by Leigh Walker
“Hi, Honey.”
She whinnied at me, a friendly sound.
“The torch has to go—give it here.” He brought it to the stable, and the flames sizzled as he put it into a bucket of water. With the torchlight gone, it was pitch-black, but I could hear Honey breathing. For some reason, that comforted me. She put her nose close to me and made a snuffling sound. I absently patted her as my eyes adjusted to the darkness.
“She’s happy to see you.” Anthony adjusted her saddle then climbed up. He held out his hand for me.
“I’ve met her before?” I asked as I climbed up and settled in behind him.
“Many times. She quite prefers you, I think.”
I held onto Anthony as he clicked the reins and Honey started off toward the wall. We reached it quickly, and Anthony hopped down. He lifted a large bolt then slid the heavy door open. We rode away from the castle and into a forest, leaving the protection of the fortress walls behind. Both the horse and the vampire seemed perfectly at ease navigating through the trees in the middle of the night.
I’d never ridden a horse in my life, or so I’d thought. But the feel of the saddle and the great power of the animal beneath me were familiar. Honey gave me comfort, even as the dark forest and my darker thoughts did not.
I was leaving the kingdom. It was real, decided. I’d barely begun my adventure, but I’d made the choice to return home.
I might never see the prince again.
“D’you think I’m crazy for doing this?” I asked Anthony.
“For going home?” he asked.
“For leaving him.”
“Dunno, Tor. You have to keep your own counsel about that.”
I nodded. There was nothing left to say.
We rode on in silence. It was difficult to tell how much time had passed. After what seemed like an hour, we came to the edge of the forest and entered a vast field. The sky opened up above us, a wide swathe of indigo blue streaking into blackness. The stars sparkled brilliantly, more of them covering the sky than I’d ever seen. The waning quarter moon smiled down, bathing us in white light. But the beauty of my surroundings did not stop the aching of my heart. I felt as though I’d left something very important behind.
I had a sinking feeling I knew exactly what it was.
More time passed. We rode through the field and into a low valley. It was still dark when we reached the lake.
“Here we are.” Anthony slowed the horse, and we came to a stop near the beach. “Off you go, then.”
I climbed down, my body stiff from sitting for so long and from the cool night air. I eyed the water. Its surface was black and immobile in the moonlight and looked more like solid glass than liquid. “Do I just wade in?” It didn’t look the least bit inviting.
“We usually walk out toward the middle.” Anthony brought the horse to the tree line and tied her there then walked down the beach, stretching his arms and back. “I would go in with you to show you where to go, but I’d freeze to death riding back.”
I nodded. “I’m sure I can figure it out.”
“You’re going to be cold.” Anthony jerked his chin at the water. “But it’ll only last a few minutes.”
Shivering, I wrapped my sweater more tightly around me as I stared at the water. It was definitely more lake than pond, stretching toward the mountains and tall trees bordering it. “So I just…go in and go under? What happens then?”
“Once you’re underwater, hold your hands out beneath you. It’s very odd, and you can’t see anything, of course, but at least it’s shallow. When you feel the bottom, you’ll touch stone. Feel around it until you find the edge. Then hold onto that and pull yourself down—it’s the tunnel. Swim into it, and it’ll pull you through.”
My body started quivering, something beyond a shiver. “And I usually accomplish this when I’m in a trancelike state?”
“Yes—it’s quite simple. The water really isn’t deep, Tor. You’ll be fine.”
I nodded, trying to calm myself. “And once I come out on the other side… I won’t remember anything?” It seemed impossible.
“Every time Dom’s made me and Mistress Olivia go through, we remembered everything. But each time we’ve checked on you in your world, all we’ve gotten in return is a blank stare. Dom won’t even talk to you when he goes through. It only confuses you. He just checks on you.”
The image of him floating outside my bedroom window came back to me again. He’d put his palm against the glass…
“And it’s been the same thing every time you come through to the kingdom,” Anthony continued. “There’s nothing—no recognition, no understanding. You’re shocked every single time you learn about the existence of vampires. It’s rather comical, actually. I do love giving you a good jump scare.” He chuckled quietly.
“It’s not funny.” I burrowed into my sweater. “And it doesn’t make any sense. The prince is somehow ready to marry me, though I’m basically an amnesiac every time I come through?”
“Ah, back to the prince again.” Anthony gave me a sideways glance. “You fall in love with him each time, you see.”
I swallowed hard, misery welling up inside me.
“Dom’s never forgotten a thing,” he continued. “So yes, he’s more than ready to marry you. I expect he’s been wanting to make it official for some time.”
“But what if we got married and I got called back? Wouldn’t it break his heart to lose his wife?” I was trying to find an upside, any upside, to my abandonment of the prince.
“I suppose so. But I think he was secretly hoping that the marriage bond would change things, that it would somehow change the course of fate.”
I stared out at the water, a hundred different emotions running through me. “Do I really fall in love with him every time I come here?”
“Aren’t you in love with him now?”
I frowned at the water. “I—I don’t know.” But my answer tasted bitter, like a lie.
“Well then.” Anthony shrugged. “I guess you’d best get back.”
I blew out a deep breath. “I guess so.”
He nodded stiffly. “Safe travels, Victoria.”
“Ah, so you’re mad at me too.”
He arched an eyebrow. “Why do you say that?”
I waded into the water. It was freezing. “Because when I’m your friend, you call me ‘Tor.’ When I’m pissing you off, it’s ‘Victoria’ all the way.”
“Ah, I’m not mad—just disappointed, I suppose. There was so much promise this time.” Anthony chuckled again. “And I hope you don’t wait the normal six whole months until you come back and see us. I’m not sure I can handle the foul mood Dom’s sure to be in.”
“Oh, you’ll be fine. You’ll both be fine.” I tried to keep my voice light. “Maybe he’ll find a nice blood slave to occupy him.”
“You don’t mean that, Tor. And you shouldn’t say things you don’t mean.”
“You’re right. Please keep that Alexandra away from him. She’s much too good-looking.” I blew out a shaky breath as the icy water numbed my calves. “Goodbye, Anthony. I appreciate your help.”
“You’d better have meant that.”
“I did.” My teeth started chattering as the water engulfed my knees then my lower thighs. I looked back at the beach. I’d walked out quite a ways. “I think I’m here?”
“Yes, you’re good,” he called.
“Ant?”
“Yes, Tor?”
“Can you please tell Dominic I’m sorry?”
He nodded. I could barely make it out in the dark.
“Thank you,” I whispered. Then I took a deep breath and held it.
I lowered myself into the water.
25
Woke
Once I was underwater, I held my arms out beneath me, just as Anthony had instructed. They scraped the bottom almost immediately, and I felt smooth stone partially covered by silty sand. I kept my palms flat and moved them along the surface until I found the edge, th
en I wrapped my fingers around it. The tunnel. I just had to make it through.
I gripped the edge with both hands and pulled myself farther under. The water was somehow deeper than I’d thought. I opened my eyes but saw only murky blackness, so I felt around until I found the curve of the interior—the ceiling of the passage. My breath would only last so long. With a push, I propelled myself through, keeping one hand above me, tracking the smooth stone. The tunnel was very brief, I remembered. But unlike when I came through to the kingdom, no light was waiting for me on the other side.
After a few kicks, my palm reached the end of the tunnel. Is this it? Have I gone through? The water wasn’t any brighter, but the passageway had ended. I swam up, hoping to break through quickly, and felt a twinge of panic as I reached above me and found only more water. My lungs burning, I kicked harder and swam toward what was hopefully the surface. Then I broke through, splashing, spluttering for breath.
I looked around wildly, disoriented, until I realized that it was shallow enough for me to stand. I rubbed the water out of my eyes and saw that I was out in the middle of the pond. Home. I’d made it.
It was nighttime here too. I could see the electric streetlights. The same moon rose above me in the sky, but on this side, its smile seemed to mock me.
I shivered, my soaked clothes dripping as I waded to the nearest bank. I climbed out onto the muddy little beach littered with plastic bags and empty cans among the exposed tree roots. After I wrung my sweater out, I made my way carefully back toward the gate.
I was shocked to see my coat still lying off to the side on the embankment. I grabbed it and greedily pulled it around me, hungry for warmth. I searched my pockets with shaking hands. My cell phone, the flashlight, my pepper spray, the letter, and the picture of me with mom and Iz—they were all there. I clicked on my cell phone.
12:05 a.m. I’d been gone for only five minutes.
I stood there, hands shaking. How is that possible?
But then I realized it wasn’t the only crazy thing.
I remember. I remembered everything.
Jaw gaping, I looked around. Have I ever experienced this before? I didn’t think so. How did it normally work? Did I stumble out of the pond and somehow make it back to the Dixons’ in a trancelike state? Did I sleepwalk back into the neighborhood and climb into my bed? What happened to my wet clothes? How did I explain it to the Dixons, let alone myself when I woke up the next morning?
Turning toward the road, I realized that in a few short minutes, I could be in a clean pair of flannel pajamas, safe in bed. I could get up and go to school the next day, eat lunch with Katie, and ask her if she’d talked to Carlton Craney lately. Then I could finish my application to the state school and finally ask for those recommendations. I had choices.
I took out the picture and traced my mother’s face with my finger. Mom wanted a lot of things for Iz and me. She wanted us to be responsible, self-sufficient, and to work up to our full potential.
She also wanted us to be happy.
As I stared at the gate and the water rushing beneath it, I thought about my time in the kingdom. I could look at it a couple of different ways. Maybe I’d left an adventure behind, or perhaps I’d dodged a bullet—or a vampire bite. Either way, I’d also left Dominic behind.
My heart twisted as I thought of him back in the kingdom. And me back at home.
Looking toward the road, I knew I should give my life a chance. I should do what was right for me, what was best. But how do I know what that is?
At eighteen, I’d already lost a lot. Too much. I clung to the picture, missing my mother and sister so badly that it physically hurt. When I’d first felt like that—when I first lost them—I’d been surprised that I hadn’t actually started spontaneously gushing blood or that my heart hadn’t burst. Instead, I’d had a panic attack. It was my mind’s way of showing me that of course I physically hurt. Of course I wasn’t okay. Anthony’s words came back to me: “Don’t underestimate the power of your mind.” I wouldn’t, not ever again.
But what about my heart?
I’d come back home because I believed I needed to live life on my own terms. I had to discover what that meant for me. I didn’t want to be written into fate’s wildly woven tale, one with a shotgun marriage, vampires, and magic, not to mention a brewing uprising.
I wanted to write my own story. After everything, I owed myself that. I needed to honor my mother’s memory by choosing my life. To be sure, I would make mistakes, but I would learn from them. That was the best I could do, and that was the most she could ask of me. It was the most you could ask of anyone.
I turned and faced the gate again. Nothing in me wanted to go back to the Dixons’, with the twins whining and Mr. Dixon hiding in the bathroom. And although I loved Katie, discussing Carlton Craney, Snapchat and our SAT scores were pretty boring compared to the prospect of vanishing vampires’ brains and fighting off the enslavement of all humankind.
Not to mention Dominic.
I missed Dominic.
Shivers that had nothing to do with my wet clothes tore through me as I remembered the feel of his lips on mine, the weight of his muscular arms around me. How cold I always felt when he went away. Of course I could find a boy to kiss at home. But why would I do that when there’s only one person I wanted?
Why would I do that when there was only one person I’d ever wanted?
I looked down at the photo again. Mom, give me a sign. Tell me what to do. It wasn’t just about a kiss—it was about my future. It was also about my heart. I waited but felt and heard nothing, just the rushing of the water and the humming from the streetlights.
The minutes ticked by. I stood, shivering, my coat wrapped around me. Nothing happened.
I waited some more. The stream waters kept rushing, and the lights kept humming. The moon watched me from its place in the sky.
Finally, I looked down at the picture again. I get it. I hear you.
When the universe tried to teach you a lesson, you’d best pay attention. So with the stillness all around me, I went quiet and listened to my heart, to my gut…to my mind. There was only one thing left in this world that I wanted, and now I knew what that was. Though I couldn’t remember the past, I could move forward into the future. My future.
When it was my choice, everything became so much clearer.
I had no idea if I could ever make things right between Dom and me. I had no idea what going back to the kingdom would do—to me, to him, to fate. But I had to try. I took my coat back off. I folded the picture, put it into my trouser pocket then stepped down the embankment.
I walked into the stream, heading once more toward the gate.
26
Open The Door
Three…two…one…
I followed the tunnel and was grateful to see light coming through the murky water. I moved more quickly than last time, as I was more sure of myself. I made it through the tunnel and swam up, breaking the surface, and I gasped for air. Once I got my balance, I wiped the water from my eyes and looked around.
I was back in the kingdom, and I hadn’t forgotten my last visit. I recognized my surroundings perfectly. The sky was brightening to the east, but the moon was still with me. I was in the same world. It was a different time, to be sure, but still… I was the same, and so was the moon. I grinned up at it.
Anthony and Honey were nowhere to be seen. I’d expected as much, but disappointment still flooded me. I was eager to get back to the others, but I would have to walk back to the castle. It would take all morning and then some.
My clothes had been sodden before, but they had become completely ruined. I took my sweater off and wrung it out. Shivers racked my body, making it spasm. Water ran down my body in rivulets. The dank smell from the pond was everywhere. Still, I waded to the beach and immediately set off down the path toward the castle.
As I trekked across the field, I glanced again at the quarter moon. If my calculations were correct, it would be full a
gain in just over three weeks. Although I’d traveled back through time to see him, I still had no plans to marry the prince. We would have to figure it out together. But eighteen was simply too young to wed. Not to mention that my future mother-in-law basically wanted me to be an in-room dining option!
I wrapped the soaked sweater around me and rubbed my arms. My body was sore from the long night, but I had no choice but to press on. I hadn’t quite figured out how I would get back into the castle, but there was an advantage to being so far away.
I had plenty of time to figure it out.
The hours dragged, and my calves burned. My heavy boots were still wet, and my feet squished uncomfortably inside them, blisters forming amid the moisture. I tried not to think about my discomfort and focused instead on the sun rising in the sky and the tall grass lining my path across the open field. If I just kept going, I would get there eventually.
Hooves suddenly thundered behind me. “I say there, hold up!” boomed a male voice I didn’t recognize.
Oh no. I looked around wildly for a place to hide, but I was surrounded by nothing but open land—the tree line was way too far to reach. Cursing, I ran from the path and threw myself down into the tall grass. I had no Dominic to protect me now, no Anthony.
My heart beat wildly in my chest as the rider got closer. “There, girl, stop!” the voice commanded, and his horse whinnied. They galloped to a halt on the path, not far from where I was hiding.
I pressed myself against the ground, throat tightening and pulse soaring.
Footsteps crashed through the field. “There’s no use hiding, silly—I can smell you. Fee Fi Fo yum.”
Crouching, I got ready to run, but the guard was already above me. He was tall and had blond hair, a narrow face, a square jaw—and a blazing set of bright-blue eyes.
“Well, hello there. This must be my lucky day.” His fangs glinted in the sunlight as he smiled down at me. “Just to smell you is heaven on earth. Praise the gods for this gift!”