Then I remembered that I’d hopelessly tried to kiss him there, in front of everyone—
The urge to lay back against the table, soak into the wood like a stain, and disappear became very strong. Perhaps if I were lucky, the Unseelie’s magic would still kill me somehow.
“Oh, thank god,” I felt Nikolas before I saw him, his massive body almost barreling me over as he gathered me in his arms.
“Like you are not responsible for nearly killing her twice,” Lindy spat. I was practically limp in Nikolas’s arms.
The world continued to move around me without my permission, decisions being made that I was not a part of.
“She still needs to see a healer,” Adam said as Nikolas pulled away, allowing me to take in where I was. The familiar walls of the cabin greeted me. I had barely even processed entering it.
“They’ll have one at the palace,” Nikolas said. “They have the best in the country.”
“She’s not going to the palace,” Luka argued.
“I will return her—”
“I think she should go,” a third voice added. Mylene. I whipped around to look at her, nearly falling from the table as I did so. She stood in the doorway of the cabin, far away from all the others. Nikolas, Adam, Lindy, and Luka all stood around the table I laid on, a guard that I didn’t know joining them near my feet; he was likely looped in for the hunt. “A week there might suit her fine.”
“She is not leaving without me,” Luka replied, his hands reaching out for my shoulders to steady me as I looked around blearily. “Not for a week.”
“You and Nikolas need to stay here,” Adam corrected. “Someone needs to find what lured her.”
“Fine by me,” Nikolas said. “I’d gladly shoot it.” The only thing he could do since there was no water near.
“Luka is not going into those woods,” Mylene said, and once again I veered around to look at her, Luka’s hands pulling me back when I almost fell forward.
“He’s an Unseelie,” Nikolas said flatly, as if that made Luka an expert at navigating a portion of the woods he’d never before entered.
“Wren can barely walk on a good day,” Luka snapped. “You want to send her up the mountain like this?”
“I will be there,” Adam said, and Mylene nodded at the assertion. She didn’t want me there, not in the cabin.
I stared at her.
“Wren,” Luka asked, his voice at my ear. “You will not go, will you?”
“Oh,” I said, “you want my opinion now?” Mylene’s eyes met mine and she stiffened, looking away quickly. “Strange that I suddenly get a say in my own fate.”
Luka snorted, his hands squeezing my shoulders.
“Do you want me gone?” I asked the room, but my eyes stayed on her, burrowing into her. I almost dared someone to say yes. I think Nikolas might have, if I did not sound so angry already.
“I’m sure that if we were to ask the King,” Mylene began.
“Your king is not around right now to see you lick his boots,” Lindy snapped fiercely, evidently done with the woman. “No matter how low you may sink to the ground to do it.”
“You should go to the palace,” Mylene repeated.
“Then I should like to have Luka with me,” I replied. “So that I may have decent company.” Her face reddened, confirming what I already suspected. She would not let him go. “We’re companions,” I said flatly to her. “Lovers, in fact.”
“If that is what you wish,” Luka’s voice was gentle at my side and tinged with a hint of amusement. He ignored my last statement, I shot him a venomous look.
“Then we will only have three people here,” Mylene said quickly, ignoring the fact that previously there was just one. “It wouldn’t be safe.”
“Then I’ll stay,” I said sharply. “And you can have your hunt and everything else you want.”
Adam groaned, leaning back against the table. “You were attacked by an Unseelie, Wren. There are side effects, repercussions. Can you even remember any of it?”
I kept my mouth shut, averting my eyes. I could remember it, but I didn’t feel too inclined to discuss it. Not with him, not in front of a room full of people. Not when the back of my throat still tasted bitter with magic, which I was sure would only rot further if I were to tell.
“Bring the healer here,” Luka demanded, not pushing any further. “Or are they not capable of travel? If so, I don’t think I would consider them skilled enough to tend to her wounds.”
I think Adam was tired of us. He rolled his eyes, pushing off from the table with a heavy exhale. “Fine then, alright. I’ll spend the night, send for the healer tomorrow and we’ll deal with it then. It’ll likely be a few days wait on the healer depending on how dangerous they think the mountain to be; which is why I am proposing Luka, Nikolas, and I go back in the woods to look for the beast and hasten things along; Mylene, you watch Wren.”
“I would prefer Lindy,” I spat, eyeing the woman once more.
“I would prefer me,” Luka said, evidently not having much faith in the other girl. I suppose I could not say that she struck me as the nurturing type.
I was fairly sure that Adam would have rather just let me die if that were an option. “Fine then; Nikolas, Lindy, and I will go in the woods,” Lindy perked up, “and we will find whatever it is. Luka will stay home, Mylene will watch over them, and Wren will stay in bed on the off chance that she might actually die from all of this. Is that agreeable? Is everyone happy with that?”
“I would prefer that my name goes first,” Lindy said.
The young man was tested beyond his limits. “I would like to go while it is still daylight,” Adam proclaimed as he stormed off.
Chapter Fourteen
“You know, you don’t have to keep this close of an eye on me,” I said, observing the man beside me.
Luka was taking notes about one of his books on the small desk at the bedside while I watched him, the light above us flickering on and off as he sucked on the tip of his pen, thinking about what word to write next. Outside, the world slowly began to grow dark, the hunting party having left a few hours before and having still not returned. From what I knew, Mylene still sat on the couch, waiting for them to return and for me to be forced to leave Luka’s room.
I wasn’t happy with that idea.
“So you say, but you’re the one staring,” Luka acknowledged, pulling the tip of his pen from between his lips, his eyes still trained on the paper before him. He raised the mug beside him to his lips, drinking the awful, bitter tea that Mylene had brewed him.
“I didn’t realize,” I said, rolling onto my back.
“You have been staring for over an hour,” he said dryly, offering the mug to me before grabbing his pen once more.
“I didn’t realize,” I repeated, nearly gagging as I took a sip.
“Mhm,” he replied, his lips tilting upwards, but then halting halfway as he looked to his side. He removed the pen from his ink-stained lips, placing it on the counter as he leaned over. Grabbing the mug from me, he set it down on the desk, placing his hand on my neck and brushing his thumb gently over my throat.
I tried my best not to seize at the action, knowing that it was him, knowing that I was fine. I failed.
“Do you want to talk about it yet?” He asked softly. He hadn’t asked in the dining room, not in front of the others.
“Do you want to talk about yourself yet?” I fired back. He sighed.
“Move over,” he said, rising up from his chair and moving onto the slice of the bed beside me as I scooted aside. There was room to move in his bed, I noted, room that was not allocated to me. Mylene had been kind to him, gifting him the largest room and the largest bed. The thought made the bitter taste in my mouth even more sour, even as he laid in the space beside me, his skin close to mine but not touching.
That small distance between us felt like a mile.
He’d indulged me too much, he’d ruined me. And now he was pulling away. Now he was not mi
ne, now we were—
“Alene is dead,” he said hollowly, and I jerked around to face him, taking in his flat, empty expression. “She passed away a month ago, she was only a year older than me.”
Alene, the reason we were here. Alene, the girl who had showed him magic, who had transformed his mirror. Alene, the woman who I once thought he was in love with.
I knew so little of her, and yet the way he said her name had so much meaning behind it. I had always been too afraid to ask.
“I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you would want to discuss it,” he said. “And I didn’t want you to see me like that, I didn’t want to appear vulnerable.”
“Why?”
“Because you like to fight,” he said with a hint of amusement. “And if I showed you that, what if you didn’t want to fight anymore? What if you didn’t want me?”
“I like you,” I admitted, not willing to discuss the depraved depths. If he knew how much, how long the Unseelie’s form had indicated, I wonder what he would say? I wonder what he would say if he knew that his face was the one that had choked me. “What happened to her?” I asked.
“I’m not ready to talk about that,” he said, “not yet.” He turned to me, his hand reaching out again, cradling the side of my neck, brushing against the place where my pulse raced. “What happened to you?” He repeated.
“You’re just supposed to take care of me,” I said. “Not interrogate me.”
I couldn’t tell him. Not now.
“Okay,” he said, his hands moving to my shoulder and gently pulling me into his side. His arms wound around me, holding me tightly. Quietly, he repeated, “okay.”
And I knew. I knew what was happening, I knew what he was doing—and I didn’t know how to fix it. I didn’t know why I had done it, let myself be taken out into the woods. I didn’t know how I could have stopped it. But I did know in his mind I was almost another Alene, another brush with death that he couldn’t fight.
I knew that I was terrified. When I closed my eyes, he would be there again, the one choking me. I knew that I still didn’t feel right, that in the back of my head I could hear something, something unfamiliar, calling to me. I could hear the voices in the woods.
“You look stupid when you cry,” I said, not caring to look. He probably wasn’t actually crying, but still hurt. Still thinking of Alene, of how I’d almost joined her. “I hate when I upset you, almost as much as I hate that I care when I upset you. You should look less pathetic.”
“You look worse when you cry. Very pitiful. Your nose runs too much, and your face turns dark red,” he informed me, and I hiccupped a laugh as he said, “You’re not very attractive when you cry, it almost makes me want to convince you to stop.”
I kicked him in response, a small, swift jab to his shin. “Almost? You cannot stand it when I cry, you once told me it was unbearable, and I should know to walk away when it begins.”
That seemed to bring him back, making his hand curl around mine. “I was sixteen,” he said. “And though that is a shoddy excuse, I didn’t not know a better way to communicate with you that I did not enjoy it when you were upset. I was young, and not graceful in my flirtations,” his nose wrinkled at the idea before he shook the thought away, another memory taking its place.
“Have you ever been graceful?” I asked.
“Have you ever been observant?” He fired back.
“Only when it helps you the least,” I said with a grin, looking to him.
His eyes lingered on my mouth, almost drinking it in. He was fond of my smile, I think, fond of moments like this—where we were both vicious, yet tender. “Run away with me,” he said, and I was brought back to only a few weeks prior when we were packing the tent. “Forget the copies, leave Whynne, leave the forest. We don’t need a plan.” He wanted to go so badly.
“And what would Mylene say? Who is Mylene to you? You certainly can’t leave her,” I said, that lingering stab of jealousy surfacing.
He jerked away from me, his upper lip lifting. “I don’t care about her,” he growled. “That’s all I can say.” He shook his head, settling back in beside me, “she’s her sister, Alene’s. I didn’t expect to see her. There’s not much to say beyond that, not from me.”
I didn’t need any further explanation. “You love me,” I said, because Nikolas was wrong, I knew it. “You’d call me irrational if I said the same thing, if I even so much as thought of leaving Whynne and making you come with. But when it’s your idea, you think it’s brilliant.”
“Whatever’s out there will kill you,” Luka said, the anger in his face faltering. “And you will willingly go… What lured you into the woods?” He asked.
“Strange sounds,” I said, leaving out that I could still hear them, that they echoed in my eardrums at that very moment, growing louder and louder. I wondered if it was daring enough to call right now and test the hold it had placed on me.
Luka likely wondered if I was losing my mind. “Tell me the truth,” he said, looking over at me.
“That is the truth,” I gritted my teeth.
He raised an eyebrow, not believing me. A small inkling of fear resonated in me.
“Please don’t,” I said quietly. “Do not compel me,” my eyes shut, and all of a sudden he was moving far too fast, taking in my face and pulling away. I didn’t know whether I wanted him to go, or if I wanted to grab him and make him stay.
“Something tried to charm you,” he said quickly, and I knew that he was looking at me, his eyes wide open as he stared. “Not something lesser, because you would have resisted that, and not a typical monster—Wren.”
“Please don’t,” I continued, the noise in the back of my head beginning to get louder.
“Wren,” he repeated, reaching for me. My eyes shut tighter, afraid to see him so impossibly close again. I heard him exhale, a rasping sound escaping him as he took me in. He knew, or if he didn’t, he had some idea.
I needed to get away.
“What did it show you?” He asked.
“Don’t make assumptions, Kinsley.”
“I know what it is,” he replied. “What did it show you?”
“You can’t know what it is,” I said suddenly, sitting up to look at him. “That’s impossible.”
“Is it?” He asked. “Because I feel like I am coming to a conclusion. I think I could make an educated guess, maybe narrow it down. What did it show you? Or, more importantly, who did it show you? Was it someone you loved? Winry, perhaps?”
I glared, shaking my head at him. “Kinsley.”
“Laurent,” he tried then. “My dearest, darling Wren. My love.”
My eyes snapped wide open as I recoiled from the name, my heartbeat thundering in my veins as my hand flew to my neck to cover it. His mouth fell open in response, his back straightening as he stared back at me. He knew.
“Wren,” he began too late, I was already kicking my feet off of the side of his bed. “Wren!”
“I’m going to my room.”
“No,” he said quickly, his hand wrapping loosely around my wrist in a way that was so similar to before that I froze, the fear welling up in me again. I hated it, the fact that I couldn’t control the response. “Wren,” he said again, and I turned to face him. “Tell me. I need you to let me know, I won’t let you run from me.”
It’s not him, I reminded myself. It wasn’t him. Why wouldn’t it stick? Why couldn’t I fully accept it? The proof was visible in the purple scars atop his ears, they were plain as day. I just had to convince myself.
His eyes were wide as I crushed my mouth to his, barreling him over so his back touched the bed. My hands fisted in his collar, holding him to me, trying and failing to remember him and only him. It was hard to believe it when he pushed me away, his hands gently pressing at my shoulders.
Alarm resonated through me as I pulled away. Maybe I was wrong, maybe Nikolas was right. Maybe there was more than I knew, and he didn’t feel the same, maybe he never had—
“You’re meant to be laying down,” Luka whispered, and suddenly I was the one on the bed, his body looming over me. “How are you to heal if you do not rest?” He asked quietly. His lips were on mine again; soft, gentle, and firm. I could taste him, that hint of him lingering on my tongue and driving out the bitterness. I was warm underneath him, comforted.
This is Luka, I reminded myself. This is him.
“I apologize, Mister Kinsley,” I said, breathless. “Thank you for thinking of my health.”
“Someone has to,” he replied, “since you don’t seem to.” His hands lingered on the side of my face, the frantic, feverish pace I had set, slowly becoming more intimate. “You heard my voice,” he summarized. “That’s what drove you further in. Don’t lie, I’ve been reading up on the area.”
“I thought it was you.”
“I was in the house,” he said, caressing my jaw. “Nikolas took off without telling me, and Lindy was furious that he left without her. I didn’t know until she was done swearing at the woods, and by then Adam was already driving up. I wanted to go, but he was halfway convinced that you were trying to run.”
“I wanted it to be you,” I said. “The thing in the woods, I desperately wanted it to be you.”
“I wish it was,” he said, his body hovering over mine. “I would have found you.”
“You sound so sure.”
“I always find you,” he said, his lips touching just beside my ear. “I will always find you-- but don’t take that as an encouragement to do this again.”
I smiled.
We did not hear the party return for a few hours, long after night had fallen. Their loud, booming voices carried through the narrow window of Luka’s room and bounced off the walls, awakening me from my position laying atop his lap and making Luka startle slightly as he was pulled from the pages of his book. From the corner of my eye, I could see a hint of red amongst the darkness outside.
They spoke in low, clipped voices, their underlying grumble audible as they neared. I couldn’t make out exactly what they said, not behind the thick glass windows that the cabin sported, but I could understand enough from the way that they were speaking. They hadn’t found what they were looking for, not yet.
Quill and Cobweb (The Chronicles of Whynne Book 2) Page 12