by Holly Martin
‘Weirdly it seemed easier that way. They already knew, I’d told them in the secret blog how I felt for you.’
‘What was the secret blog?’
‘It was my declaration of love to you. I couldn’t tell you, I was so scared of losing you. But I wanted the followers of our blog to know what was really happening, how much I loved you, why I was doing all of this. I will show you every single comment I wrote on there and you’ll end up thinking I’m some weird stalker when you read how I like to stroke your hair, how I watch you sleep. I’m sorry that I told them first instead of you and I’m sorry that the first time you heard the words was in front of a crowd of people. I thought that’s what you wanted, the huge declaration. You said that back in New York, that the woman wants the all-consuming ‘shout-it-from-the-rooftops’ kind of love. I wanted to give you that.’
I had said that and he’d taken me literally. Maybe I would have appreciated the proposal more if I’d only heard the words before.
‘I meant every word I said back there. I do love you. I love the way you make me feel when I’m with you, safe, like I’ve finally found a place to call home.’
‘Oh Harry.’
Tears welled in my eyes and he brushed them away.
The lump in my throat was huge, my brain willing to understand whilst I desperately wanted to throw myself into his arms. I’d lived with the doubt and the uncertainty for so long I was finding it hard to accept the truth. He’d loved me all this time – but then what about the women he’d been with? How could he sleep with these women when he loved me?
‘But all those women…’
Harry looked away, clearly embarrassed. ‘I never wanted to fall in love with you, with anyone. I couldn’t let myself get hurt again, so it was just easier to pretend I didn’t feel that way about you and carry on as I’ve always carried on – moving on from one woman to the next, never staying long enough for either of us to form any attachments. But every day I spent with you, I fell further and further in love with you. I didn’t cancel my job in America because of Jack, but because I was in love with you and I couldn’t bear to leave you.’
I was the woman he fell in love with. All this time and I never knew. He never said, but I understood why. I’d never told him either, for fear of losing him, and he had so much more to lose than I did.
‘I rejected you, in front of thousands of people.’
He grinned. ‘You told me you loved me, it was the best kind of rejection – believe me. After one hundred proposals, to finally hear those words was the best moment of my life.’
I felt so sad all of a sudden. ‘One hundred proposals, one hundred missed opportunities.’
I buried my head into his chest, screwing my eyes up tight. Every time he’d proposed I’d felt my heart breaking a little over the emptiness of the gesture – but each time he had been hoping I would say yes, each time he had been disappointed. And every day he had come back for more, more heartache and pain. I wanted to sob for him.
He tipped my chin up to face him again. He trailed his hand down my cheek, grazing my lips with the softest of touches. ‘I love you so much Harry.’
He leaned his forehead against mine, his grin splitting his face.
‘Which one was your favourite? The big ones, the small ones? I’ll recreate it again and ask you properly this time.’
‘The one where I said yes.’
‘But you never said yes. I would have remembered that.’
‘It was a stormy night, we were standing on the beach alone, wrapped in each other’s arms…’
He grinned. ‘Oh! That one.’
I nodded. It was a big ask. He’d asked me a hundred times and I’d never said yes before, but I needed him to ask me one more time.
Harry looked around. ‘Here, really? This is your perfect proposal?’
‘I don’t need all the bells and whistles, I just need you.’
He gathered me in tighter against him. The sky lit up around us and thunder filled the sky. He pushed a wet tendril of hair out of my face and my heart roared in my chest.
He grew serious as he looked down at me.
‘So, I have no gimmicks or flowers, I don’t even have a bag of chips to sweeten the deal, but… I love you, I will always love you and I will spend every day trying to make you as happy as you make me. Will you marry me?’
Sheer joy coursed through me and I leapt up to wrap my arms round his neck. Caught up in his coat, the movement caused him to take a step back – unfortunately he took me with him and we toppled over into the sand. As we hit the floor, my mouth was already on his, picking up where we left off the night before with that incredible, passionate, needful kiss. I moaned against his mouth as he rolled on top of me. He tore his mouth from mine, trailing kisses along my neck.
‘I’m taking that as a yes,’ he murmured, in between his kisses.
I laughed. ‘It’s a yes. Yes, Yes, YES!’
I felt him smile against my throat. ‘Why don’t you save the shouting for when we’re back in our hotel room?’
I pulled his head back up to look at me and for a few seconds we just stared at each other. The meaning in that look was very clear. Suddenly there was a mad scramble to get up, but being trapped in the confines of his coat made it very difficult. Harry quickly undid the buttons and released me and we staggered to our feet.
He took his coat off and wrapped it round me, doing up the buttons as he got soaked himself.
‘Harry you’re getting wet.’
But he was still grinning inanely. ‘You have no idea how crazily happy you’ve just made me. The rain can soak me to the bone and I still wouldn’t care.’
He swung me up into his arms and started running back towards the hotel.
I laughed. ‘What are you doing?’
‘I think I’ve just found my perfect proposal – the one that ends in sex.’
‘Oh, I’m pretty sure all proposals end that way.’
‘Well, you’ve got a hundred proposals to make up for then.’
‘I’ll see what I can do.’
I laughed again as he ran even faster.
We approached the hotel and I could see our bedroom window was already lined with the jam jars filled with candles. We burst through the door and I could see the other jars filled the room, sending flickering lights across the wall and ceiling.
Harry put me down, instantly kissing me again as he peeled me out of my wet clothes and I helped him out of his, then he scooped me up and lay me down on the bed, lying down with me, kissing me so softly.
‘Are you sure you want to do this now?’ he asked. He looked around the room. ‘I could make it more perfect for you, flowers, music…’ He trailed off as I kissed him.
‘Are we going to be disturbed by a barber shop quartet leaping out of the cupboard?’
He laughed and shook his head.
‘An overzealous Japanese photographer?’
‘No, it’s just us, I promise.’
‘Then it is perfect.’
Harry kissed me again and as he rolled on top of me he showed me just how damned perfect it was.
Proposer’s Blog
After one hundred days, sixteen different countries and a hundred and one different proposals, Suzie McKenzie finally said yes. I’m not allowed to say what it was that happened in that last proposal. Suzie thinks it might damage our business if people knew she succumbed without so much as a bag of chips or a greasy kebab. But I can give all you would-be proposers one piece of advice. Tell her you love her, tell her every day until she knows it and believes it. Then tell her every day anyway. If you’re incredibly lucky she’ll love you back. I wish every single one of you reading this a very happy ever after.
And if words are not enough, then you know where we are.
If you loved One Hundred Proposals, turn the page for a sneek peak from Holly Martin’s The Guestbook. Warning; prepare to be hooked….!
1st - 8th March
Rosie and Jake Hamilton.
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Saturday:
Thanks so much for the flowers and champagne, what a lovely surprise. The cottage is beautiful and Chalk Hill village is so cute. I’m so excited to be here. We’re on our honeymoon, one long delicious week with my beautiful hubby. Yesterday I married my best friend. I really am the luckiest girl alive.
Jake says we can go for long walks along the beach and explore the beauty of the Norfolk Broads. Personally I don’t think we’ll be leaving the house much. We’ve been here six hours already and we’ve only really seen the bedroom! We’re getting a takeaway tonight, another excuse to stay in bed.
Can I just say for the record now, so it is here in black and white, I love my husband soooooo much. He won’t read this so I’m safe.
Mrs Rosie Hamilton. (Mrs!! I don’t think I’ll ever tire of that)
Sunday:
I’m in love, did I mention that. I can’t stop staring at the ring. It just hasn’t sunk in yet. I’m married!! And to the most marvellous man as well. Jake caught me watching him sleep last night, bet he thinks he’s married a right weirdo. Still there’s no escape for him now.
We actually made it to the beach today. The dunes are beautiful. We had a picnic and even had a dip in the sea.
Mrs Rosie Hamilton
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WON’T READ THIS? WHAT YOU FAIL TO REALISE IS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU TOO, EVEN THOUGH YOU SNORE.
JAKE HAMILTON. (HUSBAND TO CHIEF SNORER)
I do not snore.
YOU SO DO.
Monday:
Annie Butterworth, what a shock! With a name like Mrs Annie Butterworth I was honestly expecting some grey haired granny with half-moon glasses who would bring round homemade lemon drizzle cake. I didn’t expect someone so young and pretty. Jake thought you were a ghost at first, seeing you run through the garden with your long white dress and blonde hair flying theatrically behind you. It was quite the entrance.
It was great talking to you today. Where is Mr Butterworth? You both must come round for dinner one night.
Love Rosie
AS ROSIE IS USING THIS AS HER OWN PERSONAL MESSAGE BOARD IT’S DOWN TO ME TO SAY THAT TODAY WE HIRED A BOAT. SPEED BOAT WOULD BE TOO MUCH OF A GLAMOROUS TITLE FOR IT. IT WAS A ROW BOAT WITH AN ENGINE STUCK TO THE BACK. THOUGH EVEN CALLING IT AN ENGINE WOULD BE A STRETCH. IT MADE A LOT OF NOISE AND PROPELLED US MARGINALLY FASTER THAN A SNAIL. I HAVEN’T LAUGHED SO MUCH IN AGES.
WE ENDED UP ON SOME BIG LAKE AND FED THE SWANS OUR LEFT OVER PICNIC. THE BOAT THEN FAILED TO START AND WE WERE QUITE LITERALLY UP S**T CREEK WITHOUT A PADDLE.
THANKFULLY SOME LOVELY GERMANS CAME TO OUR RESCUE AND TOWED US BACK TO WHERE WE LEFT THE CAR. THEY DIDN’T SPEAK A WORD OF ENGLISH, OR AT LEAST WERE NOT WILLING TO. THOUGH I DIDN’T NEED TO BE FLUENT IN GERMAN TO KNOW THEY WERE TAKING THE PISS OUT OF US ALL THE WAY BACK.
JAKE
Tuesday:
Hi Rosie, it was lovely to meet you too. I’m more than happy to come round with homemade lemon drizzle cake if that’s what you were expecting. I don’t have half-moon glasses but I can wear my reading glasses if that will work. As for the ghost, I was always cast as the angel in the school plays, being a ghost would have been much more exciting.
Mr Butterworth - Ha, Nick would have hated been called that - died two years ago so he won’t be joining us for dinner. If the weather stays fine how about you two join me for a barbeque tomorrow night?
Let me know if you want some eggs, Suzie and Doris, the chickens, are laying them faster than I can collect them.
Annie.
Annie, I’m so sorry, I really need to engage my brain before I speak. I’m such a nosy cow. I just assumed that as you were Mrs Butterworth that he was still around. I’m sorry.
Rosie
Rosie, I just saw Jake, he said you wanted some eggs so I’m just popping them in the fridge. Please don’t worry. I’m not in the least bit upset or offended by you asking where Nick is. It’s been two years and though I miss him terribly, I really don’t mind talking about him.
ANNIE, A BARBEQUE WILL BE LOVELY. WE ARE TAKING A BOAT OUT TO BLAKENEY POINT TO SEE THE SEALS TOMORROW AND THEN GOING FOR A DRIVE DOWN THE COAST. I IMAGINE WE’LL BE BACK AROUND SEVEN. I’LL BRING BURGERS AND CHICKEN, THAT’S IF SUZIE AND DORIS WON’T MIND.
JAKE
Wednesday:
We went out to see the seals today. It was amazing; we got so close to them. Jake took some fantastic pictures, but he was always good with a camera. Many of them were swimming around the boat as curious about us as we were about them. Off to a barbeque round Annie’s now, hopefully I won’t put my foot in my mouth again.
Rosie
WATCHING ROSIE GET SO EXCITED ABOUT THE SEALS TODAY, I THINK I FELL IN LOVE WITH HER A LITTLE BIT MORE.
Thursday:
My head hurts.
Annie is quite possibly one of the loveliest people I have ever met in my entire life. I didn’t stop laughing all night. She looks so sweet and innocent in her pretty flowery dress and huge Jesus sandals, looks like she goes to church every Sunday and probably sings in the choir. So it comes as a bit of a shock when the stories she comes out with are so funny and sometimes even filthy.
We must have polished off at least two bottles of wine and too many bottles of cider to count between us. That cider was potent, some obscure local variety I think. By the end of the night Jake was a mess and I was even messier. Annie, however, looked as fresh as a daisy.
Did I put my foot in it? Yes probably about a hundred times. I felt like John Cleese in Fawlty Towers when the Germans came; ‘Whatever you do, don’t mention the war.’ I just couldn’t stop mentioning her husband, death or funerals. Luckily Annie saw the funny side.
I WAS NOT A MESS, AT LEAST I DIDN’T THROW UP IN MY SHOE THIS MORNING. GREAT NIGHT ANNIE, THANKS FOR THE AMAZING CIDER, WE NEED TO GET HOLD OF A FEW BOTTLES BEFORE WE LEAVE.
JAKE
Just popped in to change the light bulb in the bathroom. I’m definitely getting a change of wardrobe after that lacklustre description ;-). I don’t go to church apart from weddings, christenings and funerals. Oh no, I mentioned the funeral word!!! I can assure you I wasn’t feeling as fresh as a daisy this morning, my tongue felt drier than Ghandi’s flip-flop. I’ll get you some of the cider to take back with you.
Friday:
After recovering from our excessive hangover yesterday we spent the day in the garden reading. Jake wears his big glasses when he reads, he thinks it makes him look clever, but he looks more like a nerd. A loveable nerd though. He was reading some big tome on codes used in WW2. Geek! Another day on the beach today. Wells-next-the-Sea really is the loveliest place in the world, the beaches are spectacular.
GEEK? NERD? HOW DARE YOU. BESIDES I DON’T THINK I LOOK CLEVER I KNOW I AM CLEVER. NEVER MIND THE FACT THAT I FELL ASLEEP FOUR TIMES READING THE CODE BOOK. IT WAS THE HANGOVER THAT WAS HAVING AN ADVERSE EFFECT ON ME. ANYWAY, WHAT WERE YOU READING, THE THIRD BOOK IN THE FIFTY SHADES OF GREY TRILOGY WASN’T IT? PERVERT.
I’ll have you know the Fifty Shades Trilogy has a very good storyline. And yes you are a complete geek and a nerd but I still love you.
Saturday:
Annie we have had the best time. We are going to come again soon. We don’t live that far away so we’re going to drive down when you have some free weekends.
YES, I CAME HERE FOR A QUIET WEEK AWAY AFTER ALL THE STRESS OF THE WEDDING, BUT WE’RE DEFINITELY GOING TO BE COMING BACK ON A REGULAR BASIS. WILLOW COTTAGE IS BEAUTIFUL. THANKS SO MUCH FOR MAKING US SO WELCOME.
**********
8th - 14th March
Oliver Butterworth. Black
Saturday:
I’m here to kill someone and I’m not leaving until I’ve done it.
Oliver Black
Sunday:
I’m thinking of using a scythe, with a jagged serrated edge. Though I don’t want my victim to die too quickly, it needs to be slow and painful, it needs to be bloody. I want her to see her blood drain out of her, slowly, agonizingly fe
el her life force ebb away. I want her to beg for her salvation. I want that tough hard exterior to crumble in the last pitiful minutes of her pathetic life. I want to see her cry.
My best laid plans continue to go awry. As devious as I am in trying to catch my prey, she is as cunning at evading me. I almost respect her for it. Almost.
Oh Olly, you do make me laugh. It’s good to have you back. You do realise how this will look don’t you, or is that your intention? I’ll have the police on me for harbouring a criminal. If they come for me, I’m taking you down with me. There’s no honour amongst thieves.
Annie x
Careful Annie, or I may have to kill you.
Oh please do, I’ve been begging you to kill me off for years. The bloodier and messier the better. Could you chop off my head and tear out my innards? Could you gouge out my eyes and keep them about your person as a memento? You could have a whole box of eyes left over from your victims. Oh and could you write some message on the walls using my blood? My brain could be the full stop. I’d love that.
I bet you would you sicko. Now leave me alone. I came here for some peace and solitude, not to be bothered every five minutes by the dodgy landlady next door. If you disturb me again I really will consider ripping out your heart and letting you watch as it beats feebly in my bloody hands.
Promises, promises. Come for dinner tonight, don’t shut yourself away for the whole week, I’ve missed you. If you come I promise to be good and quiet for at least a day.