Candace Bushnell
One Fifth Avenue
FOR HEATHER SCHRODER
Contents
Prologue
It was only a part in a TV series, and…
Act One
1
Billy Litchfield strolled by One Fifth at least twice a…
2
There were times now when Mindy Gooch wasn’t sure what…
3
“It is I, the prodigal nephew,” Philip said the next…
4
Billy Litchfield arrived back in the city at six o’clock…
5
Lately, sex was weighing heavily on Mindy’s mind. She and…
6
“Why are you going to a funeral for a woman…
7
“James, what is wrong with you?” Mindy asked the next…
Act Two
8
Enid Merle liked to say she could never stay angry…
9
A few weeks later, James Gooch sat in the office…
10
“Look,” Enid Merle said the next afternoon. “Schiffer Diamond’s new…
11
The drilling had begun again in the Rices’ apartment. Enid…
12
Billy Litchfield was on the train to Springfield, Massachusetts, when…
Act Three
13
“Listen to this,” Mindy said, coming into the bedroom. “‘Is…
14
As if he weren’t neurotic enough to begin with, in…
15
Connie Brewer promised Billy never to wear the Cross of…
16
Under regular circumstances, Paul Rice, the early riser, would have…
17
For Billy Litchfield, April brought not only spring showers but…
Act Four
18
That evening, Schiffer Diamond ran into Paul and Annalisa Rice…
19
A couple of hours later, Schiffer Diamond, made up and…
20
Early that evening, on her way to Thayer Core’s place,…
Act Five
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Other Books by Candace Bushnell
Copyright
Prologue
It was only a part in a TV series, and only a one-bedroom apartment in New York. But parts of any kind, much less decent ones, were hard to come by, and even in Los Angeles, everyone knew the value of a pied-à-terre in Manhattan. And the script arrived on the same day as the final divorce papers.
If real life were a script, a movie executive would have stricken this fact as “too coincidental.” But Schiffer Diamond loved coincidences and signs. Loved the childlike magic of believing all things happened for a reason. She was an actress and had lived on magic nearly all her life. And so she took the part, which required moving back to New York City for six months, where she would stay in the one-bedroom apartment she owned on Fifth Avenue. Her initial plan was to stay in New York for the duration of the shoot and then return to L.A. and her house in Los Feliz.
Two days after she took the part, she went to the Ivy and ran into her most recent ex-husband, lunching with a young woman. He was seated at a table in the center of the room, reveling in his new status as the president of a network, and given the deference the staff showed the young woman, Schiffer understood the young woman to be his new girlfriend. She was rumored to be a concert pianist from a renowned family, but had the glossy appearance of an expensive prostitute. The relationship was a cliché, but twenty-five years in Hollywood had taught Schiffer that men never minded clichés, especially when the cliché concerned the penis. Shortly thereafter, when she handed her ticket to the valet and stood outside the restaurant in her sunglasses, she decided to sell the house in Los Feliz, make a clean break of it, and move back to One Fifth.
“Schiffer Diamond has taken a part in a TV series,” Enid Merle said to her nephew, Philip Oakland.
“She must be desperate,” Philip said, half-jokingly.
Enid and Philip occupied two of the second best apartments in One Fifth, located on the thirteenth floor with adjoining terraces, separated by a charming white picket fence. It was across this fence that Enid now spoke to her nephew. “It may be a very good part,” Enid countered, consulting the piece of paper she held in her hand. “She’s going to play a mother superior who leaves the church to become the editor in chief of a magazine for teenagers.”
“Now, there’s a believable concept,” Philip said, with the sarcasm he reserved for most matters Hollywood.
“About as believable as a giant reptile that terrorizes New York. I wish you’d quit screenplays and go back to writing serious novels,” Enid said.
“Can’t,” Philip said with a smile. “I’m desperate.”
“It may be based on a true story,” Enid continued. “There was a woman—Sandra Miles—who was a mother superior and became an editor in chief. Back in the seventies. I had her to dinner once or twice. A thoroughly miserable woman, but that may have been due to her husband’s cheating. Being a virgin for so long, it’s possible she never got the sex part right. In any case,” Enid added, “the series shoots in New York.”
“Uh-huh,” Philip said.
“I suppose we’ll be seeing her around the building again,” Enid said.
“Who?” Philip said, trying to appear uninterested. “Sandra Miles?”
“Schiffer Diamond,” Enid said. “Sandra Miles left New York years ago. She may even be dead.”
“Unless she stays in a hotel,” Philip said, referring to Schiffer Diamond.
“Why on earth would she do that?” Enid said.
When his aunt had gone back in, Philip remained on his terrace, staring out at Washington Square Park, of which he had a superior view. It was July, and the park was lush with greenery, the dry August heat yet to come. But Philip wasn’t thinking about foliage. He was miles away, standing on a dock on Catalina Island twenty-five years before.
“So you’re the schoolboy genius,” Schiffer Diamond said, coming up behind him.
“Huh?” he said, turning around.
“They tell me you’re the writer of this lousy movie.”
He bristled. “If you think it’s so lousy—”
“Yes, schoolboy?” she asked.
“Then why are you in it?”
“All movies are lousy by definition. They’re not art. But everyone needs money. Even geniuses.”
“I’m not doing it for the money,” he said.
“Why are you doing it?”
“To meet girls like you?” he asked.
She laughed. She was wearing white jeans and a navy blue T-shirt. She was braless and barefoot and tanned. “Good answer, schoolboy,” she said, starting to walk away.
“Hey,” he called after her. “Do you really think the movie is lousy?”
“What do you think?” she asked. “Besides, you can never really judge a man’s work until you’ve been to bed with him.”
“Are you planning to go to bed with me?” he said.
“I never plan anything. I like to see what happens. Life’s much more interesting that way, don’t you think?” And she went to do her scene.
A minute later, Enid’s voice startled Philip out of his reverie. “I just talked to Roberto,” she said, referring to the head doorman. “Schiffer Diamond is coming back today. A housekeeper was in her apartment this week, getting it ready. Roberto says she’s moving back. Maybe permanently. Isn’t that exciting?”
“I’m thrilled,” Philip said.
“I wonder how she’ll find New York,” Enid said. “Having been away for so long.”
“Exactly the same, Auntie,�
� Philip said. “You know New York never changes. The characters are different, but the play remains the same.”
Later that afternoon, Enid Merle was putting the finishing touches on her daily gossip column when a sudden gust of wind slammed shut the door to her terrace. Crossing the room to open it, Enid caught sight of the sky and stepped outside. A mountain of thunderclouds had built up on the other side of the Hudson River and was rapidly approaching the city. This was unusual, Enid thought, as the early July day hadn’t been particularly hot. Gazing upward, Enid spotted her neighbor Mrs. Louise Houghton on her own terrace, wearing an old straw hat and holding a pair of gardening shears in her gloved hand. In the last five years, Louise Houghton, who was nearing one hundred, had slowed down, spending most of her time attending to her prizewinning roses. “Hallo,” Enid called loudly to Mrs. Houghton, who was known to be slightly deaf. “Looks like we’re in for a big thunderstorm.”
“Thank you, dear,” Mrs. Houghton said graciously, as if she were a queen addressing one of her loyal subjects. Enid would have been annoyed if not for the fact that this was Mrs. Houghton’s standard response to just about everyone now.
“You might want to go inside,” Enid said. Despite Mrs. Houghton’s quaint grandeur, which was off-putting to some, Enid was fond of the old lady, the two having been neighbors for over sixty years.
“Thank you, dear,” Mrs. Houghton said again, and might have gone inside but for a flock of pigeons that flew abruptly out of Washington Square Park, diverting her attention. In the next second, the sky turned black, and rain the size of pellets began to pummel Fifth Avenue. Enid hurried inside, losing sight of Mrs. Houghton, who was struggling against the rain on her spindly old legs. Another strong gust of wind released a lattice screen from its moorings and knocked the elegant old lady to her knees. Lacking the strength to stand, Louise Houghton tipped sideways onto her hip, shattering the fragile bone and preventing further movement. For several minutes, she lay in the rain until one of her four maids, unable to locate Mrs. Houghton in the vast seven-thousand-square-foot apartment, ventured outside and discovered her under the lattice.
Meanwhile, on the street below, two Town Cars were slowly making their way down Fifth Avenue like a small cortege. When they reached One Fifth, the drivers got out and, hunched against the rain and shouting instructions and oaths, began pulling out the luggage. The first piece was an old-fashioned Louis Vuitton steamer trunk that required the efforts of two men to lift. Roberto, the doorman, hurried out, paused under the awning, and called for backup before waving the men inside. A porter came up from the basement, pushing a large cart with brass poles. The drivers heaved the trunk onto the cart, and then one after another, each piece of matching luggage was piled on top.
Down the street, a strong gust of wind ripped an umbrella out of the hands of a businessman, turning it inside out. It scuttled across the pavement like a witch’s broom, coming to rest on the wheel of a shiny black SUV that had just pulled up to the entrance. Spotting the passenger in the backseat, Roberto decided to brave the rain. Picking up a green-and-white golf umbrella, he brandished it like a sword as he hurried out from under the awning. Reaching the SUV, he angled it expertly against the wind so as to protect the emerging passenger.
A blue-and-green brocade shoe with a kitten heel appeared, followed by the famous long legs, clad in narrow white jeans. Then a hand with the slim, elegant fingers of an artist; on the middle finger was a large aquamarine ring. At last Schiffer Diamond herself got out of the car. She hadn’t changed at all, Roberto thought, taking her hand to help her out. “Hello, Roberto,” she said, as easily as if she’d been gone for two weeks instead of twenty years. “Crap weather, isn’t it?”
Act One
1
Billy Litchfield strolled by One Fifth at least twice a day. He once had a dog, a Wheaten terrier, that had been given to him by Mrs.
Houghton, who had raised Wheaten terriers on her estate on the Hudson. Wheaty had required two outings a day to the dog run in Washington Square Park, and Billy, who lived on Fifth Avenue just north of One Fifth, had developed the habit then of walking past One Fifth as part of his daily constitutional. One Fifth was one of his personal landmarks, a magnificent building constructed of a pale gray stone in the classic lines of the art deco era, and Billy, who had one foot in the new millennium and one foot in the café society of lore, had always admired it. “It shouldn’t matter where you live as long as where you live is decent,” he said to himself, but still, he aspired to live in One Fifth. He had aspired to live there for thirty-five years and had yet to make it.
For a short time, Billy had decided that aspiration was dead, or at least out of favor. This was just after 9/11, when the cynicism and shallowness that had beaten through the lifeblood of the city was interpreted as unnecessary cruelty, and it was all at once tacky to wish for anything other than world peace, and tacky not to appreciate what one had. But six years had passed, and like a racehorse, New York couldn’t be kept out of the gate, nor change its nature. While most of New York was in mourning, a secret society of bankers had brewed and stirred a giant cauldron of money, adding a dash of youth and computer technology, and voilà, a whole new class of the obscenely super-rich was born. This was perhaps bad for America, but it was good for Billy. Although a self-declared anachronism, lacking the appurtenances of what might be called a regular job, Billy acted as a sort of concierge to the very rich and successful, making introductions to decorators, art dealers, club impresarios, and members of the boards of both cultural establishments and apartment buildings. In addition to a nearly encyclopedic knowledge of art and antiquities, Billy was well versed in the finer points of jets and yachts, knew who owned what, where to go on vacation, and which restaurants to frequent.
Billy had very little money of his own, however. Possessing the fine nature of an aristocrat, Billy was a snob, especially when it came to money. He was happy to live among the rich and successful, to be witty at dinner and house parties, to advise what to say and how best to spend money, but he drew the line at soiling his own hands in the pursuit of filthy lucre.
And so, while he longed to live at One Fifth Avenue, he could never raise the desire in himself to make that pact with the devil to sell his soul for money. He was content in his rent-stabilized apartment for which he paid eleven hundred dollars a month. He often reminded himself that one didn’t actually need money when one had very rich friends.
Upon returning from the park, Billy usually felt soothed by the morning air. But on this particular morning in July, Billy was despondent. While in the park he had sat down on a bench with The New York Times and discovered that his beloved Mrs. Houghton had passed away the night before. During the thunderstorm three days ago, Mrs. Houghton had been left out in the rain for no more than ten minutes, but it was still too late. A vicious pneumonia had set in, bringing her long life to a swift and speedy end and taking much of New York by surprise. Billy’s only consolation was that her obituary had appeared on the front page of the Times, which meant there were still one or two editors who remembered the traditions of a more refined age, when art mattered more than money, when one’s contribution to society was more important than showing off the toys of one’s wealth.
Thinking about Mrs. Houghton, Billy found himself lingering in front of One Fifth, staring up at the imposing facade. For years, One Fifth had been an unofficial club for successful artists of all kinds—the painters and writers and composers and conductors and actors and directors who possessed the creative energy that kept the city alive. Although not an artist herself, Mrs. Houghton, who had lived in the building since 1947, had been the arts’ biggest patron, founding organizations and donating millions to art institutions both large and small. There were those who’d called her a saint.
In the past hour, the paparazzi apparently had decided a photograph of the building in which Mrs. Houghton had lived might be worth money, and had gathered in front of the entrance. As Billy took in the small
group of photographers, badly dressed in misshapen T-shirts and jeans, his sensibilities were offended. All the best people are dead, he thought mournfully.
And then, since he was a New Yorker, his thoughts inevitably turned to real estate. What would happen to Mrs. Houghton’s apartment? he wondered. Her children were in their seventies. Her grandchildren, he supposed, would sell it and take the cash, having denuded most of the Houghton fortune over the years, a fortune, like so many old New York fortunes, that turned out to be not quite as impressive as it had been in the seventies and eighties. In the seventies, a million dollars could buy you just about anything you wanted. Now it barely paid for a birthday party.
How New York had changed, Billy thought.
“Money follows art, Billy,” Mrs. Houghton always said. “Money wants what it can’t buy. Class and talent. And remember that while there’s a talent for making money, it takes real talent to know how to spend it. And that’s what you do so well, Billy.”
And now who would spend the money to buy the Houghton place? It hadn’t been redecorated in at least twenty years, trapped in the chintz of the eighties. But the bones of the apartment were magnificent—and it was one of the grandest apartments in Manhattan, a proper triplex built for the original owner of One Fifth, which had once been a hotel. The apartment had twelve-foot ceilings and a ballroom with a marble fireplace, and wraparound terraces on all three floors.
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