by Dana R. Lynn
After a frustrating ten minutes, she had her hair up and the starched white kapp that Julia had given her perched on top. She wished there was a mirror to see herself. She felt like she was playing dress-up. With a sigh, she realized that she had no reason to delay any longer. She went to Bethany’s room to help her daughter get dressed for the day.
It soon became apparent that Bethany thought dressing Amish was great fun. She was going to look just like Kayla. Bethany was bouncing with glee as Annie fixed her hair like Kayla had worn hers the night before. When she saw the little kapp, Bethany squealed and clapped her hands.
“Really? I get my own little hat? I’m gonna look just like Kayla!”
Laughing, Annie put it on her head. “Yes, you get your own little hat. You look like Kayla and like Bethany.”
“Hurry, Mommy! I want to go see her!”
There was nothing more that needed to be done.
Holding out her hand to her daughter, she said, “Let’s go and join the others, shall we?”
“Whee!” Bethany caught her mother’s hand and skipped to the door, pulling Annie along with her. Annie allowed her daughter to drag her down the stairs and into the kitchen. The poor thing had been through a rough few days. She couldn’t find the heart to try and temper her excitement.
“Bethany!”
“Kayla!”
The two girls embraced each other like they were best friends who hadn’t seen each other for months. All the adults smiled.
“Let me look at my Amish girls.” Tyler strode forward, grinning. Annie couldn’t help it. An answering grin tugged up the corners of her mouth. She turned away so he wouldn’t see it. Or see how affected she was by the sight of him. Why was her heart pounding?
“Look at me, Daddy!” Bethany twirled for her father.
Tyler picked her up and cuddled her close, placing a kiss on her bonneted head. Annabelle’s heart melted. Whatever issues they had in the past, she could no longer deny that Tyler truly loved his daughter. What had happened to change him all those years ago?
“You sure do look plain,” Julia commented.
She couldn’t get over the change in Tyler. It suddenly struck her that he was growing a beard. Of course, he had not been able to shave in the past few days. She hadn’t even really noticed the extra growth. But now, as he stood before her in dark trousers and a blue shirt with dark suspenders on, she could see it. He had shaved the mustache that had also started to come in. And sometime between last night and this morning, his hair, which he had always worn on the longish side, had been cut. Not the usual cut, either. He now had the same haircut that Abraham sported. Part of her wanted to giggle. The other realized that it didn’t matter how Tyler dressed or groomed himself, he was still a very handsome man. One that had the ability to make her pulse skip. Even after everything they’d been through.
That was not the way she wanted to be thinking.
The group sat down to eat a light breakfast. After breakfast, the men left to go to the barn. Tyler paused on his way out. He put a hand on her elbow and led her over to the window.
“How are you doing? I have been worried about you.”
She blinked. “Worried about me? Why? I’m doing fine. It was nice to get a full night’s sleep in a real house.”
He smiled, but she could see the worry was still there. “Annie, I’m serious. I know that this is a safe place for us. Even so, I keep thinking of all the close calls we’ve had. Those people coming for me have been relentless. And I am feeling horrible dragging you and Bethany into this whole mess.”
“Hush.” She placed her fingers over his lips. The skin where they touched tingled. She snatched her hand away, face heating up. For a second, she forgot what she had been planning on saying. “I know that we could still be in danger. And I know that I was really angry with you just a couple of days ago. But, Tyler, this mess is not your fault. You didn’t know that your boss was working with criminals. Nor did you have any idea what you were walking into. That’s life.”
Her heart thudded in her chest as the look on his face warmed. “You are amazing, you know that?”
Embarrassed, she decided that they were getting just a little too serious. She placed a hand on her hip and gave her head a saucy toss, which probably looked silly with a kapp on. “Yes, I am amazing, mister. Glad you finally caught on.”
Tyler grinned at her antics. She relaxed a little, happy that she had chased some of the seriousness from his face. Then, before she knew what he was about, he bent and placed a warm kiss on her cheek.
“Oh, I always knew that you were amazing. I was just making sure you knew it, too.”
With a last wink, he sauntered away and grabbed the straw hat that was hanging on a hook by the back door. Then he was gone, off to find Abraham in the barn. Annie stared after him, her mouth hanging open in surprise. Without thinking, she reached up and placed her hand over the spot he’d kissed. It still felt warm.
Julia bustled by, tossing Annie a smirk as she passed.
Annie blew out a breath, hard. She placed a hand on her heart, feeling the heavy beat.
So much for not letting herself be affected by his charm. Oh, she was in so much trouble.
ELEVEN
“I don’t wanna.” Bethany folded her arms across her chest and pouted.
Here we go again, Annabelle thought, frustration beginning to stir inside her. They had been living in the Beilers’ home for a week now. Bethany had been enchanted with the old farmhouse for the first few days. Her first buggy ride had thrilled the little girl. Bethany felt like a grown-up as she helped her mother and Julia with the chores around the house. Annie sighed. She’d never enjoyed helping with laundry and baking so much. She understood it. Bethany must have felt like she was on an extended camping trip. Plus, Kayla, Julia’s daughter, was helping. And Bethany adored Kayla. She also loved the cows and the horses.
And the chickens. Annie was tempted to roll her eyes at the thought. Her daughter had discovered that the chickens didn’t mind being carried around. She had adopted one of them as her own. She’d named the hen Mrs. Feathers.
Julia and Abraham were very gentle and understanding when Bethany would run after the large white bantam and carry her around like she was an overgrown cat. Of course, the line had to be drawn when Bethany wanted to bring the chicken into the house with her.
“Nee, we do not have chickens in the house,” Julia had told her gently when the child first brought her inside.
Annie was sure she’d see a temper tantrum. Instead, fourteen-year-old William had coaxed Bethany and her new pet outside with him. Annie and Julia had laughed about it after they had left the house.
This morning, however, Bethany had announced that she was ready to go home. No amount of pleading or arguing with logic would work. Nor would bribing her daughter. She’d tried everything she could to gain her child’s cooperation, but Bethany wasn’t having it.
“Come on, Bethany. You’ve worn a kapp every day we’ve been here. You know that Kayla and Julia wear one, too. And I have been wearing one, too. You said you liked it. Remember?”
She held out the offending white kapp, the strings dangling over the sides of her palm. Bethany had put on her dress and let her braid her hair. And that was as far as she could get her to budge.
Annie wanted to rip off her own kapp and pull her hair out. A soft knock at the bedroom door interrupted the stalemate.
“Come in,” she called.
Julia opened the door and entered, a smile on her pretty face. Today she was walking around without any stockings or shoes on her feet. For a moment, Annie felt a tug of jealousy. What would it feel like to allow herself to not wear stockings, to allow the scars to show? She remembered Tyler’s words, how he had told her she was beautiful, scars and all.
But was she brave enough? Someday, she promised herself. But not yet.
“Can I help you, Julia?” She smiled back at the other women. Her warm brown eyes were filled with kindness and joy. Julia had been busy. Annie could smell the rich aroma of coffee, and the warm smell of biscuits floated in the air. Her stomach rumbled. It was breakfast time. She’d eat as soon as she convinced her daughter to put on the kapp.
“I wanted to let you know that breakfast is ready. Ty and Abraham have already gone out to the barn. I believe that they were discussing things that they were needing at the market in town. They might be planning a trip.”
Her interest piqued. The market, from all accounts, was a street of small family-owned shops and vendors. It was a popular spot for Amish and non-Amish alike to shop and gather. She’d been wanting to go there herself, just to see it.
She sighed. “That sounds like fun.”
Bethany blurted out, “I don’t wanna wear the little hat this morning. Kayla wasn’t wearing it yesterday.”
Julia smiled, a flash of sympathy in her eyes. “Yes, it’s true that she wasn’t wearing the kapp in the house. But she couldn’t go outside without wearing it. If you want to eat breakfast without it on, that is fine. You will not be able to go and see Mrs. Feathers without it, though.”
Bethany’s pout grew less pronounced. She looked outside several times. The lure of the lovely summer weather and the chicken were strong inducements. Annie bit back her smile. She had a feeling the chicken was going to win.
Finally, Bethany raised her big blue eyes to her mother. “Can I eat breakfast without the little hat, Mommy, please? I will put it on before I go see my chicken.”
Annie nodded, flashing a grateful smile at Julia. The other woman nodded. Happy again, Bethany ran out of the room, calling Kayla’s name.
“Thank you.” Annie sighed. “She doesn’t understand why we can’t go home.”
“It’s not an easy thing.” Julia paused. “You know that I was in witness protection, too?”
Annie nodded.
Julia continued. “My son witnessed a gang shooting.” She nodded when Annie gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. “It was terrifying. The gang members were literally in our apartment. We had to hide in a bathroom. When we went into witness protection, I worked as Abraham’s housekeeper. He had left the Amish community and married but returned once he was a widower. I know how it feels to be running for your life with children who are resistant to the Amish way of life.”
“Did Kayla—”
“Actually, it was William. But he grew to appreciate Abraham and the life we have here. And I thank God every day that he is no longer involved with the wrong people.” She sighed. “It’s been a while since I have talked about my past. That’s one of the harder things about being in the program.”
“I know.” Annabelle frowned. “I am dreading someone asking me questions about my life before I came here. It’s hard, knowing I can never tell anyone outside of the program anything about my real past. I can’t talk about my parents or my brother—” Tears filled her eyes as she thought of her family.
“It can be difficult. Remember, though. Everyone inside this house understands what you’re going through.”
Reflecting on Julia’s words, Annabelle walked with her to the kitchen. It was nice to be around people who understood. Just to be on the safe side, she decided she would still refrain from talking about her family. It hurt, knowing that no one would truly know who she was while she was in the program.
Tyler would. She blinked at the thought. No matter how long they were in the program, as long as they were together, she would have one person who knew who she was. One person who would know the past she couldn’t talk about. She shrugged away the thought. But as she followed Julia downstairs, her steps were lighter.
The children were already inside the open kitchen. The table was long and wooden, obviously handcrafted. So were the chairs. They had sat to eat. Following the Amish custom, the children and the women bowed their heads to say a silent blessing over their food. Annie still felt odd not praying out loud as she had done at home with Bethany.
The biscuits were light and flaky, absolutely delicious. Especially drizzled with warm honey. The children had just been excused when the men entered the house. Both men took off their wide-brimmed hats and hung them up on the hooks right inside the door. Ty had continued to grow a beard, but no mustache, as a sign that he was a married man, though in name only. Annie had trouble getting used to it. She had known him for over eight years. In that time, he had never worn a beard. Not even a goatee.
“Good morning, Julia. Annie,” Ty greeted the women as he sat himself at the table. Abraham joined them shortly, a mug of hot coffee in his hands.
“Ty and I have been planning, isn’t that right, Ty?” Abraham’s face, which had been rather serious, lightened considerably when creased with a smile, the way it was now.
“Yes, indeed we have.” Ty winked at Annie. “We have things we need from the market. What say you, Annie, my girl, to a trip to the market?”
“Could we?” She hadn’t meant to squeal, but judging from the grins on the other faces, they didn’t mind. She hadn’t left the property since they’d arrived. She was beginning to feel a bit closed in. A trip to the market might not be much, but it would get her out of the house for a while. Then her enthusiasm dimmed. “But I’m not sure. I don’t know that I want to bring Bethany—”
“Leave her with Kayla, William and I,” Julia interrupted. “You need a break, Annie. This would be perfect. And we really do need some items from the market.”
She bit her lip. Could they really do it? “But what if we are recognized? I don’t want to lead anyone back to you.”
Abraham nodded. “We have talked about this. You cannot spend your time imprisoned here. But I understand your concern. Wear your own clothes. That way, if you are recognized, no one will be led here. I will take you in the buggy and drop you off before the market. That way you won’t be seen leaving here Englisch.”
The more she considered the idea, the more excited she became. To leave the farmhouse, to go into town, even if only for an hour, would be wonderful. And she had to admit, if only to herself, she wanted to have some time away with just Tyler. Time where she could explore the idea of whether or not she could allow herself to truly give him another chance.
“Can you wait for fifteen minutes?” She spun to see the smile break across his face like a ray of sunlight.
“I can even give you twenty.” He winked, and her stomach fluttered.
She spun again to face Julia. “You don’t mind? Really?”
Julia laughed and waved her hands at Annie. “Go. We will watch the child.”
She needed no other encouragement. Forgetting to be dignified, she sprinted up the stairs. Moving quickly around the bedroom, she gathered her clothes and changed. She decided to leave her hair up and her kapp on for the time being. She didn’t want to give herself away to anyone looking inside the buggy.
When Tyler saw her in her normal dress, but with a kapp on her head, he smiled so wide the corners of his eyes crinkled. That was a smile she hadn’t seen in a long time. She had missed it but didn’t realize it until this very moment.
Tyler looked more like himself in his jeans. “I guess I should wear my hat in the buggy so we match.”
She giggled. “I feel like a teenager. This is ridiculous.”
His smile faded, but his eyes remained soft. “It’s not ridiculous, Annie. You have been a trouper through all of this. You deserve a break.”
They both did. She just hoped they could get one.
* * *
When was the last time he had heard Annie laugh? It had been too long. He was enjoying the silly mood she was in on the way to the market. The buggy swayed slightly due to an uneven patch in the road. Their shoulders touched. He wished he could stretch his arm across the back of the seat and wrap it around her
shoulders.
He didn’t think she was ready for that. Actually, he wasn’t sure he was ready for it, either. The feelings that were starting to rise were messing with his judgment. The past week had been amazing. The simplicity of the Amish life had allowed them to spend time together as a family without the distractions that normally surrounded them. Even while they were sharing a table with Abraham’s family, he could gradually see her relaxing more this week. Bethany had been able to be a kid again, and he had seen the pleasure glowing in Annie’s eyes and smile as she had stood watch over the little girl that held both of their hearts in her small hands.
But as much as he enjoyed this respite, he could never quite forget that somewhere, men were searching for him. Because of his job, he was again in a killer’s sight. He just didn’t know how he’d walk away from her again when this was all over. Being in her presence, day after day, he could feel her inching her way back into his heart.
As the buggy drew closer to town, a conviction grew in his chest. Annie needed to know the truth about what had happened. Every time he saw her wearing stockings when Julia walked around her house barefoot, he was filled with guilt. He knew that he was the reason that she hid her legs.
He could never forget that.
Would she forgive him? He hoped and prayed that she would, but honestly, he didn’t know what she would say, or do. He had hurt her so many times in the past, he wondered if this would be the one that would break their connection for good.
The buggy jerked as it halted. They both jolted forward slightly. They had arrived. Annie carefully removed her kapp and set it gently on the seat. She reached up and unpinned her braid so that it swung freely past her shoulders. He took off his hat and set it next to her head covering. Both of them put on baseball caps, pulling them on securely.
Nervously, they exchanged glances. This was it.
Getting out of the buggy, they both cast furtive glances around. No one was about.