by Carrie Elks
To be fair, Chrissie had always made Van feel small. It wasn’t the fact that she had more than Van, nor that she had two parents who were sober and loved her. It was that it wasn’t enough. She had to rub it in Van’s face, make fun of her. Her happiness depended on others’ misery.
And that made Van dislike her. The day her fist connected with Chrissie’s face had been a culmination of years of frustration. Yes, she’d said some awful things about Van’s mom that day, but Van was used to that. It had only been the excuse to do the one thing she’d always dreamed of.
To hit back at those people who thought they were better than her.
It had been worth it, too. Worth the two-week suspension, worth being lectured for hours by the principal, even worth having Tanner being disappointed with her.
“We have a plan,” he’d said when he climbed through her window that night. “You need to study and keep your grades up. That’s the only way to get into college.”
“So are you and Tanner Hartson still close?” Chrissie asked as she unlatched the front door.
Van blinked the memories away, and looked at Chrissie, who was holding the door open.
“Um. Kind of. Why?”
“I just heard he was back in town.” Chrissie shrugged. “And according to popular opinion he’s more gorgeous than ever. Is he seeing anybody, do you know?”
“I’ve no idea.” Van shrugged. “You’d have to ask him.”
Chrissie laughed. “I might just do that. Thanks, Savannah.”
“No problem.” It was an effort to smile, but she did it anyway. “Bye, Chrissie.” Then she walked down the steps and the path, not looking back once.
Even if she did feel like punching Chrissie’s face all over again.
Chapter Eleven
Van was kneeling on the front lawn doing yard work when she heard a voice call out.
“Savannah Butler, I heard you were back in town. I hope you were intending to come say hi to me at some point.”
She turned to see the smiling face of Tanner’s Aunt Gina leaning out of her car, and her own lips lifted into a grin. Growing up, Aunt Gina had been like a second mom to Van, the same way she’d been to the Hartson siblings. Feeding them, talking them through their problems, making sure they felt loved.
Her welcoming smile was such a stark contrast to Nora Fairfax’s the previous day at Regan’s sprinkle. It felt like a balm to Van’s ruffled soul.
“Of course I was going to come see you.” Van ran over to the car and hugged Aunt Gina through the open window. “How are you?”
“I’m doing fine. Even better now that some of my babies are back in town.” Aunt Gina winked. She was perfectly turned out as always, her white hair elegantly coiffed. She was wearing a pink-and-white patterned tea dress and it complemented her still-svelte figure. “And that includes you in case you’re wondering,” she told Van. “Now when are you coming over to my place so I can feed you up? There’s nothing left on those bones of yours.”
Van glanced at her body. She was wearing a pair of cut-off jeans and an old grey t-shirt she’d knotted at the waist to keep it out of the dirt as she weeded her mom’s flower beds. “I’ve been eating plenty. But I’d never turn down one of your meals.”
“That’s good. Because we’re barbecuing this evening. Bring your family with you. Your mom and your sister, Zoe, is it?”
“That’s right. And we’d love to, or at least Zoe and I would. Mom’s not feeling the best.” Van’s heart swelled just a little. Aunt Gina never left anybody out.
“I’m sorry to hear about your mom.” Aunt Gina’s voice was soft. “And about her marriage troubles. That’s never good for anybody. Is she doing okay?”
Van let out a mouthful of air. Her mom hadn’t gotten up today at all. Not even when Van and Zoe cooked pancakes and bacon, giggling in the kitchen as they danced to old eighties music. “She’s been better. But she’ll pull through.”
Gina nodded, but said nothing. She didn’t need to. Her eyes were full of understanding. She’d never pried about Van’s mom, not even when she was younger. But she always made sure Van was okay.
“Okay then. Come over any time after five. And don’t bring a thing. We already have too much food. Even with Tanner and Gray there it won’t all get eaten.”
Van’s heart clenched at the mention of Tanner. She hadn’t had time to run at all this weekend, and she missed seeing him. It was stupid, because she’d managed for all these years without him. Yet a couple of days and her heart was galloping at the thought of seeing him again.
“I can’t turn up empty handed,” Van told Gina. “What would they say at Chairs?”
“Chairs, schmairs. Just come and make an old woman happy.” Gina blew her a kiss. “Now I have to go, I have a bridge game in ten minutes. And if I get there late they’ll replace me with Della Thorsen.” She widened her eyes in horror. “That woman could cheat her own mother.”
Van laughed, making a shooing motion with her hands. “Go. And I’ll see you tonight.”
Gina put her foot on the gas, and her old brown station wagon lurched forward. The grin was still on Van’s face as she watched the car disappear around the corner, the roaring sound of the engine still audible above the sweet singing of the birds in the trees.
Five o’clock. That’s when she would see Tanner again, if she didn’t see him running first. Van was more than aware she owed him an answer about helping him with the drive-in. She’d been thinking about it for days, after all.
“So there are five of them?” Zoe asked, as Van lifted the old brass knocker on the Hartson’s front door. “Wow. I can’t imagine having five brothers and sisters.”
“It was always chaos at their house,” Van admitted, biting down a smile. Memories of sitting at the Hartson’s oversized dining table washed through her. Aunt Gina always managed to make sure there was enough food no matter how many of them were sitting around there. Often Gray would bring his girlfriend, and Logan and Cam would have two or three friends with them, along with Becca and their dad. It had been such a contrast to the meals Van would eat at home, which were usually a piece of toast and whatever canned goods she could manage to get open, while her mom was who knew where.
The Hartsons’ house had been her sanctuary growing up. She’d been envious of Tanner’s family, and overjoyed that they’d treated her like one of their own. She’d genuinely fallen for them all. Gray and his singing. Logan and his cooking. Even Cam’s obsession with football, which meant every Monday night was spent with the game blasting out from the television in the den.
“Hey!” Becca shouted from the side of the house. “What’s with you knocking on the front door? You always used to come around the back.”
Van let the knocker fall back into place. She felt Zoe nestle a little closer to her. “I didn’t want to presume,” she told Becca.
“Gah, you’re one of the family. Come on ’round.” Becca grinned at Zoe. “Hey, kiddo. Anybody told you that you look just like Van did when she was younger?”
Zoe blushed. “I do?” she asked with wide eyes. She looked at Van as though she couldn’t quite see it.
“Yep,” Becca said, as they made their way to the side of the house. “She had that whole angelic thing going, too. Though she was really naughty. Did she tell you about the time she spiked the communion wine at church?”
“That one wasn’t me,” Van protested. “It was Gray.”
“What was me?”
“Is that Gray Hartson?” Zoe whispered, her hand sliding into Van’s.
Van nodded. “Yeah.” There he was. The boy she used to know standing six feet three inches tall, his arms covered in tattoos, his hair artfully disheveled. And he was grinning at her, his handsome face lighting up as he caught her gaze.
Gray walked over to them, leaning forward to hug Van tightly. “Maddie told me you were back in town. You should’ve come to see me.” He stepped back and smiled at Zoe. “And you must be Van’s sister.” He held out his hand and
Zoe took it, swallowing hard. Van tried not to laugh at the awe on Zoe’s face.
“Hi,” she squeaked out.
“You guys want a drink?” Becca asked. “Aunt Gina made iced tea.”
“I’d love one.” Van glanced down at Zoe who nodded, still star struck.
The next few minutes were taken up with hugs and greetings. Though Cam and Logan weren’t there, the garden still felt full. Maddie’s mom was there, and Becca’s friend, Laura, and her family. “We decided to eat outside since it’s so nice,” Becca told her, nodding at the table set up on the freshly cut lawn.
“Where’s Tanner?” Van asked, trying to keep her voice nonchalant. When Becca shot her a questioning look, she lifted her iced tea to her lips to hide the way she couldn’t help but grin.
“He sassed Aunt Gina so she made him go to the store to pick up marshmallows.” Becca wiggled her eyebrows. “We’re having ’smores for dessert.”
“’Smores?” Zoe asked tipping her head. “What are those?”
Becca shook her head. “Kid, you’ve got a lot of learning to do.” She pointed at Van. “This sister of yours isn’t doing her job if you don’t know what ’smores are.” She hunkered down until her face was level with Zoe’s. “’Smores are like the best thing you’ll ever taste. Like eating heaven and hell all mixed in one. And the cool thing is you get to make them yourself. With a stick, over fire.”
Zoe shot Van a look over her shoulder. Van grinned and nodded. “Yep. They’re pretty good.”
“Somebody get me a beer,” Tanner called out, rounding the corner with overstuffed brown bags in his arms. “I just got goosed by Lucy Sanders in the grocery store.”
Becca coughed out a laugh.
He put the bags on the table next to the grill. When he turned back, his eyes met Van’s and his grin widened. “You came.”
Becca slid a cold beer into his hand. “Of course she did. We have ‘smores.”
“Thanks to me.” He lifted an eyebrow. “I’m going to be traumatized for the rest of my life just because you wanted marshmallows.”
“Shut up.” Becca shook her head. “We all know you have a thing for the older ladies.”
Van bit down on her lip, trying not to laugh. There was such a feeling of warmth in the backyard that had nothing to do with the evening sun or the burning grill. Spending time with the Hartsons had always felt like pulling the warmest, coziest blanket over herself.
From the way Zoe was grinning from ear-to-ear as Becca shoved a marshmallow in her mouth, her sister felt exactly the same way.
Maybe things were going to be okay after all.
The sun was slipping down past the treeline, casting long shadows across the burnished grass. Aunt Gina was carrying the last of the dishes inside, batting away everybody’s offers of help. “You young folk stay out here. I’m going to sit in my chair inside and read my book for a while.” Her eyes crinkled as she moved her gaze from Gray and Maddie around to Zoe and Van. “It warms my heart to have you all here again.”
Van checked her watch. “I guess we should go,” she said, pressing her lips together in a regretful smile. “It’s past Zoe’s bedtime.”
“No! Don’t go yet.” Becca’s eyes were imploring. “I promised Zoe I’d show her how to play chubby bunnies.”
“She’ll be here all night,” Tanner teased. “You have the biggest mouth of all of us.”
Becca slapped his arm. “Shut up. And don’t think I’ve forgotten the time you shoved a boiled egg in my mouth when I was trying to beat my record. I still haven’t gotten the taste completely out of my mouth.”
“That was Van’s idea,” Tanner said, sliding his gaze to hers.
Van lifted an eyebrow. “It wasn’t my idea to do it to Becca,” she pointed out. “I did it to you, then you just had to share the fun.”
“Still makes you a bad influence.” He winked at her. She looked so damn beautiful tonight it made his heart hurt. Her golden hair tumbled past her shoulders in soft, easy waves, catching the light of the setting sun when it peeped between the trees. She was wearing a white, embroidered sun dress, the bodice tight against her chest, drawing his eye every time he looked over.
“Come on, let’s go eat the marshmallows over there,” Becca said, grabbing Zoe’s hand and leading her to the garden chairs set up next to the pond. “We’ll be at a safe distance from your sister and my brother. It’s the only way to avoid their dastardly plans.”
On the other side of the table, Maddie and her mom were playing cards with Laura and her family, while Gray strummed his guitar and hummed, occasionally writing something down on the pad in front of him.
Tanner grabbed a half-full bottle of white wine, and walked back to where Van was sitting. He topped up her glass then took the seat next to her, stretching out his long legs.
“Thank you.” She took a sip. There was a light in her eyes that made him want to get lost inside of them.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
She tipped her head toward him, her skin glowing in the dim light of the sun. “I was just thinking how lovely this all is. I’ve missed your family. I can’t remember the last time I sat in this yard and laughed so much.”
“They’ve missed you, too.” He ran his tongue across his dry lips. “You being gone for so long is my fault. I took this from you.” His chest tightened. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Her eyes were soft. “It’s old news.”
No it wasn’t. It still felt new and painful. It was the reason he’d lost his best friend. But she didn’t want to talk about it, that much was obvious. He poured himself a glass of wine and took a sip. “I heard you talking about your job to Aunt Gina. I didn’t know you went freelance.”
“Yeah. A couple of years ago.” She smiled at him.
“Do you like being your own boss?”
“Yes.” She nodded. “I like being able to pick and choose my clients. Especially being able to say no to those ones who are difficult.” Van leaned back in her chair, her body angled toward his. His hand was close to hers, enough that if he straightened his arm he could touch her. He had to curl his fingers away to stop himself from doing just that. “And then there’s the flexibility,” she continued, as if she was oblivious to the chemistry building between them. “It meant I could come here when I was needed without being afraid of getting fired.”
“There are some perks to being in charge,” he agreed.
“Sure are.”
It was crazy how often their gazes were meeting. He’d never get tired of the way she’d make his body feel electric with a simple glance. It was a special kind of torment. Like a kid being tickled until he could barely breathe. He loved it and he hated it.
“How about you?” she asked. “Do you miss your work?”
He lifted his glass to his lips, thinking through her question. The truth was, in the past few days he’d barely thought about New York. His mind was too full of her.
“I miss being busy,” he admitted. “I’m not built to sit around doing nothing.”
She glanced at his body. “I don’t believe you do nothing. You run, you shop for Aunt Gina.” She smirked. “And you buy drive-ins on a whim.”
He couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, I guess that’s kept me busy.” He licked his lips, still studying her. “Will you go back to Richmond at some point?”
She still hadn’t mentioned his offer of a job. He wanted to talk to her about it, but right now their conversation was so easy, so flowing. He hated to interrupt it.
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “It depends on Zoe, I guess. And Mom.” She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, and he recognized that expression right away. He’d seen it too many times when they were kids not to know it. He’d been the closest person to her then. He knew her tells, the same way a poker player would.
“Is Kim bad?” he asked.
Van nodded. “Like she used to be.” Her voice dropped as she told him.
“Shit.”
�
�Right?” She gave him a sad smile. “I can’t leave Zoe when she’s like this. So I’m here for a while.”
“Can you get child services involved?” Tanner leaned forward, his face earnest.
“Mom would never forgive me if I called them. She’d probably throw me out and refuse to let me see Zoe. I figure it’s better if I approach this softly. Maybe she’ll even surprise me.”
“Maybe.” He smiled at her. He loved the way she had it all together. There was something so alluring about the way she never faltered. With her perfectly fitting dress, her golden hair, and sunkissed skin she looked like a little piece of sunshine sitting next to him. It made his body ache for her. He wanted to peel that dress off her, inch by inch, and see the perfection underneath.
Wanted to taste her, touch her, make her sigh.
It had been way too long since he’d touched a woman. That’s what being a workaholic did to you.
It’s been way too long since you touched this woman. His lips curled at the sound of the voice in his head. It sounded way too much like Logan for comfort.
Her eyes caught his again, and widened, as though she could read the thoughts rushing through his brain. He didn’t blink, unafraid of his thoughts. He wanted her to know them.
And to reflect them right back at him.
“Tanner…”
“Yeah?” he asked, shifting so he was facing her. His knees grazed hers. Even through his cotton pants, he could feel the heat of her skin. Could smell her, too. Sweet and floral.
Damn it, he couldn’t ignore the need to touch her anymore. He slid his fingers between hers, curling his palm around her hand, swallowing hard at the softness of her skin. Her chest was rising and falling rapidly, her eyes fixed on his. If they weren’t surrounded by people right now…