new series, A Happy Bureaucracy, of which this book is based on.
Please consider telling your friends about his books to help him spread the word.
Connect with M.P. Fitzgerald
Website: https://revfitz.com
Email: [email protected]
Memos From the Wasteland Page 4