by Mary Calmes
He instantly spooned around my back, holding me close so I was wrapped up in warmth.
"Sam." I sighed as I closed my eyes, suddenly so tired.
"You know after this you're gonna do exactly as I say, right?"
"Okay." I felt his hand slide up my neck as he leaned my head back.
"Thank you for putting my name on you, J, it's like the sexiest thing I've ever seen in my life."
And I could feel how turned on he was by the way he pressed against me, the way his hand slipped down under the elastic waistband of my sweats and then under and inside my briefs. I sucked in my breath as his warm hand closed around my shaft.
"Sam," I tried to breathe.
"Shhh," he soothed me as he shifted around me, rolling me over to my back, moving down my body, dragging my clothes with him to my knees.
"Sam," I called his name as my back bowed and I arched up off the bed.
At the same time I was swallowed in tight, moist heat, I felt strong hands on my hips, anchoring me under him, looked into the eyes locked on mine. And I knew that, for him, the way I was responding told him I was all right. For Sam there was no substitute for action, as for him, words were cheap. He could ask me if I was all right and I could lie.
My body could not. When I shuddered and clutched at his hair, he was happy. I saw the glint in his eyes as his name tore out of me, and afterwards, as I lay there only able to watch him, exhausted beyond anything else, he took a deep, settling breath.
"Believe me Sam... I love you."
He nodded, staring down at me in that possessive way he had. "I know."
"I need to take care of you," I said, smiling, shifting to rise up off the bed.
His hand on my abdomen stilled me. "Stay there, close your eyes."
And I thought maybe he was going to say something else, but he only looked at me. I tried to wait but it was a losing battle. I was out seconds later.
* * * *
It was light when I woke, and he was sitting in bed beside me, reading. I lifted my head and, without looking at me, he patted his chest. I moved closer and he reached for me, tucking my head under his chin. The sigh came up out of me, rising, and I felt his soft, rumbling laughter before he rubbed his chin in my hair. He said he loved me and I closed my eyes again.
"What time is it?"
"It's around nine."
"At night?"
"No, love, in the morning."
"God, I slept a long time." I yawned languidly, feeling too good to move, knowing I should.
"Yeah, ya did. You needed it."
"I should get up and make you something to eat."
"Just lie still and let me hold you."
I wrapped my arms around his neck and snuggled against him. He hugged me tight and kissed my eyelids. I was so peaceful, my body so heavy, I felt drugged by his closeness, by his attention.
"Love you." I yawned.
"I know, baby. Go back to sleep, you're safe. I'm here."
He had no idea how comforting it was.
Chapter Four
We had a full house. Dane and Aja were there, as well as Sam's family; Dylan had come to check on me, leaving her husband Chris at home with their newborn baby; Aubrey Flanagan dropped by with her new boyfriend, Rick Jenner; and Sam's partner Chloe was there, as well as my friends Evan and Loudon. And even though the reason for it was scary, I loved seeing Aja sitting with Sam's mother and his sisters. Fun to watch Evan talking to Dane, Sam's brother Michael, and Rick. Nice to eavesdrop on Sam's father chatting with Loudon and Aubrey, and listening to Dylan and Sam in the kitchen with Chloe was a treat. It should have been a dinner party, as well as everyone was getting along. When the doorbell rang and Sam let strangers in, I realized that these were the detectives working my case. There were six all together, four from the FBI and two from Chicago PD. I was surprised that Sam didn't take me in the other room with them, but he merely made everyone quiet down while he introduced them to me.
Sam's friends from the department were James Hefron and Neal Lange. Hefron was tall and balding, with broad shoulders and a wide chest. His eyes were dark brown like mine, and his brows looked permanently furrowed. In contrast, his partner Neal Lange had bright green eyes and a slight build.
His smile was quick, his dimples deep, and his hands moved continuously. He seemed restless, but in an eager way instead of a fidgety one. Hefron took a seat as Lange took up space on the coffee table directly in front of me. The FBI agents just stood and looked at me, one of them passing me the morning newspaper, where my kidnapping had made the bottom of the front page. It was spooky to see my name in print.
"Oh shit," I groaned.
The agent chuckled and introduced himself. I didn't catch his name, I wasn't really listening, but I shook all four of their hands and thanked them for trying to help me. I was still looking at the article in the paper. At the time it went to press I had still been missing. I was hoping none of my friends saw it. At least there was no picture of me. I looked really bad in black and white, my coloring didn't come through at all.
Someone coughed softly and when I looked up, I found Neal Lange staring at me.
"Jory," he said softly, staring into my eyes. "I wanna talk to you a little bit here, all right?"
"Sure."
"Okay." He forced a smile. "Over the last few days, as we talked to your brother and to Sam, and after we went back over the old case files from the murder in Oak Park and the others, we were able to piece together something that we didn't really see before."
I was confused.
"You look confused." He smiled at me.
"Aren't you here about the kidnapping?"
"In a roundabout way, yes. We're here about the murders."
"Why? I don't think they have anything to do with me."
"They do in that you are the intended victim but don't as the violence is not actually directed at you."
"What does that even mean?"
"Well, actually, this whole thing, the murders, the kidnapping... we believe that all of this has less to do with you and more to do with your brother, Mr. Harcourt."
"Dane?"
"Yes."
"How? Why?"
"Whoever this guy is, he wants what your brother has. He wants to hurt Mr. Harcourt and he can accomplish that by striking at the people Mr. Harcourt loves. The perpetrator was specifically targeting you because, initially, you were the most important person in Dane Harcourt's life."
"But not anymore."
"No. Now there's Mrs. Harcourt as well."
I shivered. "And Caleb."
He scowled at me, but said yes.
"Why do you look like that?"
"Right this second we're not really sure how Caleb Reid fits into all of this. You fit, Mrs. Harcourt fits, even if Mr.
Harcourt's friends had been targets, which they haven't...
they would fit, but we're uncertain about Mr. Reid. It raises questions about how well this person really knows Dane Harcourt."
I looked at him. "How'dya mean?"
"Well, Mr. Reid is Mr. Harcourt's brother, but they are not close."
"Right."
"And who knows that, Jory?"
"I'm—"
"Who knows that Mr. Reid is related to Mr. Harcourt but is not privy to the extent of their relationship?"
"A ton of people."
"Not really. Only someone close to Mr. Harcourt would know."
"I guess."
He nodded. "So technically we would be looking for someone that knows Mr. Harcourt only superficially. He knows the people your brother knows, knows names, but nothing more."
I shivered. "So you're thinking that the kidnappers know somebody that knows Dane, or they are people that know Dane like an acquaintance."
"Exactly," he agreed, rubbing his forehead. "But that's a lot of people. Mr. Harcourt's close circle was easy to go through and eliminate suspects from. The wider circle will take much longer."
"I see," I said. "So you think Caleb
was taken because—"
"We think Mr. Reid got taken by mistake," he cut me off.
"Or because it was easy... we're not sure what went on there.
We're going through what Mr. Reid remembers, trying to piece something together."
"I dunno about your theory." I stared into his eyes. "What are you basing any of this on? It sounds really far-fetched, like a—"
"The first victim that was killed, the one in your apartment... that was right around the time that Mr. Harcourt made you his brother."
I waited and tried to breathe. Instantly, I was creeped out.
"The second victim was killed when Mr. Harcourt had his big fortieth birthday party. It was huge, the mayor went and—"
"How do you guys know about his birthday party? It wasn't like it was—"
"Jory," he interrupted me. "We're detectives, Jory, this is what we do. We look for patterns."
"But—"
"Listen to me... the third victim was killed right after Mr.
Harcourt's engagement party, and the fourth was found just a couple of weeks after his wedding."
"It seems really random. I mean, if some guy wants to hurt Dane, why not just kill me? Why kill guys that look like me? On top of that, why try and kidnap Aja and me? Why not just her?"
"We think that the brunt of the psychosis is focused on you, but with the opportunity having presented itself to take both you and Mrs. Harcourt... we believe it was too good to pass up."
"But——"
"This was the reason for Mr. Reid being taken as well...opportunity."
"But wouldn't it stand to reason that he would want to take Aja?"
"It's reasonable, but we doubt it was actually planned, which was why it was so easy for Mrs. Harcourt to get away.
He really wasn't prepared to take both of you. Not really."
"You think it was just luck that let Aja get away?"
"Poor planning, your heroics, and some luck, yes."
"Well, the guy is obviously a moron," I scoffed. "I mean, leaving me in a car to be—"
"Make no mistake," Lange shut me down hard. "This man has murdered four people. He has been cunning enough to kill them and leave no trace of his identity, only the similarity of the killings being enough to link them. He has left no DNA evidence at any of his crime scenes, he's a complete unknown."
I noticed when he stopped talking how quiet the room was.
It was like everyone was holding their collective breath.
"And the only reason I'm letting all these people know what's going on is that my partner and I have eliminated as a suspect each and every one of them. They also need to help us keep an eye on you, as you have refused protective custody."
"I'm not living in fear, no matter what."
"Jory, we don't want you to be afraid, we just want you to be aware of—" Lange began.
"We're not saying that you should be—" Hefron chimed in.
"Can I just say that compared to the first time... this was a walk in the park?"
"Jory," Sam warned me.
"What?" I snapped at him, standing up. "It was. You guys forget I've been kidnapped by a cop."
The room was so silent everyone could hear the refrigerator cycling.
"Can I speak to you, please," Sam said before he stood and yanked me after him, his hand like a vice on my bicep as he walked me into the bedroom.
He shoved me away from him before he closed the door behind us.
"What?" I asked, exasperated.
"You think this is a joke?"
"No, but I think whoever this guy is has got nothing on Dominic Kairov so fuck him."
He shoved his hands deep into his pockets.
"Do you want me to be afraid, Sam?"
"A little bit, yeah."
"Well fine, I am a little bit, but not much more. As long as I'm more careful, I'll be all right."
We were silent for several minutes.
"So can we talk about something else?"
I was stunned. "You're not going to yell at me?"
"No."
"Oh."
"Do you want me to yell at you?"
"No," I said quickly.
"Okay, so while I was gone, I thought a lot about you and what my life would be like if I had never met you and—what?
Why're you looking at me like that?"
"'Cause you're really not going to yell at me."
"Can we get off that, please? I have something to say."
I put up my hands. "Sorry, go ahead."
"Okay."
I waited.
He stared at me.
"Sam?"
"When this is all over, I want us to fly up to Canada with everybody and get married."
I wasn't sure I heard him. "I'm sorry, what?"
"I want to marry you. I don't feel like going to Massachusetts or anywhere else so... Canada."
I couldn't stop staring at him.
"We can go to Quebec after and hang out. It's beautiful there."
"Like a honeymoon."
"Exactly like a honeymoon."
I wasn't sure if he was being serious.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Am I looking at you weird?"
"Yeah."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes, I'm serious. Why wouldn't I be serious?"
"I dunno I... I dunno."
"Listen, you need to marry me."
"But Sam, I don't need you to prove anything to me. We don't need to—"
"Who said anything about proving something? I want to be married. I always have. Just because you're not a woman doesn't mean what I want has changed. I wanna wear a ring.
I want you to wear a ring. I wanna stand up in front of my family and your family and our friends and make a commitment to you, because I don't ever plan to leave you, and I want everyone to know that. And I want strangers to see a ring on your finger and know that you're taken. It's important to me."
"I can see that."
"I went down and picked up a domestic partnership agreement, but we gotta both sign it and have it notarized so—God, what?" he asked, exasperated. "Can you stop lookin'
at me like that?"
"How am I looking at you?"
"Like I'm crazy or something."
"I'm just stunned is all."
"Why?"
"I just never expected this."
"You're looking at me like I grew another head."
"Sam, that domestic partnership agreement is like a legal affidavit and—"
"Yeah?"
"Sam, if you do that then everyone will know that—"
"I know!" He raised his voice, grabbing my arms, shaking me gently. "That's what I want."
"Sam, what if being openly gay is hard on you—on your career?"
"J, I'm not expecting it to be any other way."
"Yeah, but—"
"I don't give a shit. I want everyone to know you belong to me. It's the most important thing."
The knock on the door drew our attention. Aja poked her head into the room.
"You guys need to come back out here."
"Be right there." Sam assured her.
She smiled at us both before she closed the door.
I turned to leave but Sam caught my shoulder and stepped around in front of me.
"What?"
"So will you marry me?"
Such a simply spoken question, that I had never thought to hear. Being gay, I figured marriage wasn't an option for me. All my friends thought it was something stupid that never worked out, that only straight people did. It was a heterosexual not a homosexual agenda. I had never had an opinion past it not affecting me one way or another. But into my life had come a very traditional man who never once hadn't thought of marriage as a milestone in his life. Even with our many talks about how his life wouldn't be like he had imagined, he still held fast to the idea that he would be a husband.
"Jory?"
I stared up into his eyes.
&nbs
p; "You want me down on one knee?"
I shook my head.
"At the hospital, the doctors were explaining to Dane what they were doing with you. If you'd been really hurt, they would've asked him to make decisions about you. I hated that. Just standing there like I was invisible... I want to be the person that decides. I want to be the only one they let in if you're ever hurt. I want to be your husband."
My eyes blurred and I felt the tears on my cheeks.
"So whaddya say?"
I assumed it was a given. Of course I would marry him. I would do anything with him he ever wanted.
"J?"
I was completely overwhelmed; any words were out of the question.
"Aww, babe," he said, hands on my face before he bent and kissed me.
My arms wrapped around his neck and I kissed him back with everything I felt but couldn't say.
He clutched me tight, breaking the kiss to smile against my mouth. "So what's your answer?"
"Yes, Sam."
"Yes, Sam what?"
I took a deep breath as I stared up into his eyes. "Yes, Sam Kage, I will marry you."
His scowl was instant. "Jesus, that was like the longest goddamn minute of my life."
I laughed at him as he grabbed me and kissed me breathless.
"I love you, Jory."
"I know." I smiled up at him.
When I was kissed again, I forgot about everything else but the man in my arms. Nothing mattered except that I was loved. I suddenly understood the depth of what Dane felt on his wedding day. To have everything you wanted all at once was very humbling.
* * * *
I was sitting on the couch watching Sam and Aja play a video game while Dane stood by the window on the phone.
Everyone else was gone.
"I think everyone got along really well, don't you?" I asked Sam.
"Yep."
"Did you enjoy meeting Sam's family?" I asked Aja.
Nothing.
"Aja?"
"Oh, are you talking to me?"
"Yes, I'm talking to you."
"Sorry," she said quickly, her eyes never leaving the screen.
"So?"
"So what?"
"Did you enjoy meeting Sam's family?"
"I did. I'm looking forward to going over there this Sunday.
It sounds like fun."
"Sam, that was nice of your mom to invite Dane and Aja."
"Yep."