“Why?” Harlow demanded. “Because they killed—”
“Because they threatened to hurt me.” Bren’s announcement dropped into the room, creating a heavy silence.
“Oh shit,” Seb muttered.
Maybe he should have been embarrassed by the show of weakness, at the fact Seb, Harlow, and Bartlet now knew exactly how he’d let himself become compromised by her. But he’d never been one for regrets, had always owned his actions, good and bad. While things between them had turned out exactly how he’d feared, he’d walked this path, and there was no point wasting time being ashamed or wishing for different choices. He’d simply face up to now like he always did and continue forward.
“What did you tell them?” Bren asked softly.
“I told them what the rebels had planned. That they were going to attack the Holy City in a few hours.”
Bren’s reaction was almost imperceptible, and if he didn’t know her so well, if he hadn’t spent every hour of the last few days with her, taking in every nuance of expression that crossed her face, he wouldn’t have noticed the change.
She understood what he’d done, but without knowing whether they were being watched, neither of them could inform the other three men that he’d misled the CSS forces.
“It doesn’t matter.” Seb clasped him on the shoulder in a show of solidarity. “Hell, I would have told them myself if I’d had any information to give.”
Bren’s expression tightened. “None of you should have said anything, no matter what they did to me.”
There was no mistaking the pissed off tone lacing her voice. But what the hell did she expect? He’d bet his last dollar that if their roles had been reversed, she would have said or done anything to save him.
Or maybe she wouldn’t have. Christ, he didn’t know. She’d already proven to be selfish in not following his orders and landing them here in the first place. Maybe she would have been more interested in saving her own skin or found it easier to put duty before her feelings because she didn’t care about him in the same way he cared about her. Or, like her brother, she was just that shallow kind of person.
Whatever the case, he was done with it.
“Noted. Next time I’ll let them rape you and then slit your throat.” Ignoring the shocked hurt that flared in her features, he brushed past her and stalked over to the far wall.
“Cam, what the hell, man? That was harsh.” Seb glanced between the two of them.
He didn’t reply as he sat, putting his back to the cool concrete behind him.
Bren crossed her arms, glaring at him. “I know you’re pissed that we got caught, but don’t take it out on me.”
“I’m not pissed at you. I’m pissed at myself for being stupid enough to trust Jordie Brenner’s sister for even a second.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” She closed the distance between them, her short steps revealing her anger.
“You’re just like him. Selfishly disregarding orders and getting people killed.” He could help glancing over at where Bartlet had covered their brother with his jacket.
“I can agree with the stupid part, but only because you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. Jordie told me everything, even the classified parts. So don’t pretend like you’re the victim here.”
He shoved back to his feet. Damn it, when was Jordie’s ghost going to leave him in peace? When could he finally put that damned assignment to rest?
“Oh, he told you, did he?” He took a menacing step forward. “He told you how I ordered him to bunker down with the rest of the team, but he had some idiotic idea about sneaking up on our target to listen to their conversation for intel, even though there was no way to get close without being seen? He told you how he disregarded my orders, and when he snuck off, revealed where we were hiding to the patrolling CS soldiers? How, when he got pinned down and I went to help him, the rest of our team were ambushed with grenades and slaughtered? And finally, when we eventually got clearance for a new assignment months later, he committed suicide by walking straight into the CSS line of fire?”
Judging by the look on her face, the version he’d just given her was vastly different to the one her brother had supplied. Not that he’d helped. As Jordie’s commanding officer, he hadn’t been able to shake the guilt of his own choices, and had somewhat covered up the guy’s actions. Or at least fudged them, taking some blame that shouldn’t have been his to bear. He didn’t have to go after Jordie—he could have ordered the rest of the men to move and left the young soldier to his fate. And he didn’t have to accept Jordie back into action on his new team, but he’d stupidly thought maybe out of tragedy, he could help him become a better soldier, a better man. Instead, he’d helped the guy end his own life.
“That’s not true,” Bren whispered.
“Isn’t it? Then tell me different.” The past didn’t matter so much anymore. It was his own lack of judgment when it came to her that stung him now. “Tell me how you’re any different. I told you to head for the shuttle. I gave you an order. It was imperative you reached the rebels, even if I didn’t. But you let your feelings for me cloud your judgment. You came after me and ended up getting both of us caught.”
“That’s what you think?” There was an incredulous note to her voice, underlaid with anger.
“Cam, that’s not—” Seb started, but Bren cut him off.
“Just forget it, Seb. Cam has it all figured out, and now I know the truth.”
Now Seb was looking pissed as well. “But Bren—”
“No, Seb, leave it.” She turned her back on him and went to sit against the adjacent wall, staring at nothing, gaze almost vacant, like the light had extinguished. An uneasy feeling rocked him, and suddenly he felt like he’d jumped into a lake, seen the rocks just before he hit the water, but couldn’t change the fact that he’d already leaped. He was going to hit those rocks, and there was nothing he could do about it.
“I never thought I’d say this, but you’re an asshole,” Seb muttered before walking over to join Bren. When he sat down beside her, he looped an arm around her shoulder, and she leaned into him, leaving a smoldering in Cam’s guts.
“Shit,” he muttered to himself, tilting his head back against the wall and closing his eyes. Why did he just feel like he’d made the biggest mistake of his life?
Chapter Twenty-Three
The pain from losing Jordie ripped through Bren all over again, but this time it was worse, because she’d also lost Cam. Though considering all he’d said, it was clear she hadn’t really had him in the first place.
How could he have cared for her, slept with her, when all that time he’d thought such terrible things about Jordie, had obviously been waiting for her to slip up and confirm what he already assumed about her?
And Jordie. God. How could he have done those things? She didn’t want to believe them, but she’d known her brother too well. He could be impulsive, selfish, and reckless. They were qualities their father had been hoping to fix by enrolling him in a pre-military college and then pressuring him to join the war. Though she’d been a year younger than Jordie, she’d seen that he hadn’t been cut out for war and followed him in. Trying to keep an eye on him hadn’t worked, and it had all ended in disaster. But suicide? She’d never guessed for a second that he’d ended his life on purpose.
The stories he’d told her about that fateful assignment had never quite rung true—he’d been hiding something and over time, minor details had changed. Now it all made sense. He’d worked hard to ensure she never found out it had been his fault, because he’d defied orders from his CO.
No wonder Cam had been so cold to her all these years. He’d assumed she was cut from the same cloth. Judged her before he’d even known her. Why the hell he’d let things get so intimate between them, she had no idea. But it was clear that even though she thought she’d proven herself trustworthy, capable, and she believed they’d come to know each other well, the truth was, Cam didn’t know a damne
d thing about her.
Maybe she should have let Seb tell Cam what had really happened, since she’d filled him in just after they’d reunited in this cell. With Nieman captured, there hadn’t been any shuttle coming. And considering the number of soldiers in the woods, their chances of escaping had been slim at best.
If Cam could so easily fall back on his preconceived ideas about her and immediately jump to the conclusion their capture had been her fault, then he wasn’t worth the feelings she’d developed for him. He wasn’t worth getting upset over, even though it felt like someone had punched a fist into her chest and yanked out her heart. Or maybe it felt like that because she now had the inescapable truth about her brother. She grasped onto the reason, even though she was fooling herself.
Cam had touched deep inside her. She’d allowed him in to a place she’d never let anyone else, and there was no way to repair the gouging hole left in the wake of his faithlessness.
“I’m sorry about your brother,” Seb said quietly so his voice wouldn’t go beyond the two of them. “Why didn’t you tell Cam what really happened when the CSS grabbed you both?”
“What’s the point?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because he’s blaming you for something that wasn’t your fault.” Seb shot a heated glare toward Cam, who had his eyes closed. Lines were etched into his face—fatigue, strain, and stress that hadn’t been there a few days ago. Her heart ached for him. How long would it take before she could look at him without those feelings leaping forward?
“If that’s what he really thinks of me, if he’s going to judge me by something my brother did, then he’s not worth my time. He can think whatever he wants about me, I don’t care, because I know the truth, and the people who matter know the truth.”
“Then you’re a bigger person than me,” Seb muttered. “Can I at least punch him in the balls for you?”
Any other time, she might have laughed at his suggestion. “Maybe later, when we get out of this camp.”
A shadow of worry passed through his expression. “Which isn’t likely to be any time soon.”
“Don’t give up hope yet.” She reached down and took his hand.
“Bren, if we don’t make it—”
She brought a finger up to her lips to shush him before he said anything.
“No speeches. We’re going to make it.” They had to. For so many reasons.
Seb pulled her in and kissed her forehead. “I love you. In a totally platonic, nonsexual way that won’t end with Jenna killing either of us.”
She released his hand but relaxed back into the arm he had around her, believing for the first time that things really would turn out okay. Glancing around the room, she caught Cam staring at them, a stormy expression on his face. Now what? Did he have something else he wanted to blame her for?
She refused to care.
No matter how it made her chest ache.
…
A few long hours went by. Bren only half concentrated on the small talk Seb was making, obviously trying to keep her mind off things. Most of her attention was taken up with trying to guess the time and gauge how long they had until the rebels attacked—a feat which now might be easier, since Cam had diverted the attention of the CSS by giving them false intel.
Cam sat brooding on the other side of the room while her righteous anger built. Her resolve remained the same, which was pretty much along the lines of screw him. But she’d gone and fallen hard for him and didn’t know how to pull herself up, even though he’d hurt her. If that didn’t make her completely stupid, she didn’t know what would.
The door to the room slammed open, and the CS soldier from earlier, the one who’d given the order to strip her in the holding room, stalked in, only one other soldier accompanying him. Whatever was going on, he was clearly incensed.
He crossed the room, heading for Cam, who started to get to his feet.
The soldier reached him and grabbed the collar of his shirt, slamming him into the concrete wall behind him.
She scrambled to her feet, and when she would have gone over, Seb looped an arm around her waist and held her back.
“I sent scouts in every direction outside the Holy City and none of them found the rebel forces,” the CS soldier said, anger pushing out every word.
“Maybe they weren’t looking hard enough.”
The soldier cursed, tightening his grip on the collar of Cam’s shirt to the point of choking.
“If you gave me false information just to save your bitch, I’m going to make both of you very sorry.”
“It wasn’t false info. I don’t know the details. Only that they’re going to attack a target in the Holy City.” Cam’s voice came out tight, though whether from the anger or the hold the CS soldier had on him, she couldn’t tell.
Technically, Cam wasn’t lying. And hopefully, this soldier wouldn’t guess the reeducation camp was the mark until it was too late.
The CS soldier yanked out his gun and shoved it under Cam’s chin. “I’m starting to think you don’t understand the gravity of your situation.”
“I understand more than you think,” Cam returned through clenched teeth.
The soldier lashed out, smashing Cam in the face with the butt of his gun. While he was still reeling, the man propelled Cam away from the wall into the middle of the room. He slammed a foot into the back of his legs, sending him to his knees.
Blood dripped down his face from a cut on his cheekbone as he looked up, catching her gaze. She couldn’t read his expression, partly because he was keeping his face in a detached mask, but mostly because her heart was rushing, pulse thrashing through her body, making her thoughts spin out of control.
She pressed forward against Seb’s hold, wanting to go to Cam, wanting to do something to stop this more than she’d ever wanted anything in her life. It wasn’t even a conscious choice, just a burning instinct telling her that even if she got herself killed, she couldn’t stand by and watch Cam die.
“If you try to intervene, he’ll turn on you, and Cam wouldn’t want that,” Seb muttered into her ear, his solid chest against her the only thing holding her together.
The soldier stepped closer, pointing the gun at the back of Cam’s head.
“One of you knows something. Talk, or you’ll be laying your commanding officer in the corner with your other dead friend.”
“No one is saying anything,” Cam said. It was as much an order for all of them as it was for the soldier’s benefit.
The CS soldier shifted his aim down and squeezed the trigger, shooting Cam in the arm.
He half collapsed forward, though when he cried out, the sound gave hint to more anger than pain.
“Cam!” She wrenched out of Seb’s hold, not caring about keeping out of the soldier’s sights any longer. If he was going to kill Cam, then he’d have to kill her as well.
She landed in front of Cam as he straightened on his knees. The bullet wound appeared to be a through-and-through, but she needed a closer look to be sure. Before she could check, the soldier closed in on them, grabbing a handful of Cam’s short hair and wrenching his head back as he pressed the gun to his temple.
“Please, don’t kill him.” Her words came out ragged, giving away every emotion. Yes, he’d hurt her, and once they were out of these walls they’d go their separate ways. She could handle that. But if he died, it would destroy her in a way even Jordie’s death hadn’t accomplished.
“Tell me what you know about the rebel’s plans, or the next one goes straight through his head.” The CS soldier was clearly out of patience, his resolute look telling her he’d have no hesitation going through with his threat.
She glanced at Cam, his expression set with pain, features pale. Yet, his jaw was still clenched in stubborn determination, a fierce light burning in his gaze. He shook his head in the slightest movement, almost imperceptibly, but she got the message loud and clear. He didn’t want her saying anything.
Did he really expect her to sit here
and watch him die?
God, he was never going to forgive her. Because she was about to do exactly what he’d accused her of earlier. Defy his orders for nothing but selfish reasons.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Dammit. By the edge of resignation that’d slipped into her expression Bren was getting ready to give in and tell this soldier what he wanted to know.
Cam’s life wasn’t worth risking the entire rebel plan, but if their positions had been reversed, he would have done the same thing. Hadn’t he given this bastard a story that, even though not totally true, held a nugget of truth to save Bren earlier?
“I’ll tell you where the rebels are going to attack, but you have to let him go first.” Bren’s voice came out carefully controlled.
“You’ve got no leverage to negotiate here.” The soldier pressed the gun harder, and he had to work not to wince in pain at where the hard metal was jammed into his temple. “Tell me. Now!”
She took an uneven breath, but before she could get a single word out, Cam shifted forward, clamping a hand on the back of her neck and yanking her in for a quick, hard kiss.
“Sorry, Bren. I can’t let you do it,” he managed to get out against her lips before the soldier pulled him back again.
Instead of complying with the CS soldier’s demand to stay still, he focused all the power in his legs and pushed up, knocking into the soldier and sending them both off balance. A shot rang out, close to his ear—close enough to singe in a streaking burn and leave a ringing sound in his head. But the bullet had missed.
The soldier scrambled to get out from underneath him, but before he could get to his feet, a muted boom rocked the room, shaking the ground beneath them, sending a crack darting up one of the walls.
Thank God.
The rebels had made their move, and the timing couldn’t have been better. Cam recovered quicker than the CS soldier. He clamped his hand over the soldier’s on the gun, pushing it away and head butting him, since his other arm was useless after the bastard had shot him. Luckily, his adrenaline was amped way up, so he hardly felt the pain.
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