I lifted my head so he could slip his arm under my neck. We lay side by side kissing and talking about us and the future. I had an overwhelming feeling of love spilling from my heart. I loved this boy and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him I thought I could change him by just loving him. Laying naked in the moonlight was great but a little cold, Hunter cupped my face with his hand and kissed me one last time before we got up, dressed and headed back home.
We were just in time to meet his parents for a” night cap”. We all went into the kitchen to help with the hot chocolate. Annie, Hunter’s mom, gave me a strange look, “Darling did you cut yourself, there is blood on your neck?” Oh shit, we did not even look! I quickly made my way to my room. My underwear was covered in blood. Hunter must have transferred the blood when he held my face kissing me. I took a long hot shower and was getting ready for bed when I heard shouting coming from the kitchen. I made my way towards the kitchen but was stopped dead in my tracks.
It was Hunter and his parents. It was obvious that they had figured out what happened between us. Being a pastor in the church, sex before marriage was a big NO. What hurt the most were the words I heard out of Hunters mouth; “She seduced me, I didn’t want to do this, she is a whore, it is all her fault”
OMG!!! I thought it was amazing, we loved each other and we would be together for the rest of our lives. My heart broke into a million shattering pieces, what was I going to do? I could not phone my parents, my dad would kill me not to mention what he would do to Hunter if he had to find out. I was between a rock and a hard place. I locked my door and cried myself to sleep that night. Very early the next morning there was a tap on my door. What a way to wake up on your 18th birthday, it was by far the worst day of my life!
I was reluctant to open but then I heard Mia’s little voice coming from the other side of the door. She is Hunters baby sister, she was 5 years old. As I opened the door she launched herself at my legs. I bent down to face the little fire I had grown to love over the past year that we have been together. “Why were you crying? Mommy said I must let you sleep, because you are very sad” I wiped the tears that started rolling down my face, how such a little angel could know the pain I was feeling?
I picked her up and gave her a big tight hug; she swung her arms around my neck and was squeezing with all her might. I carried her to my bed and she cuddled next to me. “I love you Cat, you are my big sister, don’t be sad, I will ask Hun to chase all the baddies away”. If only she knew the biggest baddie at that moment was Hunter. A little later Annie knocked on the door letting herself in. She smiled at us and told Mia that Ben was waiting outside for her to go down to the beach. Mia looked at me as to ask if I wanted to go with them, I told her I would be there a little later.
As Mia left the room, Annie closed and locked the door behind her and came to sit on the bed beside me. All I could hear in my head were Hunters words of betrayal. I was waiting for her to accuse me of the same. I was not prepared for what happened next. Annie took my hand in hers, holding it tight like a mother would do for her own daughter; there was love in her eyes not anger.
“My darling Caitlin, you must know that we are aware of what happened between you and Hunter last night”. I didn’t have a voice to answer her so I nodded.
“It is obvious to me that you were a virgin up until last night, I sincerely hope my son was too” she said with a little frown on her face waiting for me to answer. “Yes” I whispered. “As you know we are strongly against sex before marriage, but realise that in this day and age it is very rare that couples wait for their wedding night. I know you love my son, we can see it but you are very young, at 18 you have your whole life ahead of you, be careful!!"
Did she even realize that I only turned 18 that day?
"I know we can’t stop you two from having sex, but you need to make up your own minds, and all I’m asking is that you have respect for us as parents but not under my roof. Please, please use protection; you don’t want to become a mom at the age of 18”.
I sat there, tears rolling down my face. I loved Annie so much. She wiped my tears way and gave me a hug, then left the room.
Following my conversation with Annie, I realized I needed to decide what I wanted to do about this situation. “Do I talk to Hunter about what he said and give him a chance to spin yet another bullshit story? Or do I think like a big girl for once with my head and not my silly heart?” I got up and got dressed, took my iPod and went for a run. Karma was trying to tell me something, Tonight I’m getting over you by Carly Rae Jepsen stared playing.
After my run I got my towel and went for a swim, I spent the rest of the day on the beach reading and playing with Mia.
It was obvious Hunter could read my mind and he stayed clear of me for the rest of the day. At lunch time I headed up to the house, as I got close I heard Ben asking Hunter; “Why the hell did you bring her, if this is how you treat her?”
Ben’s words hit me to me core.
"What? What am I doing wrong?"
"You treat her like shit! What you said to Mom and Dad last night, was bullshit! She is a good girl and God she is hot"
"Hey! Watch yourself, she is my girlfriend, she belongs to me"
I did not listen to the rest of the conversation, I decided that I could not stay with Hunter any longer, it was over. I passed the kitchen and went straight to my room. I called my mom, told her it was over between Hunter and me. I could almost hear a sigh of relief in her tone, but begged her not to tell Daddy. My mom, arranged for me to fly back home, she phoned Annie to tell her that there had been a family emergency.
Hunter and Ben went out on the Jet Ski and weren’t there when I left. I wrote him a note and left it on the kitchen counter.
“Hunter,
I had to go home. It was a great Holiday; please thank your parents for the lovely time.
You and I both know that we have come to the end of our chapter. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I heard what you told your parents last night about me. Thanks for showing me yet again that it will never change, YOU will never change.
‘Fool my once shame on you, you fool me twice shame on me’. I was a fool to believe you loved me the way I loved you. Don’t try phoning me ever again, I will not fall for your empty promises.
I never ever want to see you again, I DON'T BELONG TO ANYONE! Oh and I wish Brent broke more than just your jaw.
Caitlin.”
Chapter 3
Walking out on Hunter was a big step for me, I finally broke the cycle. It was not easy; after finding my letter Hunter was furious. The phone calls and text messages drove me crazy. I was a blubbering mess, my mom lost it, and she contacted Annie and informed her that if he did not stop with the threats that she would have no choice but get a restraining order against him. My mom then purchased a new phone and number.
I tried my best to forget the last year of my life but it was a struggle, if not for my parents and Heather I don't know if I could have done it.
I was packing the last items in my suitcase as my mom and I were leaving for Long-beach in the morning. I had my earphones in and was dancing around my room, to Stronger by Katy Perry when my mom came into my room and tapped me on the shoulder, “Heather is on the phone for you!”
Before I could get a word in she squealed in my ear. “Guess what? I just saw TDD! OMG he looks fucking hot in his army uniform, he can put his boots under my bed any day!”
"You know you are crazy, right?” My mind went back to the day Brent wiped my tears and called me princess.
"Hello, are you there princess?"
“Heather did you speak to him? Where did you see him?”
“We were stopped at a road block by the police and out of nowhere Brent appeared in some sort of camo uniform. He looked me in the eyes for a second and then walked away”
"Oh my word, I would love to see him again, I wondered what had happened to him"
"No I don't know, after Hunter’s parents got him suspended
I heard his mom shipped him off to boot camp."
"Oh, yes I can remember you saying something like that. Hey I had better go, I have a lot more to do and my mom and I are leaving in the morning. I wish you could come with me, I'm going to miss you like crazy"
"Don't worry, we will be together soon enough I plan to come visit. Go have fun, go find a sexy beach bum and fall in love, the proper way"
For my 18th birthday gift my dad gave me the beach house in Long-beach. It was a beautiful white double story house, three bedrooms upstairs; the main bedroom had glass sliding doors that opened up onto a small balcony, big enough for a love seat and a small coffee table. Down stairs was a big open plan kitchen with an island in the middle where the stove was situated. It had another room that I could turn into my studio and a large lounge that opened up to the patio that run the full front length of house.
I have so many fond memories of spending holidays down here. I remember the summer holiday when I turned 16, it was the best holiday I ever had and I spent it with my best friend. My mom and dad arranged with Heather's parents that she could spend the entire summer holiday with us at the beach house.
It was a magical time; we spent most of our days on the beach, where my love for volley ball began.
Heather and I started playing Volley Ball with some of the locals, it was amazing and when we went back to school we decided that we are going to pursue Volley Ball as our sport of choice. We rocked it!
Although I loved the beach house, it was very much my parent’s style. My dad agreed to let me change a few of the things in the house. I told him what I liked and while I was on holiday with Hunter and his family my parents made all the changes. My mom knew what style of furniture I liked and made sure that all was ready and waiting for me when I arrived.
They kept my décor rustic; the main bedroom's walls were a light grey, I had a vintage canopy bed, with a pale blue upholstery headboard and white linen with a dresser to match. The 2 bedrooms upstairs were very similar to mine, all decorated in white and pale blue. My lounge had two couches with white slip covers, light grey cushions and a love seat, no TV. For the first time in my life I felt strong, I was finally doing things for myself.
It was hard getting over Hunter, I really struggled, and I loved him and thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him, but it was not meant to be. Now it was time I lived for myself, move on and start a brand new live with new people and new challenges. It was time for me to define myself, decide what is it that Cat wanted from life, not what people wanted for me.
For so very long I had let Hunter run my life for me, he decided who I was allowed to be friends with, what sport I was allowed to play and what music I should listen to. I could not believe I allowed a man to rule my life like that. He loved to control people and I was an easy target for him.
It was great having my mom with me for the first week. Now it was back to reality, I needed to get focused. But it was lonely, I missed my family and I missed Heather.
I quickly settled into a routine. Every morning I would get up at 5 go for a run along the beach for 2 miles and on my way back I would stop at Simplicity, the health bar for my morning breakfast smoothie on the run. On the days that it rained I would do yoga in my lounge in front of the big open sliding doors, so it still felt like I was on the beach.
I would be at university from 8 in the morning until 2 in the afternoons, if not in class definitely in the library studying.
When I got home in the afternoon, I would either be studying or reading. (I love reading I can't get enough of it at least three books a week and then suffer a serious book-hangover the next day.)
I had set my IPod station up in my lounge, but you could hear it right through the house. Lucky for me my neighbours didn’t mind as long as I didn’t play it too loudly in the evening. They were hardly at home anyway.
Late afternoon I would sit on the beach or on my patio and watch the sun goes down. (That is my favourite time of the day.)
The time on my own was good; I had time to reflect on the past year and realized that I could not let someone like Hunter break me. He might have defined who I was over the last year but sure as hell was not going to control the way I lead my future. I was a good person, before Hunter entered into my life. I took risks, I was a little crazy at times but most of all I enjoyed life and had fun. So why couldn’t I be that person again?
I would define the person I was and the person walking into the future.
Chapter 4
It had been a hell of a week, time to relax and have some fun.
After coming home from class and seeing people having fun on the beach I changed into my white string bikini and my blue sarong. I packed a picnic basket full of strawberries, grapes and a few bottles of water and headed off to my favourite spot on the beach.
After an hour on the beach some of the girls from my class came to join me. We were acting like giggling school girls. It had been too long; I had forgotten how much fun it was to hang out with my girlfriends.
The owners of Simplicity set up volley ball courts just in front of the shop on the beach. They were going to run a competition, to promote the business. A big Volley Ball tournament was held in the area a few weeks ago and everyone was into it.
The winning team would receive a thousand dollars and would be the face of Simplicity.
The girls decided it was great way for us to get together every week. Samantha and I would make up one team and Isabel and Brooke the other. But for this all too happen we would first need to check if we could all play volley ball. The girls did not know that I got “player of the year” for volley ball at school; it was the one place that Hunter was not in control of me … I was good!
I also belonged to a club where we took part at national level. I heard Brooke also played at school level, so it was only Sam and Isabel that was new to the game, so hence the split of the teams. There were not that many people on the courts so we got to play quite a lot, it was great.
After a day of fun in the sun, we landed up at my place, chatting, laughing and just relaxing. I made the girls dinner; grilled chicken wraps, with some pineapple skewers. We sat on the patio eating super and chatting.
I can see this group of girls will be my saving grace and I now realize that my self-esteem really took a knock. I listened to the girls talking about the things they got up to in the final year of school. They had so much fun, they lived their lives to the fullest, I was involved with a prick that kept me away from my friends and all things fun just because he was insecure with himself.
I would never let another guy do that to me again, I was going to have fun, not worry about what tomorrow would bring. I turned up the music, Over you by Daughtry, started to play and we danced the night away. At 2am I kicked the girls out, I needed some sleep, and if we were going to do this volley ball thing I wanted to be prepared. I was very competitive and didn’t do things half way. I took a long relaxing bath; I needed to calm my racing mind. We talked about getting matching outfits for the competition, so first thing the next day we needed to go shopping.
Saturday morning as I got up for my routine run along the beach, I got dressed into my black running shorts, pink tank top with my black and pink Nike sneakers. As I was running past Simplicity, I spotted a black Corvette, I love old muscle cars.
My father did not have a son so I always went with him to the car shows until I started dating Hunter. There I go again bringing Hunter into everything. I need to stop this shit; he is part of my past, no more wasting time thinking of him.
There were a lot of people on the beach with their dogs, I ran to the end of the pier. I stood there for a while I loved the sound of the Ocean. It was amazing. The sound of a seagull squawking above my head snapped me out of my day dreaming.
On my way back I stopped at Simplicity for a breakfast take-away. The Corvette was no longer there, damn I missed it, and I wanted to see who the driver was of that sexy car.
At 8am the gi
rls were ready to go shopping. We all landed taking my BMW; it was perfect weather to put the roof down. At the sports shop we decided that Samantha and I would go for red bikini bottoms and white tank tops and Isabel and Brooke will go white bottoms and red tops. The girls were shocked when I came out of the dressing room with my outfit on and they saw the water fairy tattoo on my back.
“Wow, I never took you for a girl with THAT, when did you have that done?” Brook asked.
“I got this after my holiday from Hell, just before school started this year”
Define Me Page 2