by Carrie Elks
“Is it?” Van chuckled.
“Yeah. Why are you laughing?”
“I don’t know,” Van said, swallowing hard. “It just struck me as funny. That’s all.”
“I just think it would be nice if you two… I don’t know… maybe thought about dating or something. I always thought you would when we were younger. You two look good together. And that would make you my sister.” Becca grinned. “I’d like that a lot.”
“We’re just friends, Becca. That’s all.” Van’s voice was soft. She’d always had a soft spot for the younger girl.
Becca nodded, her hopeful expression dissolving. “I guess I should go get this food.”
“Sure. I’ll see you around.”
Giving her a half-smile, Becca said her goodbyes and walked into the diner. When Kim emerged from the doctor’s office ten minutes later, Van was sitting in her car, the windows down, listening to soft music playing on the local country radio station.
“Well that was a waste of time,” Kim said, sitting down and slamming the door. “He won’t up my dose of happy pills. Not unless I agree to go to AA.” She shook her head. “I told him I’m not an alcoholic. I just like a drink occasionally.”
Van let out a lungful of air. “You drink most nights.”
“Yeah, to take off the edge. Maybe if he upped my dose I wouldn’t need to.” Kim shook her head as Van pulled away and drove toward home. “I told him it’s just temporary. To get me over losing Craig. And then he started talking about therapy.” She huffed. “Like I need therapy.”
“Everybody could benefit from therapy,” Van murmured, her knuckles tight as she turned the wheel.
“I’m not crazy. I’ve just been left by my husband.” Kim leaned her chin on her hand, staring out of the passenger window. The air was rushing through the gap at the top. “I don’t know why I bother.”
“Because you want to feel better?” Van suggested.
“Yeah. Well now I feel worse.” Kim slumped down. “I think I’ll go to bed when we get home. I’m exhausted.”
“You do that,” Van said, her teeth clenched as she pulled the car into the driveway and put it in park.
Two steps forward and one back. At least her mom had gotten dressed today. But the way she swung between moods made Van feel distinctly uneasy. In so many ways, it felt like she was eighteen again.
Her mom was drinking and volatile, the same way she’d been before she got pregnant with Zoe.
And then there was Tanner.
He was gorgeous, unforgettable, and made her heart skip way too many beats.
She was almost certain she was going to take the job at the drive-in.
And it felt like Van’s world was tipping on the edge, out of reach no matter how hard she tried to hold onto it. If she’d let herself think about it for too long, she’d be scared to death.
As soon as he saw her his body tensed up. Not in a bad way, just a ‘damn, I’m a goner, and I really don’t want her to know it’ fashion. Van was walking toward him, her golden hair rippling in waves as the afternoon sun hit it, her bare legs tan and lithe from all the running she did. She was wearing a dark blue dress, belted at her slim waist, a few buttons at the top unfastened so he could see the dip between her neck and her chest.
“I got you a latte,” he said, passing her a takeout cup. “I hope that’s okay.”
“It’s perfect.” She smiled at him, her red painted lips curling up. “Thank you.” She lifted it to her mouth, closing her eyes for a moment as she took a sip, then let out a long, deep sigh. “Oh, you don’t know how much I needed this,” she said, looking up at him through her dark lashes.
He swallowed hard, even though his coffee remained untouched. Did she know what she sounded like when she sighed?
Like sex.
Shut up.
Was his mind really arguing with itself right now?
“Bad day?” he asked, as they walked out of the square and crossed the road. One of his aunt’s friends was scrubbing the steps of the First Baptist Church. He lifted a hand in greeting, and she waved back.
“Something like that.” She inhaled deeply. “But I’m feeling better now. Thank you.”
“I didn’t do anything.” He shrugged. “But I’ll take your gratitude anyway. “ He winked. “If you’ll take my job.”
“Okay.”
He blinked. Her sudden acceptance shocked him. “Seriously?”
“Yeah.” She nodded. “I need a job if I’m staying around a while.”
“I had this whole speech memorized.” He grinned at her. “I was prepared to beg you. I’m kinda disappointed now.”
She pouted. “So am I. You want to do it anyway?”
He laughed. “Nope. Not when you’re such a pushover.”
“Shut up. And I haven’t told you my terms yet.” Her voice was almost cocky. He loved confident Van.
Loved? What the heck?
“I accept them,” he said smoothly, ignoring the thoughts whirring through his brain.
“Stop it!” Her bottom lip dropped open. “What if I told you I wanted to be paid a million dollars and have half the shares in the company?”
“I’d tell you that you’re underselling yourself.” They turned the corner, walking past the big houses that led to the creek. “You might have to wait a while for the million though. Until we’re turning a profit.”
“I don’t want a million.” She took another sip of coffee. Some foam clung to her red lips, and she licked it away. Tanner tried to pull his eyes away, but he couldn’t. It was too mesmerizing.
“What do you want?” he asked, his voice thick.
“I just want people to know I got this job under my own merits. Because I’m good at what I do. I don’t want the gossips saying you gave me a job because you feel sorry for me or…” She sighed. “Or that I’m sleeping my way to the top.”
“But you’re not.”
“That’s not how they’ll see it. People are already talking about us.”
“They are? Who?” His brows pulled together as he looked at her.
“Your sister for one.”
“Becca said something to you?” His frown deepened. “I’ll speak to her.”
“No, don’t.” Van shook her head. “She was just being silly. Asking me if I was single. Telling me that you were.”
He took a deep breath. His chest felt strange. As tight as it did the last time he finished a marathon. “Are you single?” he asked her. His breath caught in his throat as he waited for her answer.
She tipped her head to the side, her hair falling over one shoulder. “I am.” She nodded.
Good.
They’d made it to the edge of the creek. Van lifted her hand to her brow to block out the sun. “Remember when we tried to build a raft?” she asked him.
He smiled. The water was glistening, reflecting the solar rays that hit it. “Yeah. I remember how it sunk as soon as you climbed on it.”
She laughed, and it looked good on her. Way too good. “I only climbed on it because you were too scared to.”
“Too sensible, you mean.”
Her gaze met his. “You always were the one with more common sense.”
“I wanted to be like you. Fearless. You were never scared of anything.”
Her lips parted. He could see the tip of her tongue peeking through. “I was scared,” she said. “I just hid it well. I find that harder to do as time goes on.”
“What are you scared of now?” he asked. He could feel the blood pumping through him, heating up his skin. A gust of wind lifted her hair, leaving a tendril stuck to her lips. He reached out to pull it away, tucking it behind her ear.
Her skin was warm. Soft. Everything he remembered.
“How long have you got?” she asked him. “The list is long.”
His eyes met hers again. “I can listen for as long as it takes.”
God he loved the way she smiled. The sun dipped behind a cloud, the shadow cooling his skin. He could feel his
heart pumping in a steady rhythm against his ribcage. Standing there by the creek, she looked like the image of a country girl. Golden and tanned, her pretty dress doing nothing to hide the delicate curves of her body. He wanted to scoop her up and pull her against him, then kiss her so damn hard until they were both breathless.
The moment flickered between them, sending a pink flush to her cheeks. Her lips parted, as though she was trying to catch her breath.
There was no point in fighting it, this aching need he had for her. It had taken on a life of its own. It made him feel emotions he hadn’t felt in a long time. Things he’d told himself he didn’t need. And yet now they felt like air to him.
“Savannah,” he said, his fingers unfurling as he reached out to cup her cheek. Her skin was so damn warm and soft. He brushed the nape of her neck with his fingers, and she swallowed hard.
“You never call me Savannah,” she whispered, her voice almost a sigh.
“You never used to let me.” His thumb traced the line of her cheek, down to the corner of her full lips. “You refused to answer to it.”
“It’s a weak name.”
His eyes dipped to her mouth. “No it’s not. It can’t be. It’s your name and you’re the strongest person I know.”
He slid his hand to her neck, her soft hair brushing against his knuckles. She swallowed hard, her neck undulating, her eyes trained on his. He couldn’t tell if she was breathing. All he could hear was the soft rustle of the leaves as the afternoon breeze danced around them, and the pounding of the blood as it rushed through his ears.
Her eyes dilated as he bent his head toward her, his lips a breath away from hers. She parted her mouth, her breath catching in her throat, and he felt the need to taste her in every inch of his body.
“I’m sorry.” She stepped back, her chest rising and falling rapidly. “That was weird. I don’t know what just happened.” She pulled her coffee cup to her chest, as though it was some kind of shield. “Maybe it’s Becca’s fault. For talking about us being single.” Van shook her head. “It’s been a long day.”
Tanner’s brow pulled down. “It wasn’t you. It was me.” He’d wanted to kiss her. Ached for it. Still did. But there she was, her expression full of regret, her body set in a stance that screamed keep away. “I’m sorry, too.”
“Maybe I should add something to my terms,” she said, lifting her lips into a smile. One that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “No weirdness between us. Just a boss and employee relationship.”
“No weirdness, right.” He nodded slowly. “I’ll be sure to write that into your contract.”
“Seriously, though.” Her smile softened. “I don’t want to do anything that affects our working relationship.” She looked down at the dry grass growing around their feet. “I haven’t ruined it before it’s begun, have I?”
“Of course you haven’t.” He offered her a small smile. “We’re all good here.”
Van blew out a mouthful of air. “Thank goodness. Because I need this job. Almost as much as I need for the whole town not to be talking about me.” Her eyes finally lifted to his. “And as much as I need you to be my friend.”
He could see the plea inside her stare. “I’ll always be your friend. And nobody’s going to be talking about you,” he promised. Her shoulders visibly relaxed. “Come on,” he said, reaching for her hand. “Let’s go for a walk.”
If she wanted him to be her friend, then that’s what he’d be. Even if it killed him from the inside out.
He’d lost her once because of poor judgment. He wasn’t planning on doing it again. He’d be her friend, her employer, whatever else she wanted him to be.
For now, that was enough. It had to be.
Chapter Fourteen
“Hey, I heard you were back in town.” Tanner looked up from his phone to see a tall blond guy standing next to his table in the diner. He blinked for a moment, before recognition finally dawned. Nate Daniels hadn’t changed that much, after all. His hair was thinner, his face more weathered but he’d recognize that wide smile anywhere.
He and Nate had been pretty close at school, both playing on the football team. They’d even both gone to Duke. But they’d lost touch somewhere along the way as Tanner grew his business in New York and Nate settled down back in Hartson’s Creek, working for his dad’s firm of local attorneys. It was strange, seeing him in a business suit instead of their old uniform of t-shirt and jeans. Or on a Friday night, their football gear.
“It’s good to see you,” Tanner said, standing to shake Nate’s hand. “How are you doing, man?”
“Great. Working hard, playing harder.” He laughed. “You’re the talk of Hartson’s Creek right now. My dad told me he’s been working on the contracts for the drive-in.”
Tanner lifted a brow. Nothing stayed secret for long, but he could have sworn his attorney was supposed to provide him with some kind of confidentiality. Not that it mattered, soon enough everybody would know. “Yeah. I guess I’m back.”
“I never thought you’d leave New York.” Nate sighed. “I guess we all come back in the end, right?”
“I guess so.”
Nate glanced at his watch. “I gotta go. I got a meeting in ten. I just came in to grab a coffee. Hey, you fancy catching up some time? Maybe get some of the old crew together?”
“Sure.” Tanner shrugged.
“Great. How about Friday night?”
“As in this Friday?”
“Yeah.” Nate’s face lit up. “It’ll be like old times. The guys, the booze, the partying. How about it?”
Tanner tried to think of an excuse, but none came. “Sounds good.”
“Excellent. I’ll put the word out. It’ll be fun. Let’s meet at the Moonlight Bar at eight.” He slapped Tanner on the back. “It’s so great to see you, man. I feel like I’m eighteen again.”
“It’s great to see you, too.” Tanner smiled, though the thought of feeling like he was eighteen again made him want to shiver.
Well that was his Friday night sorted. Maybe he should be happy he finally had something to do. Lots of things, if you included the drive-in, and trying to ignore the way he felt about Van Butler.
Van was cleaning out her closet when the front door slammed. She still had old clothes hanging in there – bootcut jeans that had long since gone out of fashion, along with checked shirts and sweaters that she’d never be able to wear again, thanks to the late development of her breasts. She looked up and wiped her brow with the back of her hand. The days had become warmer, any remnants of the fresh spring air blasted away by the warm Virginian sun.
“Zoe?” she called out. “That you?” Their mom had left the house earlier, saying something about a job interview. Not that Van had believed her. Who went to job interviews wearing skin tight jeans and a blouse with two many buttons unfastened?
There was no reply. Frowning, Van stood and shook her hair behind her shoulders, pulling open her bedroom door and looking into the hallway. Zoe’s shoes were on the floor where she’d kicked them off, her school bag resting against the peeling wallpaper.
Van rapped softly on Zoe’s bedroom door. “You okay?”
There was a grunt but nothing else. Van pushed it open, pressing her lips together when she saw her sister laying face down on the bed.
“Bad day?”
Another grunt. At least it was some kind of response.
“Sweetie?” Van said, sitting on the end of Zoe’s bed. “What happened?”
“Nothing.”
A half smile pulled at Van’s lips. “I remember a lot of nothing happening when I was at school. It sucked.”
Zoe turned over, revealing red eyes and shining skin. “Yeah, well it would suck less if I wasn’t such an outcast.”
“You’re not an outcast. You have lots of friends.” Van ignored the ache in her heart. “Did something happen?”
“No.” Zoe swallowed hard. “Apart from all my friends going to see Maroon 5 without me.”
“They’re g
oing to a concert?”
“Yeah.” Zoe’s bottom lip wobbled. “They’re all going with their moms.”
Of course they were. Ten-year-old girls didn’t go to concerts on their own. “Didn’t they think to invite you?” Van asked her.
“Their moms all know each other. They’re friends.” Zoe shrugged, trying to look nonchalant, though her red-rimmed eyes betrayed her. “Their moms don’t know our mom. She’s not one of their crowd. And they’re all so excited. They’re going out on Saturday to buy new outfits and have lunch.” She took a deep breath. “I’m not invited to that either.”
“I can talk to them,” Van suggested, smiling at her. “See if there are any tickets left. I’ll take you.”
“It’s sold out. And anyway, you don’t know them either. It’ll be lame if we tried to tag along.” Zoe picked at the cotton on her bedspread. “I’ll be even more of an outcast than I already am.”
Van gave her a tight smile. Why was growing up so damn hard? She hated the way she couldn’t fix everything for Zoe. It felt like history repeating itself. “It gets better,” she said softly. “Right now, I know it feels awful. But I promise you it won’t always be like this.” She laid down on the bed next to Zoe, smoothing her hair out of her eyes.
“That’s easy for you to say. You don’t have to live here any more.”
“I’m here, aren’t I?” Van pointed out.
“Yeah, but you don’t have to stay. You’ll leave again, and I’ll be left here with mom, and everybody talking about us.”
“What if I don’t go home?” Van asked her. “What if I stayed here and took care of you?”
Zoe’s eyes widened. “What about your job?”
“I’ve got a job here.” Van swallowed hard. “Tanner’s offered me one at the drive-in.”
Zoe turned on her side. The tears on her face had dried up. “Will you be selling tickets like you used to?”
“No. I’ll be setting it up and running it for him.”
“Wow. That’s a big job.” Zoe looked up at her, hope in her eyes. “Are you really going to stay?”