by Carly Bloom
“I woke up early and was eager to get to work.”
“I don’t see you doing any.”
“I’m fixing to start. And anyway, we don’t have to do everything together, right?” He shook his head. “A dude ranch, Bryce. Jesus Christ.”
“A ranch is a ranch, and one of us was going to have to take it,” Bryce said. “I knew you wouldn’t want it. You’re happy here on Rancho Cañada Verde.”
“You’re not?”
His brother sighed. “I’m just curious as to what it might be like to live somewhere else. To do something else. And this is the perfect opportunity. I’d still be working for Gerome, but I won’t be stuck in the same spot where I was born for all of fucking eternity.”
Even though it was warm and muggy, the words stung like freezing rain. Because being right here, where they’d been born, was exactly where Beau wanted to be. And he and Bryce had always wanted the same things. “When did you start feeling this way?”
“Since forever, I guess.”
Forget the stinging rain. Now it was as if Beau had jumped into a pool of ice water. His body was frozen with shock. How had he not known this about Bryce? And why would his brother have kept such a secret—
Shit.
“Did you come home from A&M because of me?”
Unlike Beau, Bryce had been book smart. He’d been a good student, graduating from high school with honors. He’d received a scholarship to Texas A&M, and their parents had been so proud that they’d thrown a party, inviting the entire town. But Bryce had come home after a single semester, saying college wasn’t for him.
But what if he’d only come home because he’d sensed how lost Beau was without him? Because Beau had been lost. He’d felt left behind and abandoned. Hell, it had felt like somebody had fucking died, and he’d moped around for weeks, experiencing what their dad had jokingly referred to as “missing leg syndrome.”
He’d done his best to mask his feelings during phone calls with Bryce. But apparently, he hadn’t masked them enough.
Bryce stared at the dirt.
Great. He’d ruined his brother’s life. “Well, did you?” Beau asked.
Bryce shrugged. “I came home because I was scared shitless up there. The classes were hard, I was used to being a big fish in a small pond, and I missed my brother. So, at least part of it was you. But our dependency on each other is a two-way street, Beau. Don’t blame yourself for my mistakes.”
Beau hoped that what Bryce said was true. Because he couldn’t bear it if he was the reason his brother had given up on his dreams.
“We’re grown men now,” Bryce said. “We don’t need four legs to stand on. Two is enough.”
Beau frowned. Because Bryce had never really needed four legs. He’d always supported Beau. Now it was his turn to support his brother. “I hope things work out, and that you get to move to the Rockin’ H permanently, if that’s what you want. And I don’t want you to worry about me. I’ll be fine.”
“It might not be permanent.”
“Sounds like it will be.”
Bryce sighed. “I know you’re panicking.”
Jesus. He wasn’t panicking. But he was more than a little concerned about how he would handle the paperwork and correspondence aspect of being a foreman. Ford had recently implemented a new agricultural software program, and Bryce had been the one dealing with it. Now Beau would have to.
“There are apps and programs that will read out loud to you—”
“I’m not a child,” Beau snapped.
“I know that,” Bryce said. “You’re a smart man. But you’re one with an unaddressed learning disability.”
Beau crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s been addressed.”
“That was with Mrs. Martinez in the third grade.”
It wasn’t just the third grade. It had also been fourth and fifth. And in junior high, their mom had started driving him to a special tutoring center in Austin. He hated going, because it meant missing Rodeo Club, which he and Bryce had been involved in since they were eight years old. He’d whined like any kid would, saying it wasn’t fair that Bryce got to go to Rodeo Club while he went to tutoring.
But it was actually worse than that. Nobody was going to Rodeo Club. Not even Bryce. They simply couldn’t afford it with the tutoring fees.
That’s when he and Bryce had hatched their plan, and Bryce had started doing Beau’s homework. Because his grades improved, it appeared that the tutoring was working. The next year, they were back in Rodeo Club.
They kept up the farce all through high school. Since Bryce was on the college track, they didn’t have any classes together, so Bryce even slipped into Beau’s seat in English when they had to do timed essays or tests.
Kids are pretty short-sighted, and they’d naively thought the battle was won.
“I’m sure they’ve made strides with treating dyslexia since we were in school,” Bryce said.
“I manage well enough.”
Silence. Because they both knew that he “managed” because of Bryce.
“I have to take some responsibility for this,” Bryce said. “We shouldn’t have hidden it. And we definitely shouldn’t have let it go on this long.”
Everyone believed that Beau had overcome his dyslexia. The thought of admitting that he still struggled with reading, as a full-grown man, was . . .
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Bryce said. “But you’re going to need help, brother.”
“I wouldn’t even know where to start.”
Bryce snapped his fingers. “What about Alice Martin? Doesn’t she have some fancy degrees that have to do with reading?”
She had two fancy degrees that had to do with reading.
His chest tightened like it was in a vise. Alice was the last person on earth that he wanted to ask for help. But he’d already dragged his brother down once. He wouldn’t do it again.
“We have to go into town for some errands later this morning. I’ll swing by the library and talk to her then.”
Most people hated Mondays, but Alice loved them. They were the beginning of the work week, which meant it was time to get busy. And getting busy was something Alice had always been good at.
Since this was the Year of Self-Care, she would start her day off properly, with a positive attitude and yoga. And then, according to her daily to-do list, it would be time to write in her gratitude journal. Then it would be time to go over her short-term and long-term goals—personal and career—followed by adding at least one thing to her bucket list.
Then she’d start marking things off her lists, because that was the very best part of keeping them.
1. Drink water!—Check!
2. Yoga!—Check!
3. Be happy!—Check!
Her jaw clenched over that one pesky to-do item.
Find a plus-one for Brittany’s wedding!
Carmen had actually had the nerve to suggest Beau Montgomery. That was the craziest thing she’d ever heard. Beau Montgomery would never ever in a million years want to escort her to a wedding. And even if he did—which he didn’t—she would never ever in a million years want him to.
Carmen had made some good points, but still . . . No way. Wasn’t going to happen. Not in this lifetime.
Or the next.
She rolled out her yoga mat, popped her laptop open, and found Sixty Days of Self-Affirming Yoga with Lauren on YouTube (she was on day eight). Then she assumed the cross-legged Sukhasana pose and hit Play.
Lauren calmly instructed her to inhale deeply through her nose for five counts while clearing her mind.
Beau is an excellent dancer. Not that I’ve ever danced with him.
Out through the mouth.
He is the ultimate playboy, and wouldn’t expect anything beyond one date.
In deeply through the nose.
He looks good in a suit.
Out through the mouth.
Brittany would lose her marbles if I showed up with Beau Montgomery.
In through the nose.
There is white dog hair on my black yoga pants.
Out through the mouth.
And all over the rug.
She shut her eyes—maybe a little too tightly—and brought her hands in a prayer position to her heart, which was beating more rapidly than usual.
She was failing to relax. And she didn’t feel centered at all. Her cells vibrated with the intense desire to vacuum. She tried to think of something else, and Beau’s gigantic bare-naked chest suddenly popped into her third eye. No, no, no! Don’t think about that!
She thought about it. And it knocked all of her chakras out of alignment. In fact, she almost fell off her yoga mat.
The harder she tried to force Beau’s bare chest out of her sacred mind’s eye, the bigger it got.
She wasn’t supposed to think of anything at all, much less bare chests. She scrunched her eyes shut, but the chest not only refused to leave, it inflated like one of those gigantic balloons in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, bobbing happily right in front of her face.
Woof!
The chest popped at the sound of Gaston’s barking. Did he need out? Would he pee in the house?
She opened her eyes. Oops! Lauren had moved into a mountain pose.
Alice jumped up and assumed the same position.
This is more like it! I’m not thinking about Beau now!
She leaned over into a flat back position and tried to force the muscles in her forehead to relax. They did not cooperate, and it made her frown. Also, her jaw was clenched. Jaws weren’t supposed to do that during yoga.
She dropped to a plank just as Gaston barked again. Sultana, who’d been supervising Alice’s yoga routine from her position at the foot of the mat, could tolerate one bark, but apparently not two, so she hissed. And even though Alice loved Sultana with all her heart, when the animal stood up and arched her back, it sent a shiver through Alice’s spine, which made it hard to maintain a perfect plank.
“It’s okay, Sully,” she said, straining. “As soon as we’re done saluting the sun with joy in our hearts, we’ll put the beastie in the backyard.”
She dropped to her least favorite pose of the sun salutation—knees, chest, and chin—just as Gaston began throwing himself against her bedroom door. Alice eyed it warily. It wasn’t locked, and the latch was flimsy.
Just two more poses and then Alice would be done greeting the freaking day. She moved into upward-facing dog as Sultana began yowling, which was an ungodly sound.
Almost there . . . Don’t quit . . . The cat won’t explode . . .
Proud of herself for maintaining her focus, Alice pressed into downward dog, just in time for Gaston to burst into the room and leap onto Alice, flattening her into the mat.
She squealed and squirmed as a wet nose pressed against her ear. The dog had her pinned. And all she could do, as the first rays of the morning sun illuminated the cloud of dog hair suspended in the air, was greet the day with a middle finger.
It wasn’t a typical gesture for Alice, but her finger was the only thing she could move.
Chapter
Six
Alice had half an hour before the library opened. She’d done her guided meditation in her car, which was not how meditation was supposed to be done, but she could only squeeze in so much self-care before it was time to leave for work.
She checked it off her to-do list and leaned back in her chair, breathing in the scent of books. There was absolutely nothing that smelled better than books.
Her phone vibrated with a text from Carmen.
Would you like to meet for lunch?
She’d planned to pick up a sack lunch from the Corner Café and eat at the Rio Verde Park with a book as her companion. But meeting Carmen sounded better.
Don’t you have to work?
Chateau Bleu wasn’t open for lunch, but usually Carmen was busy all day getting ready for dinner.
The Bleu is closed on Mondays.
Alice hadn’t known that. She hardly ever ate at Chateau Bleu, even though everyone raved about it. It was kind of a date place. Not really the type of restaurant you’d take a cozy mystery to.
I’ll be free at 1:00.
It only took a second for Carmen to text back.
It’s a date!
Her day might have gotten off to a rocky start, but things were looking up. At the top of her calendar, she’d written Don’t forget to schedule self-care! Be as kind to yourself as you are to others.
Her self-care had nearly killed her this morning. She needed self-care to recover from her self-care. Lunch with Carmen would fit the bill.
The first thing on her morning schedule:
1. Grant applications
Like most libraries, they were perpetually underfunded. And since Alice wore all the hats, she was the official grant writer. She sighed. Grant applications were not fun, and this one required a bit of information she had yet to gather. She moved it to the afternoon.
2. Order books for the children’s collection
Yay! She had a small budget to work with, but ordering new books was absolutely one of the greatest joys of her job.
3. Circulation desk
Yay again! She and Janie Ramos, the library assistant, worked the desk in shifts, and it was the most enjoyable part of the day. The people of Big Verde weren’t at all shy when it came to telling her what they thought of a book. And when they loved a book that she’d recommended, it was the best feeling in the world.
Her afternoon schedule showed an appointment with a sales rep and a meeting with the city manager.
She had just enough time to check email, and ooh! There was one from someone with the Austin Public Library. Interesting.
A couple of years ago, the library had been destroyed in a flood, and there had been some doubt over whether it could be rebuilt. The building had been underinsured, and it hadn’t had full flood coverage. Alice had preemptively applied for library positions in Austin, just in case the worst happened and she no longer had a library to call home.
Luckily, the community had come together to save the Big Verde Public Library, building a facility that was even better than the one before. But now, there was a job posting for a managing librarian of a lovely branch in Austin. It was much bigger than her library, and holy guacamole, it paid a lot more.
The person contacting her, Ms. Wilson, said they didn’t normally keep an applicant pool, but that Alice had stood out because of the circumstances—Big Verde had been all over the news at the time. She wanted to know if Alice would like to update her résumé and apply for the job.
This was a lot to take in so early in the day.
The door opened, and at the familiar sound of Janie’s bangle bracelets, Alice guiltily minimized her email. “Good morning, Janie,” she called out.
Janie had been working at the library longer than Alice, and she was the only other full-time employee. The two of them were an excellent team. They had their routines down, and neither of them liked to vary from them much.
Brittany, on the other hand, who would unfortunately be skipping in around noon, was another story. She wanted to try a million different things at once. And the fact that she was an intern, and not a full-time employee, didn’t slow her down at all. Luckily, wedding drama had saved them from redecorating the reading nook, rearranging the conference room, and researching mobile libraries, activities Brittany had been completely determined to supervise until her bridesmaids’ dresses had arrived in yellow instead of peach.
There was a pretty big difference between yellow and peach, but Brittany had eventually adjusted, and now the decorative theme was sunflowers. She’d had a harder time adjusting to the reality of her venue—she’d wanted a destination wedding—which ended up being a somewhat rundown dude ranch outside of Austin instead of the Bahamas.
“Do you want me to open up?” Janie asked, stopping at Alice’s door.
Alice rose from her chair. “I’ll do it.”
“Did you hear about Brittany?”
“What now?” Alice asked. Maybe the dude ranch had burned down. Or the cake-topper didn’t look exactly like her and Zachary.
“She broke her foot. She’s in a boot.”
“Oh no! How?”
“I don’t know. She said it was a stress fracture. Maybe from all the stress of the wedding,” Janie said with a wink.
“How long does she have to wear the boot? Because if she has to wobble and limp down the aisle—”
“Her mom says it’s been nonstop crying for the past forty-eight hours.”
Alice grimaced. She didn’t know if she felt worse for Brittany or her mom.
“Anyway, she’s not coming in for the next few days. Have you thought more about who you’re taking to her wedding?”
Alice headed for the door with the keys. An image of Beau’s rock-hard chest and ripped abs rudely popped into her head. “Not really.”
“You’d better get a move on,” Janie said. “Otherwise it’s going to be like a singles bar in here again. That girl is not going to give up.”
Alice definitely didn’t want the parade of single men to resume.
Before she turned the key to unlock the door, she stared through the glass at the town square, as if maybe a handsome bachelor she hadn’t seen before would happen by.
But there were no surprises to be had in Big Verde. Alice knew every single person in town. And she knew their reading habits, as well. Across the street, Mr. Bowman chatted with Mr. Martinez in front of the Corner Café. Mr. Bowman was a World War I buff. He’d read every book the library had on the subject. And Mr. Martinez was a fan of Westerns. He’d read every Zane Grey in their collection at least twice.
George Streleki, the local real estate agent, paused to look in the window of the Dozen or So Bakery. Last Friday, he’d checked out books on beekeeping. His wife, Maryanne, had come in later, asking about books on menopause and depression.
Alice knew the folks of Big Verde as well as any therapist or priest. She knew who was concerned about symptoms of Alzheimer’s, who was considering a second career, who was trying to get pregnant . . .