by Matt Rogers
‘It was you,’ Alexis said. ‘Not me. You should be proud of yourself.’
Ava shook her head. ‘Doesn’t change what I said about your son. About your husband. Withdrawals or not…I crossed a line.’
‘Where’d it come from? There must be an origin.’
Ava took a breath. She was no superhuman, but she could control the inner turmoil better than when she was an addict. ‘I grew up in the Midwest. Me and my big sister and our parents in a small town in Arkansas. Dad was…ignorant. Let’s leave it at that. He hated what he didn’t understand, and there was so much he didn’t understand. He read ignorant opinions and watched ignorant news and joked with his ignorant friends. I’ve spent my whole adult life fighting against that conditioning. Making sure my son doesn’t so much as consider that stance. It hasn’t been easy. My sister was smart, went down to Louisiana and married a German as soon as she was old enough to. They had a kid when I was ten. I was stuck in the house with Dad for another ten. Got up and out of there at twenty, came here to Boston. Thought I’d left it all behind. But clearly it’s unconscious. Clearly it runs deep…’
She trailed off.
Ashamed.
She said, ‘I don’t expect you to believe me, but that’s not who I am anymore. It’s what I was trained and raised to think, but it’s not me. I think, when I was withdrawing, I fell back on instinct. There was no pause for rational thought, just pain and suffering and fear. I reverted to my base conditioning. I thought you could rub it all away, but clearly you can’t…’
Another lapse of silence.
Alexis said, ‘I believe you.’
‘Doesn’t make it right what I did.’
‘No. But it doesn’t mean you need to dwell on it. It happened, and it’s done. Focus on now. For example, you can tell me why I’m here.’
Ava hesitated. ‘What—?’
‘You didn’t ask to meet to update me on your life. What you’ve done is astounding but you could’ve told me over the phone. You need something.’
‘I—’
‘Just say it, Ava. Don’t start with, “I only need your advice” or “You don’t have to say yes.” Tell me exactly what the problem is.’
Ava exhaled, tapped her fingers restlessly against the table. The twitching was back. ‘I’m not good at this.’
‘You don’t need to be perfect. You only need to start.’
Ava closed her eyes for a beat.
When she opened them she said, ‘I told you about my older sister who married the German. They have a daughter. My niece, Mary. She’s thirty.’ A soft gulp. ‘I think her life is in danger.’
8
Alexis said, ‘You think it’s in danger?’
A waiter floated over to take orders but she shooed him away, craving privacy.
Ava clarified. ‘Her life is in danger.’
‘She’s in Boston?’
‘No. San Francisco. Silicon Valley.’
‘She works there?’
Ava nodded, distracted. ‘Listen, I think she needs to speak with an investigative journalist from another state. I don’t trust anyone from California right now. Something happened with a board member…I shouldn’t go into detail.’
Alexis hesitated. ‘Okay…?’
Ava sensed her confusion. ‘You told me your brother-in-law works at the Boston Globe. I figured there was no harm in trying to put her in touch.’
‘What?’
‘That’s what you said. Way back.’
Oh, Alexis thought. Right.
She recalled first confronting Ava in an alley after the woman had spewed racist vitriol about Tyrell in the school lot. She’d hit Ava in the mouth, then guaranteed her silence by inventing a story about a journalist brother-in-law who would publish details about Ava’s insults.
‘That was bullshit, Ava,’ she said. ‘I made it up to keep you quiet.’
‘Oh. I see.’
Alexis drummed two fingers back and forth on the wood.
Ava said, ‘I’m sorry. I never should have brought this up.’
‘Too late. Tell me everything you know.’
‘How do I know—?’
‘That you can trust me?’ Alexis finished. ‘Have a think, Ava. You’ll find the answer.’
Ava did think about it, and she nodded her approval. ‘Okay. So. My niece works for Vitality+. She’s their head of research and development. You know…Heidi Waters’ company.’
‘The Forbes woman?’ Alexis asked. She’d caught a news report the other day on the newest Forbes’ 30 Under 30 list. At the top of the pack was Heidi Waters, a twenty-nine year old CEO helming a multi-billion dollar start-up that was poised to revolutionise the caffeinated beverage industry. Alexis usually didn’t care for the news, but she couldn’t resist following along. She and Slater were suckers for coffee, after all.
‘That’s her,’ Ava said. ‘Mary’s been there since the beginning, the early days. Four years now. Mary was always brilliant. Her father’s an engineer, and he guided her toward a STEM degree from LSU. She got the gig with Heidi as a learning experience to get her foot in the door, at some tiny start-up no one had ever heard of. Obviously no one expected Vitality+ to do what it did. It’s a media storm right now. They’re pushing Heidi as this deity figure, a super-genius to rival Jobs and Gates.’
‘You sound cynical.’
‘Because I know what’s really going on. You know about the product they’ve patented, right?’
‘I heard a soundbite on the news. Some vape for caffeine-related anxiety. That’s all I can remember.’
‘Yeah,’ Ava said. ‘I remember Mary giving me the pitch, four years ago. It’s a damn good pitch. I still remember the details. Want to hear it?’
‘Sure.’
Ava took a breath. Then she began.
She said, ‘Eighty percent of U.S. adults consume caffeine daily. And I’m not sure if you have first-hand experience with this, given your lifestyle, but there’s a plague of generalised anxiety across the Western world right now. I’m guessing you learned more about that when you uncovered the extent of the heroin problem. But it ends up being a paradox, right? We’re told that the key to happiness is productivity, working and earning more than our neighbour, building a tidy material life. Raising kids, providing for them, giving them everything they want. But that means working harder, longer, so we pump ourselves full of stimulants to get the job done. Ask anyone if coffee sometimes makes them jittery or anxious and I guarantee you’ll get a one hundred percent resounding “yes” across the board. Right?’
Alexis was no stranger to the occasional jitters. ‘Right.’
‘Heidi invented the solution, and it’s about to come to market. Here’s the pitch: you undergo an intensive medical examination at a Vitality+ clinic near you. They’re about to open one in every major city with all the equipment they need for the brain scans. Then you’re administered a vape-like device with a smoke cartridge that is custom-engineered to your exact neurotransmitter imbalances.’
Alexis raised a hand, stopping Ava in her tracks. ‘What?’
‘Neurotransmitter imbalances. They’re what give you anxiety when you’re sensitive to caffeine. It happens because your brain chemistry is all out of whack. Too much noradrenaline, not enough dopamine. Caffeine ups both, giving you energy and that feel-good sensation, but too much energy and you get frazzled, wired, overstimulated. So Vitality+ analyses exactly how your brain’s screwed up, and their custom cartridge corrects the imbalances. It keeps the adenosine receptors antagonised so you still get the energy boost, but it wipes out the crash, wipes out the jitters. You take a single puff after your morning cup of coffee and you’re guaranteed a smooth, stress-free ride on Caffeine Highway.’
Alexis digested it all, clasped her hands together. ‘I’m not going to lie, Ava. It’s a fucking good pitch.’
‘Coffee is one and a half percent of the national GDP. That’s hundreds of billions of dollars. You invent something that makes the experience better,
guaranteed, you can charge whatever you want for it. There’s more than just billions on the line. I’m not exaggerating.’
‘I know you’re not. So what’s the problem?’
Ava stared across the table. ‘The problem is it doesn’t work. The brain scans don’t do shit. The smoke isn’t custom-engineered. It’s one enormous lie.’
9
Alexis couldn’t disguise her incredulousness. ‘But you said they’re going to market.’
‘Yes. They are.’
Alexis went quiet, realising the implications. ‘Your niece knows. They threatened her.’
Ava stared over Alexis’ shoulder, gazing into space, and Alexis took the time to study her features properly. The transformation was remarkable. It was hard to believe the horrid cake-faced woman with the bleached hair had ever existed. It reminded her of the power of choice, the fact that a series of consecutive decisions had led to the new woman sitting here, her looks and personality entirely overhauled. And that was six weeks. If Ava stayed on this trajectory, where would she be a year from now? Five years? Ten? All that potential would never have found the light if Alexis wrote her off last month, let her succumb to her addiction instead of stepping in and shaking her out of the spiral.
Anyone can change.
Ava said, ‘I can’t believe I’m telling you this,’ as she hunched forward and closed her eyes. After a beat she opened them. ‘Heidi had a board member killed.’
Alexis raised an eyebrow. ‘You’re sure?’
‘Jack Sundström. He was an old Swedish angel investor. He was close with Mary. She never had an emotional connection with her own father, and she moved away from Louisiana early, as soon as she got her degree. Jack was a mentor to her in those early days, a father figure when she didn’t know what she was doing at Vitality+. He helped her stick it out, got her to where she is now. And Heidi had him murdered. I have to assume it was because he was asking questions she didn’t want to answer.’
‘You know this for sure?’ Alexis repeated, downloading information as it left Ava’s lips. ‘Or has he just disappeared? He could’ve been intimidated into radio silence.’
Ava shook her head, her throat spasming as she gulped. ‘Mary traced his phone to Heidi’s office. She confronted her boss, and Heidi mustn’t have seen any other option. She showed Mary a photo of the body. Beaten to death. Face punched in. That’s the way she described it…’
Ava trailed off.
Alexis was ice. ‘Mary told you all this?’
‘She rang her mother. My sister. Right after she left the building that day. Catherine called and told me everything. She didn’t know who else to turn to, and she could hear from our previous phone conversations that…I’d turned a new leaf. Had a clearer head than…before. I’m not sure if she trusted me fully but she didn’t know what to do.’
‘What day was this?’
‘Yesterday. I called you as soon as I heard.’
‘Have you written any of this down?’
‘No. I just remember.’
Alexis stared. ‘Your memory’s amazing.’
‘It’s better when I’m not pumping myself full of dope.’
‘I want to speak with her. Make sure she’s doing the right things to keep herself safe.’
‘I—What?’ Ava said. ‘I was just maybe looking for advice or something. I didn’t think—’
‘You didn’t think I’d help?’ Alexis said. ‘Really?’
She could see memories flashing behind Ava’s eyes. Alexis had needlessly involved herself in Ava’s business and she was a new woman, a new human, because of it. Maybe Ava had thought it’d be a once-off. She hadn’t thought the behaviour was replicable.
But it was.
Ava said, ‘I don’t know what to say. “Thank you” isn’t enough.’
‘“Thank you” isn’t even necessary.’ Alexis sat forward. ‘Give me her number.’
10
First Ava showed Alexis a photo of Mary Böhm on her phone, which made Alexis freeze up.
It was a corporate headshot, bright and clear, infinitely high-res. Mary wore a woollen suit jacket and a white shirt open at the collar. Her smile was broad, all neat white teeth. Intense green eyes, wide, and straight black hair. Alexis took the phone and zoomed in, absorbed the detail. She lifted her gaze to Ava. ‘Are you sure you came to me because you thought my brother-in-law worked for the Boston Globe?’
Ava furrowed her brow. ‘Yeah. That’s what I just told you.’
‘It’s not because I look like your niece?’
‘I noticed that,’ Ava said. ‘But what good would it have done bringing it up? What good does it do now?’
Alexis had to remind herself civilians didn’t think the same. Where Ava only saw a funny coincidence, Alexis saw an opportunity to protect Mary from danger. If it came to that.
She took down the woman’s number.
Ava said, ‘You want to do this now?’
Alexis said, ‘Why not? If you’re coming to me for help, we’re not half-assing it.’ She hesitated. ‘If this is really what you want. If not, go to the cops. I can leave before things get messy.’
Ava lapsed into quiet then finally shook her head. ‘Based on everything Catherine told me, they’ll kill her before the cops sort it out. There’ll just be endless delays with authority. It’s Silicon Valley. Money talks and Heidi’s got a limitless supply of it.’
‘But that’s based on bullshit deals, right? If this entire thing is a sham…’
‘Doesn’t matter. She’s made the deals. She has the money. It’ll take court battles to get it back, so it’s not happening in a hurry. There’s a hell of a lot Heidi can do if she’s really as psychopathic as Mary thinks she is.’
‘Thinks? I thought you told me she was shown a photo.’
‘That’s what she said.’
Alexis digested Ava’s tone. ‘You have reason to believe she might be lying?’
‘No. But this is a little fantastical. Maybe there’s truth to it, or maybe only some truth to it. That’s an important difference.’
She was visibly uncomfortable, shoulders beginning to twitch.
Alexis said, ‘You honestly think she made that up? The beaten body? I assume Jack Sundström is actually missing or you’d see right through this whole thing.’
Ava nodded slowly. ‘There was a small bulletin on the San Francisco Chronicle’s website this morning. He didn’t make it home from work last night. He didn’t take his meds with him. It’s being treated as suspicious. So I think I believe her…’
Alexis said, ‘You’re hesitant to involve me, aren’t you? You think you jumped the gun.’
‘Mmm.’ Ava shrugged.
Alexis said, ‘Don’t worry. I’ll find out.’
She hit: CALL.
11
Mary considered ordering meal delivery, then shook her head and rocketed off the sofa, angry at herself.
‘What are you gonna do?’ she muttered to herself. ‘Stay inside the rest of your life?’
She’d already missed work today. That’d have to be the only proof of her paranoia: going forward, it’d need disguising. There was a way out of this, somehow, but just because she couldn’t see the light didn’t mean she should make things far worse. Sure, she’d spent all of last night in bed riding out a horrendous mental breakdown, and this morning hadn’t been much better, but if she let the fear take control there was no telling when the ride might end, when she’d be allowed to get off.
It was time to reclaim her strength before things got out of hand.
Yes, Jack Sundström had been brutally killed. Yes, her boss was a soulless psychopath with billions of dollars at her disposal. Yes, Heidi Waters would do literally anything in the interest of self-preservation. Yes, Mary knew too much.
But cowering would only seal the deal, give Heidi an excuse to make her vanish. Silence was suspicious. She had to resume her life, no matter what it took, and buy time to figure out how to keep herself alive.
&nb
sp; Running wouldn’t work. Heidi had the resources to find her.
Going to the press wouldn’t work. Heidi would have her slaughtered sheerly out of spite before the story ever made the headlines.
Calling her mother had been a mistake. Any hint of a familial leak, any whisper of word spreading, and Heidi would pounce.
Mary thought, Why hasn’t she pounced?
Probably because her and Jack back-to-back would look too suspicious. His disappearance had already graced the news cycle. There was no word of a body being discovered. It’d be a long time before anything unravelled. He served on multiple boards, Vitality+ only one of a handful of projects, so the spotlight was broad and far-reaching. No one had narrowed it to Heidi.
Mary tore herself away from her thoughts and left the apartment. She passed no one in the halls of the swanky Santa Clara high-rise. The thought of going back to the office was radioactive, but she’d have to do it. It was Friday, though, so she could spend the whole weekend mustering courage. For now, it was important that she go to the café across the road and get a smoked salmon bagel. She couldn’t explain why it was such a big deal, but something intrinsically told her that if she slipped into a negative spiral she’d end up too anxious to leave the house for anything. It was better to step out now before the mortal fear crystallised into a mental barrier. It wasn’t there yet, but it was close.
Her palms became slick and her heart reached her throat as she left the lobby, looking both ways before she crossed.
Sweat down her spine clung to her shirt fabric.
She stopped in the middle of the street and made to turn back.
No.
She corrected course, shuffled into the café and placed her order. The wait was eternal. It felt like she was there forever. She slouched in the corner, positioning herself under an A/C vent in the ceiling to dry her back, staring at every customer that entered and exited. She was sure she was being followed, watched. They could see her discomfort. See her panic. Three separate times she almost left before the staff called her name, but managed to stop herself short each time. Her heart jackhammered now.