by Blythe Stone
“Uh huh, out of my way. I’ve got work to do,” he said.
I stepped back and he started to work on her makeup again. She was still smiling at me, looking past Thom and locking eyes with me.
I blew her a kiss and went back to my seat. Her eyes followed me until Thom made her look up so he could fix her eye makeup.
Now, I needed to go get a ring, a beautiful one.
16
(Olivia)
Morning time. My hand slipped forward until it landed down on the covers. My mind hadn’t tricked me, Avery was gone. Before my eyes even opened I’d registered that.
Having no light in the space kept me motionless for a lot longer than I would’ve been if I’d known the time.
Then my throat cleared, my eyes opened, I sat up and saw that I was alone in the large hotel room.
“Okay,” I said, a little dejected. I’d wanted this yesterday but somehow now I didn’t want it any more. “Come on,” I whispered. “Let’s get up.”
If I talked to myself like I was two people, it helped.
My feet rocked a little as all my weight landed onto them. I shifted this way and that, like the floor might be moving, like it might be nothing more than the finely carpeted deck of an old wooden sailing ship.
The curtains spread when I willed them and I pushed the glass door open, taking the few rocky steps to the edge of the balcony and looking out.
“Hm,” I breathed, gaze wandering out and then down over the trees and the buildings and the busy road. It was a weird deja vu feeling, being just here. I looked to my left and noticed the newness of the space. The hotel was obviously an older one, or at least, made to look that way. Extra swanky, but it was still a high rise and it had obviously been remodeled from one corner to the next. What I mean to say is, it was familiar but I was sure I had never been here before.
I walked back inside, leaving the door open. For lack of a better thing to do, I forced myself to shower, do my hair and makeup, and get changed. Some heels, a skirt, a button-down blouse, gold dangle earrings, my weightless gold cross from my mother for good sentiment. The weather permitted lightweight attire and I just wanted to be free right now. I knew myself, I knew I would wander.
Once I was finished I felt one million times better. Ruminating on my feelings out here was a difficult task but it also gave me emotions I missed more than anything. Even the stuff with Avery was penetrating my walls, seeping inside me at a rate I could never foresee.
I took the elevator down to street level and just started to walk.
As I began to walk I started to imagine being miles away. Not anything predictable or normal, like going back to my home. Instead I imagined getting a car and driving up into the Canadian wilderness, up and up and up, like Alexander Supertramp if Alexander Supertramp had somehow been given a large sum of money he didn’t immediately shit away on some principal.
Walls of glass windows kept popping up to the right side of me while the traffic slipped by on the other. There was honking and the sounds of roaring trucks and humming vehicles. Vancouver was odd. I’d been in the city before and didn’t get to stay long. Not to say it left a lasting impression. What I did want to do was find myself in the trees or even on Vancouver Island. Even right now, in the city, I thought about finding a house out there, staying out there, away.
They needed space I wasn’t giving them. I hadn’t anticipated this feeling I was going to get. Like I was an intruder. I hadn’t anticipated that. At least, not the strength of it.
Hours went by. I avoided my phone for anything other than account information, GPS, and helpful suggestions. I got calls I ignored, many emails, many messages.
I actually thought about turning the entire thing off.
What was I like as just another person in the world? Could I even be that now?
I ate at a cafe and searched the bookstore closest to me for more of Avery’s books. They had a few. I bought them.
Another hotel came up in my venture. I wandered into the lobby and found a concierge to ask about renting a car.
“We’ll call you a car ma’am.”
“No, that’s not necessary. I just would like to rent a car.”
“Yes,” the concierge said, understanding. “We will have one brought here. Is there a certain type of vehicle you prefer?”
“Would it be long term?” I asked.
“How long term ma’am.”
“A few weeks,” I said, trying not to feel some level of commitment in my choice to come out here and actually play.
“We can do that for you.”
“Oh. Thank you,” I said. “I’d prefer something new. A car that can fit 3 people comfortably. One that can travel far on a full tank of gas. Expensive,” I shrugged and rolled my eyes. “The best. Leather interior, bluetooth, gps, anything I can wander in and be comfortable.”
“Alright. Let me place a few calls. Would you like a refreshment while you wait?”
“No thank you.”
The bar to my right was already in light use, even though it wasn’t even midday. I could get my own refreshment if I wanted one.
My inclination to wander out into the woods, that would be one I would follow up here. I didn’t allow myself such wandering capability often. Here I knew I could actually stick to it, do what I wished. I’d given myself permission to not care. Whatever fallout that came, it wasn’t important. No one could take my company from me, no one could sell my company without my permission. My house would be fine. I had insurance and my staff took care of the animals.
For sentimental reasons, I wouldn’t truly be missed.
I sat near the window on an expensive leather chair a full building length away from the concierge. He’d come get me when he needed. That was none of my concern.
All morning I’d been trying to shake off the feelings Avery had gifted me in the night. How sweet she looked in her pajamas with her messy hair slowly dryings, her reading glasses, that serious stare. The way she smiled to try and alleviate my fears. The places her hands touched down on my skin. Her familiar yet intoxicating smell.
Having her near was new but it was also like having Natalie too.
I couldn’t think about Natalie. She was being stand-offish with me which told me so much about my own decisions and how weird they were. Either she was scared to get close or she knew she shouldn’t. And, given everything I’d done to ruin her life on accident, I couldn’t blame her for being careful.
I tugged my phone from my pocket and searched it for a message.
From Natalie there was no word.
I swallowed hard in the back of my throat. My own nerves were eating at me.
I licked my lips, biting the bottom one as I allowed myself to be not careful and search for Avery’s name.
Avery: Sorry we had to leave you all alone. Nat is filming some scenes where she’s running around in an abandoned building and her makeup makes her look totally beat up. Crazy. Anyway, let me know if you wanna hook up later.
Hmm…
Only one text in the span of that time? She'd sent it only an hour or two ago. Okay, I needed to stop being so invested now. Perhaps I could pretend this was all just some casual thing.
“Your car will be here in about a half hour,” the concierge said, shaking me from my thoughts. “They're faxing me over some papers for you to sign. Do you have the time?”
“Of course,” I said, standing and following him back over to his desk.
By the time I had the papers all signed and under wraps, my car came and I got to take the keys and drive away.
It was sleek and black but also large inside. The salesman had shown me how the passenger seat works like a fancy leather recliner chair with a foot rest that springs right up.
Oddly enough, I thought of Avery.
My mind muddled. I forced myself to get lost.
It took me a while but I finally found a semi remote area not too far from the highway and I started to search for Airbnb’s and HomeAway rentals.
There was this perfect one with a hot tub and a nice back yard that led into a forest. I went and looked at it first. Then I sent the host a message asking about an extended stay.
Avery: Hope everything is okay.
Oh. Shoot.
Olivia: Everything is good. I went in search of a rental. What do you think about this place?
I sent her a link.
Avery: LOVE it. The yard looks serene. Writing there would be awesome. I know Nat will approve. Get it if it's the best one you see.
Olivia: I'm fond of the natural lighting. Just checking with the owner for a set time frame on the availability.
I thought about it. About all of us here. There was enough space for us all to stretch out and really be solitary.
Avery: I hope it works out. Nat finishes a little early today so I was thinking we could go to dinner. I've been looking up places online. Do you like Italian?
Olivia: I love Italian. That’d be great.
Things with Nat had been a little weird. I was hoping it was just like a bad day thing and not her wishing I wasn’t around.
I finally got a hold of the right person and booked us the house. We could move in as soon as we liked. Either way, we now had a large house.
When I finally got back to the hotel they were almost off so I packed a little and fixed myself up for dinner.
For courage, I ordered a couple of drinks from downstairs. I couldn’t go through things with Nat all sober. Not with the amount of uncertainty I had.
To make matters worse I had to stop myself from spending more time on her bed in her room. I laid there a long while and pushed my face into her PJ shirt, being intrusive and creepy and breathing her in.
I trapped myself in her room, draping her shirt over my face and just lying there. The maids had come and fixed the beds up, cleaned the room. But they hadn’t taken this…
When Nat and Avery finally came back I’d been trying to prepare myself. I started reading Avery’s book again and I hid the others I’d bought inside of my suitcase beneath half of my clothes.
They came inside and milled about, getting prepared. Avery was overly polite and Nat was preoccupied with her busy schedule and all of the madness of the last few days.
It wasn’t until we got to the restaurant that the two of them actually felt present with me and started to ask me random questions about my life.
17
(Avery)
The restaurant was beautiful just like in the pictures I'd seen online. At some point during filming I'd left set because I was tired of watching someone trying to fake-kill my Nat.
That's when I found myself looking at the Zagat website. I figured a nice dinner was in order to celebrate the engagement and finding such a nice place.
I kept drinking wine. It was one way to combat the anxiety in me. We had to tell Olivia and I was afraid of how she would react. It wasn't fair to tell her to take that house without her knowing.
“I'm glad you're done shooting scenes like today's. I'm looking forward to seeing you less terrified,” I joked.
“We all know she’d eat him alive in reality,” Olivia smirked.
Nat smiled between us, it made her embarrassed when Olivia said these things but anyone else would get some banter back and a bit of a fight.
“It's true. She's fierce. Remember you're going to get even more fierce if you sign on for that spy movie. You'll have to do fight training again and I will be there to watch,” I said, grinning.
“As long as you’re there with the ice right after,” Nat laughed, a little pitiful.
“Babe, you know I'll take care of you. Massages, ice baths, and a huge bottle of painkillers,” I assured.
Olivia kept looking between us and then looking away at everyone else. I think it made her uncomfortable to see us share sentiment like this. Or maybe that was all in my head.
“How was it today?” Olivia asked, looking over at Nat.
“Um. Fine,” Nat shrugged. “A little annoying,” she laughed and looked over at me. “Some days are like that.”
“Sorry to hear it,” Olivia said.
“The hair and makeup guy was a dick this morning,” I added.
“Aww…” Olivia said, looking over at me.
“He’s just jealous,” Nat said, placing her hand down on my thigh beneath the table as she looked over at me.
“He is and it's sad. Bitter humans are just hard to deal with at five in the morning,” I grumbled.
I looked over to Nat and bit my bottom lip. The thigh she had her hand on jumped with nervous energy.
“But I guess the morning had a positive event,” I said, beseeching Nat to tell me if I should say it.
“Oh?” Olivia asked, when the pause became too long. Nat was looking at me in kind, like she wanted to slowly make love with every piece of me.
“We’re getting married,” she said, more to me than to Olivia.
“Ah-oh,” Olivia said, a little surprised. She cleared her throat. “Cah-congratulations,” she stuttered out. “That’s- that’s big news.” There was little excitement in her voice at the end, more of a settling into the thought.
“Thank you,” Nat said, but she was staring at me, still rubbing my inner thigh.
“I asked her out of the blue. I wanted to share it in person. I hate texting things like that. We haven't talked about when or anything like that,” I added.
“I’m sure you will,” Olivia said, supportive.
They were both pretty tempered right now. Olivia drank some more of her ice water. She had wine but she was rotating now.
“I told Avery we already felt married.”
“That’s sweet,” Olivia said. They actually looked at each other now and I saw the sentimental gratitude between them. Then Nat looked to me and had to look up at the ceiling because she was going to start happy crying again.
“I totally agree. I don't think I can explain why but I felt like I just wanted to be married to you,” I said, grabbing her hand.
Nat’s fingers easily curled into mine as her other hand rubbed the back of it.
“Have you never talked about marriage before?” Olivia asked, looking between us.
“Uh- not really,” Nat laughed. “I think we just, always knew we were solid. We’ve been together a long time. Sleeping together, living together.”
She took her free hand back and played with her hair.
“Right,” Olivia nodded, agreeing on something, just to agree. She picked her water up and drank a little more.
“We didn't move in together until we had been dating a year. Mostly because I had a real job as an editor and Nat was always out of town. Then, we decided that we would rather be together full time so I quit my job, which I hated, and started publishing and doubling as Nat’s assistant,” I explained.
“Oh wait, so that’s official?” Olivia teased, looking between us. “And here I thought you were just really whipped.”
Nat laughed. “Shut up,” she said, staring at Olivia now with a bit of quiet anger brewing far beneath her obvious joy.
“If I'm whipped then I'm super happy about it,” I laughed.
“I’m just kidding,” Olivia smiled over at me, begging me not to take it personal.
“Olivia’s a jerk,” Nat teased, looking over at me.
“Little bit,” Olivia shrugged. “But I did manage to get a large house rental if you guys want a more permanent change of scenery. It’s bigger than the suite, with private rooms. I figured I was crowding your space.”
“Little bit,” Nat teased, staring over at her.
Olivia rolled her eyes and crossed her arms around her stomach loosely.
“I’m kidding,” Nat beamed, begging her now not to take it personally. “Livia,” she whined a little.
“I wouldn’t want to take your space away or make you uncomfortable,” Olivia said honestly.
“And you’re not,” Nat said, reaching her hand across the table to touch Olivia’s fingers sweetly.
Olivia
swallowed quietly as she stared at Natalie.
“Should I leave?” I teased.
“Hey,” Nat said, turning to me and pouting with concern. She took her hand back from across the table and fiddled with her hair again.
Olivia tensed her hand and then relaxed it, staring down at it and then hiding it away.
“I'm just kidding. You guys were being all serious and cute,” I said.