by Blythe Stone
“Oh- my god,” I said, a huff of a laugh spilling out of me.
My hands had fallen onto the arms of a woman I knew.
“Nah-Natalie,” I said, eyes squinting as my smile began to stretch way wider than it’d stressed in a very long time.
“Livia,” she huffed a laugh too.
I felt myself being pulled into a tight whole-world hug.
“Wow,” I said, trying to be in the moment. “I um. I haven’t seen you in…”
“Years,” she laughed, rocking us playfully.
“Ha-how are you,” I wondered. Her arms felt so nice around my body, holding me.
“I’m good, I’m good,” Nat said. “How are you?”
“I- d-don’t know,” I laughed. Why the hell was I stuttering?
“Aw, come on, you gotta give me more than that,” Natalie teased. I’d been avoiding this wonderful woman.
“I remember you,” I said, swallowing. It was the truthful answer. Nat pushed me back so that she could see me. I knew I probably seemed vulnerable. I couldn't hide the amount of time I’d been wishing to just see her like this, have it happen so I didn’t have to make it happen.
For a second she stared and my chest swelled with the hours and months and years I’d spent wishing for her to show up again, back into my life.
“I hope you remember good things,” Natalie charmed.
“Of course,” I smiled, nearly laughing. “You know I loved you.”
“Well, I don’t know about that,” Natalie joked.
“Stop,” I said, pushing her. “What are you doing right now, can we go somewhere?”
Her eyebrows lifted and I could see her gaze wandering just past me to something or someone else.
“Oh my god,” I realized, the panic hitting me fast.
I’d been so thrown by seeing her, I didn’t even have a moment to make the connection that maybe she was the actress that the pretty woman had been telling me about.
“Oh shit,” I said, instantly depressed again and embarrassed and almost pissed at myself and the situation.
What the actual fuck was Natalie doing here? I mean, I knew she did charity stuff but this was…
I kept trying to find a way around it being true even though it was happening before me and undeniable in every way.
“So, fate has struck,” the pretty stranger said, coming over. “This is some meet cute.”
“Ha!” Nat beamed. “You have no idea,” she laughed.
A bit caught, I stared between them.
“Avery Lockhart, meet Oh-Livia Holbrook,” Nat smiled.
Nat had hooked her arm with mine, keeping me in place.
A stared at the woman, now knowing her name.
“Oh! The famous Livia!” Avery smiled. “I've heard stories, all good things off course,” she said.
“Wow,” I said, nodding. So, I'd just completely dumped my secrets onto my exes very stable long-time girlfriend. Great.
My embarrassment couldn't be worse.
“Oh yea,” Nat laughed. “I've told her everything.”
“Right,” I said, allowing it to sink in.
“Livia! I'm kidding!” Nat shook me.
I faked a laugh and stared at Avery wondering how close she was with Natalie. How much did she really know…?
“Well, it was nice to meet you,” I said.
I was referring, of course, to our overly candid conversation. It was certainly not nice to meet the person who now had a person I still wanted.
“Um, hold on,” Nat said. “I thought you wanted to go out.”
I looked to Avery and then Nat. My insides hurt. I had that sick feeling now.
“Oh, no, I'm sure Avery's exhausted,” I said, checking with her.
I had wanted to steal Natalie for myself. But that was before I met her sweet significant other.
“I'd let you steal her for a while. It's no fun catching up with me tagging along and she's right, I am tired,” Avery said.
“What?! Wait, no way,” Nat said. “I'd only want to go if you'd come to,” Nat said, staring over at her.
“Uh, yeah. She's right,” I said, defending that smart decision.
If I was left alone with Nat I would hit on her and flirt with her and be an asshole, so it wasn't a good idea. But I couldn't just say: oh, I wanted you to come to my hotel room and get drunk with me and fuck me.
Nope. That would cross a lot of lines.
Nat looked over at me, a little surprised but still sweet and somehow happy to see me again.
“Alright, but I’m not promising that I won’t make fun of one or both of you at some point during the morning because it is past midnight and I get punch drunk,” Avery said.
“Oh no! Livia hates jokes,” Nat lied.
“Shut up,” I said, nudging her.
“Come on,” Nat laughed. She reached her hand out and took Avery’s, pulling us both to follow her. “Do you need to stay longer?” Nat asked me.
“Oh.. No. I got a hotel room. I can just text Farrow and let him know I left with friends.”
“Wait, what hotel?” Nat asked.
“Um. The Chateau,” I muttered. It was the only hotel I actually felt home in around here.
“Oooo… They have the best room service. We should just go there.”
“That's what I was planning to do before I ran into you,” I laughed.
“Babe, would that be okay?” Nat asked, leaning over to Avery.
“You guys can borrow the robes and stuff. Sleep if you want,” I explained. “It’s no problem.”
“I’m okay with whatever your heart desires as long as I get to take off these heels,” Avery answered her.
She looked down at her feet and grimaced.
“They're really pretty,” I said, noticing. I wasn’t exactly a foot fetish person but her feet were really pretty too and, like a crazy person, I wondered what her toes looked like and wanted my unnecessary answers.
As we made our way out of the show area a few people stopped us to talk to Natalie and thank her for coming out. Pretty soon we each had large gift baskets we were holding for her.
“Well, this brings me back,” I scoffed.
Nat, of course, was not holding anything. People wouldn't allow her to. That’s what it was like when you were really famous. You had to be ready for complete strangers to run up and hug you at all times.
The organizers and aids would literally take the items from her hands if she took them from our and tried to hold them.
“Aww. So you missed it,” Nat teased.
I looked to Avery, hoping she might not know I actually did.
“Dating you had many perks,” I teased.
“Yeah but they were nothing compared to dating you,” Nat said.
I wondered if she was referring to my attitude. Was she teasing too or telling the truth? I couldn't say.
I kept quiet, not able to properly arrange my feelings.
“Free stuff, you can’t really beat it. Half the stuff I use and own now came in swag bags,” Avery said.
“It's nice,” I said. But I was halfway lying. No one really needed an endless stream of amenities they weren't asking for. This kind of stuff could get really complicated.
“Livia’s always been rich,” I heard Nat whisper to Avery.
It made me uncomfortable. I'd heard what Avery had said about wealthy people being shitty. And I knew I fit into that so it was hard not to take it to heart.
As we got to the valet, Nat’s driver appeared. He walked around and took Nat’s baskets for us. Natalie opened her own door for Avery.
I waited and stared, like maybe I should just go home alone. Natalie gazed at me, knowing me. She held the door and held her hand out to get me to be comfortable enough and just get in.
I couldn't speak. I just did what she wanted and we were soon on our way to my hotel.
My hands were sweaty and my arms were cold. For several reasons, I had goosebumps everywhere.
Nat scoot in next to me. She
didn't have to be close. I felt her and loved her for still treating me like we were even friends, let alone, possible lovers.
I figured she had enough of my shit long ago, that seeing me was probably just bad for her and I should leave her alone.
“So, Livia. How are you really?”
“Um…” I swallowed. Her hand was just out in front of me and I wanted so badly to hold it. “I’m… Work’s stupid and I'm really thinking about quitting.”
“Really?” Nat asked.
“Yeah,” I sighed.
“And that's that fancy startup thing that went all crazy on the NASDAQ? Fortune 500? Top 10 greatest places to work?”
“You follow me,” I asked.
“Of course,” Natalie said. “You know I've always been proud of you.”
It was interesting… Why would she?
“She has it set in her newsfeed to get alerts if anything happens with your company. I really should have put together who you are sooner. I feel stupid,” Avery said.
“Oh don't,” I said, turning and touching a hand to her thigh.
Fuck.
I took my hand back slowly and hoped she hadn't noticed.
“I didn't even think. I didn't know you would be there tonight,” I said, turning to Nat.
“Well, it's just another paid engagement,” Nat shrugged.
This is why we weren't together. I was shitty. She followed me for years and I just assumed she had been done with me.
“Still,” I said. “I didn't know you still paid attention to anything I did.”
“So maybe I'm a stalker,” Nat teased.
I laughed but it wasn't funny and I felt like crying because it was so fucking sweet.
“Any love interests?” Nat wondered.
“Oh. Um… No,” I said, wanting to hide how sad it made me, to be here with her and not able to tell her all that I felt.
“Well that's not good,” Nat teased.
I wanted to tell her that there’d mostly been men after her but Avery was here and I felt dumb so I didn't say anything.
“Hmm, you must work too hard. What about this guy you mentioned earlier?” Avery asked.
“He's just a friend. Co-founder of the company,” I explained.
“Wait. Earlier when?” Nat asked.
I felt her fingers playing with mine. Attraction, need, want, kindness… It all attacked me inside.
On her end, it was probably absent-minded.
Inside, all my nerves were feeling her, on edge, they were firing off like sparks and flares.
“We talked a little. Before I knew she was taken by you,” I let out.
“Hmm…” Nat mused.
“Gotcha, so not a romantic interest. Well, Nat has a lot of friends. We can always fix that,” Avery teased.
“Oh, I don't do too well with setups,” I said.
“Livia always wants to do the opposite of what she's supposed to. It doesn't matter if it's good for her.”
“I'm just not interested in having to try to get someone to like me,” I explained. “How'd you two meet? Has it been a long time?”
If I asked about them, it would shine the light away from me. Didn’t matter that I already knew a lot more than I was letting on.
“I was a journalism major in college and I got a free pass into comic-con. Nat was doing a panel for that one show she was on, Origin. I interviewed her for this freelance gig I got and we hit it off. Well, I was a total nerd and couldn’t keep myself together and she thought I was cute,” Avery explained.
“That's really sweet,” I realized. They were both smitten then. “So how long have you been together?”
“We broke up once, soon after we got together, but only for a day. So, if you don’t count those twenty-three hours and fifteen minutes I think it’s close to five years.
“Wow,” I said, trying not to feel the large stake being driven right into my heart. “That's impressive,” I realized.
“It really is considering how crazy life is,” Avery said.
“I can imagine,” I said, trying not to feel too down.
Nat slipped her fingers between mine and when I looked at her I noticed she'd been petting Avery with her other hand and staring at her.
I was certainly the third wheel here but she was doing her best to try and have me feel that way.
Hours ago I would've given anything to feel Natalie hold my hand so I knew I should let myself feel this while I still had time. No matter what the circumstances, her touch was a good thing.
We sat together quietly. And the car pulled up to the hotel.
It was awkward in the elevator. I remembered all the times Nat and I were staying together in hotels. We even stayed in this one.
“So, tell me how you two met again. I know the story but I like hearing it,” Avery said.
“My uncle’s big 50th,” Nat lauded. “Olivia was so cute. They hired this band to come for the party but they booked Livia separate and she was just so sweet and quiet all night and all my cousins started hitting on her so I had to whisk her away.”
My stomach was in knots. It had been so long since that very first night when we met.
“And I thought you were just being nice, saving me, but then you quietly kissed me along the side of the house, where you knew no one would see.”
My heart hurt. She was always so good to me.
“You were so shy and soft,” Nat remembered.
“So cute,” Avery mused.
“I'd never been kissed like that,” I said, wanting her to know.
I'd told her before but I never knew what she really thought of me deep down.
“Natalie is beyond excellent at kissing. I always feel like I've taken the good drugs when she kisses me,” Avery said.
“It's nice,” I reminisced.
Too bad I was too crazy to keep a real relationship.
The elevator door opened and I led us to my hotel room, opening the door.
“Make yourselves at home,” I said.
It was a suite. I always sprang for the better options when I didn't have time to compare stats.
“There's a hot tub if you want,” I said, pointing over to the balcony.
I got a bottle of water from the kitchen and started to drink some of it down.
“What do you think, babe.” I watched Natalie talking to her. Avery was so sexy and pretty, especially in that dress. She’s what people think of when they hear California girl: blond hair, blue eyes, small hidden freckles, toned legs like she runs or swims. What I noticed most? She had an edge to her, her words could cut. But then, she was also playful, and thoughtful.
“Fancy! It reminds me of that place we stayed at in New York last time. I liked that place,” Avery replied.
“Oh, I love that place,” Natalie remembered.
“I wonder if the room service is as good here. They had that famous chef that worked for the president at the other place,” Avery went on.
“Oh, it's really good,” Natalie whispered, pulling her in and hungrily staring at her face and her chest.
I realized I was being a creep and turned to look at the drink menu from the drawer.
For lack of a better thing to do, I picked the phone up and dialed the number on the menu.
“Yeah, that was a good trip. They canceled one of your appearances and we spent all day in the hotel room,” Avery sighed.
“Can I get you anything here,” I heard Nat flirting.
My throat was a little raw. I asked the man on the line to send up a few fresh mixed drinks from the bar.
“I just want you and… Maybe a salad,” Avery replied.
“I think we can arrange that,” Nat said.
Soon as it seemed like they were going to come over to me I busied my hands.
“What are you doing Livia,” Nat asked, clearing her throat.
“I ordered a few drinks. They're coming up,” I said.
“Yeah, and you're- washing your hands?” Nat asked, hovering over me and watching
me.
“What,” I said.
“You're being weird,” she mouthed in a whisper, hanging close to me.