I was relieved her mood had lightened and plowed on. “Well, who is it—is he cute?”
Her lips tightened and even with afternoon sunlight spilling though the windows, her eyes darkened. “Promise you won’t be mad, Taylor.”
The blood drained from my face and my heart sped up. I knew who she was going to say.
“It’s Matthew,” she said. “That’s why I stopped by. Well, one of the reasons.”
“What was the other?” I forced the words out.
“To apologize for last night. I’m sorry I lied to you. I feel terrible that we scared you—that we fought. I want to be your friend, and I should have trusted you with the truth.”
I absorbed what she said, and thought back to how I felt about Lindsey sneaking around with Matthew. I never approved of the relationship, even though I was too afraid to say anything to my friend about it. I often wondered if Naomi hadn’t been murdered, would love have been enough for her and Will? Daniel wasn’t Amish anymore, but there were still issues between Aunt Reni and him that were because he used to be Amish. It was probably for the best that Matthew and Sarah got together. They had the same culture and understood each other in a way Lindsey and Matthew never could have. Still, a part of me wanted to defend my friend, who was still in the hospital, recovering from a gunshot wound. Lindsey would be so upset when she found out. I’d probably be the one who had to tell her.
I shook my head and met Sarah’s anxious gaze. She was my friend, too. Maybe it had only been for a few days, but we’d experienced a lot together in that short period of time. She reminded me of Naomi, who I missed so much. That was enough for me.
I smiled a little. “It’s okay with me. I think the two of you make a better couple anyway. It’s for the best.”
Sarah smiled back and she was radiant. “Oh, thank you. I was afraid to lose your friendship.”
“It’ll take more than being dragged to secret barn meetings and stealing my other friend’s boyfriend to lose me, Sarah. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Do you want to spend the day together? I really do want to go to the craft store”—she must have recognized the doubt on my face, because she quickly added—“for real this time. Maybe we could grab an early dinner in town.”
“I’ll have to ask my mother, but I think she’ll probably say yes.”
She jumped up. “I forgot all about my driver. I hired Martha, so we have a ride if you don’t want to drive.”
I chuckled. “It’s okay. I like driving, and I have almost a full tank of gas.”
Sarah hurried out the door to talk to her driver, and I slowly climbed the stairs to find Mom. I felt like I was betraying Lindsey.
Before I reached the top step, an idea blossomed in my head and my mood lifted. I just hoped Sarah would agree.
24
Serenity
I scratched Hope’s head, holding the phone away from my ear. The mayor had been rambling loudly for several minutes. I was about to interrupt him when he finally finished talking.
“Right. I met with the feds an hour ago and I’ll be ready for the governor’s visit tomorrow morning. I’ve got it under control.” Before the man could start up again, I said goodbye and hung up.
Hope licked my fingers and I mumbled, “You’re so lucky you’re a dog, and not the sheriff. This is one of those days I’d like to trade places with you.”
“I’m not sure I’d appreciate that.” Daniel’s voice rose up from behind me.
My heart froze, and then I relaxed. “Stop doing that,” I growled.
“What?” Daniel replied in an innocent tone. Before I could remind him that I hated when he snuck up on me, he bent down and peppered my neck with kisses.
I leaned into him and let his mouth kiss away the bloody images from the crime scene photos of the school massacre I’d been pouring over that morning. I’d gone over the evidence with four federal agents and eight state officials for around six hours. The visit to the school was the hardest part. The bodies had been removed of course, but puddles of blood and other fluids spotted the hallway. Book bags still littered the floor. Within a day or two, the crime scene would be thoroughly cleaned and all personal belongings returned to the families. Whether any of the surviving Blood Rock students would be able to walk down that hallway again was another story. Psychological damage in cases like this was very real. The survivors were also victims, and it might be too much to expect any of those kids to feel safe or comfortable in that wing of the school again.
Daniel lifted his head and moved around in front of me. He dropped to his knees and looked up. Concern was etched on his face. “Are you all right? I can tell your mind is elsewhere.”
I pressed my lips to his. For a glorious few seconds our mouths moved together, but then the horrifying pictures sprang up in my mind and I broke off the kiss.
“It’s been a rough day. I was at the school for hours. There’s talk of tearing down the section that the shootings took place in and rebuilding. The mayor already said he doesn’t want to take funds away from the town’s budget, but the state said they’d open a committee with local authorities to look into it.”
He balanced on the balls of his feet, resting his hands on my knees. He had on a blue and red flannel shirt and tan work jacket. I loved the rugged look and the soft feel of the shirt’s material when he hugged me. Even the bristles of his stubble against my cheek had an effect on me. He smelled like the snowy outdoors and I cursed my fluttering stomach. Mostly I was just surprised he was all mine.
“If I was a teenager attending Blood Rock High, I’d hate to have to be in that hallway every day, and I’m sure most parents wouldn’t want their kids to be asked to be taught in a place where their friends and teachers were massacred.” Hope pushed between us and Daniel rocked back on his heels, stroking her speckled chest. “Do you remember that sick bastard who shot those little girls in the Amish schoolhouse in West Nickel Mines?”
“Of course. Lancaster, Pennsylvania, about ten years ago.” A shiver passed through me as I thought about how that particular killer had held the girls hostage for more than a half hour before he began shooting with a 12 gauge pump-action shotgun. Those girls knew they were going to die, and still they’d stood bravely in the face of depraved evil. “It happened so fast for the Blood Rock students that many of those kids were dead within a minute of the first shots being fired. The Amish girls’ ordeal went on much longer.”
He nodded. “The Nickel Mines community demolished the schoolhouse a week later. They rebuilt at another location. The new schoolhouse was designed differently from the one that the tragedy took place in. The community realized that in order for everyone to heal, there had to be no constant reminders of that fateful day that took the lives of five of their children.”
“The mayor should learn a lesson from the Amish people. Sounds like a good idea to me, but with government bureaucracy involved in rebuilding, I’m afraid it will take Blood Rock a hell of a lot longer than a week to get the job done,” I said.
Daniel’s hands rested pleasantly on my thighs, but his face was gloomy.
“Have you talked to your sister today?”
“Briefly. Taylor fessed up and told her everything. I think Laura’s in shock. It was only a year ago that she was dealing with Will and his tragic relationship with Naomi. And now Taylor is getting mixed up with the Amish.”
“Usually it’s the other way around—Amish parents worrying about their children’s involvement with outsiders,” Daniel countered.
“Hm. That’s a pretty funny thing to say after everything I’ve personally witnessed in Blood Rock’s community.”
Daniel leaned back. “Kids are kids no matter the culture. I have to admit, things have turned especially menacing in the past couple of years.”
His mouth was tight and his eyes were sad. I slid out of the chair and wrapped my arms around him, findi
ng his mouth with mine. Even after a year of dating and then becoming engaged, our kisses still made my knees tremble. I loved the feeling of surrender. These were the rare moments when I could let my guard down and just relax—or try to.
Even for the rush of warmth in my belly, I still couldn’t forget the crazy schedule ahead of me. My body must have given me away. Daniel let go with a heavy sigh.
“I know, I know, you have to leave,” he muttered. His face was still close enough that his breath mingled with mine.
“Hopefully, I won’t be too late.” I stood up.
Daniel rose when I did. He cupped my chin. “What about the wedding, Serenity? Are we going ahead with it?”
My face flushed with heat and my stomach tied in knots. I had so many more important things on my mind than a wedding. I saw the desperation in Daniel’s brown eyes and it softened my tongue.
“I just don’t think this is a good time for it. Is it such a big deal to move the date a little?” I coaxed.
His frustration showed in every word he spat out. “There will always be a crime to solve or a person to save. You’ll just keep moving the date back.”
“No, I won’t.” My temper flared. “Twenty-three teenagers and three teachers were gunned down in Blood Rock’s high school this week, Daniel. It’s not right for the sheriff of the town to celebrate a wedding.”
“It’s officially off?” he pushed.
I pointed my finger at him. “You have no right to be mad at me. I’m not canceling the wedding, just delaying it until it’s the right time.”
“I’m not mad. It’s exactly what I expected from you. It will simply never be the right time for you.”
He strode past me and I called out, “Daniel, wait!”
But he didn’t stop. When the door slammed behind him, I dropped to my knees and hugged Hope. At least the dog didn’t have any expectations—besides a full bowl of dog food and a daily walk.
I loved Daniel, but I’d make a shitty wife. He wanted children. I’d be fine without any. He had a deep faith in God. In my line of work, I only saw the evil in the world. He was raised in a culture where women stayed home and cooked and cleaned. And I lived off fast food and dining out most days.
I was doing Daniel a favor if I didn’t marry him. It would probably be the best thing for me in the long run too.
But why then was my heart breaking?
25
Taylor
Sarah blushed and then giggled when Nancy scolded her for not ordering the deluxe bacon burger.
“It’ll put curves in all the right places, girl.” When Nancy hovered over the table, her cleavage couldn’t be ignored. “Trust me. Those Amish fellows like a little meat on their women.”
Sarah brought a napkin to her mouth to stifle her small squeal of laughter. Nancy was old enough that she didn’t have any shame left, at least that’s what Aunt Reni always said. She also was a red head. It used to be natural—now she dyed her hair the flaming color. Everyone was used to her teasing, but it was a new experience for poor Sarah.
Sarah set her napkin down. Her face twitched when she said, “Well, you’ve talked me into it, Miss Nancy. If your famous bacon burger will endow me as well as it has you, I’m all in.”
Nancy winked at me. “Good call. I’ll add on the fries and have it out to you in a jiffy.”
When Nancy was gone, Sarah exhaled. “She’s a funny woman.”
“Yeah, she likes to make people squirm. I hope when I’m old I’ll be that entertaining.”
Sarah giggled again and took a sip of her cola. She looked around at the busy diner. The drone of everyone talking and the clinking of silverware on dishes filled the air.
“There’s so many people,” she said with wide eyes.
“The diner always has a good crowd, but I think it’s even busier than usual today,” I commented. “Probably because of the shootings.”
Sarah’s smile disappeared. “Such a terrible thing.” Her eyelids flickered. “How are you holding up?”
“As long as I’m not thinking about it, I’m okay,” I admitted.
“When do you go back to school?”
The people sitting around the tables and in the booths blurred. “I don’t know for sure. Mom said school officials are thinking about moving some classes into the middle school for the time being.”
“It’s going to be hard going back, isn’t it?”
My head felt stuffy when I met Sarah’s gaze. “Harder than you’ll ever know.”
“Is there anything I can do to help you?”
Guilt stabbed at my insides, but I plowed on. “Actually, there is something, but it’s not really related to what happened at the school. It’s something that would make me feel better, I think.”
She crossed her arms on the table. “Anything. I’m here for you.”
“I’m sure this will be kind of weird for you, but it would mean a lot to me if you came over to the hospital with me after we eat.”
“The hospital?” Sarah’s eyes widened even more.
“To meet Lindsey. She was shot, you know. She’s doing a lot better, but I think it will help her to meet you in person.”
She paled, but managed a determined look on her face. “Of course I’ll go. She might not want to see me, though.”
“We don’t have tell her about Matthew today. It might help her deal with the breakup later if she gets to know you. Just a feeling I have.” Sarah’s lips puckered and I laughed. “It’s going to be okay. She’s a nice girl.” I spotted Nancy squeezing between two tables and heading our way. “For now, let’s focus on one thing only.”
A glint of playfulness returned to her eyes. “What’s that?”
“Putting some meat on our chests.” I said it with the straightest face I could muster.
Sarah’s head swiveled and when she spotted Nancy she began to laugh right along with me.
26
Serenity
“You seem distracted. Anything up?” Toby asked.
I glanced over at him. Between his cowboy hat, sunglasses, and mustache, you couldn’t see much of his face. The sun glared off of the icy layer of snow that covered the fields as we drove past. My stomach always tightened when entering the settlement and this time was no different.
“I got into a fight with Daniel,” I said. I would have felt more comfortable talking to Todd about it, but Toby was the one sitting in the seat beside me. He was a lot like me—a career lawman who seemed to have a difficult time having a personal life. The fact that he was helping me with this investigation when he could have been in a bar in a faraway city, sipping a strong drink, kind of proved my point.
“What did you do,” he chided.
I grunted and smirked back. “Why do you assume it was me, and not something he did?”
He chuckled. “That man adores you. I find it hard to believe that he’d do anything to rile you up intentionally.”
His words settled on my numb mind. He was right. Once again, it was my fault.
“We’re supposed to tie the knot in a couple weeks. You know, like a Christmas wedding sort of thing.” I eyed him, waiting for a shocked drop of his mouth, but was disappointed when he simply stared back, waiting for me to continue. “I don’t think it’s the best time to celebrate.”
“Ah, I see.” He paused, rubbing his chin. “And Daniel doesn’t want to delay the big event?”
“Naw, it’s worse than that. He thinks I’m purposely delaying it, and that I’ll never actually walk down the aisle with him.”
“Kind of like that movie with Julia Roberts?” He grinned.
“Something like that.”
I slowed the car when we came up behind a black buggy. As we rounded the curve, the trotting horse came into view. Steam shot from the horse’s mouth and off of his brown back. Toby leaned forward, abruptly more interested
in watching the spectacle than in talking to me.
“Quite a sight,” he mumbled.
Once I had broken lines and a clear view, I passed by the horse and buggy. Someone behind the small window waved and Toby returned the gesture.
“You live in a marvelous place, Serenity.” He turned back to me. “Getting back to your cold feet—”
I interrupted him. “I don’t have cold feet. I want to get married. I just can’t concentrate on something that seems so trivial when I’m the sheriff of a town that just experienced the third worst mass school shooting in the country.”
“You’re not fooling me,” he removed his sunglasses. “I get it. You don’t have to be guilt ridden or anything. Not all of us are meant to settle down.” He exhaled. “People like you and me have seen too many atrocities to convince ourselves that a blissful utopia exists. ‘Cause it sure as hell doesn’t.”
“Wow. You sound pretty bitter.” I slowed for another buggy.
“I’m happy enough with my life. I like going it on my own. There’s no one to placate on a daily basis, and no one telling me what to do. I don’t have to worry about leaving behind a wife and kids if I’m killed on duty.”
The last part touched a nerve and I blew out a long breath. “I don’t know if I even want kids, but Daniel definitely does. Most guys do, and he grew up Amish, so I think the urge to have a large family is even stronger for him.”
“Have you talked to him about kids?”
I shrugged. “Kind of, I guess. What bugs me is that I’ve been honest with him, but I get the feeling he thinks I’ll change my mind after we’re married—that I’ll suddenly want to pop out a few kids.”
“I doubt that. He has to know what he’s getting with you, and he’s probably all right with it.”
“I can’t help but shake the feeling I’d be ruining his life if I married him. I’m not going to change that much, and neither is he. It might be a huge disaster.”
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