Then, as suddenly as the orgasm had hit me, all of that electric energy drained right out of my body. While I generally came down from that erotic high gradually, like a song that faded slowly out at the end, this time it was completely different. One minute, every muscle in my body was clenched around Colton, and the next, they were all as limp as overcooked spaghetti noodles.
My legs lost every bit of strength in them first, and seconds later, my arms followed. I was a limp doll in his embrace.
“I got ya, baby,” he whispered in my ear as he pulled me even tighter against his chest. “I got ya. Don’t worry.”
His words hit my heart like a dagger. They resonated with me, all the way down to my soul. What a relief it would be not to worry. And what a wonderful reason to be given that sweet relief. Colton had me.
I thought about all the things that entailed. That he loved me. That he would take care of me. That he would protect me. That I could depend on him, no matter what.
And, yeah. Those things were true. My heart had always known it. It had taken my head a while to catch up. But I wasn’t sure that that would change anything. If Sadie was that upset about her dad, well her stepdad, moving on, there was no way she would be ready for me to move on…especially with her other dad. And that, by far, was the most heartbreaking thing of all.
Chapter 29
Bella
“Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but about how good ya bounce.”
~ Papa Duke
“Hey, ladybug, whatcha doin’?” Sadie was sitting in the middle of the family room, a box beside her and papers strewn all around her.
“I found these in my closet.” She lifted up a paper. “They’re letters from Papa Duke to Grandma Hazel.”
“Sweetie, those are private.”
“Hey,” She dropped her hands on her lap. “You’re the one that put me on punishment. I’m just trying not to die of boredom.”
I’d decided that for punishment for sneaking out of her grandparents’ house and flying across the country alone she was grounded from all electronics for two months, until school started. And that included television. The only thing she was allowed to do was call and text back and forth with her best friend Natalie. But no YouTube, no Snapchat, and no Netflix. Those were her big three. She hadn’t really felt the pain of it the first week before Colton left because she’d been spending so much time with him, but since he’d been gone shooting the “getaway” for the show, she was definitely feeling it for the past two weeks he’d been gone.
The good news for her, and for me, was that Colton was due back today. His flight landed in an hour.
I lifted my hand and rubbed my finger and thumb together. “Do you know what this is?”
She rolled her eyes.
“It’s the world’s—” I started.
“Smallest violin,” she finished. “I know. That wasn’t funny when I was eight and it’s still not now that I’m twelve.”
“You’re not twelve yet. Not for a few more weeks.”
She ignored my specification and continued sorting through the papers.
“Some of these talk about you and Colton.”
“Me and Colton?” That had to be wrong. “But Grandma Hazel died a long time before Colton was my boyfriend.”
“Well, maybe he was writing a different Hazel then?” Sadie handed me a few letters.
I looked at the date. It was seven years after she died. I flipped to the second one and it was four years after she died. “How many of these are there?”
Her eyes grew as large as saucers. “A lot. I think he must’ve wrote her every day.”
Those words echoed in my mind. “Oh my gosh.” My hand covered my mouth as tears sprang to my eyes.
“What? What’s wrong?” Sadie popped up like a Jack in the Box.
“Papa Duke wrote these to Grandma Hazel after she died.”
Sadie’s face scrunched like she was sucking on a lemon. “Why?”
I sniffed. He told me once that when he was in Germany during the war, he wrote her every day because it made him feel close to her, and he said that nothing felt real to him until he told her about it.
I leaned down and started sifting through the letters. I found dates as soon as a month after she passed away. “He must’ve started writing her again after she was gone.”
“That’s so romantic,” Sadie sighed. “He sounds like he was funny, too. He called you and Colton moonshine and a jar.”
“What?” I wasn’t even sure Papa Duke knew who Colton was. Whenever I’d talk about him, he’d always say, “Oh you mean…” and start naming all eight Briggs brothers.
Sadie grabbed one of the papers in my hand. “See. Look.”
It read:
My Dearest Love Hazel,
The summer has been a hot one. Thank goodness for bought air. I don’t know how we got along without it.
Miss Bella has been happier than a pig in mud. She’s still seeing that McCord boy. Those two are like moonshine and a mason jar. They belong together. I see how he looks at her, like he would go to the moon and back just to make her smile.
I know that look because it’s the same way I looked at you. Still do. I have that picture that you always fussed about because you didn’t like your hair, sittin’ on my nightstand. I still give you a kiss every night before I go to sleep. You’ll always be my goodnight kiss, my sweetheart. I’ll love you now and forever.
Yours always,
Duke
The tears that had been hanging on the ledge of my lids decided to jump and rolled down my cheeks.
“And there’s more. See.” Sadie flipped to the next page.
My Dearest Love Hazel,
That old furnace is up to no good again. I spent the better part of the afternoon wrestlin’ it, and I think it’s finally got the better of me. Looks like it’s Duke: 0 Furnace: 1
I gasped. I’d always done that in my head. I’d given things scores, I never knew it was because Papa Duke did it, too. But now that I thought about it, I remembered him saying things like Duke: 2 Vacuum salesman: 0 after he’d send a door-to-door salesman on his way. Or when he’d be gardening, if he pulled up a nasty weed that had given him a run for his money, he’d say Vegetation: 0 Duke: 4.
My vision was blurry as I continued reading.
Miss Bella still has stars in her eyes for the McCord boy. They think I don’t know that he sneaks over at night on his bike and they run out in the field to catch fireflies. I would tell ’em that I’m on to them, but what’s the fun in that?
He loves her somethin’ fierce, so I’m not worried about it. He’s a good boy and I know he’ll grow into a good man that will take care of her, and she’ll take care of him just like we took care of each other.’
I do have to say, my ears are gettin’ tired, she’s been talking about him so much I asked her if she had an off switch. I also like to pretend I think he’s one of Dolly and Walker’s boys, I go through the whole lineup. I like to give her a hard time. She gets that same little twitch in her nose that you had, it’s like she’s a little piece of you right here on earth.
Although, if you were here you’d probably swat me with a rolled up newspaper for teasing her so much. But I would take all the whoopin’s you handed out if I could just have one more day with you my love, just one more hour. Sometimes it hurts so bad not being with you, I think my heart is giving out so it can go home, to you. My heart misses its home.
Yours always,
Duke
I sat down on the couch and wiped my face that was now streaming with tears.
“Mama, I’m sorry. I’ll put them away. I didn’t think it would make you sad.” Sadie was frantically trying to clean all the papers.
“No,” I shook my head. “It’s okay. I just…I miss my grandpa. And I never knew he felt that way about me and Colton.”
Sadie sat next to me and put her arms around me and laid her head on my shoulder. She always hated seeing me cry. When s
he was in the hospital, or sick in bed at home, I used to wait until she fell asleep and then I would sit beside her and cry silently so she didn’t hear or see it.
“Papa Duke thought that you and Colton would be together forever. He said you were soulmates and that that kind of love only comes around once in a lifetime. He said that he thought you both had enough smarts to see that and not let it go, not like other knuckleheads he’d seen.”
I laughed through the tears. Yeah, that sounded like Papa Duke.
Sadie lifted her head and bit the inside of her lip before asking, “Do you think you and Colton will ever be together again? Natalie texted me that Heather left the island yesterday and was on E! this morning saying they broke up before they flew home because they were better off as friends.”
“Yeah, I know.” I grinned. “He and Heather were never really together. They just said that for the show.”
“Seriously?” She looked shocked.
“Yeah, Colton never really wanted to do the show in the first place and when Heather saw that he wasn’t really into her or anyone else, she went and talked to him and they decided that he would pick her, but really they’re just friends.”
“Oh. My. God. Can I tell Natalie?”
“I don’t know, you have to ask Colton if that’s okay.”
“So…” she prompted.
“So…what?”
“Do you think that you guys will ever be together again?”
I knew this conversation was going to come up someday. I’d been dreading it. I knew that the most important thing was making Sadie feel safe and secure. But I didn’t want to lie to her.
“Ladybug, you don’t have to worry about that. Okay? I promise. You’re what’s important. To both of us.”
She looked at me like I was speaking another language. “Why would I worry about that? That would be the best thing to ever happen to me.”
“What?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “You’ve been so upset about your dad getting engaged—”
“Yeah, to a girl that graduated high school a year ago. That’s skeezy and disgusting. But Colton’s my dad, and you loved him and he loved you so much.” She held up the papers. “Papa Duke said that he was going to go into the attic to get Grandma Hazel’s veil to give to you because he knew you’d be walkin’ down the aisle with that boy.” Sadie did the same accent that she used when she was making fun of me.
“You want us to be together?” I asked, needing to make sure that’s what she was saying.
“Yes! How many more ways do I have to tell you? Yes! I want you to wear Grandma Hazel’s veil and marry him.”
I wrapped my arms around her and crushed her to me.
“Mom, I can’t breathe.” She tapped her hand on my shoulder like a fighter in a hold did. She called it the “hug tap out.”
I let her go and excitement bubbled up inside of me. “I love you so much, ladybug.”
“I know you love me. But the question is, does he know you love him?” She pointed to a picture that must’ve been in one of the letters. It was of Colton and I at the river, we were sitting on a rock facing each other with our foreheads touching. We were so young, but it was easy to see even then how much we loved each other.
“I’m going to tell him.” I assured her. “As soon as he gets home.”
“No!” Sadie clapped her hands together excitedly. “Let’s go to the airport. We’ll surprise him!”
I just stared at her for a minute. I wasn’t sure if there would be cameras there. With the news that he and Heather had just broken up, I didn’t want to make any bad press.
“Stop overthinking it, Mama.” Sadie pulled my arm so I stood. “It’s a grand gesture! If he loves you half as much as Papa Duke thought he did, he’ll love it.”
She was right. He would love it. Because he didn’t love me half as much as Papa Duke thought, he loved me so much more.
Chapter 30
Colton
“Don’t worry about the mule, just load the wagon.”
~ Papa Duke
There were cameras in my face and people asking me questions about Bermuda, about Heather, about cheating rumors, about whether or not I would do another reality show as I walked through the airport. But I didn’t respond. I didn’t slow down. I had one mission and one mission only: to get home to my girls.
The past two weeks had felt like two years. I missed them more than I ever thought was possible. I hadn’t been able to eat. To sleep. The only part of my day that I felt like myself was when I was Facetiming with them. Thankfully, Heather was so distracted fielding offers with her new publicist and agent that she didn’t mind that I’d been such poor company.
The sliding doors opened and a rush of air blew over me as I stepped out into the hot Texas day. I was home. Finally. And I was staying home. Which was wherever my girls were. If they moved back to Portland, then that would be home. If they moved to Timbuktu, then I was going to need to look into what kind of farming they did there. I didn’t care who wanted me to do a show, I wasn’t doing it. I was done doing things to make other people happy at the expense of my own happiness.
Over the past two weeks, I’d had a lot of time to think about the concerns that Bella had brought up after our roll in the hay. She’d said that Sadie was so upset about Owen and that there’d been so many changes in her life that she didn’t want to add one more thing to the list.
I’d agreed to her plan then. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that kids are happy when their parents are happy. And I truly believed that Bella was her happiest when she was with me. I sure as hell knew I was my happiest when I was with her. So, it might take some time. Some getting used to. But, somehow, someway, I was going to convince Bella to give us as shot, a real shot, and I would get the blessing of our daughter, even if I had to use Cara, who was apparently her favorite aunt, to do it.
I shifted the strap that had slipped down my shoulder up and squinted as I walked down towards the parking structure. I was so focused on ignoring my surroundings, of tuning out all the people and the cameras, that I almost missed the people I’d put the blinders on for.
Bella and Sadie were on the other side of the street, waving their hands and holding signs. I smiled so big I was surprised my face didn’t split in half as I jogged across to them, dodging the busy traffic. Two cars honked at me as I was, technically, breaking the law, but none of that mattered.
When I finally reached them they both jumped into my arms and I felt the calm that only they could give me spread through me.
“We missed you!” Sadie exclaimed.
“I missed you both so much!” I held them so tight, worried that this was a dream and if I let them go, they’d disappear.
“I can’t breathe,” Sadie mumbled.
“Sorry,” I loosened my grip and set them both down on the ground.
Sadie’s brows furrowed as she looked between Bella and I. “You guys really need to figure out how to hug people without suffocating them.”
Bella and I looked at each other and smiled. I didn’t think either of us had any interest in figuring that out.
“Mom has something to tell you,” Sadie pushed Bella towards me then clapped her hands together. “And it’s soooooo good.”
“Here?!” She looked down at our daughter like she was crazy.
“Yes. Here.” Sadie confirmed.
“What’s going on?” I looked between them, my smile still plastered on my face.
“Um,” Bella licked her lips and wiped her hands on her jeans the way she did when she was nervous.
My smile slipped. Had they come here to tell me that she and Owen were getting back together? Was that why Sadie was so happy?
“Sadie and I were talking and she wants…I mean she found these letters from Papa Duke that he wrote to my Grandma Hazel after she passed away and they said all these things—”
“You are so bad at this,” Sadie interrupted. “Mom loves you and she wants to marry you we
aring Grandma Hazel’s veil. She didn’t want to say that before because she thought I would be upset. But, I’m not! If you guys got married it would be the best day of my life.”
My eyes shot back to Bella who had a sheepish look on her face. Her left shoulder lifted as she smiled. “What she said.”
“You want to marry me?” I’d never heard sweeter words in my life, except maybe that I was Sadie’s father.
“Yes.” Her smile grew bigger.
“We’re getting married?” I just needed to hear it one more time.
“Yes!” Sadie shouted.
I picked them both up again and squeezed them tighter than I had before, but this time Sadie didn’t complain. She held me just as tight, and I knew in that moment that I would never let them go…and I would never have to.
Epilogue
Bella
“Looks like she swallowed a watermelon seed.”
~ Papa Duke
One Month Later
“Are you sure?” Colton stared down at the test.
I handed him the other three that I’d taken, all reading the same thing. Positive. “I’m pretty sure.”
He bent down and placed his hands on the sides of my still-flat belly. “Hi. How are you doing in there? Do you have any idea how much your mom and I love you?”
I ran my fingers through his hair and my eyes misted up as I looked at the ring on my left hand, the one that Colton had slipped on my finger one week to the day after Sadie and I met him at the airport. He hadn’t wanted to waste any time and Sadie had been all about a rushed wedding.
We got married in the town square, in the exact spot where we’d shared our first kiss. The entire population had come out to see it. I’d worn my Grandma Hazel’s veil and a dress that Sadie, Cara, Jade, and I had picked out. It was simple and perfect.
Just like my life. The first time in my life I’d read one of these tests, I’d passed out and been terrified. I was a teenager. I was alone. Now I was a married woman. I had an entire town of people that were going to be over the moon about this, not to mention a twelve-year-old that had wanted a little brother or sister since she was big enough to hold baby dolls.
Claiming Colton (Wishing Well, Texas Book 5) Page 19